Snared: Instruments Of Life, #3

By Brandyn Blaze

Maggie Santerra needed a fresh start.

After spending months on the road with Fallen Angels and Pretty Deadly, and enduring the loss of two relationships, moving to a nice quiet town in the middle of nowhere seemed to be the remedy her tired soul required.

With her past kept safely behind her, everything seemed to be perfect. No paparazzi, no drama. No chance of running into either of the men who had torn her heart apart. Complete anonymity. Sure, she missed her old life. After all, running a bookstore was nowhere near as exciting as her recording studio had been and leaving her friends and family behind had been rough. However, the sting of homesickness was mild compared to the heartache she knew awaited her back home.

When her brother sends her the demos he’s been working on with Pretty Deadly, those old feelings come back to haunt her, reminding her that she really can’t hide forever. She soon finds herself face to face with the men she’d left behind and questioning everything she thought she wanted.

Will love be the thing that truly saves her?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Brandyn Blaze
• Release date: May 6, 2017
• ISBN: 9781386897941

Book preview

Chapter One

I pulled out of the church parking lot, smiling as the wind blew through the open windows. The spring air smelled sweet and full of promise. Today was sure to be a good day and I was going to take the preacher’s message to heart and enjoy it.

I chuckled softly as the thought passed through my mind. Despite my lingering skepticism, attending service regularly had enabled me to finally find a place within the community and I found that I could always take away some sort of message from each sermon, even if I couldn’t identify with the terminology.

Feeling safe in the confines of my car, I clicked on the radio and tuned into the nearest rock station, hoping the reception would be good today. It was a pleasure I rarely indulged since I’d made the move to Iowa from LA, opting to keep myself as distanced from my former life as possible. Maggie Hawke was a rocker chick. Maggie Santerra was not. In fact, she was something of a goodie two shoes.

More like boring.

I chuckled softly once more. I wore bland mask of normalcy when faced with the public, but I was quick to discard it when I was alone.

Which is next to always.

Shrugging off the unwanted mental jab, I turned the music up louder. I sang along to the familiar melody, drumming on the steering wheel with my fingers as I made my way back to my apartment.

God, it felt good to let my guard down!

The song ended and I let out a laugh, embracing the rare moment of playfulness. I needed to allow myself to feel pure joy like this more often.

Like I did back home.

I let out a sigh. I needed to stop thinking like that. Those days were gone, and rightfully so. Dwelling on what used to be would do nothing but rob me of the peace I had fought so hard to find.

I focused my attention of the radio once more, sighing again as the DJ droned on.

Yeah yeah yeah. Less talkin’, more rockin’, I ordered, feeling restless. I needed something to drown out my thoughts, and this guy’s voice wasn’t cutting it.

The gas station up ahead seemed to call my name as I drove on.

Damn, I need a cigarette. I should stop in and grab a pack.

I shook my head. That was out of the question. I’d worked hard to quit when I moved here. Undoing the progress wasn’t going to help matters.

Another song started and my stress level spiked as Aries’ voice poured out of my speakers.

Of course, that’s what I need, to hear my ex all the time. I should just change the channel.

I gave a soft laugh and shook my head once more. This song would always bring back memories, and given its popularity, I wasn’t going to be able to escape it forever.

I turned it up a bit, choosing to ignore the creeping guilt I felt over the way I had left things with Aries. Instead, I allowed myself to focus on the good times.

My mind was instantly filled with images from the time we had spent in the studio. This song had taken a considerable amount of time to get right, and I couldn’t have been more thrilled with the way it turned out.

I could still see the look on his face when he’d told me I had been the inspiration for such a beautiful piece, could still feel his arms around me as we stood next to the controls.

I smiled, even as the familiar sting appeared in my heart. From the first time I had seen him play, I had known he was going to turn my life upside down. I had willingly let that happen. I had welcomed the exquisite torture with open arms. And for what?

I should have stayed and fought for us. I should have just gone away for a weekend to clear my head like Danni suggested. Now I’m stuck here. If I would have just called him sooner instead of avoiding him for the last year...

