The Red Pill on Wisdom

By Vinnie Venturella

These lessons, these proverbs are the product of nearly four decades of experiences as an adult. Many of these have been forged in the crucible of life. Having a father that’s a Sicilian-American, U.S. Marine, and a Catholic gave me a phenomenal foundation of wisdom. This wisdom was honed, put through the furnace, and forged under great pressure, during a 21+ years career in Special Operations. I have continued on a path toward better wisdom, through trial and error, introspection, and validation in my civilian career, now close to 20 years and counting. With my 17 books (counting this one) I have adjusted, added new ones, deleted ones that no longer apply, and perfected many of these. These lessons, these proverbs, are a peak behind the curtain. The title, The Red Pill on Wisdom, is a metaphor for the choice between the brutal truths, autonomy, and understanding of reality. We may not like it, we may love it, we may not agree with it, or we may embrace it. That’s the point.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Oct 30, 2023
• ISBN: 9798823016889

Vinnie Venturella

This is Vinnie’s seventeenth book. Vinnie and his wife Tammie have two daughters, Meaghan and Sophia. They live in Texas. Vinnie was born in Pittsburgh, PA. His Mom Joyce and Dad Frank were a big influence on him, and he has a twin brother, Frank and younger sister, Jill. He graduated Woodsville High School in NH. He has a Bachelor’s in Accounting from Campbell University, NC; and an MBA from Southern New Hampshire University. Vinnie retired as a Chief Master Sergeant from the Air Force after 21+ years as a Combat Controller in Air Force Special Operations. Vinnie works in the Personal Finance industry. He has a passion for reading, writing, and physical fitness.

Book preview

© 2023 Vinnie Venturella. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 10/26/2023

ISBN: 979-8-8230-1687-2 (sc)

ISBN: 979-8-8230-1688-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2023920815

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

This book is dedicated

to my daughter Sophia.

May she embrace the wisdom from me,

her Mom, and her sister, Meaghan.

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Foreword

Introduction

1.   Build And Maintain A Strong Culture

2.   The Wisest Man In History – Solomon – When He Was Given The Chance To Have Anything He Wanted – Asked God For Wisdom And Discernment

3.   Things Don’t Get Easier; You Must Handle Hard Better

4.   Do Not Over Complicate Things

5.   Be Great At Problem Solving

6.   Your Habits Can Make Or Break You

7.   Delete Before You Add

8.   Exude good manners

9.   There Is Power In Getting Up At The Same Time Every Day And Going To Bed At The Same Time Every Day

10.   The Dash On Your Headstone Is Your Life

11.   Remember The Moon Is Only Seen When The Sun Shines Upon It

12.   Actions Speak Louder Than Words

13.   I Only Workout On Days That End In A Y

14.   Leaders That Are The Most Responsive To Change Tend To Be The Best

15.   Let People Think You’re Stupid By Being Quiet, Instead Of Opening Your Mouth And Leaving No Doubt

16.   Why Isn’t The Late Check-Out The Standard?

17.   Know How To Get Water

18.   Stack Up Wins Every Single Day, No Matter How Small

19.   Live Up To Your Potential

20.   Learn How To Tell A Good Story

21.   Get And Stay In People’s Good Graces

22.   Be Smart With Your Money But Don’t Be Cheap

23.   Just Because You Disagree With Me Doesn’t Mean You’re Right

24.   Focus On Lifetime Learning

25.   There Is A Reason It’s Called A ‘Backbone’

26.   Competition Should Only Be With Yourself

27.   Don’t Let People Take Up Space In Your Head Rent Free

28.   Wise People Say Less Than Most People, But Their Words Count More Than Anyone Else’s

29.   Verbal Sunshine Doesn’t Cost A Cent But Is Worth Millions

30.   Can You Write Your Own Eulogy And It Sound Good – That Should Tell You All You Need To Know

31.   Always Stand Up When You Shake Someone’s Hand

32.   Have Passion

33.   Everyone You Meet Knows Something You Don’t – Learn From Them

34.   Build Credibility

35.   Continue To Build Your Brand

36.   Think Through The Effects Of A Decision

37.   Expect Greatness From Yourself

38.   In Life, You Can Suck At Beer Drinking But You Can’t Suck At Math

39.   Perform A Salute Or Put Your Hand Over Your Heart When The National Anthem Plays

40.   Resiliency

41.   Practice Great Communication

42.   Create Anticipation

43.   You Are Known By Your Fruit

44.   People Do What They Prioritize

45.   Remove Distractions To Be More Productive

46.   Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

47.   Don’t Let The New Person Eat By Themselves

48.   The Key Is To Move Forward Every Day

49.   Attitude Is Everything

50.   Time, Talent, And Treasure – What Can You Offer?

51.   Ensure You Know What’s In The Water Before You Dive In

52.   What Are You Great At?

53.   Take The Blame But Give The Credit

54.   Make Good Choices

55.   You Find What You’re Looking For

56.   Do Not Underestimate The Value Of Hardship

57.   Service Before Self

58.   Know How To Start A Fire

59.   Results Outweigh Activity

60.   If You’re Late To Work When You Know I’m Coming To Your Work Location, Am I To Assume You’re Not Late When I’m Not There?

