Kidding Ourselves: The Hidden Power of Self-Deception

Written by Joseph T. Hallinan

Narrated by Brian Hutchison

From the Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and author of Why We Make Mistakes, an illuminating exploration of human beings' astonishing ability to deceive themselves. To one degree or another, we all misjudge reality. Our perception-of ourselves and the world around us-is much more malleable than we realize. This self-deception influences every major aspect of our personal and social life, including relationships, sex, politics, careers, and health. In Kidding Ourselves, Joseph Hallinan offers a nuts-and-bolts look at how this penchant shapes our everyday lives, from the medicines we take to the decisions we make. It shows, for instance, just how much the power of many modern medicines, particularly anti-depressants and painkillers, is largely in our heads. Placebos in modern-day life extend beyond hospitals, to fake thermostats and "elevator close" buttons that don't really workbut give the perception that they do. Kidding Ourselves brings together a variety of subjects, linking seemingly unrelated ideas in fascinating and unexpected ways. And ultimately, it shows that deceiving ourselves is not always negative or foolish. As increasing numbers of researchers are discovering, it can be incredibly useful, providing us with the resilience we need to persevere, in the boardroom, bedroom, and beyond. Provocative, accessible, and easily applicable to multiple facets of everyday life, Kidding Ourselves is an extraordinary new exploration of our mind's flexibility.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Recorded Books, Inc.
• Release date: May 20, 2014
• ISBN: 9781490625492

Reviews for Kidding Ourselves

[mposey82 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

In "Kidding Ourselves" Joe Hallinan presents an interesting survey on the role self deception plays in several cognitive environments. The role, the want, or maybe the need, for self deception is really highlighted in a way that other books have not addressed. The assumptions we make about the world and how this feeds into how we interact with everything else is a very fertile subject. Hallinan is pressing into an interesting area with his book, and I like the general concept. There is so much about our every day life that is dependent on each and every one of us fooling ourselves that I greatly appreciated reading various concrete examples where self-deception played a critical role.Many examples have at their center the role expectation plays in perception. Whether it is the radiologist missing the giant gorilla in the x-ray, the phony knee surgery, or peoples opinions about marginal tax rates. To be sure there an assortment of heuristics biases, and social norms working, or not working, in many of the scenarios presented. But the unifying way these distortions seem to be failing is because of a mis-calibration of expectation.What is most interesting is where this lag in expectation works out in our favor. And these are consistently the most interesting in my reading. The soldiers who are shot and didn't need anesthetic because they saw the event as saving their life. Or how, above a certain threshold, attitude about life is a strongly correlated with good health as the wealthiest individuals with, presumably, access to the highest standard of care. What would have been interesting is some additional synthesis about what is different about the situations where deception was detrimental and where it was helpful. Asking whether the same systems are involved and figuring out if we could figure out in advance whether any deception going on might be helpful or not. All in an enjoyable read with a variety of interesting examples covering both helpful and negative instances of self-deception. But more synthesis of why these particular cases cause self-deception would have been appreciated.

[nvgomez_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

An amazing book, and quick read, on how we deceive ourselves AND all the good and bad that comes along with it. Well written with clear examples and just plain fun to read. I particularly enjoyed reflecting on the examples given and thinking, "That's me!" or Is that me?!?!?!"You will enjoy it.

[dougcornelius_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This is a slim book that breezes over many examples from behavioral economics. The main theme is that the brain is complicated and self-deception helps guide us. It's a short, breezy book that is easy to read and digest. (Perhaps too easy and breezy for my tastes.) He never spends more than a few pages an any one case of self-deception.It does not try to get you to understand the science or the how and why f the way humans act. It waits until the conclusion to bring up the main thesis that deceiving ourselves is not always negative or foolish. It can be incredibly useful.