I pushed the thought away as I pulled my car into the lot behind my building. This wasn’t the way I’d set out to spend my day. I needed to focus on the positive and enjoy the blessings I had in my life.

If I hadn’t left the way I did, I wouldn’t have the bookstore or the adorable apartment above it. I wouldn’t have the connections with my only employee or the people at church. I wouldn’t be able to go out without worrying about photographers. I wouldn’t have any sense of normalcy whatsoever.

You made the right decision. Sooner or later the pain will subside. Look how much better you feel already! A few months ago, you would have been crying by now.

I forced a smile to my face. Things were definitely looking up. I just had to stay strong.

The song ended and I turned off the car. I needed to get in a better headspace before Emma came by for dinner. I didn’t want to ruin our girls’ night with a bad attitude.

I unbuckled my seat belt and let myself out of the car. Maybe a nice hot shower would help wash away the darkness.

I powerwalked to the stairs, set on escaping these feelings. I climbed to the door and let myself in, pausing briefly at the landing that opened to a second set of stairs. I contemplated heading down to the shop and getting some things ready for the morning, then decided against it. I had been a workaholic at home, I should do the opposite here.

Sighing, I slid my key into the lock and swung open my apartment door. If I was going to have any hope of being a normal human being, I needed to learn how to handle my emotions without any of my usual crutches.

Well, without most of them, I amended.

I set my purse and my keys on the bar before walking over to the refrigerator and grabbing myself a beer. I twisted off the cap and tossed it on the counter. I brought the bottle to my lips, savoring the first drink gratefully. A few more of these and all thoughts of Aries would disappear.

I sighed and took another drink as I made my way to the living room. I clicked on the TV to fill the silence, going over my mental checklist. Once I finished my beer I’d take a shower, then I’d make a quick pass through the house to make it presentable and start on dinner. Once Emma got here things would look up.

The phone rang and I groaned, knowing it was probably my brother with his weekly check-in.

Get it over with, I urged myself, not in the mood to talk to anybody. I rose to my feet and walked into the kitchen, taking a deep breath as I lifted the phone off the base.

Hello?

Hey sis, Danni greeted me. How’s it goin’?

I shrugged. It’s going.

Danni chuckled. Why is it you never have anything exciting to tell me?

I shrugged again, letting out a small laugh. Trust me, it’s actually kind of nice to not have anything exciting going on.

I could almost hear my brother smile on the other end of the line. Did you just get in from church?

Yeah, I replied, pulling a bar stool over and taking a seat. Now I’m trying to get up the energy to make dinner for me and Emma’s weekly girl night.

I’m glad you’ve got a friend out there. We worry about you.

I smiled. I know. But things are good. The store is doing well and I’ve made some friends. I’m working out and eating better. This has been a good move.

So you tell me, he replied. You still smoke free?

I am, I answered, a hint of pride in my voice. I almost broke the streak today, but I resisted temptation.

I’m proud of you, sis. What made you falter?

I sighed, wishing my sibling didn’t care so much. Nothing really. Sometimes I just miss everyone, that’s all.

You really should think about coming out here for a while, Danni insisted. We all miss you, too.

I rolled my eyes. Every week with this, I chuckled. I don't think that's the best of ideas.

You can't just hide away forever, Mags.

I sighed. That remains to be seen. I smile crept onto my face. You and M could always come out here. I mean, we’d have to smuggle you in and stay under the radar, but I’d love to show you the store and stuff.

Maybe once things settle down around here, he acquiesced. With the wedding and Miranda’s new job and all my projects, things are fuckin’ crazy here.

I bet, I acknowledged. You’ve both got a lot on your plate.

We do. I could really use your help right about now. I’ve got a bunch of songs demoed up for Deadly, but Aries refuses to do the album without you.

I sighed. Still?

It’s killing him, Mags. I know it's none of my business, but you really should at least talk to him. If only to make my job easier.

