Hailed as “part football coach, part loving dad, and part slightly crazed drill sergeant” Robert Kandell has spent the last sixteen years helping people re-energize their lives and build better relationships through more honest and authentic connection. In 2004, he co-founded OneTaste and took on the challenging task of bringing conscious sexuality to the mainstream market. He built the company from scratch to a high seven-figure international corporation. He left OneTaste in 2014 to start his own Consulting firm helping small businesses become marketable and profitable. Robert is also an accomplished teacher, coach, and lecturer. He brings his enthusiasm and acumen to his weekly podcast, Tuff Love, on subjects around relationships, intimacy, communication and gender dynamics.
Contact Info
Website: www.TuffLove.live
Podcast: Tuff Love
Most Influential Person
My students and my children.
Effect on Emotions
Mindfulness has affected my emotions ... I have them now. Growing up, emotions were secondary. Mindfulness has connected me to my emotions. Emotions are my power. They are my superpower actually, because then I can feel and notice other people.
Thoughts on Breathing
I've done a lot of sitting meditation in my life and knowing the power breath, also Yoga and the 'suffering' in a hot Yoga class. Ok, find your breath.
My ability to pay attention to my breath, connect me to my body and I can slow down and adjust and find the optimal pose.
Suggested Resources
Book: The Hero With A Thousand Faces By Joseph Campbell
App: Insight Timer
Bullying Story
I have so many bullying stories. Bullying is something I'm very familiar with. I mentioned I was an overweight kid growing up and I was bullied by my school mates. The bullying ended when I was fourteen or fifteen. Really from ten to fifteen year old, I was bullied.
My middle name is Barry and they would call me Barrier  and they would taunt me. For whatever reason kids bully, there was some thing that happened which made me the object of their bullying.
In retrospect and in talking to a lot of people who were bullied, and a lot of bullies out there in the world, the main reason they did that was fear and their own lack of disconnection. My opinion is that bullying happened because bullies feel disconnected from their parents, from themselves, and there's some pain in there that needs to be expressed.
What they choose is to bully another kid rather than address their own pain. Mindfulness would be for the parents to notice that about their kids. Or even the Principal or school Councils, to notice that about kids and just sit with the bully and not shame them for being a bully. Not shame them for what they do, but get curious and wonder and question and allow that space for that bully kid to be seen and loved and approved of.
I think that is the cure for bullying; when we give someone space to speak and relieve their own pain.