[squeakychu · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Interesting and enlightening, this book talks about the various ways we deceive ourselves in our day-to-day life. The author's snappy writing and clear description of experiments and research made me speed through this book in just two days. The topics he addressed were the following:1. The placebo effect works.2. In herd mentality, an individual unthinkingly tends to follow what others do.3. Death can be an effect of hopelessness.4. We see what we expect to see.5. If we believe it, it's true for us.6. A sense of control correlates to better health.7. Superstition breeds confidence which leads to better outcomes.8. Power dulls our sensitivity to others.9. The more successful we are, the less we believe we'll be caught cheating.10.We believe we are risk averse.11. Optimism pays off - even if a bit deludedI liked reading about all issues addressed in the book, but those about power left me feeling a bit sad. It seems that most people in positions of power have attributes I don't like. It seems ironic that I just finished reading Walter Isaacson's book "Steve Jobs". That CEO really was a good example of what Joseph T. Hallinan has to say about the personality of those in power.I really enjoyed this book. I hope you do, too.

[dandelionroots · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Self-deception is a trait of humanity, crossing cultures, allowing us to persevere in the face of unpleasant/disastrous reality (to a certain extent, of course). Belief is the key component - the placebo effect is powerful and far reaching, unless you're clinically depressed then you and reality are pretty square, to your detriment. So many topics are touched upon that it reads a bit disjointed and the prose is hardly elegant, but the subject matter is thought provoking.Referencing the fallacious use of magnetism to treat people with a variety of illnesses in the late 18th century: "If Mr. Mesmer had no other secret than that of making the imagination act to produce health, would not that be a marvelous benefit? If the medicine of imagination is the best, why shouldn't we practice it?" (Dr. Deslon)

[sincostani · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Fascinating book about how our brains deceive us both to our benefit and our detriment. The writing is entertaining and easy to read (often very informal), and the segments are quite short in length-- in my opinion too short. This book covers a huge number of topics and studies, but unfortunately not in enough detail. Several times the very interesting conclusion of a scientific study was mentioned without describing the actual experiment. There are endnotes to be fair, but I personally would have preferred a longer and more in-depth book. I learned a lot from this book and enjoyed the experience at the same time. I would recommend it to anyone curious about how our minds work, or simply looking for something interesting to read. Note: I received this book as part of LibraryThing's early reviewer program.

[shadow123_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This was a good introduction to a complicated topic. It's very simplified - which probably prompted other reviewers' complaints about accuracy. The problem isn't that the book is inaccurate, because it largely is accurate (vitamins really are useless - your body can't process them in pill form; and there is as yet no proven scientific purpose behind yawning (the brain cooling thing is a common myth)). But in trying to write for a general, nonscientific audience, some detail and nuance is lost. So is the story behind Bernie Madoff's motives more complicated than that presented in the book? Certainly. But that's not the point. Self-deception certainly plays a part, or else he wouldn't have bothered to break the law in the first place.Overall this is a great read. It's a super easy read - people used to reading scientific papers or journal articles will fly through this in one evening. But for the rest of the world, this is a great overview of an interesting topic. Provides lots of interesting facts and tidbits that make for good dinner conversation, and provides extensive notes and references for those who would like to investigate these topics further and get a more detailed view of the research. But this book was fun, well-researched, and well-written.

[pencilstubs-1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I dove into this book expecting to love it, but I was disappointed. Some of the author’s examples of self-deception have no concrete link to self-deception. For example, in the chapter on how feeling hopeless, helpless or trapped can cause the brain to prematurely give up and the body to die even when there’s still a chance to survive, there’s a few pages on fatal heart attacks brought on by acute emotional distress. A sudden flood of stress hormones triggering a heart attack isn’t really death-by-self-deception. The same chapter includes a section on soldiers brainwashed into losing the will to live. I wouldn’t count prolonged mental abuse/manipulation as *self*-deception either.Or take the chapter on how we deceive ourselves through herd mentality, where the spike of copycat suicides following Marilyn Monroe’s suicide is cited. People who are depressed and suicidal are influenced by heavily publicized suicides. These people commit suicide because of their vulnerable mental state, not because their mind is suddenly tricking them into killing themselves. The book also contains factual inaccuracies, such as that yawning has no purpose (yawning is a mechanism for cooling the brain when it gets overheated) or that dietary supplements are useless (they’re very helpful for vitamin deficiencies, pregnant women, people with poor diets, etc.). There is a ton of interesting and useful information in this book, such as discussion on nocebos (the opposite of placebos), seeing what we expect to see, performing as well (or as badly) as we expect to perform, how we react when in/not in control, feeling immune to risks, etc. But I feel that the author could have been more careful with his example selections and fact-checking. This is the type of book I’d recommend borrowing from the library or getting used/on-sale, not paying full-price for.

[sovranty · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

You are successful, attractive, smart, healthy, blessed by the gods and everyone wants to be your friend...right? This book seems to instruct that while you may not be any of these things, telling yourself that you are these things will ultimately go a long way in helping you achieve them. The lack of heavy scientific language may be just as appealing to some as it is unappealing to others; it is well referenced for those looking for something deeper.Self-deception seems to be yet another inherent trait that makes humans human. The little white lies are harmless, and may actually be positive and rewarding. It's the delusions of grandeur we must avoid.

[bookcrazed_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Hallinan has reviewed a large body of research whose goal, apparently, was to study human self-deception, or illusion. I remember reading a book published in the 1970s that asserted that the moment a research topic is chosen, the researcher’s bias has already influenced the outcome. That doesn’t mean we throw out the baby with the bath water; it does mean that we must be open to conclusions other than the ones put forth by the researchers and the various reviewers of their research. That is to say, my bias leans towards another set of conclusions.After 200 plus pages of research illustrating the human propensity to regularly succumb to illusions rather than face the certainty of reality, Hallinan asserts this habit has a biological basis and is necessary for our survival. Self-delusion, Hallinan concludes, is the vehicle for hope and optimism, two essentials for a happy life. We who refuse to accept reality in favor of deluded optimism are happier, healthier, and more productive.In his first few pages, Hallinan introduces the work of Mesmer, a German physician introduced "animal magnetism" as the silver bullet to cure the physical ails of humankind. Living in Paris at the time, Mesmer descended into obscurity shortly after an investigative commission, appointed by the French king and headed by Benjamin Franklin, issued a report labeling him a fraud and his “magnetism” a hoax. Members of the commission were nonetheless impressed with the amazing results that “imagination” could produce. Hallinan quotes Bailly, an astronomer who was a member of the commission: “Whereas magnetism appears nonexistent to us, we were struck by the power of two of our most astonishing faculties: imitation and imagination. Here are the seeds of a new science, that of the influence of the spiritual over the physical.”That is the whole of Hallinan’s nod to the we-create-our-own-reality school of thinking before he falls back on the more conservative among the possible scientific conclusions—not so much dismissing the power of the conscious mind, as simply ignoring it. This would have been a very different book, however, if he had included studies from the large body of research that supports the notion of the power of the human mind to shape reality. There is Dossey’s 1980s research where participants prayed over petri dishes of bacteria, and the organisms receiving the prayer treatment thrived in comparison to those not receiving prayer. In his bestselling Ageless Body, Timeless Mind, Deepak Chopra, an endocrinologist who developed a practice that blended Western medicine and the precepts of ancient Ayurvedic medicine, cited a number of studies that illustrate the power of the mind to transfer information in ways that would have previously seemed improbable. One study, in particular, stands out in my mind. Researchers scraped cells from a volunteer’s mouth and transported them to a distant laboratory, several states away. When the volunteer ate something, his distant cells salivated.From the common belief that we influence outcomes with our thought comes the popular saying, “Be careful what you wish for, for you will surely get it.” Generations of philosophers have proposed that we create our own reality. What proponents of this school of thought consider the unplumbed depths of the power of the human mind is labeled “the power of illusion” by Hallinan and the researchers he cites. I propose that it is the bias of the researchers that brings them to the conclusion that depressed people are more in touch with reality than optimistic people. Perhaps they are influenced by the fact that bad things continue to happen, despite the best efforts of good people—or a deeply embedded belief that “life’s a bitch and then you die.”Though I fault some of his conclusions, I do not fault Hallinan’s presentation or his writing gift. He is among those writing geniuses whose prose are transparent; we benefit from his ability to tell the story without noticing that he’s there. And I don’t criticize the research projects that are the subject of his reporting. There is a lot of food for thought here. I was particularly intrigued with the section on the herding instinct (“jumping on the band wagon” could be another phrase for that) and mass hysteria, which helped me begin to understand why people will vote against their own best interests. And I found particularly interesting his discussion of power and powerlessness and how it affects people’s behavior. Most people in positions of power live in a near-constant state of delusion about how the rest of the world sees them, writes Hallinan, believing that most people admire, respect, and perhaps even worship them, tied in with the illusion that they can do anything without getting caught. Indeed, as a generality, he reports, people who involve themselves in risky behavior don’t believe they will be one of the majority who will suffer the consequences.If my own experience counts (and for me, it does), I disagree on this point. When I’ve had to pay the piper, I knew the risks and decided to take them—though admittedly I didn’t give it all that much careful, intelligent thought—and it doesn’t even have to be a matter of statistical risk; it can be an absolute inevitability. It’s the Scarlett O’Hara syndrome: tomorrow is another day, a variation on “if it feels good, do it,” a victory of the pleasure principle over the fear of exposure. Not mentioned, and likely important, is the thrill factor. Whether it is stripping off to go skinny dipping at night or shoplifting a candy bar or diving from a rocky cliff or seducing your neighbor’s wife, there is always the underlying excitement that can only come from taking a known risk. What’s exciting about knowing you’re not going to get caught?On another note, citing Gail Sheehy’s 1976 bestseller Passages as one of the many books that use data from a Harvard study pushed one of my buttons. Hallinan is not required to mention it, but Sheehy did not credit her source, leading her readers to conclude the data were hers. She continues to receive recognition and income from her fraud, and the only price she had to pay was a settlement payment to the man who actually did the work. And here we have another cause for risky behavior, the possibility that, even if caught, it will all blow over—a proposition that is supported by time itself.I particularly take exception to Hallinan using Bernie Madoff as an example of someone so deluded with his own power that he did not believe he would be caught. That’s a faulty analysis, since Madoff himself repeatedly stated that there were many times when he thought he had been caught, and he couldn’t believe he hadn’t been caught sooner. The whole subject is far more complex than a generalized hardwired propensity to delusion. Madoff is probably sitting in his cell right now, lost in the intoxication of his power: he brought the world to its knees. But it is worth mentioning that he had help from many people who were living under the very real delusion that looking the other way or being lazy about their job responsibilities was not a big deal.Despite my criticism of the book’s conclusions, it’s full of good stuff, and I’m glad I read it.

