Soulless

By Abbie Rose Gladden

One girl can change the outcome of a war that has been fought for millennia. Ryder must keep his identity a secret and discover who that girl is at the same time. This means working with the enemy he loathes for destroying his family. But when he gets to a small town called Lorna and meets a girl named Ava, he unexpectedly falls in love.Ava is a small-town girl who is perplexed by strange dreams and the mystery of Ryder. When she is asked to leave her family, friends, and the life she's known forever, will she have the courage to do the right thing?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Covenant Books, Inc.
• Release date: Oct 28, 2022
• ISBN: 9798886440249

Book preview

Table of Contents

Title

Copyright

Acknowledgments

Prologue

First Day

At First Glance

New Boy

Deception

Good Friends

Homework

Parents' Day

Traditional Feelings

New Beginnings

Nature

Twins

What Is Love

The Girl outside the World

Problems

Hold Me Tight

Fears

Family and Future

Stars

Changes

Decision

Heartbreak

Guilty

Stitches

Killer Mystery

Traitor

Truth

The Dove and Wolf

Memories

Abilities

The Real Story

Reasons

Elite

The Past

Battle Plans

Battle

Instinct

The Heart

Bad Days

The Boy inside the Man

Have Faith

Tested

Epilogue

About the Author

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Soulless

Abbie Rose Gladden

ISBN 979-8-88644-023-2 (Paperback)

ISBN 979-8-88644-025-6 (Hardcover)

ISBN 979-8-88644-024-9 (Digital)

Copyright © 2022 Abbie Rose Gladden

All rights reserved

First Edition

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Covenant Books

11661 Hwy 707

Murrells Inlet, SC 29576

www.covenantbooks.com

Acknowledgments

My heartfelt thanks to an army of friends and family who helped my dream of publishing Soulless come true: Amy and Karry, my parents who love, support, and motivate me; my little sister, Lydia and my mom for the cover art concept and creation; Whitney and Travis McGruder, long-time friends who helped me navigate the book world; Melanie, my youngest (but mighty) sister; and of course, Kris Kempinski, my publishing assistant, without whom this would just be bytes in a Google doc. Finally, my grandparents, Mark and Paula Fassett, who invested time in proofreading, money in publishing, and unconditional love for my entire life.

Prologue

I pushed past the gates and out into the world. I couldn't believe how easy it was. Normally, we weren't allowed past the gates—at least not in this form. I couldn't take the time to find out why it was so easy. Someone would surely notice I was gone. It wouldn't be long before someone was sent to take me back. Still, I couldn't go back yet. I had to help him. He needed me, now more than ever. He was in pain, in trouble. They had caught him, and they were changing him. A thousand emotions rushed through me as I thought about this: fear, anger, love, grief, hate, and hundreds more I couldn't even name.

I flew past cities with brilliant lights. Any other time, I would have stopped to enjoy the view. Instead, I hurried on to my destination—the barracks inside the chain-link fence out in the middle of nowhere. This place was nothing like the cities I had flown over just moments before. It was dark and uninviting. I paused to listen and feel.

He's here. I can feel him. Ahh! Stop it! I could also hear his cries of pain. They were tearing at my heart. I can't stand it!

I made my way to the darkest building where his presence was strongest. Inside, he lay on a cot writhing in pain. I could see him struggling not to scream. Yet every few seconds, he would fail, and a scream would break through.

In the corner, a guard stood watching him. I stared at him for a few seconds, studying him. His change had already taken place, I could tell. His face was emotionless as he watched the boy on the cot scream and writhe in agony. I knew it was wrong, but I couldn't help hating him. He also frightened me, and I was grateful he couldn't see me.

I turned back to the boy. If the guard can't see me, that means he can't either. I wish he could. I want so badly for him to look at me, to smile at me like he used to. Perhaps…perhaps he can hear me though. I knelt beside the bed.

Can you hear me? I whispered, hoping the guard didn't hear me as well. He was still shaking from the pain, but he stopped screaming. That's good. With great effort, he turned his head toward me. He can hear me!

"You have to fight it. Don't let them win. Don't let them beat you. Do you remember what we talked about? Do you remember what we told each other? Please, I begged him. Fight. Fight for yourself. Fight for us."

I don't know how long I knelt there, whispering in his ear. Has it been hours? Days? When he finally stopped shaking, I looked up and saw that someone else had come into the room. He was here to take me back; I knew. I wondered how long he'd been standing there.

You have to come back. I'm sorry. I knew he didn't mean he was sorry that I had to go back. He was sorry for the boy's fate.

I know, Jonas. I'm coming.

