Hope is A Myth

By Joseph Machaalany

"Eve spent her lifetime writing thousands of letters to her dead brother, thinking maybe somehow he's listening to her.

When she turns twenty-two, the secret of him being alive comes out after keeping it hidden from her by her parents since she was two.

Questions start to hit her, why did her parents hide the truth?

When Eve de

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ukiyoto Publishing
• Release date: Mar 23, 2023
• ISBN: 9789360495145

Book preview

Part I:We Got Here

A Single Child Until…

"E

veryone here, please welcome miss Eve Holdland".

The clapping sound digs into my ears as my whole body shatters.

  Hey My voice barely comes out.

One breath.

Two.

Three.

I approach the microphone closely to my mouth, hoping some words would come out.

  I'm Eve Holdland, a single child... actually I wasn't a single child until... until I lost my brother when he was 5 months old, he is not dead… I still don't know about that

Everyone is staring at me, in an ironic way.

I stop for a second and take a deep breath hoping that firmness would take control over me.

  My brother Adam Holdland got kidnapped 20 years ago, I need to find him, if there is any small thing that could lead me to him, I will take the chance, my message is to everyone hearing this, if you have anything to say or you've heard a name like this one before, please reach out to me. It might seem foolish to look for him now but I'm not giving up until I find him. Thank you

This might be one of the worst speeches you've ever heard, but I had to do it, I actually had no idea what to say and I didn't get anything ready. I grew up thinking my brother is dead, I've never even thought of the idea of him being alive.

But what's better than the truth? Maybe not this time.

My parents lied to me, and I don't remember anything about him being kidnapped because I was 2 years old back then. They confronted me with the truth when I turned 22, because the older I got, the more I questioned about my brother.

I'm actually mad, I'm mad that my parents lost hope and didn't do anything about it… maybe they did, but how can someone give up on their son? What if he was alive and breathing?

  Do you think this is really helpful? My bestfriend Elizabeth asks me as she puts her right hand on my shoulder.

  I'm trying Elizabeth, and I'm sure if he is somewhere out there I will find him.

I don't even have credence in my words, but sometimes convincing yourself is a better choice.

September 16

A

day has passed since I shared my speech and nobody has reached out to me yet, I should've known that it would be futile to do it, no one actually cares about a child who had been kidnapped 20 years ago, this is useless.

  Charlie: Are you ready?

An SMS ringtone stops my thoughts from thriving.

God, Today is our second anniversary and we have a day planned. I am having a hard time remembering things today.

  You: I need some more time, will be ready in an hour.

I sent this message not knowing if an hour is enough to hold my dramatic empathy.

Charlie is my partner.

He strengthens me whenever I fear the righteous.

We made a vow that none of us should go through something by  oneself. He has saved my life way too many times. I'm forever grateful for this man, if forever even exists.

I ran downstairs after I've missed 3 calls from Charlie already, thinking of a way to apologize for this muddy day.

I don't want him to think what isn't veracious, over-thinking could lead to that. It's just my head, it has been full of thoughts and deteriorating voices. I already start apologizing as I get into the car, he stops me with a kiss. My body floats, it feels like my heart is drumming.

He looks at me as he covers my shoulders with his arms.

  Don't be sorry, we have a great day to spend. He says.

God...this man…

-

  Thank you for today. I say as I take his hands with mine.

  I love you Eve. Charlie whispers.

Today was mesmerizing, we ended the day with a dinner at my dad's restaurant where Charlie surprised me with a cake and a gift, it was a necklace.

Today made me realize how much I admire this man. Something about the way he loves me buries all of my hazy thoughts in a tomb full of fire. Is it too much control?

  Your phone is ringing. Charlie cuts off my thoughts with his voice.

Random number.

My breath starts to slowly disappear.

  Do you think it's something relevant to Adam? I ask.

  Let's see.

  Hello big sister, or should I call you just Eve? A breathy, earsplitting voice comes out.

  Hey? I answer.

  I've been waiting my entire life for you, thinking maybe one day you'd know the truth, and here you are lost in your fantasies of your dead brother, I'm not dead, I'm here alive and breathing.

I don't answer.

My hands start to shake.

I have no idea what to say or what to answer. Words have left me.

It takes me a while to realize that he is using a voice changer. But I never thought I'd hear my brother speaking.

  Adam? Where are you? My mind doesn't get what I am asking.

  I am everywhere, I can't tell if you really want to find me or you are as pathetic as your parents.

Call ended.

I grab Charlie's hand hoping it would stop me from shaking.

Pathetic as my parents?

He has been waiting for me?

He is everywhere?

My voice barely comes out as I try to say something to Charlie, I've never seen him that troubled ever.

  What's wrong, Eve, talk to me? He re-asks the same question 4 times.

It takes me a few minutes before getting my consciousness back.

I tell him.

