Dear Crush: F&F , We Bleed for Others

By Anthony Prakash

Meet Tony, a fresh-faced 21-year-old emerging from the hallowed halls of college into the uncharted territory of adulthood. But this isn't your typical journey; it's a thrilling quest for self-discovery, passion, and the highs and lows of life.

 

Over the next decade, Tony doesn't just evolve; he transforms into a global sensation as a renowned screenwriter. But what's the secret ingredient to his success? Enter an intriguing girl who becomes the muse behind Tony's creative brilliance. This isn't your ordinary crush; it's the driving force behind a narrative that keeps you hooked from the start.

 

The tale unfolds The tale unfolds over six pivotal months, offering an intimate look into Tony's world. From the suspenseful moments of job hunting to the electric charge of finding his true calling, you'll step into Tony's shoes and experience a rollercoaster ride of emotions.

 

Hold tight as the narrative delves into profound themes – death, money, family dynamics, the allure of lust, the complexities of love, the boundless realm of imagination, the fiery spark of passion, and the tapestry of life itself. Each page is a revelation, drawing you deeper into the enigma of Tony's existence.

This isn't just a story; it's an immersive journey where you're not just reading about Tony's life – you're living it. Brace yourself for a narrative that unfolds like a captivating puzzle, inviting you to decipher the complexities and unravel the secrets within Tony's extraordinary six months

• Language: English
• Publisher: Anthony Prakash
• Release date: Jan 30, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224821792

Book preview

Tony's The Artistry of Emotion

I stare at the computer screen in a dark room, with only the light from the computer table. One hand holds a cigarette, which I put in my mouth before closing my eyes. I take a deep puff, feeling the heat inside my body as I exhale smoke. With my other hand, I zoom in and out on the Mona Lisa painting, focusing on every pixel and every corner. Why am I doing this?

If you delve into the deepest recesses of my mind, one particular thought always arises—I wonder who the Mona Lisa really is. What exactly inspired Leonardo da Vinci to create this painting? What motivated him? How did Vinci feel about the woman—was he truly captivated or not? What was the relationship between them? The entire world considers it a masterpiece, one of the finest art pieces ever created in history. How did Vinci feel during every moment spent creating this art? What thoughts crossed Vinci's mind? These are the questions that have always lingered in my mind.

It's not about the Mona Lisa painting; it's about Leonardo da Vinci's mind. I want to know, just want to know, if Vinci was happy or sad, if he loved, smiled, or cried. What exactly did he feel when seeing her lips, her neck, her fingers, her hands? Oh yes, her breasts.

On the Internet, it shows the fact that it took 16 years for him to finish. Is it true? Damn, man! He really had patience, something I can't even achieve in my life. I always feel there is something, yes, some big connection, a big story between Mona Lisa and Leonardo da Vinci that nobody is ever going to know.

1. WHAT'S NEXT..? 

At the Corner Bakery, located at the intersection of three busy roads, people converge from all directions, utilizing various modes of transportation, including cars, buses, bicycles, and pedestrians. The noise from the bustling surroundings permeates the air. I walk into the bakery, purchase a cigarette and tea, find the window seat empty, go there, sit, and begin smoking. Holding a certificate bag, I continue to glance at it.

Contemplating what's next in my life, I find myself pondering the time I spent in college – three years wasted on a seemingly pointless existence.

Looking around and observing people, I now question if I have become one of them. Working for others, caught up in the job culture – who invited this race through life? What are they all chasing? I wonder, what exactly do they want? How are they living? Are they truly enjoying their jobs?

Everyone is adorned in nice clothes, projecting professionalism, yet their faces lack genuine happiness. No one seems to smile freely. Look at that man – how quickly he smokes. Someone is yelling on the phone, maybe at his girlfriend. I don't have his problems.

Now, I feel like I am becoming a part of this world. Uncertain about what to do with my life, I haven't thought about what's next. In my 21 years, I've simply enjoyed life without caring about anything.

With each puff of my cigarette, I decide it's time to figure out what I want. Rain starts. Looking through the window, all places slowly turn wet. People are finding a place to hide from the rain; some are coming inside the bakery, while others stand, looking at the bakery. I turn my head to see my window is fully blurry. I take my hand to rub the window's glass. I suddenly turn my head and see a young girl getting down from the school bus. My eyes only keep following her as she walks slowly. I close my eyes. I mutter, Follow your goal.

I checked my phone, and Krish's call finally came in. Irritated, I picked up

How long have I been waiting? Where the fuck are you? I snapped

On the way, just 10 minutes, Krish replied

You've been saying that for an hour!

Washing the last car. Give me 10 minutes, I'll be there, he assured

I ended the call and noticed a small kid looking at me with a slightly scared expression. I smile back and decide to greet them with a friendly Hi, Hello. The child asks for chocolate, persistently requesting more. Eventually, the father intervenes, giving the child a single chocolate. However, the child's face shows disappointment. Later, I observe a beggar approaching, possibly seeking money or food. Unfortunately, a shopkeeper harshly scolds the beggar, instructing them to go away.

Reflecting on this scene, I look at my certificates. I spent three years on my BCOM, two years in Pre-University, and ten years on my SSLC 10th. I wonder about the significance of these certificates in defining who I am. They serve as proof of my knowledge and education, but do they determine my talents or strengths? I ponder the purpose of these certificates, realizing that they are merely tokens of accomplishment.

Suddenly, the shopkeeper's expression changes to happiness. Curious, I turn to see a well-dressed man with a stylish demeanor entering the bakery. He exudes confidence and charm, making him stand out. I wonder what makes him so distinctive.

One lesson I gather from these observations is that money commands respect. A good job leads to a decent income, and accumulating wealth earns even more respect. It seems that financial success allows people to live life on their own terms. As I dream of a luxurious lifestyle with a fancy car and attractive companions, I wonder if I can achieve such a life.

