Married to Fiji: A Tale of Love Based on a True Story

By Cristina San Martin

MARRIED TO FIJI is a true story about where it all began.I didn't know it at the time, but my journey to healing my wildheart started way back in 2008, at a time in my life when I quit my permanent government job on a whim, packed up my life in Canberra into a suitcase and moved to Fiji to live with the man that I had only spent a grand total of ten days with, whom I would go on to marry.
My story of love, loss and everything in between turned out to be the catalyst for my journey back to my heart, the healing I so desperately needed and didn't even know it.
Once upon a time, there lived a loud, fun, unconditionally loving, wildhearted beauty named Cristina. She was Australian of Latino heritage, with silky smooth chocolate locks and luscious hourglass curves to match.
One day, while on holiday, she met the island prince of her dreams; they fell in love under the tropical Fijian sun and went on to be married amongst the palm trees in complete island bliss. She ended up leaving her government job, swapping cocktails for kava and trading in her Canberra life for life in a Fijian village and lived happily ever after!
The end.
Except, that's not quite how it happened.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tellwell Talent
• Release date: Dec 20, 2023
• ISBN: 9780228855774

Cristina San Martin

CRISTINA SAN MARTIN is a glam spiritualist, writer and the host of Healing the Wildheart on YouTube, a channel dedicated to helping those needing to heal.Cristina was born and raised in Canberra and is of Latino heritage.In 2008 she traded in her government job for life in a Fijian village on her heart's whim, and there she found herself in love and immersed in island bliss, swapping cocktails for kava.Years later, when her marriage, work and life started to fall apart, she was forced to go within to find the answers she kept seeking externally. Cristina's life spiralled downward into darkness spanning over a decade. She was literally sick, tired, and saturated with merely existing, and surrendered, accepting she had no choice but to heal her inner wounds so that her outer world could change. She discovered her heart's message through the pain of depression and chronic illness and slowly began her healing journey to pull her life back into alignment.Cristina now helps others on their healing journey through her writing and YouTube channel, Healing the Wildheart, where she shares stories about her real-life experiences with love, pain and her own healing journey to encourage others to heal.Cristina is now based back in her hometown of Canberra and mama to two mini Wildhearts.

Book preview

Married to Fiji

Cristina San Martin

Married to Fiji

Copyright © 2023 by Cristina San Martin

The book is a reflection of the author’s personal experiences, as remembered by them. To maintain privacy, the names and characteristics of individuals mentioned in the book have been altered. The author has condensed some events and expanded on others. The dialogues have been recreated and supplemented as well. The views and opinions presented in the book are solely those of the author and not representative of any organisation or individual they may be associated with. While some of the content is based on factual events and the author’s interpretation, others may stem from their imagination. The publisher and associated parties are not liable for any consequences arising from the opinions or interpretations presented in the book.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Tellwell Talent

www.tellwell.ca

ISBN

978-0-2288-5578-1 (Hardcover)

978-0-2288-5579-8 (Paperback)

978-0-2288-5577-4 (eBook)

Table of Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgement

Chapter One - Prelude – My Wounded Heart

Chapter Two - Cristina in Canberra

Chapter Three - From Chance Blooms Love

Chapter Four - Bula Stranger

Chapter Five - The Fiji Express

Chapter Six - Like a Local

Chapter Seven - Never Mind the Bride, Where is Everyone?

Chapter Eight - Goodbye Fiji, Hello Canberra

Chapter Nine - Tropical Storm Unhappy

About the Author

Dedication

- For my mini-Wildhearts, Arie and Rubi.

Acknowledgement

To my entire cheer squad, my family and friends, who kept pushing me along, reminding me in my moments of despair that I should finish the book and that I COULD finish the book – thank you. Thank you for your support, encouragement, and belief in me!

Extra special gratitude to Sharon B, Nicole P, Vicky X and Anna Morris, ladies; what an incredible cheer squad! Thank you for your dedication and support. I was truly blessed to have you in my corner.

To Claudette Chant, thank you for believing in me and my projects. You are an incredibly talented Earth angel, and I am honoured to have you with me on the journey. I appreciate you so much - forever grateful!

And finally, with gratitude that spans lifetimes to my incredibly fierce mini-Wildheart, Arie, thank you! Without you, I would not still be here, Earthside, let alone sharing this fantastic story with the world – our story. You and your brother are my gifts from God and the motivation I needed to get me to the end. I love you forever.