That's not an option, I asserted. Just get through this.

Danni sighed. Fuck, sis...just think about it, okay?

I have, I countered, determination setting in.

Can I at least send a tape to you and get you to send us some notes? I think just having some input from you will go a long way. If they don’t get something new out there soon their career is going to tank.

I sighed again. You already sent it, didn’t you?

Danni chuckled. You know me well. It should be there tomorrow.

I’ll see what I can do. Try to talk some sense into him, okay? Just because shit didn’t work out doesn’t mean I don’t care about what happens to him.

I know, sis.

I took a deep breath, doing my best to ward off the tears that threatened to fall. I wished things had been different with Aries and I, and I hated that he was still in so much pain.

So, I began, pausing to clear my throat, what else has been going on?

Just the usual, I guess. Right now, I’m dealing with lawyers to get out of our contract with Mac. The general consensus is that we have to do one more album and tour with Logan before we can be released. It’s not looking promising right now, so we’ve been in rehearsals.

Great. Just what I need, updates on both the idiots that tore my heart up. I took a long drink of my beer.

That sucks, bro.

Fuck, what if Aries and the boys decide to crack down on my contract with them?

It does, Danni agreed. I mean, I have no problem just getting through it, but I hate the message it sends about me to the fans and I hate thinking about what that will do for you.

I chuckled. It’s not like I have to see him or anything, Dan. I know what’s going on, so don’t feel bad. I don’t see it as a betrayal or anything.

Well, I do, he grumbled.

Well, don’t.

He chuckled. So, what’s on tonight’s menu?

Nothing fancy, I replied. Roasted chicken and veggies, some garlic bread, and a few drinks.

I may have to fly out for that. It’s been nothing but take out for us for weeks.

M isn’t feeding you? I find that hard to believe!

She’s been putting in crazy hours lately. I’ll have her call you when she finally gets a minute to breathe. She’s got Libby and Arielle helping out, but those girls don’t exactly have the skills to make much of a dent in the workload.

I know what you’re doing, Dante, and it’s not going to work. I can’t just drop everything and come home to help you guys out.

He let out a laugh. Hey, I was just telling you what’s going on. It’s not my fault if you feel guilty for being so far away.

I shook my head, laughing as well. Whatever, bro.

Anyway, there’s really not much else to get into. Just give me a call once you’ve gone over that tape. I’ll see what I can do on my end.

I nodded. Okay.

I’ll talk to ya later, sis. Love ya.

Love you, too.

Bye.

Bye, I parroted.

I hung up the phone, wishing my brother would quit bringing up the Pretty Deadly album every time we spoke. I hated that I couldn’t be there to work on it after they had made such a big deal about making me sole producer, but I just couldn’t trust myself to be around Aries again. Something about him always drew me in like a moth to a flame, and I wasn’t about to put myself through any more heartache.

I quickly polished off my beer and set beside the sink before going to the fridge for a second.

Maybe Danni’s right. I should just give Aries a call and explain to him why I can’t do the album. It would be nice to catch up, and maybe I could get him to move on.

I let out a sigh. Knowing Aries, calling him would only give him hope that things would work out. It certainly wouldn’t help me get out of doing the album.

I took another sip of my beer, wishing I could just block out the last couple years. I glanced at the cabinets above the fridge. I needed something stronger to put him out of my mind.

I pulled the bar stool over to the fridge, using it to reach the top cabinets. I reached behind the assortment of Tupperware and wrapped my fingers around the hidden bottle of whiskey.

This oughtta do the trick, I mused aloud.

I stayed balanced on the stool as I gulped down a few shots’ worth of the liquor, the act alone working to calm my nerves. I put the cap back on and placed the bottle back in the cabinet before climbing down.

Alright girl, time to get busy. No use sitting around belly-aching.

***

I carried the last of the dishes to the sink, happy that talking with Emma had taken my mind off everything, at least for a little while.

I’m going to have more wine, do you want any? I asked.

Sure, she replied. Mind if I find something on TV?

