Everything Is Going to Be Okay

By Catherine Garant

Unbelievable!

This is a harrowing true story of survival - how a little girl lost her childhood to a plague of sexual molestations and a home life ruled by an unpredictable, abusive alcoholic. Terror and danger were constants.

Told in a unique, brutally honest style, this saga of perseverance and self-discovery leads the rea

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Jan 17, 2024
• ISBN: 9798890412997

Catherine Garant

Catherine is a survivor! She is a remarkable and fearless woman who persevered through horrendous horror to find stupendous Love. Her story is phenomenal; her insights are life-changing, and her provocative storytelling style will captivate you.Catherine cares deeply and truly enjoys helping people to better understand themselves. She is a catalyst for positive inner change. Catherine Grace Garant is a mother and grandmother who is happily married to Greg, her 'Teddy Bear' husband of 36 years. Her life's career has been graciously spent in customer service, sales, and hospitality. She enjoys walking the beaches and cycling the boardwalks both at her Canadian Prince Edward Island home and her winter place in Florida.Sharing her story is one of her greatest joys, as is caring for all creatures, great or small, who cross her path.

Book preview

Dedication

There is no doubt in my mind to whom this book owes its existence.

Firstly, to my incredible first teaching Pastor, Hardy Steinke, M.Div., who initially planted the seed of potential for a book.

Also, to my practical, guiding mentor, Joyce Meyer, whose teachings enriched my soil, feeding me daily with encouragement and rich nutrients from God.

Most importantly, to my supportive, encouraging, wise friend and Christian counselor for the last decade, Paul Lamar Baker, M.T.S., C.P.C., who tenderly and faithfully watered that invisible seed in me…for years and years.

Bless you, all, as you have blessed me beyond measure.

Thank you, Hardy, Joyce, and Lamb, from the bottom of my heart.

Acknowledgments

Editor: Paul Lamar Baker, M.T.S., C.P.C.

Thank you, my dear friend, for your belief in me and my story. Your belief sustained me throughout my many years of writing, especially when my own belief waned. Your natural gifting and love of words have truly blessed me!

To my supportive prayer partners: Paulette Omand, Phyllis Serrao, and Melissa Fletcher. You are all strong women who believe in the power of prayer. Thank you for your prayers of encouragement and protection.

To my avid proofreaders: Christine Bennett, Sandra Spencer, Hardy Steinke, Linda Malone, Judy McKinnon, Dorothy Fry, Fred and Linda Pope, Robert Bryant, Linda Kielbiski, Judy Gillis, Catherine Sonier, Darlene Howell, and Donna Tweney. Thank you all for your sincere interest, support, and suggestions.

To my genius technology helpers: Tracy Linkletter, Natasha Gillis, Myrna Binkley-Baker, Les Garant, Claire Cormier and Victoria Taylor. Thank you for giving me your amazing technology skills, saving me, repeatedly, from frustration and possible defeat!

To my wise publishing advisors: Joshua Hoffert, Chris Cairns, Diane Langille and especially Dr. Hendrick Visser and Elizabeth Bryant. Your words of encouragement cheered me on to the finish line! Thank you all for willingly sharing your publishing expertise with this newcomer.

Introduction

NOT DAILY BREAD…BUT DAILY DREAD

What dreadful, terrible thing could happen to me today?

Every single morning of my whole life began with feelings of dread, not fear…dread! When I say my entire life, it is because I cannot find the beginning place no matter how hard I try, no matter how far back I go in my memories. I would open my eyes in the morning, and dread awoke with me. It was something I faced every morning. It was how all my days started. This all-encompassing, embracing bad feeling was always there waiting for me. I would have to press through that feeling, push it aside, somehow get up, and pretend it did not have power over me. This struggle with dread was part of my morning routine. It kept me pinned in my bed until I mustered up enough mental courage to put my feet on the floor. You could not see me struggling; it is not like watching someone brush their teeth, but fighting dread was definitely part of my morning routine.

You see, when we are babies, toddlers, and young children, our parents provide us with food and shelter. Our next greatest need is safety. In my childhood, that major building block of protection did not exist. I was robbed. Within my immediate family lurked a pedophile, and also within my immediate family lurked a violent alcoholic. Terror and danger were constants in my childhood life. The people and the place where I should have felt the safest, my own family and home, was, in reality, for me, a minefield!