Chapter One

Prelude – My Wounded Heart

It has taken me over a decade to finish writing Married to Fiji, the story that broke me but also contributed so much to who I am today. I am blessed and honoured to have lived this story alongside those I love and those who have taught me. The experience that was Married to Fiji was both the catalyst for my most profound healing and the painful thorn in the side of my existence for far too long. For many years I hid from the pain that this story of love and loss had wounded my heart with. I procrastinated with the most imaginative excuses. There was always somewhere to be, something to do, something to clean, someone to help, or something to cry about. One time, while in the middle of an awful fibromyalgia flare in my mid-twenties, I even went as far as to purchase expensive, for back then, voice recognition software so that I could narrate the story rather than type it due to the debilitating inflammation and pain in my hands. Sadly, even speaking those words on paper was not enough to get me across the line.

I always knew this crazy, adventurous, and love-filled story needed to be shared, as recounting it made so many people laugh. It brought so many smiles to faces over the years. ‘Dramatic’ would be the understatement of the decade. Still, regardless of how over-the-top unconventional, ridiculous (and then some) it was, my Fijian story was downright too good not to share. My cousin and I would spend hours on the phone going over the funny stories and events that made up my time in Fiji. She would take pleasure in me rehashing all the cringe-worthy, ludicrous, and absolutely preposterous events that went down on ‘Fiji-time’ and promptly utilise our story time conversations as an opportune reminder: "You have got to write a book, Cristina!" she would yell out while trying to catch a breath between fits of laughter.

You are crazy! I always responded. What the hell would I say? It just seemed unfathomable to me. How on Earth could I fit my entire experience in Fiji into a book filled with words that would likely lack the meaning felt by my heart? I’d be incapable; I would fail to describe the intensity and emotions, let alone accurately or sensibly portray much of anything else.

With Excitement as my middle name, I am no stranger to living on the edge of my seat. This description defines me today in the same way it has my whole life and is especially true of the summer of 2008. Although extreme sports have never been my thing, extreme everything else has! I’ve always been one for embracing the emotional thrills of the rollercoaster of life, tending to lean away from boring, tedious, or predictable things by default. Allergic to the mundane, the mere whispers of ‘stability’ or mention of ‘commitment’ would send me into a sweat, followed by spreading hives from toe to head. I couldn’t tell you if my ‘way’ of being resulted from my untamable Sagittarian spirit, my eccentric soul, or my wild-hearted ways of living life on my own terms, dancing to the beat of the Universe’s drum. Or whether my neurodiversity is to blame, stripping me of the ability to control my emotions and replacing that much-needed life skill with impulsivity and a deeply rooted thirst for dopamine. But it was as much a surprise to me as anyone else when I found myself locked into a boring government job surrounded by beige public servants, weaving in and out of crappy situationships and, even worse, relationships! Back then, I would have never guessed in a million years that my life would turn out the way it has, but it has. It has also led me to tell my story, which changed my life forever.

Had you told me all those years ago that I would go on to quit my comfortably paying permanent job, pack up my life, and leave everything behind to fly to a small island in the South Pacific to move in with a man I hardly knew (and his entire immediate family, all 12 of them), I would have laughed so hard in your face that I would have peed my pants; I hadn’t even had kids at that point, mind you. But heck, stranger things have happened, and I should bloody well know! Let’s cut straight to the punchline; that is precisely what I did.

Some people said I was crazy; some had ‘serious’ concerns for my mental health; and some just laughed, expecting nothing less. I have certainly lived up to my personality archetype this lifetime and given many people plenty to talk about. Still, the circle of life continues for everyone, and nothing ever stays the same. So naturally, I am not the same person I was in 2008 when my grand love affair with the majestic island of Fiji began. That time of my life, which I affectionately refer to as ‘the time I got sucked into the island vortex’, is a time I still hold dear to my heart. Despite the pain, sadness, and enormous amounts of grief I endured, in moments I genuinely thought would end me, fondness and nostalgia are my lasting memories.