We went back the way I came, the gates banging shut and making me jump. I can't hold it in any longer. I sat on the grassy hill where I had spent so much time with the boy I loved and cried. I could feel my heart splintering into a million pieces. I have no way to know if what I said even worked. Jonas came to sit beside me. He was silent for a long time and just let me cry. For that I was grateful. I don't want anyone to comfort me. I just want to weep.

I exhaled and dried the tears on my face. If I asked you a few questions, Jonas, would you tell me the truth? I inquired after I had finished crying all my tears.

If I have the answers, he replied quietly.

I know you have the answers. You're older than I am, and you know a lot more, having watched the world a lot longer than I have.

Do you think it worked? Do you think he was able to resist it? I hesitantly asked. Do I really want to know the answer?

Jonas seemed to hesitate, thinking about his answer. Please, Jonas. You're one of my best friends. I know you won't keep anything from me. Unless it's absolutely necessary.

He nodded, taking a deep breath before answering. "I think so. When I came to get you, I could still feel him. He was still him. The guard, however… He paused again. The guard I couldn't feel at all. He hung his head in anguish. It was like he was a living statue. He could breathe, he could move, and he could talk, but there was something missing. Something that made him who he was."

So he can come back. I know it's foolish to hope, but I can't seem to help it.

That part is harder to explain. He might have resisted. Although we aren't sure that he did yet, he added in warning, but the change was still made, so his body cannot die. He is still one of Rowan's Immortal Soldiers, which means he is trapped inside. He won't be able to come back.

At all? Never? My voice broke. I can't survive without him. I'll break into thousands of pieces and never be able to put myself back together.

You have to understand that he doesn't remember this place. As long as he is trapped inside his body, he won't remember. So how can he come back to a place he doesn't know exists?

I thought about this for a moment. He couldn't… Unless… It's only a theory. And it might not even work. But… What if someone was able to remember? And what if that person was able to bring someone else back? After all, I haven't had my turn yet. I didn't voice my thoughts out loud. I was afraid of what Jonas would say. Instead, I held on to the hope that my whispered words had done their job well and that one day I would see again the boy whom I loved so much.

First Day

Ava

I still look back on my first day of senior year, remembering it so clearly it seemed like it happened yesterday. Although nothing really exciting happened, something happened that day that caused me to view the world differently. It was also the same day that the dreams started.

I remember walking next to my best friend, Jessica, on the way to our first class, reminiscing about our summer vacation and talking about what we would do after graduation. Of all the things we said we'd do, what I actually did never came up.

Last year, I had been shy and timid, keeping my head down, trying not to call attention to myself, but this year I was oddly confident. It was time for a change, for new beginnings. This year, I held my head high, silently letting everyone know that I liked who I was. They wouldn't be able to put me down with their words or convince me to change the way I looked with their ideas of how I should look.

Jessica opened the door to language class, and I groaned. Looks like Tyler saved you a seat, she snickered. Tyler was her twin brother and had had a crush on me since we were twelve. He hadn't been obvious about it at first, and I wouldn't have known if Jess hadn't told me. When we entered high school, he wasn't as shy about it as he had been before, and it was evident that he had a crush on me. The problem was I didn't share the same feelings, and he didn't seem to understand that.

It wasn't his appearance; he was very handsome. He had the same blond hair and blue eyes as his sister. His nose was straight and his jaw square. He was tall for his age and always well groomed. And of course, he was a nice guy. I just wasn't attracted to him, that's all.

Jessica looked much like her brother in a more feminine way. She kept her hair long, but always in a braid, and she always wore clothes that both fit her personality and drew attention to her better features. She had a great sense of fashion. She had lips that weren't very large but not too thin either. She had the same nose as her brother, but her face was more round.

I looked around the room. There were a few empty seats left. The one next to Tyler—but I didn't want that one. There was the one next to Ben, Jessica's boyfriend—but of course, she was already planning to sit by him. The last one I noticed was at the end of the row, next to a boy I didn't know.

Everyone around him seems wary. The girl in front of him kept looking behind her, and the boy behind him kept glancing up. It seems like people are afraid of him. No one wants to be anywhere near him.

I wondered why this was until I got a closer look at the boy. His onyx black hair was cut so that one side was shaved like an army haircut. The other side was short, and on top was long and spiky. He wore cargo pants and tall black leather boots. His T-shirt was tight against his chest; it was apparent that he was muscled. His black leather jacket was slung on the back of his chair, and he had what looked like military dog tags around his neck. From the way everyone was staring at him, I expected him to be carrying at least a knife, if not a gun, inside the jacket. I looked back up at his face, covering my mouth when I let out an involuntary gasp. He's beautiful. I blushed, hoping no one had noticed me staring.

His jaw was narrow, more diamond shaped than square, and he had high cheekbones. He had a straight nose and full lips, and his large eyes were a bright emerald with flecks of gold, with long dark lashes curtaining them. He seemed to have a permanent frown on his face. There was a tattoo of a black broken heart with silver angel wings on his right arm, which I thought was interesting. I finally tore my gaze away. Everyone else has branded him a troublemaker. They're afraid of him.

