When is it okay to never get over something? When is it time to stop unpacking in therapy and start moving forward? Where do you start if you don’t have the tools? Today, we answer all of these and more with licensed marriage and family therapist, Vienna Pharaon. Vienna Pharaon is the founder of the group practice Mindful Marriage and Family Therapy and one of New York City’s most sought-after relationship therapists. Vienna’s new book ‘The Origins of You’ teaches readers to change unwanted patterns in their lives by changing their relationship to their past wounds. Don’t forget to DM us on IG or submit a question on thoughtsmayvary.com to have your question or theme unpacked on a future episode! 0:00 Intro5:38 Vienna's unpacking19:46 Behaviors & grief21:29 When is it okay to never get over something?26:33 Where to start if you don't have all the tools?32:06 Trading authenticity for attachment40:54 When is it time to stop digging through the past and start moving forward?48:06 Addressing the "mother wound" 58:14 Self-worth, expanders, & not putting people on pedestals1:03:13 The twin demons: repetition and opposition & what integration looks likeMORE VIENNA:The Origins Of You: https://viennapharaon.com/Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-keeps-happening-with-vienna-pharaon/id1702579456IG: https://www.instagram.com/mindfulmft/SHOP “CO-CREATE” TMV’S MANIFESTATION JOURNAL: https://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/the-tmv-shopDiscount codes, extra unpackings, journal prompts, vlogging (+more!) all happening with our familia over on Patreon. Come hang out — https://www.patreon.com/thoughtsmayvary?️ Listen anywhere you get your podcasts ?️? Watch episodes: https://www.youtube.com/@thoughtsmayvary  ? Follow along, we're funny on the internet sometimeshttps://www.thoughtsmayvary.com/https://www.instagram.com/thoughtsmayvarypodhttps://www.tiktok.com/@thoughtsmayvarypodThreads @thoughtsmayvarypodMeadow: https://www.instagram.com/itsmeadowlarkGaby: https://www.instagram.com/gabyulloa_DISCLAIMER: We are not licensed professionals. If you are seeking licensed and professional mental health support, please reach out to 741-741 (The Crisis Text Line) or The NAMI Helpline or The Trevor Project or reach out to us for more resources.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands