Cowboy Doctor: The Hot Cowboys, #2

By Lexi Banks

Hello. I'm Marshall, and I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober for years, but I turned to the bottle after I left the Army. 

Comfort. I thought the liquor would help me with my PTSD nightmares and memories. A few short years overseas as an Army doctor gave me a lifetime of nightmares.

Now I work as a rural doctor back in my home state of Texas. Checking on old folks at home lets me feel good again and reminds me that I can still save lives. It's not glamorous, but I'm still making a difference.

If only the nightmares would go away…

There may be a light that can burn away that horrible darkness: Sienna. The beautiful ranch owner kept pursuing me, and I was so tired of pushing away any chance of happiness because of the dark cloud of my past that keeps choking me.

It turns out she's got a secret of her home, and it risks destroying all the happiness I thought I found.

Damn it. I'm not ready to give up yet. Not on that beautiful, wonderful woman.

• Language: English
• Publisher: DM
• Release date: Jul 15, 2019
• ISBN: 9781393049418

Book preview

Chapter 1

Marshall

Click Here To Get My FREE Book For A Limited Time

Bang!

I jumped at the sound of what sounded like a gunshot and cowered to the floor. My heart was pounding and sweat was pouring down my face. It took several minutes for me to realize that the only thing I had heard was the backfire of a car that had driven by and not a gunshot at all. I was glad that I had worked it out so quickly.

It was early in the morning, and I had been half asleep when I’d heard the sound. That was the problem with early mornings; the still air meant that most sounds were elevated. They seemed louder than they really were, and I’d always had an overactive imagination. I used to think that was a positive thing to have, but now I wasn’t so sure.  It wasn’t the first time it had happened to me, but it still took me by surprise. After all this time you’d think I’d be used to the usual sounds around me, but I wasn’t sure if my fears would ever leave me.

From the outside, I was a very relaxed guy, the sort of guy you’d want around in an emergency. I came across as cool, calm, and collected. It wasn’t a complete lie, anyway; that was how I was before I’d gone to Iraq. Deep down, however, I was a bundle of nerves, my eyes constantly darting around in fear.

I sighed, got out of bed, and stretched. It was a hot and dry morning, but I was still desperate for a cup of coffee. Someone had told me to stay away from coffee. After all, caffeine was probably not the best thing to have in terms of keeping the nerves at bay. But having a cup of tea in the morning was just not the same. Anyway, now that I knew it was just a car that I’d heard, I was more relaxed. I made my way over to the kitchen and made myself a cup.

I sat on the front porch, drinking my coffee and breathing in the silence. I loved early mornings and late nights before the busy day took hold. I had learned to appreciate these moments of stillness and hold onto them for dear life. I knew how fast they could all be taken away. I had spent far too long waking up to the sounds of screams in Iraq, and I knew how precious mornings like this were. Sometimes the quiet surprised me, and I wished I had a way to bottle it up. How great it would’ve been to have had this sort of peace while serving. Perhaps a few mornings of quiet would have changed everything for me.

If I closed my eyes, I could still hear the deafening shrieks around me. A sound like that never leaves you. Although, as much as I enjoyed the quiet, I sometimes preferred the noise of the day. It was easy to hide behind the noise, and if there was one thing I was getting adept at these days, it was hiding. During the day I could sometimes forget about my problems. But, on early mornings when I didn’t think about it, those were the times that I held onto the most.

I took a few more sips and tried to put the memories behind me. I was getting better at pushing them aside, and for the most part, I usually woke up in a good mood now. It was only when I woke from a bad dream or a loud noise that I found myself transported back in time. I wondered what it would be like having someone to talk to in the mornings. I was almost 40, but I had a feeling I would never meet anyone. It wasn’t like I was trying anyway. I had far too much baggage to pass on to someone else. Imagine me waking up and screaming from the sound of a car backfiring. No, I couldn’t do that to someone else. I was better off alone, and all women were better off without me. I was fine, though. It wasn’t that easy to go out and meet women in the first place. I wouldn’t try internet dating, and people had long ago stopped trying to set me up with someone. I’d been called a hopeless case by more than one person, and I was fine with that.

Thankfully, I didn’t have much time to be alone, and as I looked at the time, I realized I should get ready. I had an appointment to get to that morning, and I never allowed myself to be late. Tardiness had never been a quality of mine, and I didn’t intend for that to change. It was something my patients loved best about me. I finished my coffee and shoved two muffins down my throat. I should probably have eaten something a little more nutritious, but it was better than nothing. I would attempt something a bit more wholesome for my evening meal to make up for it.