Of course, no one wanted to sit by the troublemaker. It was common. They were scared of what others might think of them. Well, I don't know him, and sitting next to him has to be better than sitting next to Tyler.

I felt like I had been standing there watching him for an hour before I finally sat down. He glanced up, surprised, as I slid into the desk next to his. I figured he'd probably noticed the other students avoiding him. I didn't want to be rude, so I introduced myself.

Hi, I'm Ava. Are you new here?

Ryder. Yes, my family just moved in a couple weeks ago, he said, shaking my hand. The frown was still there, and I wondered if he was simply going through the motions of being polite.

Does he think I'm an overly cheerful person who smiles at everyone and greets all the newcomers and offers to show them around?

Well, welcome to Lorna. I hadn't missed the fact that his voice was very deep, where some of the other boys here were still singing soprano in choir.

He nodded. The teacher came in then, which made speaking impossible. It was the first day, so there wouldn't really be anything to do. This meant there wouldn't be any homework either. Textbooks were handed out, rules were explained (plus the consequences for breaking said rules), and a list of books we would read was given to us. We were going to be reading several pieces I'd already read—and of course loved—plus a ton of poetry. I loved poetry.

I doodled while I listened to the teacher talk about what we would work on during the school year. Occasionally, I would glance over to my neighbor. Despite his appearance, I had the distinct feeling that he wasn't the person everyone thought he was. Once when I looked at him, he was looking back, a confused expression on his face. I felt my face turn red after being caught staring. Turning back to my doodling, I didn't look at Ryder for the rest of class.

The bell rang and class ended. I feel so embarrassed. I just won't say anything to Ryder. I'll just pick up my books and leave. Oh no, he's not saying anything either. He probably thinks I'm a total creep.

I practically ran out the door and headed to Biology. What's with the butterflies in my stomach? The confidence I had felt before school had vanished completely. All because I had sat next to a stranger.

By lunchtime, I had regained my earlier courage, and after getting my lunch tray, I went to sit beside Jessica. Of course, Tyler came to sit beside me, putting his arm around me, making sure every other boy in the room knew that he had spoken for me.

I sighed. I'm going to have to do something about him.

I ate my lunch and tried to pay attention to the conversations going on around me. It was Tyler speaking most of the time though, and I was quickly getting bored. He mostly talked about himself, and I'd already heard the story. I began to entertain myself by looking around the cafeteria. I recognized most of the people, but I saw a few new faces. As it was a new school year, the freshmen would have moved up from middle school.

As I scanned the room, I saw him again. He was at a table in a corner sitting next to a younger girl. She looked like a freshman, probably fourteen or fifteen years old. It looked like he was explaining something to her. They seemed to be leaning over a piece of paper. I let my gaze linger. It was rare to see a senior helping a freshman, and I enjoyed the scene. I turned my attention back to the girl. She was beautiful with freckles and striking red hair. Her nose was turned up, and her cheeks were round; they dimpled when she smiled. I couldn't see her eyes, because she had her head turned down toward the table.

But the girl wasn't what held my attention. From across the room, I saw something very strange. Something I had never seen before and something I probably would never see again. On the shorter side of Ryder's haircut was shaved the shape of a wolf.

Ava, did you hear me? I turned to look at Tyler.

He looks annoyed. He's obviously noticed that I haven't been listening to a single word he was saying. I think it had something to do with getting first place at the swim meet last month. For the eleventh time.

Sorry, I got distracted. I flashed a smile, trying to keep my tone polite.

I noticed. He frowned and then seemed to note that I was once again listening to him. You've been looking around the cafeteria as if you've never seen it before. What's so interesting?

Well, for one, I can't hear you talking. And two, I don't think you'd understand, because you don't enjoy meeting new people.

I kept smiling, but my heart wasn't in it. I tried to think of nice qualities that Tyler had to keep myself from, one, thinking awful things about him, and two, telling him off; but it was hard. I knew I would be doing it all day today. Again.

Smiling, he repeated his question. I was wondering if you wanted to go with me to the fall dance next month?

Of course. I tried to think of a plausible argument not to go, for several reasons. One: Tyler seemed to think we were an item, and I didn't want to give him the wrong impression. Two: If we went together, other people would think we were an item, and that would be the last straw. Three: Tyler had been asking me out for four years now, and even though I had turned him down each and every time, he still didn't get the point and didn't seem to be giving up. However, I could be just as stubborn, and I definitely wasn't going to give in. Four: I just was not interested in Tyler.

What day is the dance again? I asked casually, pushing my salad around with my fork. Talking about the dance had made me nauseous, and I was no longer hungry.