[lbeaumont_8 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

We are taught truth is a virtue, but this book provides many examples of where illusions and distortions are often helpful. Apparently “self-deception is a facet—and not a flaw—of our evolutionary development”. The placebo effect—the illusion that an inert pill or procedure is helpful—often results in healing only because it deceives the patient. Franz Anto Mesmer was able to treat disease using belief alone. The effect was so powerful and mysterious that Benjamin Franklin was asked to investigate it. After many careful experiments the report concluded “Magnetism without the imagination produce nothing.” William James notes “Belief creates the actual fact.” Strange maladies sometimes spread throughout a town propagated only by belief and fear. These mass delusions result in real symptoms, and only disappear when the beliefs causing them are overcome. People can die of a broken heart, despondency, or stress. This is death by hypochondria, and it’s no longer all in your head.Many examples demonstrate that “Not only do we tend to see what we expect to see, we also tend to experience what we expect to experience.” Furthermore: “Once we have skin in the game, or ability to be objective goes out the window.” Purpose precedes perception. Once we form a belief, “we tend to slant the way we process information in such a way as to preserve our underlying beliefs.” This effect is often so strong that providing more information contrary to the belief often strengthens that belief. The examples continue, demonstrating that “having a sense of control has been constantly linked with physical health”, superstition breeds confidence, power leads to an illusory sense of control, and we are optimistic that luck will protect us from risk. Is delusion a defect in our thinking that has escaped eons of evolution? In fact, several of these delusions are helpful. Optimism—an unrealistic belief that things will turn out better for you—leads to persistence. “There is a strong connection between depression and realism.” Optimistic people are healthier. And it seems “we deal with reality by unconsciously distorting it.” Apparently “self-deception is not a flaw of our evolution design, but a feature.” Don’t kid yourself; self-deception is an inherent human trait. This book helps us understand it and accept it. Overall the book presents a clear argument well supported by evidence. The book is well written, accessible, and fun to read. It can help us see more clearly the many circumstances in which we fail to see clearly.

