Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both

Written by Laura Sessions Stepp

Narrated by Ellen Archer

An eye-opening examination of the hookup culture, seen through the personal experiences of high-school- and college-age women who confront the hard lessons of dating, love, and sex.

We're living in an increasingly sexualized world, and it's the young-particularly young women-who must deal with the consequences. Kids are having more sexual contact than ever, and at an earlier age. They call it "hooking up." But what is "hooking up"? According to Laura Sessions Stepp, a reporter at the Washington Post, hooking up eludes a neat definition. It can be anything from an innocent kiss to sexual intercourse.

In Unhooked, Stepp follows three groups of young women (one in high school, one each at Duke and George Washington Universities). She sat with them in class, socialized with them, listened to them talk, and came away with some disturbing insights, including that hooking up carries with it no obligation on either side. Relationships and romance are seen as messy and time-consuming, and love is postponed-or worse, seen as impossible. Some young women can handle this, but many can't, and they're being battered-physically and emotionally-by the new dating landscape. The result is a generation of young people stymied by relationships and unsure where to turn for help.

"The need to be connected intimately to others is as central to our well-being as food and shelter," Stepp writes in Unhooked. "In my view, if we don't get it right, we're probably not going to get anything else in life right."

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tantor Media, Inc
• Release date: Mar 15, 2007
• ISBN: 9781400173990

Reviews for Unhooked

[brianahoven · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I read this book in 2007, a few years after my own college graduation, and I found it to be a spot-on description of the hookup culture and the confusion it creates for young women. I did not agree with all of the authors arguments or approaches, but I could not put it down. Extremely thought-provoking.

[lilac_lily01 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I picked this book up from a bargain bin without giving it much thought. When I finally got around to reading it, I could barely put it down. Laura Stepp interviewed young women and got them to open up about the current hook-up culture. In their own words these women describe how they view sex and love, and their confusion about how to build a good relationship. It seems that this generation is confusing sex with love. And hooking up with random partners without any interest in long term relationships seems to be the norm. While I'm all for female equality and sexual freedom, this approach of pursuing sex doesn't seem to be very fulfilling. On the contrary it sounds like these young women give permission to be used by men without getting anything in return. And as a feminist myself I find this highly appalling! There has to be a better way than this. This book is definitely thought-provoking and should be assigned reading in high school and college.

[harveywals · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

A must read for any parent wondering what on earth "hooking up" really means for our children. It's a mind-blowing look at the culture of sex among youth today. The implications for society are huge.