Ah, I see my buddy coming inside. Let me prepare an angry face for him. How long has he kept me waiting here? Let's playfully tease him and maybe even challenge him to a friendly fight. Come on, man, come.

Krish just comes and sits down, looking at my face with a slight smile.

Krish started, I saw a girl just now; she is—

I immediately forgot everything, entering into full curiosity mode.

Whom? Where? Is she beautiful? I asked eagerly.

Yes, she is a fucking cake, you know, but... Krish hesitated.

But what? I pressed.

I think she is a little older, he admitted.

So what? If the cake is good, we deserve to eat it, right? I responded with a playful grin.

Krish and I are both laughing, and people around us are looking at us, disturbed by our loud conversation. However, we don't care; we continue talking loudly.

Krish congratulated me, Ok, congrats, man! You finally finished. What's next?

I really don't know. What to do? I never thought about this before. Going for a job, earning money, marrying someone, producing kids, getting old, and then dying. Is that life? I pondered.

Man, you're giving me a scare, Krish joked.

Final year, next year you'll be sitting here, feeling the heat, I said.

Stop, Man. You'll figure it out, don't worry. Life will find you, Krish reassured.

What? I questioned.

Leave that. Let's have a party. You're done with this shit, right? Let's celebrate, Krish suggested.

I don't have money, I admitted.

I don't believe you. Show me your wallet, Krish insisted.

Ahh, no. I didn't bring my wallet either, I confessed.

See? Come on, let's go to the bar, and have a beer now, Krish proposed.

Now? I have to go home. Mom said to come home soon, I hesitated.

Stop with that attitude. I'll cover it. I'll throw a party, Krish insisted.

Yes. Then let's just go, I agreed.

Krish keeps looking at me, and I am trying to avoid eye contact with him. I slightly smile, and he nods his head.

Krish remarked, Man, you never changed, huh?

2. SEEKING FREEDOM

Krish and I enter the bar, where dim lights create an ambiance that feels like another world. As we look around, people are engaged in drinking and conversation, seemingly indifferent to everything else. The common thread among them is the sense of freedom that pervades this place. We find a place to sit, place our drink orders, and then both start smoking. 

Looking at everyone's faces, all are deep thinkers. They are contemplating something profound, and I can feel it just by looking at them. To my right, another group of friends at a table is enjoying their time. Far away, a beggar is enjoying his drink, and in the corner, a young boy is crying while looking at his phone. Everyone is trying to find an answer to something here. One thing I finally realize is that everyone is seeking freedom here.

Hey man, what's up? Just looking around. Let's start... Cheers! Krish exclaimed.

Krish and I both start drinking. We keep drinking and begin to feel high. I start to feel a sense of freedom, not caring about what to do in the future. My entire body feels weightless as if I am floating on the sea. I like this feeling, and suddenly, my mind remembers the girl who got off the bus, her face vivid in my memory.

Look, man, don't care about anything. You always say that you know, Krish advised.

What? I asked.

Flow... Be in the flow, man, Krish explained.

Yes, I agreed.

Simple, just like now, you're going to flow like a river. Let everything happen, let it happen, Krish continued.

Hey fuckface, that's my phrase, I protested.

I'm your friend, you know. I deserve to say it to you, Krish defended.

Leave it. In the bakery, I saw one girl. She was amazing, you know, I shared.

Oh, you also saw that older woman? Krish teased.

Hey, no, no. She's younger, dude. School bus. I saw her getting down from the school bus, I clarified.

Okay, okay, schoolgirl. Hmm, not a good idea, man, Krish cautioned.

Hey, no, no. I mean, she is older, like she could be 16, 17, or maybe 18, but she was wearing a uniform and getting off a school bus, I explained.

Maybe she failed for many years, or... Hey, which school bus? What's its name? Krish inquired.

Sri Chitha, I think...

Krish became curious,  Oh. Maybe she's in her first year of pre-university. That means she'll be 17. Then what happened?

Nothing happened. I just remembered that's all I said, I replied.

Is she beautiful? Krish asked.

She's a work of art. Beautiful the way she is, her body, her face, her eyes—simply amazing, I described.

Don't worry, man. You like her, right? We will find her, we will talk—no, no, you'll talk to her. She's my sister, Krish declared.

Don't say that... I protested.

If she accepts me as a brother, or whatever relationship, I welcome her, Krish said sarcastically.

I laughed, Fuckface, stop it...

Suddenly, I stopped laughing. My laughter turns into smiles, which then fade into silence as I start thinking.

Why, what happened? Krish inquired.

Mom and sister have big hopes for me. I'll get a good job, and I'll take care of the whole family. I don't want to lose their hope, I explained.

Forget it, man. You can, and you'll find a way. We always have a problem; instead of looking at the problem, fix it, find a way. And I have trust in you; you have a big brain. I've seen you since childhood—you'll do it, you'll rise. Forget about that, okay? Krish encouraged.

Really, I can? I asked.

No, I'm just kidding, man. I'm drunk. I can't be serious right now, Krish replied with a grin.

He and I are both laughing and looking at each other.

3. FAMILY STICK TOGETHER

I am just standing in front of the door. Before knocking, I take lots of chocolate to make sure there are no smells. I want to ensure that my family doesn't find out that I am drunk. I decide to pretend to be normal and be confident as I face them. I just knock on the doorbell. Jenny opens the door and keeps looking at me with a happy face. However, her expression changes slightly, and she gives me a different look, sensing a different smell. Her nose detects that I'm drunk, but she smiles; she's happy for holding certificate bags.

Jenny said, Welcome, brother. Give me the certificate.

I just gave my bags to Jenny. She tries