Parenting is madness -- here's how to calm it down

FromDad Smarter Not Harder

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Parenting is madness -- here's how to calm it down

FromDad Smarter Not Harder

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Length:

11 minutes

Released:

Oct 4, 2021

Format:

Podcast episode

Description

Parenting can be absolute madness. What has helped me settle down is understanding the true objective: that we need to raise fully capable, independent adults. And we can't accomplish this through punishment -- the only way to accomplish it is through taking advantage of learning opportunities.

Released:

Oct 4, 2021

Format:

Podcast episode

Titles in the series (34)

Jun Loayza becomes a human guinea pig, putting his parenting life in full display with the goal of helping others learn from his parenting mistakes. Let's grow together and become the best fathers that we can be.

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How to use planning to teach kids adaptability and delayed gratification: I do a deep dive about how I use planning (and stick figures) to teach Juniper adaptability, delayed gratification, and problem solving. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
10 min listen
How to get out the door in the morning w/o bribes, threats, or tears with Katy Wang: Katy Wang from Mission Montessori joins us to listen to some real-world examples of getting the kids ready in the morning and gives us tangible methods to do better. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
36 min listen
How to turn a fight with your spouse into a positive for your kids: Kim and I get into a fight in front of the kids, but, we turn this high-stress situation into a wonderful teaching moment that helps Juniper learn how to positively resolve conflicts. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
14 min listen
How to use fun and humor to reset during a meltdown: A beautiful day placed at the brink of chaos because Juniper threw her jacket on the floor and expects me to pick it up for her. It's a standoff. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
19 min listen
How to use breathing to calm down during a meltdown: A nice, quiet evening whilst eating pistachios turns into an opportunity for Juniper and I to practice our deep breathing -- all because Google played the wrong song. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
13 min listen
How to teach kids intrinsic motivation with Dave Lee on Parenting: If you weren't there to tell them to do it, would your kids eat their vegetables, brush their teeth, or clean their room? Today, Dave Lee teaches us how to instill intrinsic motivation in our kids so that we can stop policing them and instead enjoy them. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
57 min listen
Sharing is caring -- or is it? What should you do when siblings won't share?: Kimbal wants to play with a puzzle box, but Juniper takes it from her. Instead of punishing Juniper or taking it away from her, I use it as an opportunity to teach empathy and eventually sharing. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
12 min listen
Connect: How to stop a meltdown before it happens: I saw it as it was happening -- our 4yo was going to meltdown. But before it happened, I swooped in, connected with her, and then worked it out. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
9 min listen
How I got my daughter to proudly clean the toilet: I saw a Dad on Twitter claim that his kids were "fighting over who gets to clean the toilet". No way I thought. But it worked and you too can have this power. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
10 min listen
How to measure if your kids actually listen to you: I feel like everyday I proactively try to teach my children something new, but I often wonder, is everything I'm telling them going in one ear and out the other? In this episode, we explore a way to measure if your teachings are sticking with your kids. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
15 min listen
How to pull off inception on your child: How can you get your child to do what you want them to do without telling them to do it? Let's become Leonardo DiCaprio for the day and learn how to pull off inception on your kids. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
7 min listen
Don't argue. Call it a challenge and solve it together.: We have a challenge this morning. Juniper wants to go to the zoo, but for many, many reasons, we can't go today. I have to try to get her to want to go to the museum, but how do I do it -- especially when she's fixated on the zoo? by Dad Smarter Not Harder
8 min listen
What to do when siblings are developing a rivalry: I thought I had it all figured out. Juniper and Kimbal had been working well for months: sharing food, sharing toys, holding hands, but all of a sudden, something has changed. Juniper is acting out -- throwing things, yelling, kicking, screaming. It's the rivalry -- the sibling rivalry. And somehow, I need to help Juniper and Kimbal thrive together. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
12 min listen
Parenting win: The patience to explain EVERYTHING: At bedtime tonight, I was reading a book to Kimbal and Kim, when Juniper, angrily, stomps into the bedroom and yanks the book out of my hands. I was shocked. What would you do in this situation? I can tell you, I naturally wanted to get angry and punish Juniper. But would that have accomplished? Instead, I take a deep breath, and accept this situation as a learning opportunity. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