People often ask me, What did you do while living in Fiji? Well, I had the time of my life! I partied on the regular, danced across Nadi, discovered villages, met great people, immersed myself in the culture, drank some kava, and enjoyed being loved up with my then Fijian-dreamboat-fiancé. Village life was fun much of the time. And sure, I would occasionally get into trouble for not following the village rules, claiming ignorance of village by-laws, an excuse some villagers were certainly not buying. I might sometimes have been unable to keep my thoughts or comments to myself, instead inappropriately sharing them at inopportune times with village elders. But for the most part, I sat under a coconut tree, ate mangoes all day, and gained a LOT of weight – ten kilos before the wedding alone! I like to blame the mangoes, but I ate a lot of ice cream too. I probably enjoyed the good life a little too much, no moderation.

Also, sharing a two-bedroom home with over nine other family members was an experience I won’t forget anytime soon; lucky for me, my fiancé Tomasi was one of ten siblings, so I always had company, entertainment, and people to have adventures with. Exploring the island and its beauty became one of my favourite pastimes, as did jumping off massive waterfalls and soaking in mud baths. Oh, did I mention partying? There was lots of partying. Fijians sure know how to have a good time. Honestly, the close relationships and bonds formed during my time in Fiji are probably what I cherish the most about my time there.

Over the years, Fiji became my second home. It brought a sense of warmth to my heart; unlike any other place I have ever spent time. Every time I touched down in Fiji and peered out the plane window, my heart would settle, and the restlessness would ease as I saw the palm trees racing alongside the runway. The green tropical climate and sea air would calm me in an instant. I had never understood the inexplicable love I developed for Fiji, so I stopped trying. Accepting that some things in life didn’t need to be explained but merely felt, I allowed the feelings to make themselves at home in my heart.

This book is my story – a story of love, loss, and finally coming home to my heart. I’d be lying if I said that the tiny island in the South Pacific that I once affectionately called my second home still didn’t hold a place in my heart, along with all those who graced me with their presence for the journey. So, I won’t. Lie, that is. My relationship status with Fiji is complicated. The complexity arose for many reasons, some of which are all too familiar; having pondered them for over ten years, they became known to me like the backs of my hands—others I may never understand.

I had only recently turned my attention to finishing this book; as I said before, life always seemed to put something in front of me. But if I’m being honest, before now, I couldn’t bring myself to retell the story in its entirety; my unhealed heart had me gagged, unable to do it any justice. And, well, I’ve been busy over the last ten or so years, you know, with ‘unfucking’ my life and all. Dealing with the mess after the mess that was my life and the never-ending carousel of shitshows never really left me with much spare time, let alone time to sit down, plan, and write a book.

As easy as it is to get lost in the whimsical appeal of daydreaming while sunbaking lying on the fine granules that hem the crystal waters of Nadi, it would be remiss of me not to share all the truths about my island adventure: the good, the bad and downright unbearably ugly, painful and soul shattering. As a result, this story has also helped shape so much of who I am today. Out of deep gratitude for the lessons bestowed upon me and the esteem I hold for those that helped teach me what it means to live life as it was intended, I decided I had no choice but to finish writing it. My decision was further supported by the knowledge that it would go on to help fill in the blanks about so much for my precious daughter. Blanks that her neurodiverse mother unintentionally left out of her upbringing.

So, fill in the blanks I have.

Chapter Two

Cristina in Canberra

Once upon a time, there lived a loud, fun, unconditionally loving, wild-hearted beauty named Cristina. She was an Australian of Latino heritage with silky smooth chocolate locks and luscious hourglass curves. One day while on holiday, she met the island prince of her dreams. They fell in love under the tropical Fijian sun and went on to be married amongst the palm trees in complete island bliss. She ended up leaving her government job, swapping cocktails for kava, trading in her Canberran life for life in a Fijian village, and living happily ever after!

The end.

Except, that’s not quite how it happened. So here is how it really went down.

_______________

My Mama and Papa were both Chileans; Mama grew up in busy Santiago and Papa in the coastal town of Llolleo. Papa got to his late teens and swiftly applied to Canada for a visa, as life in Chile seemed too mundane for his adventurous spirit. Except, the Canadians weren’t thrilled about this bright-eyed teenager full of energy and hope, who also happened to sport a mad afro, even if this Latino was on fleek. As impressive as his sky-high hair was, the Canadians denied the visa. As fate would have it, he ended up following his cousin out to Australia to start a new life at the tender young age of nineteen. Five years later, he