Letters to God

By Krystal Doolittle

What if all it took was a change in perspective?

Rowan MacAllister never realized that she had become stuck in a boring cycle in her life until one day everything comes crashing down. Her best friend insists that they go to a new local psychic shop as a way to break out of the rut she'd been stuck in. But Rowan finds herself receiving wise advice that she takes to heart. She should start writing letters to let out everything that had been bottled up for far too long.

Penning a letter to the higher power she believes in, she finds strange things happen the next day along with meeting an older woman named Mary. The two become fast friends and Mary seems to unknowingly address the questions and problems she poses in the letters that Rowan continues to write while they are apart. The coincidences become too much for Rowan who begins to wonder if perhaps Mary IS God.

Rowan searches for answers while putting the pieces of her life back together. Meanwhile learning that her thoughts truly do alter her reality and that sometimes those things you think are a curse can turn out to be what leads you to live your best life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Krystal Doolittle
• Release date: Nov 13, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223686811

Krystal Doolittle

Krystal has been creating stories most of her life, but only recently begun to brave the world of professional writing. She loves a great joke, peaceful mornings and a nice, cold glass of orange juice.

Book preview

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Iwas really starting to hate waking up every morning. Going to my dead-end job was the highlight of my day, if you could call it that, and then it was all downhill from there. That particular morning didn’t start so bad, though. I woke to the scent of bacon frying and coffee brewing floating through the house from the kitchen. Mmm , I thought. This is a nice start. My stomach grumbled that it agreed.

Tossing the blankets back, I laid there for a moment, not really looking forward to the day. Not that anything horrible was planned for the day. It was more of a general feeling that I’d come to have about every work day. It would most likely suck. I knew you should try to start the day with a positive thought but the best thing I could think of was that it was Thursday. Just one more day and it would be the weekend. Not that I had plans, of course. But still. I didn’t have to go to work. That was all I needed in order to look forward to it. Maybe I could find a new show to binge watch for a while or start a new book? The weekend was stuffed full of potential.

I sat up in bed and swung my legs over the side, looking down at them. I poked at the fat on the inside of my thighs and the little roll that appeared on my belly. I need to start working out, I sighed as I stood up. Straightening my tank top and shorts that I slept in, I hurried to the bathroom. As I sat on the toilet, I wondered what my day would end up being like. I was one of a handful of receptionists at a local law firm, so my day was mainly filled with people calling either in need of help or angry on average. Sometimes both. Not always the best way to spend your day. Finishing up, I washed my hands at the sink before looking at myself in the mirror.

My wavy red hair wasn’t that bright orange most thought of when they heard the term redhead. Instead, it was a deep, fiery red that I happened to be fairly proud of. Tugging a brush through it, I observed my freckles on my fair skin, which were a little more obvious across the bridge of my too-small nose. I wasn’t terribly tall, somewhere around 5 '6", so just about average. But my husband was a taller man that made me feel small in comparison. His size could make me feel more delicate than I actually was.

Leaving the bathroom, I went to the closet and found a dark green wrap dress to wear. It was comfortable and my favorite, so I felt a little lighter in my step after sliding on some shoes and heading to the kitchen. Perhaps today wouldn’t be so bad after all? It was at least starting out fairly well.

Good morning, my husband, Charlie said as I entered. He was standing in front of the stove, cooking our delicious smelling breakfast. I came up beside him, gently placing my hand on his back as we exchanged a kiss.

Good morning, I responded. I poured myself a mug of coffee before slipping past him and heading for the kitchen table. We chatted idly as he cooked and I browsed social media on my phone. It was the same thing we did every morning.

Charlie was a good man. Handsome, but not in an in your face, sort of way. His dark hair was slightly wavy on top and his blue eyes stood out with their dark lashes. He had what my mother always called a caring face. He often had a little stubble on his chin because he hated shaving. Not that it bothered me. I always kind of preferred him with it.

I was thinking I can pick up our favorites from Tony’s tonight for dinner, he said as he carried two plates to the table, setting one down in front of me. He’d made eggs, bacon and toast this morning.

That sounds good, I nodded. We haven’t had Tony’s for a while.

Charlie started talking about something he’d seen online this morning, but I couldn’t seem to focus. How many times had we done this exact thing? Like we were stuck in some sort of loop, just doing what we had to in order to get through the day. Was this how life was supposed to be? Day in and day out, the same old thing. No excitement, no wonder. Just plugging away until we die? The idea wasn’t a pleasant one. Not that my life was bad, but there was something mind numbing about monotony.