Part One:

Unbelievable!

The Horror and The Work

"Truth or reality

is avoided

when

it is painful.

Mental health

is an ongoing process

of dedication

to reality

at all costs.¹"

M. Scott Peck, M.D.

Chapter 1

MEETING MY TEDDY BEAR

I believe I was born a happy, trusting, loving, enthusiastic little girl. I had to have been. How else could I have known how to be that way? Eventually, it became a put-on…it became a front…it became the other me. The real me was full of rage, killer, vein-bulging rage. The real me hated people. But I did a mighty superb job covering it up, an Award-winning Academy performance!

When asked to share my story, at Cindy’s request—I will introduce you to her later—I immediately said yes because I am a woman of action! My family, friends, and children all refer to me as the Energizer Bunny. But immediately after agreeing to speak, up came all the negative self-talk within me…Unworthy was the banner under which I lived my life. I was full of fear, anger, sadness, and shame. Inside, I was always terrified, but I projected this absolutely confident person on the outside. I used excessive smiling and comedy a lot. I was a fake. I hated myself. I hated how my childhood experiences distorted my original true personality. I felt so unworthy that for most of my life, I spoke very, very quickly. I did not think I was worthy enough to take up anyone’s time to listen to what I might have to say.

* * * * * * * * * *

I would like to start this part of my story on the rainy but memorable and life-changing evening of Thursday, March 10th, 1983. I was in a huge conference center foyer with about thirty to forty people all mulling around, waiting for doors to open to a classroom. I scanned across the lobby, and I saw a man for the very first time, and I swear, I saw a golden aura from his shoulder to shoulder. I remember thinking I had never seen anything like that in my lifetime. I purposely turned away, and I continued chatting with some other classmates. When I turned back, to my amazement, that golden aura was still visible! I thought to myself, I must speak to…I must get to know…this guy. Well, Greg and I did the course together that evening.

It was pouring rain as we ran out to our cars at the end of the evening. We ended up sitting in my car, and we talked for hours after class. The next day from workplaces, we spoke again since Greg had left his writing pad portfolio behind in my car when he quickly jumped out. The next day, Saturday evening, we went dancing on our first date. I have never forgotten that golden halo from shoulder to shoulder. I can still close my eyes and see it. I did not know what it meant, but I knew it meant something. It had to. I was hopeful. Where might this chance meeting lead me? Could there indeed be something angelic about him?

Six months into our relationship, Greg told me, Cathy, you need to know that I will always love God more than I will ever love you. Now, what does a girl do with that, on a date six months into a relationship? So, at this point, I immediately informed Greg, Well, you need to know that I will always love my mother more than you. I worshipped my mother. My mother was everything to me. She was the most talented woman I knew. There was nothing she could not do, and she did it to perfection. Greg had God on a pedestal, and I had my mother on a pedestal. When I heard myself say the word worship, I remember thinking, Hmmm… he is worshiping God, and I am worshipping my mother. And believe me when I say that worship was definitely not a word in my everyday vocabulary at that time.

You see, in my life, I counted only on me. There was no God. I did not believe in God. I had no faith in a God. If anything, in my life, I was God. I took care of myself; it seemed I had my whole life.

Yet somehow, his God brought the two of us together. We have been together now for forty years.

Chapter 2

DR. LAWRENCE

My Starting Point

of Physical Healing

Just a year into our marriage, Greg and I moved to Etobicoke, where I was born and grew up, a beautiful, sought-after area of West Toronto. We had just buried my father. Greg never knew him. My father had a stroke when I was sixteen years old and proceeded to live in a nursing home for the next fifteen years, an invalid, completely paralyzed down his right side. The life we all knew was gone. No more walking, no more talking, no more use of his right arm and hand. The doctors said he would only live a year or two, but he lived for fifteen more years. My mother visited him faithfully every single day, driving thirty minutes each way for all those fifteen years, taking him her delicious, familiar homemade Hungarian food with every visit.

We no sooner buried my father, Joe, and my mother, Mary, started her seven-year journey with Alzheimer’s disease. I spent twenty-two years of my young adult life visiting my parents in nursing homes. A lot of what my friends are going through now is ancient history to me.

