Joking Dog Training

By Yuriy Ivantsiv

The book is intended for a wide audience of readers who are just beginning their acquaintance with the dog. Every dog owner must understand that he or she is fully responsible for the life as well as the physical and mental health of his or her pet. The animal must be controlled. This is necessary for the safety of both the owner and other members of the society in which it lives. Therefore, as soon as a puppy comes into the house, an important and responsible process of its socialization and education begins, which gradually grows into a real training of an adult dog. The book shows the basic techniques of training a dog, performing simple commands.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Yuriy Ivantsiv
• Release date: Jul 17, 2021
• ISBN: 9781005416324

Book preview

Yuriy Ivantsiv

JOKING DOG TRAINING

Written, cover and illustrations by Yuriy Ivantsiv

Copyright © 2023 Yuriy Ivantsiv. All rights reserved.

Smashwords Edition

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Table of Contents

Introduction

Little Known Information about the Relationship Between Dog and Child

The Morale of Your Dog

Behavior and Tendencies of a Four-Legged Artist

Breed Choice of Four-Legged Artist

Hike for the Future Artist

Basics of Raising a Four-Legged Artist

The Practice of Raising a Four-Legged Artist

Pre-Training of a Four-Legged Artist

Error Correction for a Four-Legged Artist

Basics of Circus and Playful Training

Cosmetics of a Four-Legged Artist

Circus and Joking Drums

Circus and Joking Training

Professional Orientation

The Health of a Four-Legged Artist

Buy yourself a dog. It's the only way

to acquire sincere love for money.

Introduction

We are always responsible for those we tame.

Saint-Exupéry

Nowadays, few people can be surprised by a dog mathematician who manipulates with simple arithmetic actions. Of course, a person far from dog breeding does not understand how the dog calculates the sum, subtracts or divides the numbers, bark reporting the result. And if the dog brings in the right number in the teeth, it is a real delight to know the secret trainers.

Many years ago, the famous Soviet trainer Yuri Durov claimed that he could pass thoughts to his dog from a distance. Scientists placed the dog and the trainer in neighboring rooms and started checking. The experimenter wrote a number on a piece of paper and showed it to Durov. He tensed up, brought his palms to his temples and... the dog in the next room barked the right number of times.

This trick is just a seemingly complex one. Any circus worker familiar with ultrasonic whistles can easily solve it. Another trick Durov got, even, in a scientific journal on bionics, which discussed the possibility of telepathic communication between animal and human.

Durov was brought to an unfamiliar house. Leaving the dog at the entrance, he and the experimenter entered the apartment and received several tasks.

So, he said, asking again, therefore, my dog must go around the table, jump on the chair, lean his paws on the wall above the chair, jump into another room and jump on a chair near the piano. Then he has to step on the keys, jump on the floor and leave the apartment?

Durov went outside, squatted in front of the dog and inspired the dog with a sequence of actions. Then he would get up and send the dog to the apartment. He himself stayed on the street. And to the surprise of the observers, the dog did exactly what he did!

If I add to this that sitting in front of the dog the great trainer did not inspire his thoughts to the dog at all, but quietly said, Track!, perhaps the sophisticated dog handlers will understand the essence of the dog's future behavior. And the fact that the dog pawed at the wall and knocked on the keys is just an attempt to reach the nose to the smell marks left by Durov's hand on the wall and piano.

However, we will talk more about all this and much more in the relevant chapters of the book.

The main thing that the future trainer must understand is that there are no miracles in animal training. In the U.S., there are animal trainers... mice and rats, who, by the way, make good money by supplying their scientists animals in the film industry. And just because a mouse washes on command doesn't mean it's so trained. It's just that its owner touches the mouse's face with his finger and the animal rushes to wash away the unwanted smell.

Many training techniques are based on knowing the laws of animal behavior and skillfully using those laws. For example, a famous trick with a piggy rolling out a carpet or leafing through a book is performed with pieces of food rolled up in a carpet or hidden between sheets of decorative book. And a raccoon wipes the laundry, because in natural conditions it always rinses food in water.

Everybody has seen how the cat, having done its work, buries excrement on the parquet floor, how the dog spins before going to bed, dwarfs the high grass. All this is a hereditary memory of wild ancestors, which, by the way, is also in man (you were never frightened in the night burning eyes, you never flinched when you saw the headlights of a car in the distance; this fear is the memory of our monkey ancestor of a terrible enemy - a leopard). And at the same time, all these habits are the basis of some tricks of spectacular dressing.