[carolo_77 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I enjoyed this book…or maybe I am just kidding myself? The author has a myriad of subliminal influences that could be affecting my opinion of the book. Do I like it because I received it for free? Do I like it because the book cover states that it was written by a bestselling author? Do I like it because I chose the book from a list and therefore had some control? Do I like it because I expected to like it?In the end it really doesn’t matter because it is the author’s premise that a little self-deception is not only helpful, it’s essential.

[rosecityreader · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Hallinan makes brain science accessible as he uses dozens of examples to explain how and why self-deception influences our decisions and actions. It is a book easy to dip into but hard to put down.

[laffrey_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Ever wonder why it’s impossible to convince your wingnut uncle or your socialist sister-in-law or the idiots from high school that you’ve friended on Facebook, that they’re wrong? You know they’re misinformed partisans and, if they would just listen to the sweet music of reason, pouring from your lips, they would all be so much happier. But they don’t. In fact, as Joseph T. Hallinan demonstrates in his informative, amusing and, to those of us who know we’re right, frustrating book, Kidding Ourselves: The Hidden Power of Self Deception, the more evidence we have, the more logical our argument, the harder those who disagree will dig in and hold to their beliefs.And it’s not just others who delude themselves. We all do, at some time or another. In fact, according to Hallinan, that self-delusion can be an advantage, even when it leads us to overestimate our abilities or under estimate our effect on others. Hallinan offers anecdotes then supports his ideas with evidence from studies from researchers around the globe, some, years in the making.Kidding Ourselves is an interesting look at why we do what we do (and others don’t). Can this book help you use your delusions to improve your life? I think so. But, then, I may just be deluding myself….

[judiex · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Many years ago. I began to clean the house. I took out the vacuum cleaner and left it on the living room rug. I put some furniture polish on a cloth and took a swipe across the dining room table. I didn’t get any further than that. Later that day, when my husband and children got home, they each told me how nice the house looked, something they had never said before after I had spent hours thoroughly cleaning the house.In KIDDING OURSELVES, Joseph T. Hallinan raises this phenomenon when he states that people see what they expect to see. A pedestrian or bicyclist is more likely to be hit by a car in an area where there are few other walkers or riders because the drivers are not looking for them. “Our perceptions conform to our expectations.”A person who is told he is smart, will do better on a test than someone who is told he is below average. People in authority–teachers, baseball umpires, bosses–will give more credit to someone they think is superior regardless of the actual results.We look for rationalizations to explain what we have done or seen. Self-deception allows us to adjust to life’s realities by altering our perceptions of them. What counts is not what is real but what we believe is real. Hallinan explains both positive and negative reasons and effects for this phenomenon. Robert Frost said, “Why abandon a belief merely because it ceases to be true?” In fact, the opposite may be true. People become more entrenched to a belief because they think admitting they were wrong damages their self-esteem. Even with more than ninety percent of scientists saying that global warming is real and dangerous, a sizable number of people don’t believe it and won’t change their habits to try to reduce the damage. More Americans today(61%) believe that the assassination of President Kennedy was the result of a conspiracy than did in 1963 (52%). In fact, more believe that than believe in Darwin’s theory of evolution (39%).Elected officials don’t believe that fiscal stimulus helps the economy add jobs, according to Christina Romer, because they are “arguing from ideology rather than evidence.” Providing proof often causes people to become more firm in their opinions because they believe their self-esteem is being threatened.Many bosses have tunnel vision. The only opinion that counts is their own. Underlings tend to try to agree with the boss. This was one of the reasons for the Cuban Missile crisis during John Kennedy’s administration: None of his advisors dared to disagree with him. Afterwards, his brother Bobby served aa his Devil’s Advocate to be sure that other perspectives were considered.In well-written, easy to understand format, KIDDING OURSELVES helps us recognize the tricks we play on ourselves and how they can be helpful or harmful. The only parts that I questioned were Hallinan’s statements about the high frequency of people marrying people who have the same last name (I know of only two such cases and in one of them the names were spelled differently) and that after a series of ballot initiatives, “California voters tended to mimic the positions of their political party (and were blind to the fact that they were doing just that.” Many voters support candidates with whom they agree before voting for them, not visa versa.I received an advance copy of this book through LibraryThing Early Reviewers.

[darcia_10 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

We've all heard the saying "Perception is everything", and Hallinan sets out to show us that our perception is largely personal, biased, and oddly stubborn in the face of opposing facts.Kidding Ourselves is reader-friendly, pop science that looks at everything from how placebos work to why mass hysteria occurs. We're treated to examples that are both comical and compelling. Hallinan has an easy writing style, absent of academic language and complicated science. This is a book for anyone interested in the way our minds work to both help and deceive us.This is a short read. While the print length is listed as 272 pages, much of that is Notes and Bibliography. I read this in Kindle format, and the content ends at 70%. I don't know what page number that would be, but I'd guess the actual content is under 200 pages in print. The light read works well for the casual reader, though I would have liked a bit more substance. I had some issues with the generalities and conclusions reached with certain information. For instance, Hallinan talks about society's addiction to dietary supplements despite the fact that "they don't work". As proof, he tells us that studies found these things are a waste of money. This is gross misrepresentation of facts. While it's true that many studies show multivitamins are ineffective, that is not true of all or even most dietary supplements. He goes on to cite one particular study of vitamin E and prostate cancer, taking the enormous leap that, because it doesn't work as a treatment for prostate cancer, it is useless or even detrimental to our health overall. Here, I think Hallinan has shown us his own skewed perception of facts. There are countless studies proving the efficacy of various herbs and vitamins on specific chronic diseases. (Many studies of supplements are financed by pharmaceutical companies, which cannot own a patent on vitamins/herbs and therefore have every incentive to pronounce them useless.) While I think we need to be careful of these over-generalizations, much of the information contained in this book is thought-provoking. Hallinan shares some interesting anecdotes, reminding us that reality can be a subjective thing.

[davidwineberg · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Years ago, I came up with a concept I called The Uncertainty Certainty. Uncertainty gives people pause, and the resolution of the uncertainty permits them to make precisely the wrong decision, time after time. It's uncanny. Kidding Ourselves is a compendium of similar human folly. In order to maintain some sort of control, some sort of dignity, some sort of pride, we constantly hold positions in clear contradiction to reality. Even when we read the studies or the stories, when we know the stats and the odds, we continue to hold opinions that are just plain wrong, and mostly about ourselves. Hallinan calls it a built-in placebo effect.The book is a collection of stories and studies. We have examined the phenomenon up and down, forwards and backwards, in seemingly hundreds of ways. Incredible amounts of money have been expended to tell us this: we deceive ourselves constantly. It's innate and unstoppable. Rats and dogs show the same tendencies. Have a nice day fooling yourself.We spend billions every year on vitamins and supplements, despite the almost weekly reporting of studies that show some vitamin totally failed to have any effect whatsoever in a two year study of 5000 people. Or that there has never been a study that showed any vitamin actually achieved preventing colds or cancer, extending lives, improving memory or easing joint movement.It's even worse in politics. In Ohio before the last election, 15% of Republicans claimed to believe Mitt Romney had Osama Bin Laden killed. Nationwide, over half of Americans believe JFK was killed in a conspiracy. Hallinan says in politics, the most informed are the most biased, spouting wrong statistics and incorrect facts that favor their own stance. So while you might think they lie like rugs, the Michele Bachmanns of the world actually believe what they say. Facts be damned.Whole towns have been laid low by non existent diseases. Eastern Ukraine believes the country's upheaval is solely a fabrication of western journalists. Mesmer changed thousands of lives with magnets (until Benjamin Franklin proved him silly). It is endless.Fortunately, the book is not. At only 155 pages of content, it's a compact, entertaining and enlightening sampling of the disaster. Or maybe it's not a disaster. Maybe self deception is what keeps the wheels turning. One question it does not deal with: is knowing empowering? That will have to be another book.