We welcome internationally bestselling author, Stephanie Danler, to discuss Stray, her memoir of growing up in a family shattered by lies and addiction, and of her attempts to find a life beyond the limits of her past.** We start by discussing how Stray was not the most obvious follow-up to her bestselling novel, Sweetbitter, and how she knew this was what she needed to write next (even though she didn’t want to). (01:40)** We discuss a powerful passage from Stray in which Stephanie touches on her impulse to destroy and how she continually fights her self-destructive impulses. (04:45)** Stephanie shares how motherhood has been about shedding identities and made her question who she is, and also how the expectations of motherhood differed wildly from her own experiences. (10:30) ** We then discuss how motherhood is the craziest, most awe-inspiring thing we’ve ever done, but also how we need to leave more space for discussions around the challenges, shock and confusion of motherhood. (13:45) ** In writing Stray, Stephanie wrote from her wounds, those hot spots of shame and pain. We absolutely loved hearing Stephanie’s advice on how to find those places and write from them. (23:05)**  Stephanie excels at distilling people into two types: this one is people who trust the world and people who don't. In the beginning she wasn't sure if the Love Interest would last, but a passage in Stray reveals the answer as to how she keeps moving forward in her relationship. (26:35)** We discuss one of our favorite topics -- the unlikeable female protagonist -- and get Stephanie’s take on whether we’ve made any progress since Tess in Sweetbitter. (31:51)** Of course we discuss astrology with Stephanie … the three of us making a fire sign trifecta of Sagittarius, Aries and Leo! Stephanie shares what it’s like to live in a house full of fire signs! (37:45)** Stephanie reads a passage from Stray about her Southern California mysticism and we discuss whether she still embraces that skepticism. (41:15)** Stephanie reads a portion of Frank O’Hara’s poem “Mayakovsky” and tells us why she chose to open her memoir with this particular piece of poetry, as well as the role poetry has played in her writing life. (44:05)** Stephanie shares the books she's reading and gives us an update on the various projects she is working on right now. Follow us on Instagram and Facebook @popfictionwomen and on Twitter @pop_women. To do a full deep dive, check out our website at www.popfictionwomen.com. Stay Complicated!We’ve launched a platform at patreon.com/popfictionwomen to keep making the podcast you love -- and to make it even better. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.