Suppose you were to see a snapshot of my life at that time in West Toronto. Greg and I were living in a solid, beautiful bungalow with a manicured yard, a heated in-ground swimming pool in the backyard, a Volvo in the driveway, plus real estate sales awards galore on the wall in my huge downstairs office. You could not help but think life was perfect. On the outside, life sure looked perfect. On the inside, it was a totally different story.

* * * * * * * * * *

I started taking care of my mother as her Alzheimer’s disease was progressing. I was always the good daughter. That is what she told everyone but me. The responsible one, the caregiver, the fixer of everybody’s problems, basically Miss People Pleaser. The overly responsible daughter. Give it to Cathy; she will know what to do with it. Phone Cathy; she will know how to fix it." So here I am now, moving my mother out of her home of thirty-two years, organizing it all myself, and I find out I am three months pregnant. I did not have a clue. I was so busy and stressed that I had no idea I was pregnant. Greg and I announced it to the whole wide world in Toronto, and we told the whole wide world in Timmins, his northern Ontario hometown too. We were on cloud nine. As much as I was going through with my mom, somehow, this made it all okay. One week later, in April 1989, at thirteen weeks (about three months), I miscarried, and my world crashed…just crashed.

I did not know what to do with myself. I was stressed and, stretched to the max, physically unhealthy. I had just lost a baby, but I just marched on as usual. Back to work…I am a realtor. I found myself working in a home (only five doors over from the house I grew up in, the same place I am presently moving my mother out of), now doing a morning agent’s open house. I noticed all these funny little bottles in this home, homeopathic remedies, tinctures, and all sorts of medicines I had never seen before in my life. Here I was, working in these clients’ house, going through my mess, projecting Miss Professional, and on the inside, I was a wreck, but a stoic wreck.

Speaking with my client later that same day, I learned he is a doctor in training. He is going to be a Naturopathic Doctor. He is in his final year at the Ontario Naturopathic College, soon to be Lawrence Seliski N.D. He asks, Why don’t you come and see me? You can come to the college, it is free, and you can be a student patient. Like a guinea pig, if you know what I mean. I was definitely interested. I booked an appointment, and I went to see Dr. Lawrence with my list of physical complaints.

There probably was some slight snickering as I entered the Ontario College of Naturopathy for the first time—polite muffled snickering. There I was in my fashionable, professional business real estate outfit complete with matching high-heeled shoes, perfectly coiffured hair well sprayed to last the day, make-up, and long colored, perfectly manicured nails, clip-clopping my way towards the reception desk. I was carrying my heavy briefcase, just in case I had to wait. I would be able to stay productive, very important. I did not realize yet that I had just entered a new world, a naturopathic world about which I knew nothing.

Lawrence asks me directly what my life’s major physical ailment has been. Easy to respond—headaches, headaches, headaches, migraines, migraines, migraines. I am thirty-four years old, and I have had headaches since I was so young that my little friends had no idea what a headache even was. But I had them; I was plagued with them, regularly, consistently. Dr. Lawrence eventually told me I was burnt out; my thyroid gland was shot, my adrenal glands were shot, that I had been living my life in fight or flight mode for decades. Not exactly in those words, but you get the picture.

In attempting to educate me, Lawrence explained that the mind, the body, and the spirit all worked together. Interesting concept, but right now, I am focused on the physical. My list, my ailments that needed immediate attention, in my opinion, were migraines, poor circulation, constipation, bad skin, grinding my teeth, irregular periods, and a desire to get pregnant again. Lawrence started to help me heal physically. He started me on a brand-new, exciting path.

First, I started to work on my body from the outside in, physically. Watching what went into my body; malnourishment from fast foods, pharmaceutical drugs, recreational drugs, coffee, tea, Coca-Cola, cigarettes, and, for some, add alcohol. It is incredible the damage we do to ourselves every day!

Together, we explored nutrition, hydrotherapy, homeopathy, Chinese medicines, herbs, vitamins, and books. I read all kinds of books on the human body. My new path led me to many helpful practitioners and various avenues of body therapy: massages, reflexology, iridology, Feldenkrais, colonics, shiatsu, acupuncture, aromatherapy, Bach Flower Remedies, just to name the ones I can remember.

Lawrence pointed me in a healthy new direction physically. Meeting him somehow felt like a turning point in my life, a right turn. I am sure meeting Lawrence has added life to my years and years to my life! I still practice the