It's the second Saturday of next month, like always. He frowned again.

I suppose he expects me to know when all the dances are scheduled.

I don't know if I'll be able to go to the dance. I might be busy. There. He can't argue with that.

Well, it's not until next month. Can't you clear your calendar?

Apparently he can argue with that.

It depends on what is making me busy. If I'm babysitting, then no. Or if my grandparents are visiting, then I can't either. You can't expect me to ask other people to rearrange their schedules around mine.

His face told me he expected me to do just that. I wondered if he had been raised in an old-fashioned way where women had to do whatever men told them to and they were traded like property. Maybe the only reason Tyler hadn't offered my dad a cow in exchange for my hand in marriage was because he knew my dad would throw him out and never let him back inside our house.

It seemed so ridiculous for him to want me to change things around and mess up everyone else's schedule just because he wanted me to do it. After all, the fall dance wasn't the only dance of the year.

Well, I'm certainly not going to clear my calendar when I don't even want to go with him. It's not that you aren't a nice guy, Tyler. Though there are some things you could learn. It's just…If I say yes this time, you're the type to get the wrong impression, and I don't want you to think I like you when I don't.

I sighed, getting up to dump my tray. Looking around the cafeteria, I wondered if there was something wrong with me. Tyler wasn't the only boy to ask me out; he was just more persistent than the others. Yet I hadn't felt anything, ever, for anyone, until today.

Our gym teacher, Mr. Ritter, was late, and most of the class had decided to play dodgeball. I took note of Brock, the school bully. Unfortunately, I was too late to warn Terrence, his number one target. Brock threw the dodgeball at him, knocking off his glasses and laughing at his bloody lip and nose.

I was furious. Brock! Terrence wasn't playing. I helped him up, putting his glasses back on, and we started toward the gym door.

Brock blocked our exit, making me even angrier. What are you gonna do about it? Brock was about 6'2 and very mature for his age. You're tinier than him!"

I was terrified looking up at Brock, but I was determined not to show it. I would not be bullied. "I'm not going to fight you. I'm not a caveman like you. But Terrence needs to see the nurse, and you will get out of my way." I decided if I had to push him out of the way, I was going to get Terrence to the nurse.

I was saved by Mr. Ritter, who came in to find his class disorganized and one of his students bleeding. When he asked us what had happened, everyone stayed quiet. Brock wouldn't own up to his bullying, and the rest of us either didn't want to snitch or were afraid of him.

Even after we had to do pushups, everyone was still quiet. Finally, Mr. Ritter asked me what happened, and I knew I couldn't lie and say I didn't know. We already knew Mr. Ritter had no tolerance for bullying—he told us that every year. It didn't surprise me that he felt the need to tell us again.

Ryder told me I was brave on our way to history, and I had a hard time not hugging him right there. I was certain he could hear my heart beating. Actually, I was terrified. He probably would have punched me if Mr. Ritter hadn't come in just then.

You didn't look terrified.

I laughed, grateful to let the last hour go. I didn't want to let Brock know I was terrified. I'll show you. I mimed putting on a mask. It made my face look like it had when I had told Brock off. Now watch. I mimed taking off the mask. This is how I really felt. Ryder looked like he wanted to hug me. I was surprised that I wished he would have. I hardly knew him.

History was more or less like the rest of my classes. We got our textbooks and talked about the syllabus and the legends we would cover. When I looked at Ryder, he was scowling, and I wondered what he was upset about. I was also surprised that I wanted to ask him about it and try to comfort him. Who is this boy?

At home, I was distracted. I kept thinking about Ryder and the mystery he presented. Normally I would have chided myself for thinking rude thoughts about Tyler and tried to think about his good qualities.

Ryder doesn't seem like a rebel, although I really can't be sure. I don't know him that well, and he hasn't said much. He seems mature for his age, not like the other boys here. He just doesn't seem to fit anywhere.

Most of the time, I could place someone in a group pretty quickly, because most kids tended to gravitate toward the people most like them. Ryder wasn't like anyone. He looked like a punk or a rebel, but he didn't act like one. He was muscled, but he didn't seem interested in sports. He wasn't a jock, and he wasn't a nerd either. He was in his own category, and I wasn't quite sure what that was.

I had lived in the small town of Lorna in the west of Sheriel—the land we called home—ever since I was born. Never once in my seventeen years had I ever felt the feelings that I did that day.

I know practically everyone else my age. Even though most of my friends have their significant other, I've always felt comfortable being by myself. So what am I feeling now? Is it just simple curiosity? Is it a crush? I've never had a crush on anyone. How am I supposed to know what it feels like? And how can I have a crush on a boy I barely know? He is very handsome. But if that's the reason, it is exceedingly shallow.

Very few people came to Lorna and