The famous Russian trainer Kuklachev in most cases uses the habits and natural skills of his pets, impressing the whole world with a cat circus. By the way, I taught my cat to sit on command and give voice. I'll say, Sit, - sit down, snap my fingers - meows. And I don't see anything complicated about it. This cat, by the way, the word: can't understands better than some service dogs command Don’t do that!

In the U.S., there are trainees for insects, such as spiders, and grasshoppers, who also work in the film business. And if you're holding a hamster, a wavy parrot, or a guinea pig, it's not bad to teach your pet funny things. But it's still on the project. In this book, we'll limit ourselves to dogs.

Since the book is largely focused on teenagers and all lovers of animals, then I want to start it with a small chapter on guys and animals.

Go to Table of Contents

Little Known Information about the Relationship Between Dog and Child

We be of one blood, ye and I.

Rudyard Kipling

Often parents will never let their child have a dog. Their arguments are always monotonous: the dog's hair, dirt, who will take care of it, we ourselves have nothing to eat, and there's your dog, you're already bad at learning, and the dog will distract you from class ...

Here are a few paragraphs that parents should read and then let their children read. And, of course, to have a puppy.

Statistics say that families with dogs are three times less likely to die from cardiovascular disease. It's pretty understandable - the animal neutralises stress. But it's also twice as rare for colds in these families. The dog's breath creates a kind of bactericidal environment in the apartment.

Children who have a dog, have a more stable psyche, better development, less sick. Their moral qualities are higher, as becoming the patron of the dog, the child treats it as gently, thoughtfully and generously as adults to him. In turn, the dog its unconditional loyalty to compensate for the child moments of risk, protecting him from selfish tendencies.

The place your dog has chosen for his rest is the most favorable place in your apartment for the bed, it has the most positive biomagnetic position. In addition, your dog absorbs the negative biofield, saving your child from the harmful radiation of evil, the influence of dark forces.

A dog's anxious behaviour is never unreasonable. He is able to anticipate earthquakes, various natural disasters and accidents. And not only anticipate, but sometimes compensate for them, and thus save a person.

That's why, for a child, the dog is his first friend.

In the Indian epos, the legend of Christ was given a peculiar interpretation. As if Jesus was walking in the jungle, and after him ran a wild dog and bit his legs. The Savior endured for a long time, then he stopped and began to speak: I condemn you to love a man. The constant desire to be a true friend of man - that's what distinguishes the dog from all other animals.

...Alaska's white silence is dragged by a sled. There's a body in the Narts that's still alive, but completely exhausted. A blizzard caught them all of a sudden. The dogs lost their way, it would be more reasonable to break the temporary bivouac and wait for the blizzard, but in the village were waiting for the counter-diphtheria serum - a small box wrapped in reindeer skins. Hard breath, blood drops from the knocked down legs. A man was running beside the Narts. One by one the dogs fell to the snow, the man cut the buildings and drove the harness forward again. He knew how hard and hopeless children die from diphtheria. But the man was exhausted. He fell into the sledge and froze with a hoarse, breathing coma. And Balto, the roasted leader, led the sled further. He didn't know about serum and diphtheria. He knew there was a master lying in the sledge and maybe he was dying. And he was taking him to people. And took him out! History hasn't kept the name of the penitentiary, the other dogs. The Balto in Alaska was a monument. Not by a glimpse of his fantasy that helped him find his way in a blizzard, but by his golden heart. A special rescue command removed Titus' sheepdog from a rock in the Alps. She spent a week without food after she found her owner, mountaineer Daniel Joria, under a snowslide and dug him up from under the snow. The climber was saved.

Among the most worthy four-legged rescuers is Ajax, as they say, the hero of Dakhstein. In the Dakhstein mountains, an avalanche in 1954 caught 11 schoolchildren and teachers on their way. In the rescue command was a shepherdess with the name of an ancient Greek hero. Ajax worked for 96 (!) hours in a row. He scraped with his claws and tore the fallen snow until he fell from exhaustion. His paws were erased to the bone and frozen. Ajax was taken to a mountain hut for a bandage. But the dog couldn't be kept under the roof. He threw himself at the locked door, whining, and as he broke out, he rushed to the place of the collapse and dug up another man.

There's a monument to Saint Bernard Barry in Paris. For 12 years, he performed a difficult service in the mountains. He saved the lives of 40 (!) people. Forty first was a soldier of Napoleon's army, who broke through home after the defeat near Moscow. Barry dug him out of the snow and stuck to him with his furry side, keeping him warm. The man woke up, got scared, shook a gun with his hand ... Dummy Barry is one of the most expensive relics of the Bern Museum.

