"I thought I was leaving my grief behind. I truly thought I had finished grieving. When Rivs got sick, that narrative was cracked wide open. And I learned that you never finish grieving, and that’s OK. Healing is a continuous journey, and the grief kind of comes along with us and becomes a part of us. And that’s a beautiful thing." It's hard to find suitable words to do justice for Steph Catudal's words. Her New York Times best-selling memoir, Everything All at Once, is heart-wrenching, gripping, evocative, and emotional. It's the story of Steph's childhood — of losing her dad to lung cancer when she was just 14, and the turmoil, rebellion, and upheaval that filled the following years. It's simultaneously the story of her adulthood — of nearly losing her husband, Tommy Rivers Puzey, to lung cancer, and of his 84-day medically induced coma. It's the story of grief, survival, strength, caregiving, motherhood, and so much more. And it's about running, but it's not about running at all. SPONSORS: UCAN: Click here to get a FREE Edge sample pack (you’ll just pay the cost of shipping), and use code ALI23 for 20% off your next UCAN order. Tracksmith: New customers, use code ALINEW for $15 off your first Tracksmith order over $75. Returning customers, use code ALIGIVE for free shipping, plus a portion of the proceeds from your order will be donated to Moms Demand Action. What you’ll get on this episode: What life is like now that Steph’s story is out in the world (2:45) On perception vs. reality (5:35) Steph’s original plan for a book — and what it ended up being (8:50) How Steph was able to recall such vivid details from the hardest days of her life (16:00) The times when Steph felt scared (23:20) How Steph learned — and allowed herself — to be vulnerable as a mother (26:15) Is the rebellious girl somewhere inside Steph? (34:25) “I see your heart and it is good.” (37:45) On fear and the possibility of Rivs dying (41:10) What Steph’s relationship with running is like (43:30) What it was like when Rivs returned to the marathon, completing the 2021 New York City Marathon (50:30) On marriage (55:55) Follow Steph: Instagram @steph_outside Follow Ali: Instagram @aliontherun1 Join the Facebook group Twitter @aliontherun1 Support on Patreon Subscribe to the newsletter SUPPORT the Ali on the Run Show! If you’re enjoying the show, please subscribe and leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Spread the run love. And if you liked this episode, share it with your friends!