Once I was showered and changed, I grabbed my doctor’s bag and headed out. Before going into the army I had worked as an emergency doctor and trauma surgeon, and I’d once been named in the top 10 surgeons in the state of Texas. Now, I performed house calls all over the country, and did my best to help as many people as I could. I still had an office that I went to where a few other doctors worked from too, but I very rarely went there these days. The house calls were becoming more and more frequent now that the word had gotten out. Being busy was of the utmost importance to me. A fellow doctor had told me how crazy I was to do house calls. He told me that the waste of time was also a waste of money, but I’d laughed it off. I enjoyed seeing the look of pleasure on my patients’ faces when I made the effort to go out and see them. Also, considering I was one of the few doctors who did this, I was kept surprisingly busy.

I knocked on Mr. Johnson’s door and smiled as the elderly man opened up for me. It wasn’t the first time I had been to see him, and he always offered me the biggest welcome. Most people weren’t happy to see their doctors, but Mr. Johnson was an exception to the rule. I had a feeling he was the sort of guy who was always happy to see anyone who knocked on his door. He’d admitted to me once before that he was lonely, and I got the impression that he was once a social butterfly. He had a great energy about him, and I was happy to see him again too. He made me forget about my nightmare from that morning, and I would always be grateful to anyone who could do that for me. It was like he was giving me a gift without realizing it.

Howdy, Mr. Johnson. You’re looking fit and healthy, I said to him as we made our way inside. He was an old man, but he moved around with a surprising grace that was uncommon in someone his age. Like me, he was wearing a cowboy hat, and just like me, I could tell that it was as much a part of who he was than his own skin. The hat seemed molded to him, as if he’d been born with it. I think the hat was how we had bonded in the first place, and I was glad to see that he was still wearing it today.

He bowed and tipped his hat in a dramatic fashion. Why thank you. Sometimes I battle to believe that I’m 80. I still feel 60 most of the times. Even younger at times. I have to keep reminding myself that I’m now an old man. Isn’t that depressing? What a terrible thing to have to tell yourself each day.

Well, you look great so it’s not depressing at all. You might as well just tell yourself that you are younger and start believing it. I know many younger people who would give anything to look as good as you. No jokes. What’s your secret? I asked him. I saw many different patients in a given week, and even though most of them were younger than Mr. Johnson, none of them looked as good as he did. He had a twinkle in his eyes that I knew would never leave him. Sometimes I envied that look of his. I used to have one too, but I no longer saw it when I looked in the mirror now.

Red wine, he said, and pointed to his drinks cabinet. A glass a day.

I chuckled. Wonderful advice. I’ll be sure to take that under consideration. I’m glad you didn’t tell me it was just genetics. Red wine gives me something tangible to copy. So, what can I do for you today? I didn’t want to tell him that I didn’t drink. There were some things that I just didn’t share with everyone.

Oh, just a routine check. I figured I’m at that age where a good check-up every so often is not a bad thing. Better to catch things early. I hope you don’t mind coming all the way here for something as simple as that.

Ah, if only more patients were like you. I don’t mind at all. It’s my job, after all. Okay then, let’s have you checked out. Next time I should come in the evening so we can follow the check-up with a glass of that age-defying wine of yours. I wasn’t sure why I said that. Probably because I thought it wouldn’t actually happen. If it did, I would have to explain that I didn’t drink.

He laughed. I like that idea a whole lot.

I went through the regular check-up, making notes as I went along and comparing them to the notes I’d taken the previous visit. It was a habit of mine to keep a record of everything I did, because you never knew when you were going to need that information. I checked his heart, his lungs, his blood pressure, and everything in between. The whole process didn’t take too long, and I was done a lot sooner than I expected.

So, what’s going on in there, doc? he said to me as I put all my tools away. Am I okay?

You’re more than okay! Everything is looking great, I assured him. In fact, your results are slightly better than the last time I saw you. You know, maybe you’re the new Benjamin Button. Maybe you’re getting younger every day.

He chuckled. I sure hope so. I’m not ready to go. Well, that is very good news, then. I really do appreciate you coming out here to see me like this. I cannot tell you how much better it is not having to go out to see a doctor. Without my car, I’m pretty hopeless. This makes life a whole lot easier.

