When childcare help from your family isn't actually much help

When people seem to think your job is a "hobby": This week Frankie Tortora and Steve Folland have a chat in response to a question from Jo Breeze. Jo is a crowdfunding consultant and writer, she says: “My work makes a genuine contribution to paying the bills in our house. It’s not quite 50/50 but some months it’s pretty close. But when I tell people what I do, I sometimes find there’s an assumption that it’s a hobby that I’ve taken on to keep me busy (HAAA) around children. I feel especially awkward when people tell me about their wife or their friend who’s ‘self-employed like you’ when it turns out what they mean is sells things on eBay sometimes, or similar. How do I assert that actually my job is a ‘real’ job, without doing down the choices of other women?” by Doing It For The Kids

18 min listen

Finding balance between paid work and unpaid business building: This week Frankie Tortora and Steve Folland have a chat in response to a question from Master Galactic Shepherd (AKA anonymous). They say: “Short version: Is it really a good idea to turn down (properly) paid work to carve out time for business building? Long version: 'Successful' freelancers on interviews always say not to get too bogged down in client work and leave plenty of time for websites, blogging, networking etc. But why would you turn down (sensible) money short-term for the promise of something long-term? Is it on the basis that it’ll inevitably mean more money/ better clients/ more passive revenue? Or am I missing something in my delight at being able to pay the mortgage this month?!” by Doing It For The Kids

20 min listen

Saying NO. How to turn down work from 'red flag' clients: This week Frankie Tortora and Steve Folland have a chat in response to a CORKER of a question from 'Detective Harper MacCleod' aka Anonymous. S/he says: “Can we have the 'turning-down work’ conversation? I've reached the stage where I can (to some extent) pick and choose my work. However, I’m a people pleaser and still find it difficult to say no. For argument's sake, let's just say my job involves drawing things. Mostly houses. (But I’m happy to be a ‘detective’ if you insist). Even when you’re desperate for work, let’s face it, there are projects that are more trouble than they’re worth. Even worse, some projects could end up costing you money or be professionally disastrous. I’ll give you a recent scenario. I was speaking to a potential client on the phone and all these red flags were popping up. The project was ultra boring and would eat into my capacity for more interesting projects. The client was awkward, querying t by Doing It For The Kids

21 min listen

Overwhelm! What to do when it all gets a bit much: This week Frankie Tortora and Steve Folland have a chat in response to a question from social media manager Bethany Carter. She says: “How do you deal with overwhelm? Are there some strategies you can recommend other than taking time off? I am a self-employed social media manager and I also have a side project sharing sensory and messy play ideas for babies and toddlers (Pumpkin Play). I am Mum to an almost 2 year-old who is in childcare 2.5 days a week, and I catch up on work most evenings until around midnight once he's in bed. I love what I do and I don't want to change it, but sometimes I feel like I really need a break and it's more stressful to take one than to plough on through. Being a social media manager makes taking holidays reeeeeeeally challenging, and when I do take time off I always end up having even more work when I return. ALSO whenever I tell my clients I am taking a break, I can guarantee that's when they'll dem by Doing It For The Kids

20 min listen

How to avoid procrastination: This week Frankie Tortora and Steve Folland have a chat in response to a question from copywriter Barney Harsent. He says: "Dear Frankie and Steve, My name is Barney. I am a middle-aged copywriter. So far, so good. Apart from the writing copy bit. Not all of it, of course. The unpaid jobs, favours for friends and surprisingly successful (and lengthy) replies to people I've only met on social media I can manage. Increasingly, however, I find it more difficult to concentrate on the paid work. What tips do you have to avoid procrastination? (I mean, honestly, even this note is longer than it needs to be. I'm a lost cause. *SOBS*) Thanks in advance for your help, Barney (aged 47 and a 1/2)" ••• This episode is supported by the lovely people at Crunch, an online accounting service that supports freelancers, small businesses, and practically anyone who’s self-employed. Quote “DIFTK” to get 10% off their packages. by Doing It For The Kids

19 min listen

When your friends say they love your work but don't actually buy it: This week Frankie Tortora and Steve Folland have a chat in response to a question from Rachel Brownlow Brown. Rachel is an illustrator and designer. She says: “People I know think I'm doing really well with my business because they see me building the business online, but actually I'm not bringing in much money yet (I'm currently living off redundancy money from my old job). I feel like they're really supportive with liking and sharing my stuff, but so many people I know have said they love it and want to buy something but never actually do (apart from my mum who probably has made up the majority of my sales!). So I suppose my question is around how I translate those positive comments into sales? It feels more icky to "sell" to them when I know them, but they are the ones telling me they like it!” by Doing It For The Kids