He reacts with a numb sense and an angry tone. He starts with the casual way of making someone feel better, but it doesn't help.

  Take me home, please.

I know that saying that might touch him, but I really feel like being alone. My mind is in shambles.

  Fine, but please text me if you need anything.

  I will.

-

  "Eve, I'd like to introduce you to our new agent, I've been feeling really

tired lately and he could help in making things easier at the restaurant" Dad says as he digs the fork into the pasta and spins it around.

I just want to go to my room.

I answer with a forced smile, and head up straight into my room, I'm really above disorganized to meet a useless new agent. I already know that I am going to be hearing some lessons about being altruistic with people tomorrow.

I lay my head on my pillow, usually I feel the best when I do it, but tonight? I feel really dizzy. I start to think of the phone call that took place today. A part of me wishes that this would be a joke because my phone number is public now, and a part of me wishes that this would be true. I want to find him.

I have hope for a better future.

September 24

"N

o, no, don't put it there, please move it a little to the left" Dad's agitated voice comes out, he is currently working on extending the restaurant's design, because he thinks that staying at the same level will never help.

And he is maybe right about it, I've always been this girl Eve Holdland, and I was always scared of change, I still fear it. Though, I thought staying like this would help me, but it never did. I've mistaken too many things, but who defines mistakes anyways?

A week has passed, yet he didn't reach out again. No phone calls. No messages. No fear.

Would I answer if he calls again?

I loathe this.

I graduated this year from my agronomy major. It wasn't that much of an accomplishment since I never wanted it to be my career. But I had no other choices.

Dad suggested I could start my own business, that's why I started working on it for 2 months now. A small business for small agricultural elementary. I let dad handle it. He wants it more than anything. And I have skilled it in the honor of his blissfulness and pride at the first place.

For the record, I haven't seen Charlie since last week.

Life feels kind of vacant.

He has been really busy with his finals, and soon he is graduating with a master degree from physics major. His 23rd birthday is next week. I have this idea of taking him to his favorite band's concert. I bought 2 tickets last year when they announced the tour.

Charlie is not the type of people who enjoy being in company at a public place, but he always sacrifices it for me, and for the favor of our relationship. On the contrary, I take my lack of peace from the absence of people, and I always need their words to feel more pleasant, approved and loved.

Private number: search for me, I am everywhere

I take control over my hand trying not to make it break.

Just like my mind.

I let go of my phone as I scratch my pants with my nails.

I can't help it.

It's a blessing and a curse but does that make it worse?

The truth stops me from draining in my incandescent thoughts.

I shouldn't ignore him.

I should answer.

I should know who this is.

  You: Adam, is that really you?

My doubts take control this time.

Time is passing as my heart is aching.

Who am I supposed to talk to?

18, 19, 20. 20 minutes have passed and he still hasn't answered my question. I typed his number way too many times but I'm just not bold enough to click call.

  Private number: I am here, just look for me, please.

Silence... silence... silence…

A ringtone…

Oh shit it's my phone's ringtone.

It's Charlie, I should answer, my hands are shaking, I should answer.

You missed a voice call from Charlie.

I call him back, but he doesn't answer.

  You: Sorry was a little busy, call me back when you're free

I throw back my mind at Adam's message.

Deep down, I know this is really Adam, but I'm horrified that I might be doing the wrong thing. If he knows that he got kidnapped, why didn't he come back when they set him free?

Or maybe they didn't?

Maybe the phone calls are some sort of a joke?

I decide not to reply.

Today I have to work on some papers for my shop.

The only thing I am trying to make this shop look like is hope. Sounds cliché, but hope was always the reason why I held onto life, and I still have hope for my life, for my career, for my parents, f̸o̸r̸ m̸y̸ b̸r̸o̸t̸h̸e̸r̸.

Charlie hasn't answered yet.

Exams are distancing him. But I am trying to be cool with it, at least until he graduates. Because nothing can make me prouder. And giving him some space in times like this sounds like a good idea. I need it too.

I should meet Elizabeth today at 9, and maybe it would be better if I talked to her about it. She can tell me what to do without any pressure or compulsion.

-

My eyes spark, my voice fades away, my open mouth is the only expression that pops out when I see Elizabeth with her new red hair wearing a red dress.

God, she is so mesmerizing, I've never thought someone could see their bestfriend as a whole new human being.

  You look perfect I tear my hand out her hair.

  When did you dye it? I ask.

She doesn't reply immediately.

  3 days ago, I thought It could help me after the breakup. A moment of silence.

  Break up? My tone is enough to express my immortal shock. She nods.

  Why didn't you tell me anything about it?

  You were really busy with your shop and I didn't really feel like talking about it, he called me late at night telling me that he doesn't think he can do it anymore, his life is fucked up and he needs time for himself. Her shady and broken sound makes my feelings melt.

We talked for