I waved the compliment away. The patients were always so grateful for the effort I put in to see them, but it wasn’t a big deal at all for me. I felt bad that they had had so many bad experiences with doctors in the past. There were some great guys in the profession, but a few bad ones always put a damper on our name. Oh, that’s okay. It’s really not such a big deal. I don’t mind it at all. I like making house calls, anyway. If it can ease the patient, then I don’t see why not. Anyway, I like driving around. I’ve always enjoyed it. There’s something about an open road that does me good. Strangely enough, I never thought about the war when I was in the car, even though I was all alone with my thoughts. It had the opposite effect on me and seemed to calm me down. Sometimes I played music, and sometimes I listened to an audiobook.

"No, you’re too modest. It is a big deal, and you’re one of the very few doctors in the country willing to make house calls. I know how much of your time driving around must take. The other doctors just want to cram in as many patients as possible, but you actually make the time. I never feel rushed when I’m with you. Also, it helps that you don’t charge as much as everyone else."

I smiled. Well, that’s true, but I was lucky enough to get my medical education all paid up courtesy of the U.S. Army. Other doctors spend years trying to pay off their school loans. I can actually afford to cut people deals. I’m glad that I can give this service to you a bit cheaper. I wasn’t sure why I always felt the need to defend my fellow doctors. Some of them were good folks, and just because they wanted to make money didn’t make them bad people. It was different for me. I didn’t have a family. I didn’t need as much money as everyone else.

Afford it or not, you still made the choice to give your time to your patients. I’m telling you, Doctor Black, most doctors wouldn’t do the same. I’ve been around long enough to have met some greedy doctors over the years.

Well, thank you for the compliment then. You do know that you can call me Marshall, right?

He laughed. I know. You said that the last time too. It feels so disrespectful, though.

Not at all.

Maybe next time. For now, I prefer Doc or Doctor Black.

I chuckled. I couldn’t really blame him. I still called him Mr. Johnson. So, is there anything else I can help you with?

No, this is fine. It’s always such a relief to hear that everything is okay. I am generally not the sort of guy who worries about things like this, but every now and again I just can’t help myself. Then, once I start worrying, it has a domino effect, and I’m convinced I’m dying. Thank you so much for coming out here to see me. I hope you get to relax now that you’re done here.

Oh, don’t worry, most people are like that. It’s always best to have it checked out. And never go online for your symptoms. I have patients who are always trying to self-diagnose, and that is always the worst thing to do. I have a few more patients to see. I think I’ll be busy most of the day.

Oh, you work too hard, Doctor Black. You should take some time off. Put your feet up. Drink some more wine.

I laughed. I wish. I need to keep busy.

He nodded, and I knew he understood why. I was grateful that he didn’t try to get into a conversation with me about it. The last thing I wanted to do was to talk about what happened in the war. It was always at the edge of my consciousness, but I preferred not to bring it up. Instead, he shook my hand and walked me to the front door to wave me goodbye. I was at my car when I heard him call my name.

Yes?

Hang on. I have something for you, he said, and I watched as he rushed back into the house. When he came back, he was carrying a bottle of wine. For you. To say thank you for everything. This one is one of my favorites.

I smiled nervously. Why was I such an idiot? I was going on about wine with him earlier when I should’ve just told him the truth. Ah, there’s something I need to tell you, I said.

There is?

I actually don’t drink. I don’t know why I said earlier that I did. I...I used to. I probably could’ve just taken the wine and pretended everything was okay, but I didn’t want to start lying to the guy. The last thing I wanted was to have to avoid the topic every time he tried to get me to have some wine with him. It was probably better to just be up-front and honest about it, something I should’ve done from the start.

Understanding flooded his face, and he nodded kindly. Oh dear, and here I am shoving wine in your hand and telling you it is the secret to a long life. I’m sorry about that.

Don’t be sorry. I should’ve said something earlier. It’s not usually a topic I like to talk about. But the gesture means a lot. If you could have a glass for me instead, I would appreciate it.

He chuckled. Oh, I can definitely do that. Thank you again for coming. I was lying about the wine making me young. It’s doctors like you that do the trick. Thank you.

I drove off to my next patient with a big smile on my face. It was moments like this that made everything worthwhile. It even made me forget about the fact that I had started my day off cowered on the floor from a loud noise.

