Episode 357 – Practice Saying No   Today we have Jenn.  She is 34, from Michigan, and took her last drink on April 10, 2020.   Registration is now open for Restore which begins January 1,2022.   https://www.recoveryelevator.com/restore/.  AF Ukulele course starts 2/5/22 at 3 PM EST. https://www.recoveryelevator.com/ukulele/   Highlights from Paul   Paul talks about the parameters for success.  There’s an unhealthy paradigm in the sobriety world that it’s all a bust if we drink once. While continuous sobriety is the ultimate goal,  getting there is never pretty, and most likely is launched off a series of relapses or field research.  If you are drinking less than you did last holiday season, that’s a huge improvement.    This week’s tips from Paul include:  1) say no, 2) practice saying no, 3) create your own pep talk.   Sometimes the desire to stop drinking only swirls in our thoughts.  Don’t underestimate the power of thought.  Our thoughts are powerful.  They create our world.  Immediately discard the thoughts that don’t align with your goals.  Deconstruct them and become aware of thoughts that are not congruent with what you want and need in life.  Use the thinking mind for creation and visualization.  Visualize that you no longer drink.  Repeat it, say it out loud and repeat it again.  What you put in is what you get back.   https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/   Exact Nature exactnature.com Code:  RE20                                                                               [12;43] Jenn took her last drink April 10, 2020.  She has a husband, two children and loves hiking, being in nature and spending time with her family.    Jenn said from her first sip of alcohol she felt some inner peace.  Her first black out was at age 14.  She started off with a bang and got in plenty of trouble.  She experienced some trauma and started to use alcohol as her coping mechanism. She had suicidal ideations and started cutting.  She drank a 5th a night.  Before she turned 21, she added cocaine.    She was a functioning alcoholic through her twenties and early thirties.  In her thirties, her drinking took on a dark shift.  She was suicidal and she knew that she had to save herself and get some help.  Jenn had to be brutally honest with herself.  She was asking the wrong people for help.  Her internal and external worlds were completely opposed.    Jenn had multiple attempts at sobriety.  She worked with a therapist for two years and real change began.  The accountability of Café RE reinforced her commitment to sobriety.  She is now a recovery coach.    Odette’s Summary Odette reminds us that change starts with us.  If you are waiting for things to change, for people to change, for life to change, you may be waiting for a long time. Recovery is our responsibility. Everything that we wish to see in others needs to start with us. Be the person you wish everyone around you was and see how life can change.   “I really think the secret to being loved is to love. And the secret to being interesting is being interested. And the secret to having a friend is being a friend.”   Sponsor: Exact Nature exactnature.com  Code:  RE20   Holiday 2021 AF Survival Guide   Stock up on your favorite AF beverages or another type of treat. Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy. Develop a detailed craving game plan. FOMO to JOMO - Pick an upcoming event and sit it out. Select a Holiday Theme Song. Pick your Thanksgiving beverage of choice and enjoy One minute of intense mindfulness Sticky Note - Write a reminder, affirmation, or goal on a sticky note and place it somewhere where you’ll see it each day Have a fun escape plan Offer to do the dishes Study your why’s Rest Uno reverse card Remind yourself you are safe Play the tape forward Treat yourself to a gift Take 3 deep breaths   Upcoming events, retreats, and courses: You can find more information about our events   Resources Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive t