Become Brave And Beautiful - How To Be Unapologetically Confident As You!

By Ava N. James

Do you long to be your truest self unapologetically?

"Become Brave And Beautiful - How To Be Unapologetically Confident As You!" is based on Ava N. James' personal story to confidence - from highs and low, setbacks and struggles to becoming the warrior woman she is today!

She pulls back the curtains and takes you on a journey to find yourself and become brave and beautiful. With secret tips, vulnerable moments and all the lessons she learned in life, love and leadership to be herself unapologetically!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ava N. James
• Release date: Nov 30, 2023
• ISBN: 9781999337278

Book preview

A person with long hair and earrings Description automatically generated

Become Brave And Beautiful

HOW TO BE UNAPOLOGETICALLY CONFIDENT AS YOU!

Ava N. James

Copyright © 2023 by Ava N. James

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted by any mechanical, photographic or electronic process, or in the form of a phonographic recording; nor may it be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted or otherwise be copied in any form or by any means, for public or private use, without prior written permission from the publisher, other than for ‘fair use’ as brief quotations embodied in a book review.

The advice, opinions and strategies found within this book may not be suitable for every situation. Any use of information in this book is at the reader’s discretion and risk. The content and work are sold with the understanding that neither the author nor the publishers are held responsible for the results accrued from the advice in this book.

Scripture quotations are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Cover design by Canva

First Edition: November 2023

ISBN (eBook) 978-1-9993372-7-8

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The beauty of a woman

Is not in the clothes she wears,

The figure that she carries

Or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman

Is seen in her eyes,

Because that is the doorway to her heart

The place where love resides.

True beauty in a woman

Is reflected in her soul.

It’s the caring that she lovingly gives

The passion that she shows,

And the beauty of a woman

Only grows with passing years.

Audrey Hepburn

Contents

To Every Woman Living In A Beauty Obsessed World

PART 1

HOW TO BE CONFIDENT FROM THE INSIDE OUT

Developing A Growth Mindset

Envisioning Your Excellence

Loving Yourself Is Accepting Yourself As You Are

PART 2

HOW TO FOCUS ON WHAT YOU DO HAVE – AND NOT WHAT YOU DON’T HAVE

Gratitude Brings Happiness

When You Lose Your Focus, Pray

Balance Is About Blessings

PART 3

HOW TO BE RADIANT STARTING WITH YOUR SMILE

Daily Beauty Rituals

Letter To My Twenty Year Old Self

For Fast Acting Reflection, Slow Down

PART 4

HOW TO REINVENT YOURSELF

Fill Your Jug Up With Sunshine And Wisdom

Becoming Confident As You

Mingle With Dreamers And Doers

PART 5

HOW TO REFRAME BEAUTY AS NOT BEING A COMPETITION

Changing Your Story

You Are Enough!

Reset And Rise With Courage

PART 6

HOW TO BRAVELY STEP OUT AS AN EXAMPLE FOR THE NEXT GENERATION

Your Life Isn’t A Dress Rehearsal, It’s the Main Show!

Confidence That Conquers All

Beauty That’s More Than Pretty

Letter To My Future Self

Is This The End?

About The Author

This book is dedicated to every warrior woman!

I hope this book injects you with inspiration, to soar above every storm in your life and sets you up, high and lifted to create your brave and beautiful story.

To Every Woman Living In A Beauty Obsessed World

If you long to leave a legacy of courage, strength and mental resilience in the battlefield of life, there is one essential requirement, that overrules any technique or strategy. Be willing to find yourself and learn everything you can, to become that remarkable woman. What is the first image that springs to your mind when you think of a warrior woman? It doesn’t matter whether this person is real or fictitious. When I dived into history, I found women who have stood out and influenced me with their skills, strategy and strength in times of adversity and battle.

From well-known examples such as Joan of Arc, to fictional characters such as Wonder Woman or Xena the Warrior Princess. What is it about their characters that we admire or aspire towards? In every case it was their physical attractiveness that captured my attention first. Before I noted their qualities of empowerment and complexity, vulnerability and strength. But I wanted to look past the external beauty we can get fixed on where admiration turns to obsession. Have we over idolised perceived beautiful physical appearances? And become superficial, neglecting the characteristics of inner beauty?

On the other hand, I discovered numerous modern day women working as humanitarians, in some of the most challenging environments on this planet. To raise awareness and support other women, who are unseen and unheard in crises around the world. In every account, I felt an invisible inspiration about these women that drew me to their story.

Perhaps you can recall a woman who has been an example in your own life, a role model for change that has inspired you with her independence, justice and adaptability. I believe behind every woman’s journey to be brave and beautiful is her vulnerability, sensitivity and nurturing care that complemented and enhanced her warrior skills. It’s these characteristics that draw us towards their example and legacy, as compelling and influential to the woman we want to become. Becoming brave and beautiful is my own journey to become a modern version of a warrior woman.

BEAUTY IS AN INTERESTING PHENOMENON

Every warrior woman I researched had an unquestionable external beauty. It made me aware of my own intrigue of fashion and beauty trends. Is this due to the subtle messages that we are bombarded with? Or is it the way we were raised to believe that unless you were externally beautiful, you wouldn’t succeed in life? And there are our school years, where beautiful girls got all the attention and admiration. Even though I tried to consider this from a different angle, I observed my own response to characters like Wonder Woman and Xena the Warrior Princess. I was captivated by them because of their beauty and confidence. And it spiked my curiosity.

Likewise, in our modern world there are many iconic women who appear beautiful in their glittering outfits and glamourous makeup. And similarly our eye is instantly drawn to their external beauty. We aspire to look as beautiful as they do. Has society conditioned us to believe that we can only be accepted if we appear strikingly beautiful on the outside? And why do we neglect our inner beauty that comes from a beautiful character?

This is a far more precious quality we cannot buy from the top beauty brands or fashion houses. Neither can any form of cosmetic surgery alter our inner beauty and miraculously give us the qualities of a beautiful character. The reason I became curious about this is, I noticed that beautiful women aren’t afraid of the spotlight, they seem to feel comfortable in every situation. A bit like fairytales, the beautiful girl always seems to find happiness and love and the ugly ones end up with nothing. And the beauty industry that uses commercials to hit our insecurities about our image. As women have we been conditioned to hide behind a flawless external appearance in the hope it will make us feel worthy? Or only wear layers of makeup in order to feel self-assured and beautiful?

In my own pursuit to understand this, I collided into a quality we all long to be. Confident. In every situation and without pressure – with our own natural beauty or with all the glamour. So, I began to question, how do I become confident in my own kind of beautiful way, that is unapologetically me. Along the way, I discovered, many other women who shared this quest. Each of the women I chatted with aspired to be confident all the time, without the need to fit the fashion or beauty trends. It wasn’t long before I understood that self-assurance was essential if you want to be the light and soul of any room. But pretending to be confident and being unapologetically confident as you, are two different things.

Here's where I realised that we each have a unique self-belief, that is as distinct as how we look and that is the bedrock to becoming a confident woman. Believing in our abilities and talents leads to our individual success. And when we have a high self-esteem, we become happier and more satisfied with our lives. With a combination of all these elements, our self-worth is increased, and we become comfortable to be ourselves in a way that is our own version of unapologetic confidence. Your beauty becomes an inside job and a lifelong pursuit of being the best possible version of yourself from the inside out.

THE FINE LINE BETWEEN OBSESSION AND DISEASE

The purpose of this book is not to question what beautiful is, because I believe our external beauty is a gift from God. But to share with you the lessons life has taught me on my journey in a beauty obsessed world to become a confident warrior woman, that displays my own kind of beautiful. Away from the dream to be young forever and equate youth to beauty. I soon discovered that being beautiful doesn’t make me confident. We are bombarded with how to look. And the fashion and beauty industry’s expose our insecurities to ageism. Are we being conformed to become copycats, rather than be ourselves? Is there such paramount pressure to be externally beautiful and in the process, we’ve become shallow and don’t look beyond appearances?

On the internet, the word ‘beauty’ is searched billions of times. Information is everywhere. From magazine covers to bill boards and television commercials. We are constantly overwhelmed on social media with tips and tricks of how to remain youthful and externally beautiful. As beauty is not eternal, there are limitless ideas hurled at us on what to do to fight the anti-ageing battle, hints to look younger and industry beauty secrets from the professionals.

At the click of a finger, we can transform our image for any event or occasion. Choose the latest trends and pursue ways to appear years or even a decade younger. The pressures can become unsurmountable. To the point where we undermine our individual beauty and the way we look. Our attention is consumed by trying to fit society’s model of beauty. And we depreciate our own image as not beautiful. Leading to eating disorders and depression.

Cosmetic enhancements or procedures seem to almost have become a normal part of society and are never in short supply. From quick retail solutions to redefining the effects of time with anti-ageing surgery, the obsessions with appearance can damagingly affect women’s emotional and physical health. Have we overlooked what makes us individually distinct and diverse? Where our beauty isn’t based on how to look like someone famous, but be our own kind of beautiful. To become comfortable in our own imperfections and skin. And be ourselves unapologetically.

This is something I felt challenged to change, because the unrealistic images of beauty that inundates us results in low self-esteem and low self-confidence in many woman. As I noted  many woman sharing their stories to change this negative influence, it got me thinking. How can I celebrate my own kind of beautiful? In a world where we believe we have to be beautiful, to gain success or be accepted. Where I inspire the next generation. From the young women I know, to be confident, because they create a belief in who they are and not an ideal. To admire their distinctive and unique beauty. And if we appreciated our individuality together, we could inspire the next generation to become confident in what true beauty really is.

From women wearing makeup to those without, many were judged as looking more confident and healthier, if they did. Have we imitated the behaviour or example of the beauty industry, because it seems like the social norm? Or is it due to our self-consciousness, insecurities and lack of confidence in ourselves? If we want to change the narrative of peer pressure, beauty advertisements and our perception of beauty. I believe it’s time to confront the negative effects and look at role models of beauty in the Bible. And turn our focus to enhancing a Godly inner beauty.

There will always be pressure, but if we develop our own worth and beauty, we can diminish the questions that arise. Why is there so much emphasis on how women are judged because of their body appearance? Is it only outer beauty that matters? As I explored this topic and my own life journey, I discovered that true beauty isn’t about the texture of our hair or the tone of our skin. Or the shape of our body and dress size. Or how immaculate we look and glammed up we can be. To me true beauty is about being who I am – the way I look with my unique natural beauty and glow with confidence displaying my distinct values, principles and morals.

THE PRESSURE IS PARAMOUNT

This book is based on my own search to become brave and beautiful, as I faced the uncomfortable issues young girls still face today. Affecting our confidence and feeling pressured to look a certain way and replicate the image of the ‘ideal woman’. But recognise there is more to beauty than meets the eye. More than what we see in magazines, social media and fashion runways. My own experiences, led me to this place. I have dealt with feeling like I was never as pretty or attractive