Greg and Patrick embark on a free-ranging discussion of many of the things no one bothers to tell you when entering academia, some that were particularly (and often pleasantly) surprising. They also talk about learning to fly, parenting, Richard Russo, Bayesian personality, Craisins, just noticeable differences, crayon giraffes, academic mulligans, final_final_final drafts, dead birds, Britney Spears, volitional reinvention, unconditional atta'boys, and the academic Pez dispenser.