20 min listen

Trying to work when the kids are sick (again): This week Frankie Tortora and Steve Folland have a chat in response to a question from Michelle Kondrich. Michelle is an illustrator and podcaster, she says: “So many sick days!! Our girl was sick over the weekend... seemed better so she went to school on Monday... but we picked her up early so she could rest more. Then more vomit and home on Tuesday all day. And then picked up early on Wednesday after things moved south. Here's a question for the podcast, what do you do with a sick kid when you have loads of work and your partner can't be home to help? Ours watched a lot of TV since she had zero energy but I felt terrible about it. Oh yeah and a follow-up: isn't the guilt associated with parenting SO FUN?" by Doing It For The Kids

23 min listen

An introductory monologue from Frankie: New podcasts need trailers apparently. Who knew? by Doing It For The Kids

2 min listen

When your "friend" wants some free business advice and asks to meet in person: This week Frankie Tortora and Steve Folland have a chat in response to a question from Nicola Washington. Nicola is a writer and social media manager, she says: "What do you do about the “friend” who wants some free advice and expects you to take a two hour round trip to meet somewhere “mutually convenient”? My preferred “Mate, people pay me for this shit” might not cut it.” by Doing It For The Kids

20 min listen

When childcare help from your family isn't actually much help: This week Frankie Tortora and Steve Folland have a chat in response to a question submitted anonymously. Let's call the person... Gemma. She says: "If I'd gone back to my librarian job, my M-I-L was going to babysit for a full day every week to ease the financial burden and get baby cuddles in. However, now that I am fully self-employed, she 'pops down to visit' for 2-5 hours every other week, of which 1 hour is lunch that I am expected to cook, and eat with her. It's lovely of course, but it's hardly letting me get any work done.... It's obviously a favour so I struggle with the guilt of pushing it beyond being family time to being work time.” by Doing It For The Kids

20 min listen

How to find focus in a fragmented day: This week Frankie Tortora and Steve Folland have a chat in response to a question from Ross Wintle. Ross is a software developer, he says: “How do you cope with days where you have lots of 'context switches' and can't focus. Like my 'half day' which is: - Get wife + pre-schooler out the house - School run - Off to co-working - Collect pre-schooler - School run (with pre-schooler in tow) - Feed school-kid - Hand pre-schooler to grandma - Take school-kid to swim class - Home for tea It does my head in, and though I have half a day of work in there, I rarely get anything done. The changes drain me so much. I find it exhausting too. Do you have days like that? Do you have tips for getting focus when your day is so fragmented? Do you just avoid planning in "deep work" for those days?” by Doing It For The Kids

20 min listen

How to explain your job to your kids: This week Frankie Tortora and Steve Folland have a chat in response to a question from Laura West, Founder of The Doers. She says: “I went freelance a little over a year ago and soon after launched The Doers — a marketing consultancy powered by freelancers (*ah hum* plug over!) I have 3 young children (almost 4, 2 and 9 months) and struggle to explain to them what I do, why I do it, why I don’t go into an office like Daddy etc. etc. Last week my eldest told someone I work in a cafe (not far from the truth, I love a cafe hop!) and I couldn't find a way to explain to him what I actually do in a way he could understand. Frankie, Steve and the DIFTK community do you have any nuggets of wisdom of how the explain the freelance life to little people in a way they understand and can be proud of what I do? Many many thanks, Laura” by Doing It For The Kids

22 min listen

When you have kids around and need to take a client call: Our very first episode! Wahooo! This week Frankie Tortora and Steve Folland have a chat in response to a question from Jessie Healy. Jessie is a digital marketing strategist, she says: "If you have a client call and your kid is awake, do you try to hide it, move the call, or just be honest about the crazy kid noises?” by Doing It For The Kids

19 min listen

What to do when you have nothing to do: This week Frankie Tortora and Steve Folland have a chat in response to a question from Lyndsey Yates. Lyndsey is a graphic designer and founder of Nine Dots Creative, she says: “Today, after a crackers boombackers (my phrase, I just made that up) week, I have nothing to do. Well, nothing pressing anyway. So far I've spent 2 hours faffing about on my laptop (AKA browsing Facebook and looking on eBay). Now the guilt is starting to set in that I'm not being productive enough. I would actually LIKE to do something with my day — it's not all fuelled by guilt — but I think I’m actually now paralysed by possibility. All the things I've been meaning to get round to are just swimming around my head! Tell me fellow DIFTKers, how do you deal with these days? I feel like I've been cycling down a hill really fast and I've stopped too quickly and gone over the handlebars.” by Doing It For The Kids

