Dad, You're Not Funny and other Poems: An Alphabet of Poems
By Steve Turner and David Mostyn
()
About this ebook
Have you ever formed a secret club with friends? Or witnessed the flight of a cow?
Have you ever heard a duck whistle? You haven't? Then read this book now.
As always, Steve Turner's poems present a fresh and quirky view on life. Many of the poems in this collection are about childhood: school and holidays, dreams and monsters, food, friends...
This collection of over seventy poems will entertain and interest children both in the classroom and at home. The themes and ideas are thought-provoking as well as witty and fun, and the entertaining cartoons reflect the mood of the poems.
Steve Turner is the award-winning author of the best-selling poetry collection The Day I Fell Down the Toilet.
Steve Turner
Steve Turnerbegan his journalistic career as Features Editor of the British rock monthly Beat Instrumental . He has written many music biographies, including Conversations with Eric Clapton , Rattle and Hum (U2), and A Hard Day's Write (the Beatles).
Read more from Steve Turner
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Book preview
Dad, You're Not Funny and other Poems - Steve Turner
Other books by Steve Turner:
The Day I Fell Down the Toilet and Other Poems
Don’t Take Your Elephant to School: An Alphabet of Poems
Ten Silly Santas and Other Christmas Poems
For Paul Crankshaw,
my companion on so many
childhood escapades
Contents
Introduction
FAMILY AND FRIENDS
The Best Dad
Dad, You’re Not Funny
Cranky, Scotty, Mooey and Me
Sue Was Two
Ten things Mums Never Say
When Grandad Comes to Stay
Kisses
Shopping with Mum
Best Friends
FUN AND GAMES
The Flying Wheel
Pocket Money
Mud
Digging a Hole
Travel Game
The Monarch
Knocking on Doors
Countdown
The Fair
Tread on a Crack and You Marry a Rat…
Alphabet
You’re It!
ROADS AND PLACES
Secrets
Haunted House
In Our Garden
Jubilee Road
Heaven
Cathedral
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
The Queen of May
Rag and Bone Man
Cowboy
The Teacher’s Gift
Snogging
Teddy Boy
Stinker
Miss Hart
Bobby
NEWS AND WEATHER
Whether the Weather
Christmas
New Year’s Resolution
It’s Fun to Have a Fever
Fire!
PC Buttle
In My Day
Get Off
New Shoes
December 19th
Birth
BODY AND SPIRIT
Who Am I?
The Skull
Hair and Teeth and Face and Hands
Gingerbread Man
Food
Elbows
With My Hands
Ghost Story
Ode to a Nose
Backwards
ANIMALS AND INSECTS
The Spider’s Excuse
Miss Muffett
Hey Diddle Diddle
Hickory Digital Clock
Cat
Limerick
A Dog Called Nothing
THOUGHTS AND DREAMS
What Did You Want to Be When You Grew up?
That Little Word
The Wheel
Why Are You Late for School?
I Want to Be
The Future
Introduction
Welcome to my book of poetry. I hope that you’ll enjoy it. The title comes from something my son, Nathan, says when I make jokes – especially when I try to make him laugh in front of his friends, and even more especially if I try to make his friends laugh in front of him.
The first question I get asked when I read my work in schools is – Where do you get your ideas from? So let me explain how I came to write Dad, You’re Not Funny.
A lot of the poems are about when I was young. I wrote them because even though much has changed since then