Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said: Wit and Wisdom from America's Finest
By Dan Caddy
4/5
()
About this ebook
The official tie-in book to the wildly popular Facebook page, featuring brand-new crazy, off-the-wall, outrageously funny, and downright “awesome” pearls of wisdom from real-life drill sergeants and instructors from all branches of the military.
Sweat dries. Blood clots. Bones heal. Suck it up, buttercup.
After his deployment in Afghanistan, Dan Caddy began swapping great drill sergeant stories by e-mail with other combat veterans—an exchange with friends that would grow into the dedicated Facebook page, “Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said.” But what began as a comedic outlet has evolved into a robust online community and support network that conducts fundraisers for and donates to military charities, has helped veterans struggling with PTSD and other issues, and on numerous occasions, literally saved lives.
Now, Caddy shares more great DS stories—most never before seen—in this humorous collection. Often profane, sometimes profound, yet always entertaining, these rants from real life soldiers are interspersed with lively sidebars, Top 10 lists, stories from fans, one-liners, and more.
For anyone who has suffered a hard-ass manager (in uniform or not), Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said will add a much needed dose of humor to the day.
Dan Caddy
Dan Caddy is a former marketing professional and veteran of Operation Enduring Freedom. He is the founder of the Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said Facebook page. The Facebook page now has more than ten individuals on staff, including many current and former drill sergeants. Dan is the president and founder of Battle in Distress Inc., a nonprofit devoted to helping service members in crisis. He lives in Vermont and continues to serve in the military.
Related to Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said
Related ebooks
First Generation Father: How to Build a Healthy and Happy Home When You Come From a Broken One Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWarrior Entrepreneur - Lessons From The Battlefield To The Boardroom Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFirst Man In: Leading from the Front Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Scars and Stripes: An Unapologetically American Story of Fighting the Taliban, UFC Warriors, and Myself Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Written Perceptions Spoken Truths Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGym Shorts: 10 Lessons I Learned on the Fitness Floor Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMentors Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsJuggling Wisdom Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThin Blue Line Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSmall Important Things: Spiritual Fiction for the Emerging Man Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPoppy Fields, Prime Ministers, Poker and PTSD – A Life No Less Ordinary Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDarker Shades of the VA Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWith Dreams All Things Are Possible Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCivilian Combat The Concealed Carry Book Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBrutal Justice: Your Guide to Being a Violent Vigilante, Crime-Fighting Superhero Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe 52 Corporate Caveats: How to Cover Your Ass in Corporate America Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAmazement: Reclaiming the Brilliance of Wonder Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCall Me Chef, Dammit!: A Veteran’s Journey from the Rural South to the White House Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Least of Us: How Your Imposter Syndrome Points To Your Greatest Power Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMartial Arts: Behind the Myths: The Martial Arts and Self Defense Secrets You Need to Know! Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe SHOW IT LOVE Workout Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Nice Guy's Field Guide To Energy Vampires Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSurviving the Oral Interview: Boot Camp for the Mind Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsInto the Storm Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhen Loving Him Is Hurting You: Hope and Help for Women Dealing With Narcissism and Emotional Abuse Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Power of Pussy Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5ChironTraining Volume 4: 2008 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsI, The Empowered: Recognizing & Releasing The Traits Of Greatness Within You Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRedefining Beautiful: What God Sees When God Sees You Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Inner Child Healing: Heal Your Wounds. Train Your Mind. Create A New You. Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Humor & Satire For You
Mindful As F*ck: 100 Simple Exercises to Let That Sh*t Go! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Best Joke Book (Period): Hundreds of the Funniest, Silliest, Most Ridiculous Jokes Ever Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5101 Fun Personality Quizzes: Who Are You . . . Really?! Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Sex Hacks: Over 100 Tricks, Shortcuts, and Secrets to Set Your Sex Life on Fire Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 2,320 Funniest Quotes: The Most Hilarious Quips and One-Liners from allgreatquotes.com Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Best F*cking Activity Book Ever: Irreverent (and Slightly Vulgar) Activities for Adults Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/51,001 Facts that Will Scare the S#*t Out of You: The Ultimate Bathroom Reader Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Questions for Deep Thinkers: 200+ of the Most Challenging Questions You (Probably) Never Thought to Ask Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Everything I Know About Love: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Nothing to See Here: A Read with Jenna Pick Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Solutions and Other Problems Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Anxious People: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Love and Other Words Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Tidy the F*ck Up: The American Art of Organizing Your Sh*t Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5How to Be Alone: If You Want To, and Even If You Don't Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Killing the Guys Who Killed the Guy Who Killed Lincoln: A Nutty Story About Edwin Booth and Boston Corbett Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I Will Judge You by Your Bookshelf Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: the heartfelt, funny memoir by a New York Times bestselling therapist Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Screwtape Letters Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Shipped Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Soulmate Equation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer and Longer: A Novella Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5In a Holidaze Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5My Favorite Half-Night Stand Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Man Called Ove: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Josh and Hazel's Guide to Not Dating Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Reviews for Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said
16 ratings1 review
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Warning: Do NOT try to read this just before going to sleep! Literal laugh out loud. So much that my cat gave me looks and then tried to nip me to get me to stop. Anyone who has been enlisted in the military can relate, although while colorful, the Navy Company Commanders weren't as colorful as the Drill Sargeant in this collection of priceless gems...
Book preview
Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said - Dan Caddy
DEDICATION
THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED FIRST AND FOREMOST TO ALL CURRENT AND FORMER DRILL SERGEANTS: YOU HAVE SHAPED THE GENERATIONS OF SOLDIERS WHO HAVE SERVED WITH DISTINCTION IN BOTH PEACE AND WAR.
TO MY WIFE, LINDSEY, WHOSE SUPPORT AND UNDERSTANDING DURING THE CRAZY TIMES IS THE ONLY REASON ASMDSS IS STILL GOING AND THIS BOOK EXISTS.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST, TO THE ADMINS AND STAFF WHOSE ASSISTANCE, INSPIRATION, FRIENDSHIP, AND CAMARADERIE MADE THIS BOOK POSSIBLE FROM THE BEGINNING.
CONTENTS
DEDICATION
INTRODUCTION
THE CREEDS
PART ONE: SHARK ATTACK
PART TWO: SINK OR SWIM
PART THREE: LIFE AFTER BASIC
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
RESOURCES
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
CREDITS
COPYRIGHT
ABOUT THE PUBLISHER
INTRODUCTION
Meet your drill sergeant, Private.
Even someone with zero knowledge of the military will see the fatigues and the round brown
campaign hat and instantly know who they are looking at—a sight usually followed by a stab of uneasiness. Brought into the cultural mainstream by R. Lee Ermey in his masterful portrayal of a Marine Corps drill instructor in the film Full Metal Jacket, the drill sergeant is an immediately recognizable and iconic figure. Everyone has an idea in their head of what a drill sergeant is . . . and does. Often that image is focused on fear, aggression, pain, and discipline. And while it’s true that a drill sergeant’s larger-than-life persona and motivational style
may incorporate some, or all, of those panic-inducing, gut-checking, strength-building forces, you might not know one other important thing . . . drill sergeants are some of the FUNNIEST people on the planet!
Those of you who have served in the military will have your own vivid memories of your drill sergeants (and know exactly what I’m talking about). And if you’re anything like me, and the thousands of veterans I’ve talked with over the years, you can probably also speak to the impact that a drill sergeant has on your life after Basic Training has ended. This book, and the Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said Facebook page that spawned it, collect the very best quotes, stories, lists, words of wisdom—and maybe a few insults—from America’s finest drill sergeants. While they may not be there to uplift your spirits or compliment your wardrobe, drill sergeants have honed their ability to transform young men and women into professional disciplined warriors—and maybe have a good laugh (at you) while they do it.
THE DRILL SERGEANT CREED
I am a drill sergeant
I will assist each individual in their efforts to become a highly motivated, well disciplined, physically and mentally fit soldier, capable of defeating any enemy on today’s modern battlefield.
I will instill pride in all I train. Pride in self, in the Army, and in country.
I will insist that each soldier meets and maintains the Army standards of military bearing and courtesy, consistent with the highest traditions of the U.S. Army.
I will lead by example, never requiring a soldier to attempt any task I would not do myself.
But first, last, and always, I am an American soldier. Sworn to defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, both foreign and domestic.
I am a drill sergeant.
THE SOLDIER’S CREED
I am an American soldier.
I am a warrior and a member of a team.
I serve the people of the United States, and live the Army values.
I will always place the mission first.
I will never accept defeat.
I will never quit.
I will never leave a fallen comrade.
I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough, trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills.
I always maintain my arms, my equipment, and myself.
I am an expert and