20 min listen

Staying visible over the summer holidays: This week Frankie Tortora and Steve Folland have a chat in response to a question from Ben O'Brien. Ben is an illustrator, he says: “HOLIDAYS! Have you got any tips on how to get work done through the school holidays. I work from home and my wife (although self-employed) works elsewhere so it comes down to me more often to be with our son. 2 years ago I just couldn't get through the summer holiday, I managed to work on commissions I had, but I had no time for self-promotion, maintaining client relationships, updating my portfolio etc so by the end of the holidays commissions were drying up. It felt like I ran my business into the ground a bit and it's been uphill ever since. Every school holiday or half-term means another dip in my business. There's always a few playdates and summer camp days, plus my wife tries to take days off when possible, but it's never quite enough. So, with the next Summer holiday coming up, do you have any tips at a by Doing It For The Kids

21 min listen

How to eat something other than biscuits: This week Frankie Tortora and Steve Folland have a chat in response to a question from Holly Smith. Holly is a celebrant and coach, she says: "Food! I know I struggle to eat well during the week because if it's a toss-up between work and tidying up, and feeding myself something more than biscuits, then the latter never takes priority. How can I fit proper, nourishing meals into my life when I’m so pressed for time?” by Doing It For The Kids

20 min listen

When it's time to put your rates up: This week Frankie Tortora and Steve Folland have a chat in response to a question from Detective Joe Wolf (i.e. anonymous). 'She' says: “As we hurtle towards the start of a new year, I'd really like to know how best to word a 'I'm raising my prices' email. Having done some competitor research, I'm definitely undercharging some of my customers. I know I did it initially because of imposter syndrome but now we have a good, ongoing relationship I think it’s about time I started to feel like I'm being paid for my years of experience. Do you need to say why you’re raising your prices? Do you need to offer a reduced rate for current customers? How do you do it without being apologetic?" by Doing It For The Kids

20 min listen

Juggling kids and a multi-hyphen career: This week Frankie Tortora and Steve Folland have a chat in response to a question from stylist, writer and blogger Hannah Bullivant. She says: “I would love your thoughts on the perils/advantages of being a ‘multi-hyphen’ freelancer. Sometimes I think it’s really clever (have different income streams, keeps me interested and engaged) and sometimes I really regret it (such little time and stretched thin! Especially as only have 2 days of childcare!)” by Doing It For The Kids

20 min listen

When you've lost all motivation: "Alright gang. Any top tips for finding motivation when you have none, but desperately need some?? I'm sure I'm not alone in finding that when I most need to get some flippin' work done, I seem to have the least motivation to do it. That precious time, while the kids are occupied, or after they're in bed, and you have a list of things you need to get done... and then bleugh. Not feeling it. List doesn't get done. Feel bad. I know I know, we're all trying our best in a difficult situation, but really I sometimes need to give myself a good kick up the bum. I know there are lots of amazing people in DIFTK who are experts in getting shit done when time is tight — so how do you do it?” by Doing It For The Kids

20 min listen

Taking maternity leave when you have retainer clients: This week Frankie Tortora and Steve Folland have a chat in response to a question from social media manager and copywriter Emma Victoria Stokes. She says: “As a freelancer — how do you take maternity leave with retainer clients still on board? And how long do the majority of freelancers have for maternity leave? I’m thinking about only taking 3 or 4 months ‘off’ as not sure if I’ll cope with financially but also organisationally with retainer clients.” by Doing It For The Kids

20 min listen

How to grow your business when real life has other ideas: This week Frankie Tortora and Steve Folland have a chat in response to a question from Nicky Raby. Nicky is an actor, business and life coach, writer, speaker and podcaster. She says: “Something that’s coming up a lot with my clients at the moment is the idea of Dream Life vs Real Life. How do you continue to expand and grow your business when real life circumstances change? Like, you’ve had a baby (or another baby)? Or you suddenly have to care for an elderly relative? Or something happens in your relationship, and life takes a different turn?” by Doing It For The Kids

21 min listen

School newbies! Adjusting to working within school hours: This week Frankie Tortora and Steve Folland have a chat in response to a question from Jon Richards. Jon runs Obladee, a design studio specialising in branding and identity design. He says: “With our oldest just starting school, I’m wondering how others deal with the change of routine with set drop off and pick up times? Is there any tips or advice of how to adapt to these new work hours from parents that have school kids?” by Doing It For The Kids

20 min listen

Emotional soup! How to keep things clear when work and life all happens under one roof: This week Frankie Tortora and Steve Folland have a chat in response to a question from Janie Skuse. Janie runs a digital marketing business with her husband, she says: "Emotional soup! I work with my husband, both at home. He does full-time hours up in the bedroom/batcave, I look after our 3-year-old full-time and have 2 hours ‘off’ each day while she’s at nursery and evenings to work (ha!). If EVERYTHING happens under one roof, how do you keep things separate/clear?" by Doing It For The Kids

