Benton's Journey: A Gay Love Story

By Donald L Marino

Benton has come out to his family, and it did not go well. On his journey he will cross paths with those who support him and those that don't. Heartbreak and self-doubt keep him from embracing his true love.

This is the second book in the journey series. Carl's Journey is the first book of the series. This series will make you laugh, c

• Language: English
• Publisher: author
• Release date: Feb 16, 2024
• ISBN: 9798869160690

Donald L Marino

Donald L Murray Jr. was born in central Pennsylvania. As a senior in high school Donald wrote his first book, a Hardy Boys style book, that got him an A in English class. Donald spent four years in the Army, where he lived in Germany and was in the first gulf war. Since coming home, he moved to northeast Pennsylvania where Donald was involved with community theater for over twelve years and also took an improve class in New York City. Donald married his husband, Anthony, and took his last name, Marino. Donald loves to travel as well as sitting home writing. Donald's favorite author is Terry Brooks

Book preview

Prologue

     Benton sat watching couples dance, wishing he had someone to dance with.  He had a date, but she was dancing with the guy she really wanted to go to the prom with. It didn’t really bother him; he didn’t really want to be there with her either.  He wasn’t attracted to her, or any other girl his mother set him up with.

    Come on son, she is sweet. His mother had told him.

    I’m just not into her. He had told her on more than one occasion.

     Now he was sitting playing with what passed for some kind of chicken.  He ran his hand through is neatly cut black hair that parted and combed to the right.  His brown eyes searched for someone, anyone to talk to.

     Not enjoying yourself?  Benton turned to see his friend Glen sitting down in the chair beside him.  They were the senior players on the chess team.

    No. He rolled his eyes.

    Me either. I hate these things.  My mother says I need to socialize, but I’m not good at that.

     Benton looked at Glen. His black framed large glasses didn’t hide his sad brown eyes.  The smiled that was always there when they played chess was gone, and frustration shown on his face.  His small frame slumped in his seat, as he blew his dirty blond hair up off his glasses.

     Well, you have a lot to live up to. Benton smiled at him.  He had a brother who was fifteen years older than him.  He was the sports star, went to college and was now a professor at Bloomsburg University.

     I just can’t match up to him.

     I know.

     You’re not helping. He gave him a look. I think I am going home. Glen got up to leave.

     Benton smiled How is your brother?  He wasn’t sure why, but he always had the best conversations with him.

     Glen just gave him a dirty look and walked away.

     Benton, are you ok? Carl touched his shoulder.

     Benton shook his head slightly.

     I’m sorry, the pain meds keep me in space a lot.  Benton half smiled at Carl.  He was at Antonio and Arron’s wedding.  The service was nice, but Benton was still in a lot of pain from the beating his dad had given him just a few weeks ago.

     Listen, if you’re tired you can go crash in our room. Carl looked at him, with concern in his face.

     I want to get something to eat, but maybe after that I will.  Benton smiled trying to hide the fact the medicine is wearing him out. That and he was tired of reliving the past, when he was hiding who he was.  The medicine was causing him to drift in and out of those times.

     Did you eat? Alice asked as she sat down beside him.

     I’m trying, but my stomach is not very happy.  Carl said I could take a nap in his room.  I think that’s what I’m going to do."  He got up and slowly walked into the house.

      Has his mom contacted him at all? James asked as he walked up to Alice.

      No, and the poor boy is lost. I just want to shake her. Alice clenched her fist.

     We will just have to help him as much as possible on his journey. Carl said as he joined them.

Chapter One

      A breezy, fall day and three good looking young men are walking through the Wal-Mart parking lot headed toward their car.  Benton watches them as they laugh and joke with each other.

     Benton honey, are you Ok? Alice asked as they headed toward their car.

     Hu… uh nothing. Benton looked at her not really hearing what she said.

     Who were those guys you were looking at? She elbowed him, thinking he found them cute.

     Football players from high school.

     Friends?

     No. Let’s just go. Benton said and hurried to the car.

     What’s wrong? Alice asked as she got into the car.

    Nothing, just don’t want to run into those guys. Benton lowered his head.

    OK, Fine. Alice realized he didn’t want to talk about it.

    They pulled out and headed up the interstate to Carl and James’s house for dinner.

    So, who all is coming to dinner? Benton finally asked.

    The usual crew. Alice laughed.

    Cool. Benton said then got quiet again.

    Have you given any thought to going out sometime with the guys? Alice asked as they pulled up to Carl’s house.

     No, I’m just not ready.

     Hate to see you alone. Alice looked at him and smiled.

     You’re alone. Benton pointed out.

     I had my partner, and he is irreplaceable.  You haven’t had someone yet. Alice got out and headed to the house.  Benton sighed and got out of the car.

     Alice got busy in the kitchen making dinner with Carl, Benton made his way to the back yard kicking leaves around. His mind raced back to high school again, and the three guys he saw today.  Tears came to his eyes, and he clenched his fist as anger rushed through his body.