Rowan? Charlie asked, his eyes filled with concern. Are you okay? Did you have a bad dream?

I- I don’t know, I said shaking my head. I’m sorry, what were you saying?

It’s not a big deal, he said shaking his head and taking another bite of his breakfast. He seemed to really look at me as he was chewing. You sure you’re feeling okay?

I think so, I said as I put my phone down. Maybe I just needed to eliminate the distractions so I could focus on him. I think I just didn’t sleep very well.

Then you better have another cup of coffee before you leave. Wouldn’t want you to fall asleep at your desk, he said as he continued to eat.

I downed my coffee as I ate breakfast and got a refill before Charlie kissed the top of my head and left for work. He had a farther commute than I did, so he had to leave a little earlier, giving me the house to myself. I didn’t mind having those few moments every morning on my own. It was a peaceful way to start each day. I only wished I could do something more productive with it. But those twenty minutes always seemed to fly by and before I knew it, I had to head out too.

It was the same kind of day I’d been having for the past five years. Nothing ever changed. Just wake up and then go to work. Eventually coming home to dinner and some tv or a book. It was whatever the exact opposite of super exciting and thrilling would be, and that was my life. Rinse and repeat. Twenty four hours a day of pretty much the same thing day in and day out. Sure, sometimes my husband and I went to the movies rather than sit at home or we would go out to eat instead of cooking. But those aren’t big changes. No, that’s what you do so you don’t go completely mad without even realizing it. Those were your brain’s way of keeping you sane.

Charlie and I were good together. Of course, we’d fight from time to time, but who doesn’t? We had grown content and sleepy in our life together. I had always thought that was the goal, but now that I was there, something didn’t seem right. It was as if I’d been drugged and the past however many years it had been now had simply just disappeared. Where did they go? I’d only meant to take the receptionist job as a temporary thing. Something to get me by between jobs, but at some point, I stopped looking. Why?

I went on with my work day, idly noticing the world I was surrounded by. The city was constantly busy. Sitting at my desk, I could see the cars constantly driving by on the road outside. Everyone was in a hurry to get wherever they were going. I answered calls and filed papers. I made small talk and smiled politely to anyone that walked by until it was time to leave. Then I climbed back in my car and headed home. The whole day there was this niggling feeling in my brain that wouldn’t leave me alone. Like a gnat that would buzz around your face, unwilling to give me any sort of respite. I could feel that something had shifted, but I wasn’t sure what exactly it was.

At the end of the day, as I was getting ready to pull out of the parking lot and turn right to head home, I paused. Wasn’t I complaining about always doing the same thing? The self-help books I loved to read always said to talk less and do more. Time to do something different. It was small, but the act of changing my turn signal to turn left and pulling across traffic made me smile. Like a small crack had formed in the shell that had become my life. It was a small thing, but it was my first step in attempting to break free of the monotony.

Driving that different way, suddenly I wanted to make more changes. Turning off the soft pop playlist on my phone, I leaned forward and switched my stereo over to the radio and found the station I used to listen to in high school. When I heard Sweet Child o’ Mine by Guns n’ Roses come on, I laughed. I hadn’t heard that song in ages. Turning it up, I started to sing along. I belted right along with Axel doing my best impression of him. I even caught myself dancing in my seat a little as I turned down a different road to find a new way home.

The song ended and a commercial came on and I caught a glimpse of my eyes in the rearview mirror. They were sparkling and seemed far greener than they had when I’d last seen my reflection. It was then that I started to realize I needed more of this. More change and excitement. Maybe even just a little more fun? The kind where you let your hair down and just be who you are, no apologies or regrets. That’s who I wanted to be. I wanted to be one of those women who were so unapologetically herself that others were inspired to do the same. Those women didn’t live boring lives. They reached out and took what they wanted or reached for bigger and better goals. I needed to do that. Somehow.

I felt as if I were glowing when I finally pulled into the driveway. Grabbing my purse, I climbed out of my car and continued to hum the song that was on the radio when I shut it off. Unapologetic by Halestorm could be my new anthem, I decided. I resolved to add it to my playlist. My spirits were so high, I felt as if I were barely touching the sidewalk as I walked toward the front door of our house.

As I opened the door, I was happy to be home. Which was almost an odd feeling, being so happy. When did I get to where I wasn’t happy? The fact that such a simple emotion had somehow escaped me this long was eye-opening.

Hey, Row, Charlie said as I stepped inside. He was sitting on the couch, watching something full of action on tv. A car exploded and