THAT’S NOT MY NAAAAAAAAME!!! But now it’s time for the episode, acording to RUDE DUDES!! 

The first musical episode of Riverdale... Such a beautiful thing. And what a msuical to pick!! Kevin is a mad man director, getting Phantom of the Opera’d and REFUSING to cow down! Jughead’s there to capture all of this for what is PROBABLY going to be a Making a Murderer style true crime series! But forget about that, time for some DRAM set to MUSIC!! Betty and Ron are FIGHTING, because Ron’s a BAD FRIEND!! And Archie feels bad that his mob dad is bribing him with a new car (and the puma unleashes, with a WICKED idea!!) Also, Cheryl’s out of converstion therapy and she’s ready to BURN THIS SCHOOL DOWN!! Also, Alice being in this musical will never not be insane! 
Will Cheryl get recast? What will happen to B&V?! WILL ARCHIE EVER TRUELY REALIZE THAT HIRAM IS MANIPULATING HIM?! Yes, unfortunately; they make up and it SUCKED; and slowly...
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