Greg and Patrick discuss Principal Components Analysis: what it is, what it absolutely isn't, and what kind of cool things it can do in its own right. Along the way, they discuss Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, the division symbol, Spider Pig, croissants & skewers, doing a nickel in the big house, jumping the starter solenoid, Ptolemy the Weenie, two fingers of whiskey, embracing the "but", the sexual lubricant data base, stylometry, bitcoin forensics, and bad Yelp reviews.