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    Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 93., October 22, 1887
    Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 93., October 22, 1887
    Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 93., October 22, 1887
    Ebook90 pages47 minutes

    Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 93., October 22, 1887

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    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherArchive Classics
    Release dateNov 26, 2013
    Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 93., October 22, 1887

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      Book preview

      Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 93., October 22, 1887 - Archive Classics

      The Project Gutenberg EBook of Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 93.,

      October 22, 1887, by Various

      This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with

      almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or

      re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included

      with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org

      Title: Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 93., October 22, 1887

      Author: Various

      Release Date: August 14, 2011 [EBook #37078]

      Language: English

      *** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK PUNCH ***

      Produced by Punch, or the London Charivari, Malcolm Farmer,

      Nigel Blower and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team

      at http://www.pgdp.net

      PUNCH,

      OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

      Vol. 93.

      October 22nd, 1887.

      MR. PUNCH’S MANUAL FOR YOUNG RECITERS.

      As has been observed earlier in this series, the Amateur Reciter is influenced by a natural ambition to harrow his audience to the best of his ability.

      And, be it said, the average audience is not at all averse to being harrowed—provided this is done with any science and refinement. When persons are met together for social enjoyment, nothing apparently affords them keener pleasure than a performance which produces certain peculiar sensations, such as the feeling of partial want of control over the facial nerves, smarting behind the eyes, increasing obstruction in the throat, and a general conviction that, unless something occurs to make them laugh at once, they will be irresistibly compelled to sob like so many seals. It is, perhaps, a little odd—but the taste exists, and must be taken into account. The sole drawbacks are that, too often, the means adopted to secure the desired result depend more than should be upon sentiment which might almost be described as false; that the incidents occasionally have too little relation to real life; and that, what might have proved eminently touching, is marred by some involuntary association with the ludicrous and grotesque. In his anxiety to preserve his pupils from such pitfalls as these, Mr. Punch offers an example in which the blemishes he has hinted at have been sedulously avoided. It is at once homely, wholesome, and tear-compelling—like the common onion. You will find you produce a favourable impression at once by announcing it as,—

      Positively the Last Performance!

      (You must come on with a general suggestion in your manner that you are supposed to be the proprietor of an itinerant Cat and Canary Troupe. Begin with a slow and somewhat depressed shake of the head, as if in answer to imaginary inquirer.)

      No, we ain’t performin’ to-day, Sir, and the boys are all on the gape

      At seem’ the mice in mournin’, and the cats in chokers o’ crape;

      But I’m giving the Show a rest, d’ye see? for I didn’t feel up to the job,

      (Pause—then subdued) For my leadin’ comejian’s left me, Sir—

      (Explanatory, perceiving you are not understood)—the brindle kinairy—(more impatiently) Bob!

      What, ye don’t remember? (Surprise.) Not him as wore the toonic o’ Turkey red?

      What rode in a gilded kerridge with a ’at an’ plumes on his ’ed?

      And, as soon as we’d taken a tanner, ’ud fire a saloot from the gun? [ Excitedly.

      There was Talent inside o’ that bird, there was, or I never see it in one!

      (Philosophic bitterness.) Well, he’s soon forgot—but I’ve often thought as a

      fish keeps longer than Fame!

      (Sudden comprehension and restored cordiality.) Oh, ye didn’t know him as Bob?... I see—no, that were his private name.

      I used to announce him in public on a more long-winded-er scale—

      I christened him Gineral Moultky, (apologetically) which he ’ad rather gone at the tail;

      And a bird more popilar never performed on a peripathetic stage,

      He was allers sure of a round of applause as soon as he quitted the cage!

      For he thoroughly hentered into the part he was down for to play,

      And he

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