19 min listen

When updating your social media is just one thing too many: This week Frankie Tortora and Steve Folland have a chat in response to a question from detective Barry Steel (aka Anonymous). 'He' says: “What do you do when social media is the absolute bane of your life but you know you should do more of it to promote your business, grow your audience and be seen by your peers?! I had to delete Facebook from my phone to make more space and honestly the only thing I missed was the DIFTK community! I don’t think I can afford to outsource it (which would be the obvious answer) but it sucks my soul away — especially Facebook, but I also get lost in a spiral of ‘instashame’ and angry at politics on Twitter! And you know when you’re a parent and a freelancer and you already have a to-do list that is never ever going to be completed and you feel guilty and lame that you can’t do it all? Well adding ‘keeping social media updated’ to that list is painful. HELP!!! I work in theatre and events so I by Doing It For The Kids

20 min listen

When your partner starts working from home: “I’ve worked from home in one form or another, in both employed and self- employed roles, for five years now. There’s been ups and downs, and I’ve learnt along the way how to manage the work/home balance and what I need to do to keep my wellbeing up (I don’t always follow my advice but at least know the theory by now!). My husband, however, came off furlough last month and is now navigating full time working from home for the first time. I can see him falling foul of many things that I did in the early days of working from home that didn’t create the best balance. So how can we, as experienced work-from-homers, support our other halves/family members to get used to life outside the office? ALSO, how on earth do I get used to having a home office buddy who slurps his tea SO LOUDLY and swears at his computer when the internet drops out, because I am NOT DEALING WELL WITH THAT!!!” by Doing It For The Kids

20 min listen

Life right now: Soooo, we've gone a bit off-piste this week. We sat down to record an episode as normal, but in reality just ended up talking about what's been going on in our lives during the Coronavirus 'Lockdown'. Clearly we needed to get some stuff off our chests! We hope us sharing our frustrations and observations from the past week will help you too. Enjoy. by Doing It For The Kids

19 min listen

Don't panic! Going from one kid to two: This week Frankie Tortora and Steve Folland have a chat in response to a question from Detective Rene Dukes aka Anonymous. 'S/he' says: “Hello Frankie & Steve, You've had an episode for freelancers starting a family, now here's a question about throwing another child into the mix (not literally throwing of course). I remember speaking to a friend of mine a while ago just after their second baby was born. I naively asked them "so I guess the second one must be easier right?" and they replied "yes, sort of, but the problem is now there's two of them". My partner and I are thinking about having another child. Our daughter is three years old, and goes to nursery three days a week. Aside from that, my other half and I juggle childcare between us and our respective work (my other half is employed, I am self-employed). We do want to (are going to) have another child, and NOTHING you could say could convince us otherwise (although, please don't te by Doing It For The Kids

21 min listen

When you try (and fail) to 'have it all': This week Frankie Tortora and Steve Folland have a chat in response to a question from freelance content marketer Stephanie Dunn. She says: “I’ve been on maternity leave since October but have recently taken on a couple of one-off projects and am now looking to work on a more ongoing basis. I would like — am trying to — work around looking after my 7-month old daughter: Essentially full-time mum, moonlighting as a content marketer. My husband works away so some weeks he’s here and can take her, but some weeks I don’t have childcare. Grandparents aren’t on our doorstep but can step in if I really need to go out for a meeting or something. Up until the last month, she slept really well, went down easily and slept through the night so I would work in the evenings for a couple of hours. Now though, she can take hours to go to sleep and wakes up in the night so it’s messing with our routine a little! I’ve tried to do some work in the day whil by Doing It For The Kids

19 min listen

When you've just left your job to go freelance, in the middle of a global crisis. Eek!: “So. I built my photography business up for 2.5 years alongside my day job, got it to the point I could resign. Yay. And I finish that day job next Thursday. Eek! The photography diary already got cancelled or postponed and after crying about it for about 2 solid weeks, I picked myself up and wrote an online course on smartphone photography. Which people have actually bought. Hurrah! Obviously I’m right proper chuffed about this (I’m from Yorkshire and you’ll need to say this in a Yorkshire accent!) but my question to you is around pivoting my business and how to market this extra string I’ve added to my bow, whilst still making it really clear that photographing weddings and families is what I do and want to be doing when this extraordinary time is over! I have A LOT of ideas but I’m worried it all looks a bit chaotic and confusing to my customers." by Doing It For The Kids

19 min listen

How to drum up work in a pandemic without being seen as 'opportunistic': “As well as struggling with trying to work with a 6 year old and an 18 month old around — and a lot of my work disappearing over night! — I need help on how to drum up work without sounding opportunistic or seen to be exploiting the situation. Also, what’s the etiquette on mentioning that working with you means supporting a small business at a time when we've been really badly hit and not eligible for government support? I don't want to sound like I'm begging, particularly with charities whose service users are likely to be badly affected (much much worse than me in many cases) but I also need to feed my kids and pay the mortgage!” by Doing It For The Kids

20 min listen

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When childcare help from your family isn't actually much help

When childcare help from your family isn't actually much help

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