In episode 79 of The Relationship Maze we talk about the importance of gratitude and appreciation. How often do you actively stop and notice the things in life that make you feel good - a friendly exchange with the postwoman, fresh green leaves on the trees outside your house or a hug by your partner? How often do you let others, including your partner, know that you like what they said or did for you? Feeling gratitude and expressing appreciation are important in relationships as well as other walks of live. Research shows that focusing on those aspects of life that fill you with gratitude improves your overall wellbeing as well as your mental health. We are hard wired with a bias towards negative experiences.  Therefore focusing on positive experiences or those that we consider to be pleasurable requires some practice. People who regularly and continuously count their blessings are shown to lead happier lives and are less likely to experience depression.While we do not want to diminish or belittle the challenges that you might face in your present life or that still echo from your past, we would like to highlight that in parallel to addressing these difficulties (e.g. through counselling), there is room to focus specifically on the little things in life that provide you with pleasurable experiences.Equally, if you have had pleasurable experiences with your partner do you let them know? How often do you tell your partner or other people in your life that you appreciate their presence, support, love or kindness?Both, gratitude and appreciation, contribute significantly to building and maintaining a health relationship where both partners feel noticed, appreciated and valued.