Chapter 2

Sienna

Running the family ranch wasn’t easy, especially since I put so much of myself into it. Someone once told me how lucky I was to have such a simple job just handed to me, and I’d been incredibly offended by their comment. Sure, I was lucky, and I counted my lucky stars every single day at my fortune. The ranch was a wonderful place, both to grow up in and to now run. I would always appreciate it. That wasn’t the part that had offended me, though. The job was great, however, it was not simple. It was not easy. It didn’t mean I could just sit back every day and let it run itself. I was a hard worker, and I was not afraid to admit that. It had been a lot easier when my grandmother used to take control, but she was getting old now, and she couldn’t do as much as she could do before. She still owned the farm, but I was the one that ran it. Perhaps I didn’t have to study or go for job interviews, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t work hard to do what I did.

There was always so much to be done on the farm, too. I never had a moment’s rest. That was another misconception that some people had of my job. They probably thought that I didn’t need to do much every day, but the amount of work I had to do on a daily basis was endless. It really was a little too much for me at times, but I would never admit that to anyone. Also, I would never be able to give someone else the same sort of control that I had. I took great pleasure in making sure that the ranch was run to perfection.

I was going through my checklist for the day, something I had started a few years ago in order to make sure that nothing was forgotten, and headed out to the stable. The stable was one of the places that I loved most, and I always made sure that it was clean and that the horses were attended to. I loved the horses more than I loved most humans, and it was important to me that they were kept healthy and happy.

I noticed that one of the stalls was unsecured and I groaned. I couldn’t run the place completely on my own, even though I sometimes wished that I could. I needed help, and I had many people working for me in various sectors of the farm. Sometimes though, it amazed me how they would simply neglect to do their job. I wasn’t sure if they thought I wouldn’t see it, or if they just didn’t care. Maybe I was only so passionate because I ran the farm, but I could only hope that I would feel the same if I didn’t. I made my way over to one of the ranch hands who was clearing some hay bales in the distance. When I got nearer to him, I saw that it was George, one of the hardworking guys. I hoped that it wasn’t him who had done something wrong. He was one of the few that I knew I could rely on, something I was finding harder and harder to come across these days.

George, what’s going on with the stables? One of the stalls was unsecured. That’s not how I expect things to be run around here. I knew my tone wasn’t a kind one right now, but I couldn’t help myself. I had given all of my ranch hands very simple jobs to do, and it drove me completely crazy when they weren’t done the way I wanted them to be done.

He frowned. It was? Well, it wasn’t me, ma’am. He seemed to take offense to my comment. I hadn’t accused him of it, but his defenses were up. I probably shouldn’t be talking to him in this way, though. I was sure that it wasn’t him.

I sighed. I had tried to get them to all call me Miss Johansen, or at least Sienna, but they kept referring to me as ‘ma’am,’ and I had eventually given up. It was weird being called that when I was only 29 years old, but I’d gotten used to it.

If it wasn’t you then who was it?

He shrugged. I don’t know.

George, I know the other guys are your friends, but you do realize I’ll find out anyway. I have a list of who is working on what, so I just have to go inside and get it. You might as well save me the trip. And I wasn’t ever blaming you. I came to talk to you because you are one of the guys on this ranch that I know I can trust. You know how hard that is for me sometimes. So do me a favor and just come clean with it. I can see you know something that I don’t.

He looked down and shuffled his feet. I could see he was conflicted. I felt slightly bad for him and didn’t want him to get into trouble with his friends, but it was important for me to also maintain a level of authority on the ranch. I was a lot younger than most of the workers, and I didn’t want them to disrespect me because of that. Being strict was the only way I could ensure that I was listened to.

Steven, he whispered.

What? Speak up.

Steven.

I frowned. Steven? Who on earth is that? Oh, he’s one of the new ranch hands. Ah yes, I remember him now. Well, that makes sense. The new guys don’t seem to care as much as everyone else. Okay, thank you, George. I appreciate it. Don’t worry; I won’t say anything to him about you. He’s new, and mistakes happen. I can promise you that I’m not going to throw you under the bus. Thanks for being honest with me.

George seemed relieved as I walked away, and I felt slightly guilty at my intimidation. I probably wasn’t the most popular person at the ranch, but I got things done, and that was far more important to me than winning a popularity contest. I sought out the new ranch hand and found him sitting around drinking a cup of tea. He jumped to his feet when he saw me and tried to cover up what he was doing.

Steven, I can see that you’re drinking tea. It’s fine. You’re allowed to drink, for goodness’ sake. You’re also allowed to eat. You know that. I told you that at the start. As long as it doesn’t interfere with getting your work done, you can take as many food and drink breaks as you like. I don’t want you to starve.

Oh. Uh. Yes, ma’am. He was incredibly nervous, and I moved between feeling guilty and feeling