I smiled at my friend. Why do you still ask permission to do things around here? Go for it.

She gave me a little shrug. Habit, I guess.

I chuckled. Well, stop!

She laughed. I’ll try.

I smiled as she bounded off towards the living room. Although we were roughly the same age, I felt as though I was years older than her. We had become fairly close since I had hired her to help around the shop, but keeping my former life hidden made it hard to really connect.

Maybe one day I’d let her in on my secret identity.

I gave a slight frown as I poured the glasses. Telling people who I was would just open me up to scrutiny and invasive questions. I needed to keep the real me locked up tight.

I forced myself to push those feelings down and paste on a smile before carrying the drinks into the living room. I handed one to Emma before taking a seat on the opposite end of the sofa.

Did I tell you that Matt’s finally taking me to meet his parents? She asked.

I shook my head. No!

Yeah, he asked me a couple days ago. I’m a little nervous, honestly. I know they really liked his ex, and I’m nothing like her!

I chuckled. I’m sure you’ll be fine. What’s not to love about you?

She rolled her eyes. Um, the fact that I want a career, for one. Carrie wanted to do the whole full-time wife and mother thing. Her parents are friends with his and I think they were always kind of pushing for that.

I nodded. Trust me, I know all about people pushing for relationships.

Probably better than anybody, I thought dismally. My brother and my then-husband had colluded to push Aries and I together, and I still wasn’t entirely over it. Sure, Aries and I had worked well when things were good, but I could never be sure that it was real because of that.

It’s just crazy, Emma continued. They can’t seem to let go of that idea.

Give it time, I assured her. Once they get to know you and see how good you two are together, they’ll change their mind.

I hope so, she replied with a sigh.

So when are you going?

Next weekend, she announced. It’ll be a six hour drive or so. I keep telling him we should get a hotel instead of staying with them, but he’s set on staying there.

I chuckled. Guess you’ll just have to keep quiet.

She laughed and slapped my knee. You’re terrible!

I shrugged and flicked my eyes to the TV. New York Minute, a band I had come to know very well, had recently debuted a new single. Unlike the last few, which had gotten very little airplay, their new ballad was quickly rising up the charts.

God, that Stacey is so cute! Emma gushed.

I let out a soft laugh. He is, I agreed. But I’ve heard he’s kind of a jerk.

That’s an understatement.

Stacey York was extremely talented, but it had definitely gone to his head. He had also had an affair with Aries’ on-again-off-again girlfriend, Vanessa. Part of me had been relieved when that had come to light. It had eased some of the guilt about what Aries and I were doing. On the other hand, seeing how much it had hurt him had broken my heart.

You can’t believe everything you read, Emma replied.

I laughed. Well, that much is true.

She laughed. Anyway, don’t let me forget to put my days off in the books tomorrow.

I won’t, I assured her. I took a sip of my wine, smiling softly to myself. Life here may not be as fast-paced as it had been in LA, but times like this made it all worth it.

My heart seized as the next video began and Aries’ face filled the screen. As always, I was stunned by his beauty.

Emma gave a little squeal. I love this song! I can’t wait for them to put out another album!

If I don’t do something to convince him to get to work, you’ll be waiting forever.

They’re good, I agreed.

I took a sip of my wine to prevent any further opinions from popping out of my mouth.

Good? They’re amazing! Emma continued. And Aries is so freakin’ hot!

I burst out laughing. Not even!

Hot doesn’t even begin to describe his perfection...

Emma rolled her eyes. Of course you wouldn’t think so, you like guys like Richard.

I rolled my eyes in return. I do not! I’ve told you a thousand times I have no interest in him. It’s just nice to have a friend to go out with from time to time.

Emma laughed. Well, I don’t think he feels the same. He’s totally into you, Maggie.

I laughed. I’m sure he understands that I’m not quite ready to date.

And probably never will be.

Can I ask you something? My friend asked, her tone hesitantly serious.

Sure.

She took a deep breath. I know you moved out here for a fresh start after your divorce, but you never really talk about your life before. Did something bad happen?