10 min listen
The girl who lost all of her fingers: Juniper won't stop sucking her fingers -- and they're getting very irritated. I try to use sticks, "stop sucking your fingers or else!" or carrots, "stop sucking your fingers and you'll get to watch TV," but nothing is working as a permanent solution. What do you do when your child won't listen do you? It's time for some storytelling, but nothing like you've ever heard before. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
11 min listen
Parenting fail: My anger got the better of me and how to overcome it next time: 4yo didn't want to go to school today. Because we practice the first principle mindset at home, 4yo can make her own decision about going to school, we just need to do a good job at guiding and teaching her. But ultimately, challenges arise and I let my anger get the better of me. Here's what you and I can do better next time. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
13 min listen
How to get your kids to happily eat their broccoli: How do you get your kids to eat healthy? Do you use rewards, "Eat your broccoli and you'll get dessert."? Do you use punishment, "Eat your zucchini or no tv tonight."? On today's episode, I teach you a method that actually works and that builds intrinsic motivation so that they'll eat their broccoli even when you're not there. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
9 min listen
Intro to the Minimum Effective Dose (MED) to raising children: What is the absolute minimum that we need to do in order to raise capable, confident, mentally strong children? by Dad Smarter Not Harder
5 min listen
Give your children a smartphone: Is it better to prevent phone use in your household or teach your children how to control the phone use? by Dad Smarter Not Harder
10 min listen
Stop telling your children what to do. Instead, do this.: A challenge presented itself today. I could easily tell my children what to do and drag them through it kicking and screaming. But there must be a better way. Today we explore how we can help a child identify a challenge and walk them through solving it. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
9 min listen
Don't help your children get back up: Dive into the art of letting kids face life's challenges, inspired by "How to Raise an Adult." Over-parenting can hinder growth & self-confidence. Key points: empower kids, avoid coddling, & trust their capabilities. Learn to raise resilient adults by sometimes stepping back. Join us! ? by Dad Smarter Not Harder
3 min listen
How to insult your kids: Discussing a recent incident with Cardi B, we explore handling haters & criticism. Learn a technique I've taught my kids: responding to negativity with a calm "Ok thanks", showing maturity & not giving haters satisfaction. Rise above & show words don't define you. Watch on! ?? by Dad Smarter Not Harder
5 min listen
Beautiful oops: Kimbal messes up Juniper's drawing. I respond in the worst way possible and Juniper starts to cry. But, even though I failed miserably, Kim comes to my rescue. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
7 min listen
Parenting is madness -- here's how to calm it down: Parenting is hard. Often times our emotions take over and we resort to punishment right there in the moment because that's what we've been conditioned to do. But there is another way -- it starts with the objective. Today, we align on the objectives for raising children. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
11 min listen
How to teach kids to stay true to their word: 4yo was playing on her iPad and said she would work on it until Chapter 10. Chapter 10 hits, and of course, she asks, "Can I go to Chapter 11?" Today, we explore how to turn this into an opportunity to teach about the importance of staying true to your word. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
11 min listen
An unhappy wife is an indictment on the man: Explore the dynamics of marital happiness and a man's role in setting the family tone. If a wife is unhappy, it may reflect the husband's leadership. Discuss the importance of leading with purpose, setting expectations, and mutual responsibility in relationships. Join us! ?? by Dad Smarter Not Harder
7 min listen
Don't tell your children what to do: Explore storytelling as a powerful parenting tool, inspired by "Hunt, Gather, Parent." Learn why direct instructions may fail, the allure of stories, and how to use tales for teaching. Transform homes where stories bridge understanding & growth. Join us! ?? by Dad Smarter Not Harder
4 min listen
Boredom is essential for your kids: In a world where kids are always entertained, we explore the value of boredom in child development. Learn why boredom sparks creativity ?, the pitfalls of constant entertainment, and how to promote independent thinking. Equip kids to let their imaginations fly! ? Join us! by Dad Smarter Not Harder
4 min listen
Prepare the child for the road: Explore the importance of teaching kids self-control, using video games as an example. Instead of strict bans, promote self-regulation. This guide offers tips to foster resilience & responsible decision-making in children. Equip them for life's challenges & nurture independent growth. Tune in! by Dad Smarter Not Harder
5 min listen
Don't love your children the same way: Each child is unique, and one parenting blueprint doesn't fit all. Dive into real-world strategies to love each child in their special way. Challenge norms and discover how to nurture individuality. Ready to adapt and thrive in parenting? Tune in! by Dad Smarter Not Harder
4 min listen