     The leaves piss me off too. Came a voice from behind him.  He turned to see Carl standing there.  Benton smiled, but his eyes gave him away.

      I’m fine. Benton said before he could ask.

     You don’t look like it.

      Well, there is a lot going on.  You know my dad an all. He wiped his eyes.

      So, nothing else is bothering you?

      No.

      Because if there is, I’m a good listener.

      Benton took a deep breath and tried not to cry.

      It is those guys you saw today?

      I thought I had put it behind me. Tears came slowly.

      Put what behind you? Carl walked him to the picnic table.

      I…can’t talk about it.

      It will help.

      You won’t look at me the same anymore. Benton hung his head.

      I don’t judge anyone, that’s not my job.  You’re my family and I love you no matter what.

      I was…. Now full-blown crying came.

      It’s OK, whatever it is.

      Benton took a deep breath and sighed. He got his tears under control.

     I was taken towels into the locker room, when I was a senior.  I helped out the janitor from time to time.  He would give me a few bucks.  Benton stopped and looked at Carl.

     It’s OK. Just say it.

     Those three guys. I saw today, were in the shower when I went in.  I thought the team had all left.  I found myself looking at….

     I get it.

     Yeah, well they caught me looking.

     Oh, shit.

     They grabbed me, called me faggot bitch, among other names.  Benton just looked at Carl for a response.

      They forced me to my knees, made me… Benton couldn’t finish.

      Oh my God. Carl grabbed Benton’s hand.

      They pushed me over a bench and pulled my pants down.

      It’s not your fault. Carl hugged him as he cried.

      I bled for a day after that. Benton sobbed into Carl’s shoulder.

       Did you tell anyone?

       Oh, God no!

       They were never held accountable?

       I was looking, I brought it on.

      Looking doesn’t mean they can do that to you.

      You want to know the worst part?

      There is more?

      I kind of enjoyed it.  Does that make me a sick person?

      No.  So, you didn’t resist?

      At first, I did.  Then I went with it, afterwords I was ashamed of myself. I should have never enjoyed that.

     Don’t be so hard on yourself.

     I can’t help it.

     Listen I use to be like you, ashamed of the things that I enjoyed.

      Really?  Yeah, I bet they weren’t as bad as this.

      I like being tied up, handled ruff. Things like that.

      Benton just looked at him in shock.

      Honestly it’s no one’s business what you enjoy, except the person you’re with.

     So how did you get over those feelings?

     I saw a therapist for a while, and Antonio helped me a lot.

      I don’t know what to do.

      I have the therapist number if you want.  You have a lot on your plate and talking might help.

     Dinner is ready. James yelled out the window.

     I’ll let you know if I want his number. Benton stood, trying to wipe his face.

     I’m here anytime.

     I just haven’t thought about that for a long time.  Please don’t tell anyone.

     It’s between you and me.  Carl hugged him again.  Let’s go eat.

     They walked in and Alice looked at Carl who gave her a thumbs up.  Benton went to the bathroom and cleaned up and enjoyed dinner.

Chapter Two

     Are you sure you don’t mind me using the car? Benton said to Alice as he opened the driver’s door to get in.

     How else are you going to get to work?  Now go it’s your first day you don’t want to be late. Alice waved her hand.  Besides Beth is just right over there if I need anything.  She pointed to the farmhouse not far from where they stood.

     I don’t know how I can ever repay you for all your help. He smiled and shut the door.

     He drove up eighty toward Hazleton.  He had got a job at the Comfort Inn working the front desk overnight.  If wasn’t the job he really wanted, but for now it would due.  He was soon pulling into the parking lot.

     You must be Benton. A short, small, framed girl with blond hair said as he walked in.

     That’s me. He smiled at her.

     Well come with me.  I’m Tessa, I’m in charge of night shift.

     She showed him around, where to punch in and how to use the computer.

     This seems simple enough.

     The next couple of weeks went by and he became close to Tessa.

     Hey, I have a question for you. Tessa smiled at him as he finished checking in a young couple.

     What?

     Brian and I would like to take you out. Tessa smiled at him.

     Ah, thanks, but I’m trying to save money so I can get my own car and my own place.  I have been sponging off of Alice for too long now.

     It would be our treat.

     I couldn’t

     Ok, I’ll be honest with you, Brian has a friend, and we think…

     Stop right there, a blind date. Are you crazy?

     He is a really nice guy, a little older than you, but I think you would like him.

     I don’t have time to date right now, the trial with my dad is coming up, I need a place of my own.  I just can’t right now.

     If you are waiting for a perfect time, that time may never come.  There will always be something going on.  She flashed another smile at him.

     Now you sound like Alice.

     I would love to meet her sometime, she sounds lovely.

     He just shot her a look and she smiled again.

    I’m gay remember, your cute little girly smile and puppy dog eyes don’t work on me. He lied, and she knew it.

     Please. She looked at him again with the same smile.

     I’ll think about it, let me get through next week with my dad and we will see.