I shook my head. Nothing catastrophic, I answered slowly. I just prefer to leave it in the past where it belongs.

She nodded, although her expression told me she wasn’t satisfied with my answer.

He cheated a lot, I clarified. And then I thought I’d found someone new, and it turned out that was all lies, too.

It was a bit of an over simplification, but it was the best I could do. It would take hours to explain all the events that led me to leave LA and start over in the middle of nowhere.

I’m sorry, she said. Cheaters are the worst. And whoever broke your heart after that clearly wasn’t worth a damn.

I flicked my eyes to the man on the TV.  Maybe I had been too burned by Logan to let someone else in, too quick to jump to conclusions, too stubborn to listen to reason.

Not maybe, definitely.

I’m pretty sure that one was mostly me, I mumbled.

You’ll find your soulmate someday, Emma offered.

I turned my eyes to the small tattoo on my ankle. I would forever carry his name with me. I could always cover up the ink, but it would be written on my heart forever.

She’ll lead you to him, Emma said, placing a reassuring hand on my leg, just above the artwork.

I was momentarily confused as I struggled to make the connection. You told her that was your mom’s horoscope, my mind supplied. I pasted on a smile.

I know.

She smiled back. Until then, you should probably stop wasting time with guys you have no interest in.

I laughed. The problem is, the guys I’m interested are always the worst for me.

She laughed too, and raised her glass. Here, here!

I chuckled as I touched my glass to hers and brought it to my lips. Perhaps she was right, I needed to let myself move on. Still, I couldn’t just erase the feelings that remained for the two men I’d left behind.

It took everything in me to keep Aries out of my thoughts as the night wore on. I wished I could just wipe out my memories, if only for a little while. Outwardly, I was laughing and talking with my friend, but inside I was wrestling with my demons. It was a habit I’d grown accustomed to, and one I wished would go away.

I glanced at the clock, exhaustion setting in as I continued to pretend everything was fine.

I can’t believe it’s 10 already! I noted, feeling disheartened. Once my friend left I would have no distractions. I would be all alone with my thoughts, and that wasn’t necessarily where I wanted to be.

If that stupid video hadn’t played I’d be ok.

Ugh, Emma groaned. I still have to finish up some homework before I crash. I’ve got tests in the morning.

I wrinkled my nose. Yuck.

Tell me about it, she replied with a laugh. She rose to her feet. I’ll be in when class gets out.

I nodded. Good luck!

Thanks.

She gave me a quick hug before collecting her things and leaving. My eyes wandered to the phone as soon as the door closed. I toyed with the idea of calling Aries and finally getting some closure, but quickly talked myself out of it. Hearing his voice would only make me miss him more.

Jesus, it’s been over a year. You can’t keep obsessing about this forever.

I sighed and wandered over to the counter to pour myself another glass of wine before cleaning up the kitchen. Music from the television filled the air and I got lost in my task. By the time I was done, the wine was gone and the room was sparkling. I’d even rearranged some cabinets and scrubbed the floors.

I looked around with a smile. If I could find that kind of motivation every day, life would be a breeze!

I washed out my glass and put it away, then flipped off the light as I headed back to the living room. I shut everything down for the night, instantly hating the silence that followed.

Things had never been quiet back home. I’d gone from living with a band in a tiny apartment, to touring with my brother and my rock star husband. When we were home, there were always people stopping by or someone crashing with us. Logan had always stayed up later than me. The noise that constantly surrounded me had been comforting.

Here, the nights were silent. All traffic seemed to disappear as the sun went down, and it only amplified the sense of isolation.

I scurried to my bedroom and quickly undressed, then crawled under the covers. Maybe Emma was right. I should put myself out there.

I shook the thought away. I couldn’t bring someone into my life just to fill an empty bed. A relationship based on easing my loneliness would only hurt both of us in the end. I just needed to focus on getting right with myself.

I sighed and closed my eyes, allowing myself to drift away.

