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    Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, September 10, 1892
    Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, September 10, 1892
    Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, September 10, 1892
    Ebook85 pages38 minutes

    Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, September 10, 1892

    By Various Various

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    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherArchive Classics
    Release dateNov 15, 2013
    Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, September 10, 1892

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      Book preview

      Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 103, September 10, 1892 - Various Various

      The Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, Or The London Charivari, Vol. 103,

      September 10, 1892, by Various

      This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with

      almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or

      re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included

      with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net

      Title: Punch, Or The London Charivari, Vol. 103, September 10, 1892

      Author: Various

      Release Date: February 28, 2005 [EBook #15196]

      Language: English

      *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH ***

      Produced by Malcolm Farmer, William Flis, and the PG Online

      Distributed Proofreading Team.

      PUNCH,

      OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

      Vol. 103.

      September 10, 1892.

      WHY I DON'T WRITE PLAYS.

      (From the Common-place Book of a Novelist.)

      Because it is so much pleasanter to read one's work than to hear it on the Stage.

      Because Publishers are far more amiable to deal with than Actor-Managers.

      Because behind the scenes is such a disappointing place—except in Novels.

      Because why waste three weeks on writing a Play, when it takes only three years to compose a Novel?

      Because Critics who send articles to Magazines inviting one to contribute to the Stage, have no right to dictate to us.

      Because a fairly successful Novel means five hundred pounds, and a fairly successful Play yields as many thousands—why be influenced by mercenary motives?

      Because all Novelists hire their pens in advance for years, and have no time left for outside labour.

      And last, and (perhaps) not least, Why don't I send in a Play? Because I have tried to write one, and find I can't quite manage it!

      According to recent accounts, the attitude of the Salvation Army in Canada may be fairly described as Revolting.

      EQUIVOCAL.

      Rising Young Physician (who cured so many Patients in last year's Epidemic). "NOT MUCH CHANCE OF MORE INFLUENZA IN ENGLAND THIS WINTER, I FANCY!"

      His Wife. LET US HOPE FOR THE BEST, DEAREST!

      A DIARY OF THE DEAD SEASON.

      (Suggested by the Contents Bills.)

      Monday.—First appearance of the Epidemic. Good bold line with reference to Russia. Not of sufficient importance to head the Bill, but still distinctly taking.

      Tuesday.—Quite a feature. Centre of the Bill with sub-lines of Horrible Disclosures, and Painful Scenes. Becoming a boom. To be further developed to-morrow.

      Wednesday.—Bill all Epidemic. Even Cricket sacrificed to make room for it. News from Abroad. Horrors at Hamburg. No idea it would turn out so well. A perfect treasure-trove at this quiet season of the year!

      Thursday.—Nothing but Epidemic—Arrival in England—Precautions Everywhere. Let the boom go! It feeds itself! Nearly as good as a foreign war!

      Friday.—Still the Epidemic, but requires strengthening. Spreading in the Provinces, but still, not like it was. Falling flat.

      Saturday.—A good sensational Murder! The very thing for the Contents Bills. Exit the Epidemic, until again wanted.

      SONGS OF SOCIETY;

      I.—INTRODUCTORY. TO MY LYRE.

      ["Smoothly written vers de Société, where a boudoir decorum is, or ought always to be, preserved; where sentiment never surges into passion, and where humour never overflows into boisterous merriment."—Frederick Locker's Preface to Lyra Elegantiarum.]

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