     Great! She jumped up and down slightly.

    Don’t get too excited.  I said I’ll think about it. He smiled, but deep down he was a little excited.

     Excuse me, may I check in.  I know I’m late, but my flight got delayed.  Benton turned to see a man setting his suitcases down.

      No problem, sir. Benton logged into the computer and looked up to see a familiar black framed glasses looking at him.

     Benton? Oh my god.

     Glen, holy shit, how are you? Benton smiled broadly.

     I’m good, why are you working here? I thought you were away at college.

     Long story.  What are you doing here.  Didn’t you get some fancy job in upstate New York or something?

     That’s why I’m here.  My company has a contract with a company in the industrial park.  I have a meeting with them tomorrow.

     Good for you.

     Thanks, we need to catch up.

    I get off at seven.  If you want, we could go to Perkins for breakfast.

    That would be great.  I’ll see you at seven.

    Benton finished checking him in and handed him his key.

    See you in the morning. Glen smiled and went off to his room.

     Well, maybe you won’t need the blind date. Tessa smiled at him. Who was that?

     That was my best friend from high school.  He smiled at her.

     You two ever…

     What? No!

     You never know.

     Trust me he isn’t that way.

     Does he know you are?

     Not yet.  He smiled at her.

     Should be an interesting breakfast.  She smiled and turned and went into the office.

     He thought the same thing.  He didn’t know how Glen would take the news.  He sighed and went into the office.

Chapter Three

     OK, I’ll see you shortly. Benton hung up the phone.

     So, tell me more about Glen. Tessa was smiling big at him.  She had been hinting around all night that he may have a boyfriend now, but he wasn’t allowed to move.  Then she would laugh.

     Well, his parents are very well off and have friends in high places.  That’s how he got his job without a college degree, not that he is bad at it.  He is very smart and his senior year he had taken some college credits.

     And.

     And, that is it.  I don’t think he is gay, but he was my best friend in high school so I am sure he will be fine.

     Are you ready? Came Glens voice from the elevator as he got off of it.

     Just let me clock out fast.  He smiled at Tessa and went into the office, returning a minute later.

     You boys have fun.  Tessa smiled, causing Glen to looked weird at her.

     We can pull our cars over there, it’s just on the other side of the parking lot.  I’ll see you there.  Benton said as he got into his car.

     Two? The host asked as they walked in.

    Yes. Benton said.

    Follow me.  They followed her to a table.

     They ordered their drinks and breakfast.

     So how is the job going for you? Benton asked after taking a sip of his coffee.

     It’s going well, it’s weird being so far away from family.

     How is the family?

     Well, my parents moved to Colorado, they wanted some wide-open spaces. He laughed. My brother lives in the family house and is still at Bloomsburg University.

     Nice, glad you are all doing well.

     What about you, why aren’t you in college.

      Uh, well it’s a long story.

     Go on.

     I was talking with my mother; I came out and she wasn’t handling it well. My dad walked in and when he found out he beat the crap out of me.

     Wait, are you saying you’re gay? Glen looked shocked.

    Yeah, my dad said I was dead to him.  I was in the hospital for a couple days.

    You’re Gay? Glen was still trying to process the information.

     So, there is a hearing next week, and I stay with my aunt Alice now, because my mom wants nothing to do with me now.

     The waitress brought their food and Benton started eating nervously.

     Have you always been gay?

     Well, I have always known.

     I don’t know what to say. Glen still hadn’t touched his food.

     I’m fine with who I am now, it’s taken a while for me to get here…

    Did you have feelings for me in high school?

   What?

    Listen I’m not gay. Glen was a little loud now.

    I didn’t think you were.

    But you had feelings for me?  Because I couldn’t handle that.

    No, I never had feelings for you.

    Is that why that lady said have a good time?

    She was….

    What did you think was going to happen?

    Nothing, just two friends having breakfast.

    Wait, so the locker room story, was that true?

    Well, not the way it was told.

    But something did happen?

     Why does that matter?  Benton had a knot in his stomach.

     You lied to me; told me they were lying.

     I was embarrassed and didn’t want to talk about it.

     You should be embarrassed. You need to get help to get over this.

     What?

     There are places you can go to help you get better, so you’re not gay.

     I’m fine with who I am.

     My friend would not be fine with this.  It’s wrong, just wrong.

     I’m sorry you feel that way.

     I have to go. Glen stood up.

     You didn’t eat. Benton pointed.

     I don’t have an appetite anymore.  My best friend is sick and don’t want help….

     I’m not sick. Benton was getting a little angry now.

     Don’t bother me anymore, as far as I’m concerned our friendship is over until you get help.

    Fine, I’m sorry you are so narrow minded.  I never thought you would act like this.

    I’m out of here! Glen threw a twenty on the table and walked out.

     Benton sat tears in his eyes.

    Honey I’m sorry.  He looked up to see Tessa standing there.

     What are you doing here?

     "I wanted to see if it worked