The sun streamed through the windows, highlighting the old dinette set as my mother set the table. The tomato sauce on the stove filled the house with a tantalizing aroma and I didn’t think I could wait another minute to eat.

Do you need any help? I asked.

She smiled. If you could, just stir the sauce for me.

I nodded and walked over to the stove. I swirled the spoon through the mixture, then brought it to my mouth. I closed my eyes as I savored the taste. My mother’s spaghetti sauce was the best thing in the world.

I saw that, she teased.

I gave an embarrassed smile. Sorry.

She chuckled and grabbed the pot of boiling noodles. You never could stay out of that stuff.

I shrugged. It’s not my fault it’s so delicious.

She laughed once more and dumped the spaghetti into the colander positioned in the sink. It looks like Aries and your father are hitting it off.

I smiled, grabbing a slice of garlic bread from the basket on the counter. Crazy, right? I was afraid Dad would take one look at him and throw him out.

I tore off a chunk of bread and popped it in my mouth.

I think that brother of yours forced him to rethink things a bit. It’s hard to stay judgmental with a son like that.

He definitely is unique, I agreed, laughter coloring my voice.

For what it’s worth, I think he’s a fine young man. So long as he continues to treat you right, he’s welcome to be part of this family.

My heart felt as if it would burst and my smile widened. Thanks, Mom.

She patted me on the shoulder, then began carrying food to the table. Now, go tell the boys it’s time to eat.

My eyes snapped open and I glanced around the room. A brief moment of confusion passed as I struggled to identify where I was.

I sighed and flipped onto my belly.

Why the fuck would I dream something like that? What is that supposed to mean?

I sighed once more.

Mom, if you’re giving me a sign I’m not sure you’ve been watching closely, I thought, hoping the message would somehow reach the ethers.

Or maybe she has been.

I shook the thought away. It was just dream, clearly it appeared because I had been thinking about my mom earlier.

I cut my eyes to the clock on my nightstand. It was only 3:13. If I went to sleep now I could get 3 more hours of sleep.

I closed my eyes, willing my mind to take me back to my parents’ house. I needed to see my Mom again. Preferably without Aries mucking it up.

Chapter Two

I breezed into the shop, feeling much better now that I had gotten my workout in and had some lunch. Keeping myself busy was certainly the key to avoiding all those pesky emotions.

I wished there was more to keep me occupied at work. The truth was, I barely sold enough books on a regular basis to cover my overhead.

Not that it mattered, the whole thing was a vanity project. It was only meant to keep me busy and help me fit in to the community. Between the money I’d made at the studio, my on-going royalty checks, and my alimony, I had more than enough. Still, it would be nice to actually turn a profit off the store.

Either way, having something that was mine was a nice feeling. I made my way to the counter, smiling at Emma.

Thank god you’re back, she greeted. It’s so dead in here! I thought I was going to lose my mind.

I chuckled. It’ll pick up when school lets out and all the kids pour in to buy magazines and use the pop machine.

Emma shrugged. We’ve got to find a way to get more people in here, it’s so boring!

I shook my head. Boring can be nice.

She rolled her eyes. At least I had a little human interaction when the mail came.

She slid a stack of envelopes towards me. I think some of your personal mail got mixed in. There’s a package from California with your name on it.

I picked up the manila envelope with a sigh. Yeah, my brother wanted to send me some things he’d been working on.

Is he any good?

I laughed. Yeah.

In fact, you own all of his albums.

I wish someone in my family had some talent. I’d be working my butt off to help them catch a break!

I smiled. I did a lot of grunt work for him and the band before I moved out here. It was fun, but I wasn’t cut out for that life.

Emma laughed. That doesn’t surprise me.

I rolled my eyes. I’m not that boring!

She laughed again. No, you just think sitting around here when you’re not working out or going to church is fun.

I laughed. Whatever.

She grinned. So, do you think your brother has what it takes to make it?

I shrugged, focusing all my energy on not laughing at the question. He’s doing alright for himself.

I bet he’s hot, she mused aloud.