What breed was the Baskerville dog? And the White Fang? What about Mumu? How many scents does a sniffer-dog have? How far away? Could a dog die of longing for its master? All these questions are answered by a very ancient science, film science. Cinos - in Greek - nose. The science of dogs has been around for a long time. Two thousand years BC at the court of the Chinese emperors were dog scientists. By the way, deified, shaggy Pekinese under the fear of the death penalty had no right to support anyone but the imperial family. Cinology does not stand still. Except traditional - shepherds, watchmen, hunters - dogs have to master new duties. For the discovery of iron ores, the Finnish State Council awarded the German shepherdess Lari with a monetary prize. In the Soviet Union, on the initiative of Professor Yuri Vasiliev, spaniels, foxsters and German sheepdogs worked in the geological exploration field. They have already discovered a number of iron, nickel, copper and mercury deposits in Karelia, Kazakhstan, Tuva, Tajikistan and the North Caucasus.

There are now over 400 breeds of dog. The others are so unlike each other that it seems unlikely that they belong to the same zoological species. How do you put a Mexican chihuahua dog next to each other, which can be placed in a tea glass and a hundred kilograms of mastiff? Dogs are looking for criminals and drugs, minerals and mines. Pickles saved Britain's prestige. This mongrel dog tracked down a stolen gold cup of the goddess Nicky, which is awarded to the football world champions.

Dogs save people in the sea, under snowslides, pulled out of burning buildings, found in areas affected by earthquakes.

Can a dog testify in court?

It's not an idle question. For many countries this question is worthless, because judges do not get their heads screwed on by such problems, but for the US justice officials it is a question of questions. For example, the courts of appeal in Kentucky and Georgia solve such cases positively. They allow dogs in court and use evidence extracted from them, but under certain conditions.

The dog must be thoroughbred and registered at the American Kennel Club and must follow the trail from the scene. It must be experienced, tested for reliability, have a good reputation and maintain the truth. These are the requirements of the court for a dog to testify in court.

How does it happen in practice?

Let's turn to the American magazine Polis, which gladly tells how the attempt to discredit in court the dog Captain Madiken, one of the experts on official dog breeding in the country.

Asking questions, the lawyer tried to disqualify the dog Madiken, not agreeing with his claim of purity of the dog. The lawyer had no other claims.

But the lawyer's attempts were doomed to failure. The court declared: The dog has been properly qualified.

And what about the human rights whose guilt is claimed by such an impartial witness?

There is no answer to this question. In the meantime... In the meantime, let's trust the magazine we cited:

- Witness Red Eagle, swear you will tell the truth and only the truth.

The witness cheerfully waved his short tail and cheerfully waved...

The truth has prevailed.

Let us neither refute nor affirm the position of this court. After all, it is up to the court to decide who and to what extent to believe, based on the circumstances of the case. And with the court, as the eternal axiom says, you can't argue.

Let's consider some historical facts related to a man's understanding of the motor and psychic abilities of a dog.

I

A famous Mexican hypnotist, who performs under the pseudonym Alejandra, came to the police and offered his services to solve the murder when he heard that his only witness was the dog of murdered Maria Alvarez.

I don't believe it," said District Attorney Juan José Marco at a press conference in Guadalajara. Before our eyes, the dog fell asleep under the influence of hypnosis, and a minute later the hypnotist began talking about the circumstances of the murder. The police suspected that Maria Alvarez had been killed by her husband Gerardo, but had no proof.

We found the bullet that shot Maria Alvarez in the back of the head at close range," said the prosecutor. - There was no sign of a struggle or even just an invasion of the house. It's as if it was a home invasion. We knew there was an acute conflict between Maria and her husband. However, we did not find the weapon that killed the woman, and her husband claimed that when it happened, he was not home.

Hypnotist Alejandr works with the circus and the zoo. However, he's never been involved in criminal cases before.

There are people who know how to make contact with animals," says the hypnotist. - I relate to such people, although I do not know how it works. I just feel it. Poca - that's Alvarez's dog's name - has been under a lot of stress so far. The dog has obvious signs of depression. Alejandro spent several hours with the hypnotized dog, revealing the details of a fatal night. Poca was still in the room when the family scandal started. When Gerardo hit his wife, the dog jumped on him and bit his right elbow. The owner threw her aside. Then he took the gun out of his pocket, aimed it quietly