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Turn a spousal fight into a positive: When household challenges arise, like a child's accident, tensions can flare. In this video, I recount a time my wife was overwhelmed with frustration. Instead of escalating, I cleaned up and involved our daughter in the process. This taught responsibility and showed her she's part of the solution. Learn how to transform conflicts into growth moments. It's about how we respond, not the mistakes made. Watch now! by Dad Smarter Not Harder
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The GrACE Framework for Parenting: Parenting in the digital age requires the right tools and mindset to nurture resilient, empathetic, and confident children. The GrACE Framework emphasizes: G - Growth Mindset: Encourage continuous learning and seeing challenges as growth opportunities. r - Responsibility: Teach the value of hard work through household involvement. A - Autonomy: Promote independence and self-reliance. C - Confidence: Instill self-worth, teaching kids to find internal validation. E - Empathy: Foster understanding and respect for others' feelings. Explore the GrACE Framework to raise well-rounded children. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
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How to insult your kids: Discussing a recent incident with Cardi B, we explore handling haters & criticism. Learn a technique I've taught my kids: responding to negativity with a calm "Ok thanks", showing maturity & not giving haters satisfaction. Rise above & show words don't define you. Watch on! ?? by Dad Smarter Not Harder
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Boredom is essential for your kids: In a world where kids are always entertained, we explore the value of boredom in child development. Learn why boredom sparks creativity ?, the pitfalls of constant entertainment, and how to promote independent thinking. Equip kids to let their imaginations fly! ? Join us! by Dad Smarter Not Harder
4 min listen
An unhappy wife is an indictment on the man: Explore the dynamics of marital happiness and a man's role in setting the family tone. If a wife is unhappy, it may reflect the husband's leadership. Discuss the importance of leading with purpose, setting expectations, and mutual responsibility in relationships. Join us! ?? by Dad Smarter Not Harder
7 min listen
Don't tell your children what to do: Explore storytelling as a powerful parenting tool, inspired by "Hunt, Gather, Parent." Learn why direct instructions may fail, the allure of stories, and how to use tales for teaching. Transform homes where stories bridge understanding & growth. Join us! ?? by Dad Smarter Not Harder
4 min listen
Don't help your children get back up: Dive into the art of letting kids face life's challenges, inspired by "How to Raise an Adult." Over-parenting can hinder growth & self-confidence. Key points: empower kids, avoid coddling, & trust their capabilities. Learn to raise resilient adults by sometimes stepping back. Join us! ? by Dad Smarter Not Harder
3 min listen
Don't love your children the same way: Each child is unique, and one parenting blueprint doesn't fit all. Dive into real-world strategies to love each child in their special way. Challenge norms and discover how to nurture individuality. Ready to adapt and thrive in parenting? Tune in! by Dad Smarter Not Harder
4 min listen
Prepare the child for the road: Explore the importance of teaching kids self-control, using video games as an example. Instead of strict bans, promote self-regulation. This guide offers tips to foster resilience & responsible decision-making in children. Equip them for life's challenges & nurture independent growth. Tune in! by Dad Smarter Not Harder
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Beautiful oops: Kimbal messes up Juniper's drawing. I respond in the worst way possible and Juniper starts to cry. But, even though I failed miserably, Kim comes to my rescue. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
7 min listen
Give your children a smartphone: Is it better to prevent phone use in your household or teach your children how to control the phone use? by Dad Smarter Not Harder
10 min listen
Give children the benefit of the doubt - Michaeleen Doucleff: Michaeleen Doucleff, Author of Hunt, Gather, Parent, tells us the story of the time her 6yo grabbed the fine champagne glasses and Michaeleen wanted to respond in anger, "Hey, put those back! You're going to break them." But instead, she gave her child the benefit of the doubt. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
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How to teach kids to stay true to their word: 4yo was playing on her iPad and said she would work on it until Chapter 10. Chapter 10 hits, and of course, she asks, "Can I go to Chapter 11?" Today, we explore how to turn this into an opportunity to teach about the importance of staying true to your word. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
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Connect: How to stop a meltdown before it happens: I saw it as it was happening -- our 4yo was going to meltdown. But before it happened, I swooped in, connected with her, and then worked it out. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
9 min listen
Stop telling your children what to do. Instead, do this.: A challenge presented itself today. I could easily tell my children what to do and drag them through it kicking and screaming. But there must be a better way. Today we explore how we can help a child identify a challenge and walk them through solving it. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
9 min listen
Parenting fail: My anger got the better of me and how to overcome it next time: 4yo didn't want to go to school today. Because we practice the first principle mindset at home, 4yo can make her own decision about going to school, we just need to do a good job at guiding and teaching her. But ultimately, challenges arise and I let my anger get the better of me. Here's what you and I can do better next time. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
13 min listen
How to get your kids to happily eat their broccoli: How do you get your kids to eat healthy? Do you use rewards, "Eat your broccoli and you'll get dessert."? Do you use punishment, "Eat your zucchini or no tv tonight."? On today's episode, I teach you a method that actually works and that builds intrinsic motivation so that they'll eat their broccoli even when you're not there. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
9 min listen
Parenting win: The patience to explain EVERYTHING: At bedtime tonight, I was reading a book to Kimbal and Kim, when Juniper, angrily, stomps into the bedroom and yanks the book out of my hands. I was shocked. What would you do in this situation? I can tell you, I naturally wanted to get angry and punish Juniper. But would that have accomplished? Instead, I take a deep breath, and accept this situation as a learning opportunity. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
10 min listen
The girl who lost all of her fingers: Juniper won't stop sucking her fingers -- and they're getting very irritated. I try to use sticks, "stop sucking your fingers or else!" or carrots, "stop sucking your fingers and you'll get to watch TV," but nothing is working as a permanent solution. What do you do when your child won't listen do you? It's time for some storytelling, but nothing like you've ever heard before. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
11 min listen
Don't argue. Call it a challenge and solve it together.: We have a challenge this morning. Juniper wants to go to the zoo, but for many, many reasons, we can't go today. I have to try to get her to want to go to the museum, but how do I do it -- especially when she's fixated on the zoo? by Dad Smarter Not Harder
8 min listen
What to do when siblings are developing a rivalry: I thought I had it all figured out. Juniper and Kimbal had been working well for months: sharing food, sharing toys, holding hands, but all of a sudden, something has changed. Juniper is acting out -- throwing things, yelling, kicking, screaming. It's the rivalry -- the sibling rivalry. And somehow, I need to help Juniper and Kimbal thrive together. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
12 min listen
How to pull off inception on your child: How can you get your child to do what you want them to do without telling them to do it? Let's become Leonardo DiCaprio for the day and learn how to pull off inception on your kids. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
7 min listen
How to measure if your kids actually listen to you: I feel like everyday I proactively try to teach my children something new, but I often wonder, is everything I'm telling them going in one ear and out the other? In this episode, we explore a way to measure if your teachings are sticking with your kids. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
15 min listen
How to teach kids intrinsic motivation with Dave Lee on Parenting: If you weren't there to tell them to do it, would your kids eat their vegetables, brush their teeth, or clean their room? Today, Dave Lee teaches us how to instill intrinsic motivation in our kids so that we can stop policing them and instead enjoy them. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
57 min listen
Sharing is caring -- or is it? What should you do when siblings won't share?: Kimbal wants to play with a puzzle box, but Juniper takes it from her. Instead of punishing Juniper or taking it away from her, I use it as an opportunity to teach empathy and eventually sharing. by Dad Smarter Not Harder
12 min listen
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36 min listen
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Parenting is madness -- here's how to calm it down

Parenting is madness -- here's how to calm it down

Description

Titles in the series (34)

More Episodes from Dad Smarter Not Harder

Related podcast episodes