I rolled my eyes once more. You’ve got a one-track mind.

She laughed again. Maybe.

I set the package back on the counter. You don’t have to stick around here, I don’t imagine it’s going to get too hectic around here.

Awesome, she replied. I was hoping to catch up on some homework before Matt picks me up.

I smiled. Let me know how it goes! I know you’ve been looking forward to your date all week!

Her smile widened. I’ll tell you everything when I get in tomorrow!

You better! I replied.

She chuckled and gathered her purse. You really should think about getting out there.

Someday, I replied, making my way to the other side of the counter.

She laughed and turned to leave, then snapped her attention back to me. Oh, I almost forgot. Betty called about a church supper or something.

I nodded. I’ll call her back later.

She smiled. See ya tomorrow, Maggie.

Later, I replied.

She walked away and I smiled. I couldn’t have done a better job hiring someone.

I pulled up my stool and took a seat, then grabbed the stack of mail. I sorted through it mindlessly, dropping the junk in the trash can just under the counter. I stacked the bills up and set them aside with a sigh. Those could wait for later.

My eyes landed on the manila envelope and I bit my lip. Part of me wanted to rip it open now. I could just flip the sign in the door and no one would question it.

I shook my head. I couldn’t close the store early just to go upstairs and torture myself with this tape. In fact, I wasn’t even sure I should listen to it at all.

I sighed once more and pushed it aside, then picked up the novel I had kept by the register.

At the very least, I basically get paid to read. It’s really not a bad gig.

I laughed softly to myself and opened the book, eager to get lost in the tale. Before long, the characters morphed into Aries and I, and soon I was no longer reading. I stared through the page, imagining a world where the two of us shared a normal life.

He’d probably open a bar or something and help me around the shop when he could. We’d get a bigger place and rent out the apartment and have regular dinner parties with Emma and Matt. We’d have babies...

I laughed again, giving my head a shake.

Stop letting him control your thoughts, I chided myself.

And stop talking to yourself. Get a grip!

I took a deep breath and rose to my feet. There was a box of books that could be put on the shelves. That would certainly keep me occupied for a while.

I set to work, and before I knew it I was back in my zone. All thoughts of Aries and my old life disappeared. Instead, I focused on finding new ways to attract business and all the things I needed to get done around the shop.

Once all the books were put away, I returned to the counter and grabbed my notebook. I began jotting down the ideas I had generated and making to-do lists.

Yes, this busywork was just what I needed.

The bells jingled above the door and I looked up, smiling as Marcus made his way to me.

He was a young kid, just 17, who I had met over a year ago when I was on tour with Fallen Angels and Pretty Deadly. He had been following the band, mostly due to his sister’s affair with my husband, and we had become friends.

Somehow, I had managed to settle in his hometown. It was nice to have at least one person around who knew who I was. Despite the occasional discomfort such a reminder brought, it also helped me remember why I left.

Hey, kid! I greeted.

Hey, he replied, returning my smile.

What’s new?

He shrugged and slid his backpack off his shoulder, setting it beside the register. Not much, he replied. I passed that algebra test.

I smiled. I’m glad.

He nodded. Me too, my parents have been riding my ass ever since Stormy...

He cut himself off, embarrassment evident on his face. Sorry.

I laughed. It’s okay.

He rubbed the back of his neck as he shifted his weight. It’s not. What she did was super shitty.

I shrugged. It’s all in the past now, I assured him. And besides, if it hadn’t been her it would have been someone else.

He nodded, still giving off an air of unease.

I shook my head. How is she doing?

Fine, I guess. We don’t hear from her much. They seem to be happy, though.

I smiled. I’m glad.

He nodded again.

So, what else is new? I know there’s a big dance coming up, did you ask that girl to go?

He smiled. Mickey? Yeah. His smile grew wider. We’ve gone out twice now.

I smiled back. Awesome!

"She’s so cool, Mags. She listens to all the music I do and she plays bass. She draws these bitchin’ cartoons,