In this episode of Quantitude, Patrick and Greg draw on their 50+ years of combined experience to offer what is clearly questionable advice for graduate students. They begin with a discussion of a recent survey of the best and worst ranked jobs possible (spoiler alert: don't be a taxi-driving logger on your newspaper reporter beat). They then proceed to discuss challenges facing graduate students today and provide some advice that might help along the way. During their discussion they also mention warm lemon-lime Snapple, Agatha Christie, the McDonald's thinking chair, hitting ideas with a shovel, moving the goal posts, mentoring by MANOVA, badging, and using strings of long words they obviously Googled.