It's interesting to be out of control. When I say that I refer to the part of me that was afraid. Afraid of being judged, afraid of what others would say, afraid of failing, afraid of sounding stupid and looking stupid, afraid of making mistakes. I was such a perfectionist that I wouldn't allow myself to fully live so I don't have to fail. Can you imagine the pain? It seems that everyone is so freed up, right? Like how are they doing it? How did they get over the stage freight? Now I get to live and be who I am and don't care if I am being judged because I don't want to self-distruct anymore. It seemed that I had to first experience some of that before I could grow more into myself. now playing "Tunnel" by The Dining Rooms, as I am writing this. :-) Go listen.