61.   Have Commitment

62.   Human Nature Can Be Boiled Down To Either Desiring Pleasure Or Avoiding Pain

63.   Master Your Craft

64.   Amateurs Practice Until They Get It Right. Professionals Practice Until They Can’t Get It Wrong

65.   Few Things Can Be Controlled, But You Can Control Your Reactions

66.   There Are Some People That Do Not Want You To Succeed

67.   We Are What We Repeatedly Do

68.   Small Daily Actions

69.   You’ll Have Virtually No Financial Problems If You Live Within A Budget

70.   Be Better, Not Bitter

71.   Imagine If You Loved Unconditionally The Way Your Dog Loves You

72.   Ships Are Safe In The Harbor, But That Is Not What Ships Were Made For

73.   Establish Ruthless Boundaries

74.   You’re Entitled To Your Own Opinion; You’re Not Entitled To Your Own Facts

75.   Hurt People Hurt People

76.   Good Leaders Have The Uncanny Ability To Positively Change Behavior

77.   Don’t Be Frumpy Suit Guy

78.   Are People Dependent Upon You? Think About What That Really Means

79.   True Perfection Is Unattainable, But Strive For Perfection Day In And Day Out

80.   Don’t Worry About The People You Don’t Hire, But Worry About The People You Don’t Fire

81.   Dreams That Are Written Down, Become Goals

82.   Forgiveness Is As Much For Us As It Is For The Other Person

83.   You Can’t ‘Make Requests,’ When Someone Is In The Habit Of Doing Random Acts Of Kindness On Your Behalf

84.   Most People ‘Say’ They Want The Unvarnished Truth, But They Really Don’t

85.   Hard Work Results In A Great Reputation

86.   The Best Way To Keep A Secret Is To Not Tell Anyone, Anything, Ever

87.   Once Time Is Lost It Is Lost Forever

88.   Be Open To New Ideas

89.   Exude Discernment

90.   Adapt To Survive

91.   Good Or Bad You Are Defined By What Comes Out Of Your Mouth

92.   Know How To Say ‘No’

93.   Just Because You Say It, Doesn’t Make It True

94.   Overnight Success Often Follows Years Or Decades Of Work

95.   Adapt Communication To The Audience

96.   What You Put On The Internet Is There Forever

97.   To Be Considered Wise, You Must Speak From Time To Time And You Must Weigh In From Time To Time

98.   You Are Responsible For Your Own Happiness

99.   Money Will Never Solve Your Real Problems

100.   Don’t Let The Words Others Say To You, Control You

101.   Progress Is One Of The Most Powerful Forces We Can Experience

102.   Why Do Some Supervisors Not Hold Their People Accountable?

103.   All Goals Should Be SMART

104.   We Grow When We Face Challenges

105.   It’s Not What Is Said It’s How It’s Said

106.   You Need Way Less Sugar And Salt In Your Life Than You Think

107.   Never Stop Learning

108.   Attitude, Not Aptitude, Will Determine Your Altitude

109.   Logic Does Not Work With An Illogical Person

110.   Have An Attitude Of Gratitude

111.   If You Can’t Stand Our Nation, Then Leave It

112.   The ‘Perfect Time’ Is An Illusion

113.   Persistence

114.   Confidence Is Asking The Best-Looking Girl In The Room Out

115.   Avoid The Misfortunate

116.   Discipline In Everything

117.   Be An Expert Listener

118.   Know How To Make An Egg

119.   It’s Not The Destination It’s The Journey

120.   There Are Virtually No Environments Where You Can Be Overdressed

121.   Embrace The Pareto Principle

122.   There Is Always Hope

123.   Speak Clearly

124.   Maximize Your Focus

125.   Don’t Outshine The Big Boss

126.   Be 100% Secure In Yourself

127.   When You Drink From The Team Coffee Club, Feel Free To Buy Some Coffee To Replenish What You Took For Free

128.   Discipline Is A 24/7/365 Thing. It’s Not A Sometime Thing Or A Parttime Thing…It’s A Consistent, Persistent, Constant Thing

129.   If It Was Easy Anyone Could Do It

130.   Maintain Your Self-Respect

131.   You Can’t Please Everyone

132.   Did You Ever Notice That The Higher People Are In A Company How Little They Miss Work…That Is Not An Accident

133.   Live Your Purpose In Life

134.   Exceeding The Standard Is The Standard

135.   We Have Not Come This Far, Only To Come This Far

136.   Working Out Should Be A High Priority

137.   Take The Initiative

138.   It Doesn’t Matter Where You Start

139.   The Road To Success Is Riddled With Failure

140.   Do The Basics Extremely Well

141.   Whether You Think You Can Or Think You Can’t, You’re Right

142.   Beware The Overshare

143.   A Great Leader Is One Who Gets The Absolute Best Out Of Their People

144.   Who Strives For Mediocrity? Mediocre People

145.   Don’t Underestimate The Power Of A Compliment

146.   No Complaining, No Whining, And Make No Excuses

147.   Say This Out Loud…Memorial Day Sale! Why Is This Still A Thing?

148.   We Appreciate More What We’ve Earned

149.   Be A Stand-Up Guy/Gal

150.   Exude Generosity

151.   Get There Early

152.   Have Vision

153.   Paddle Like Crazy Under Water, But Be Calm On Top Of It

154.   Have Courage

155.   People Make Assumptions About You By What You Wear And How You Appear

156.   Always Look Eye

157.   Know How To Swim

158.   Save Early And Save Often For Retirement

159.   Most Of Life Is About Simply Showing Up

160.   Listen To Understand Not To Refute

161.   Accountability

162.   Don’t Play The Victim

163.   Excellence In All We Do

164.   Life Is Not Fair

165.   Someone May Be Silently Screaming For Help; And The Love You Just Gave Them May Be Exactly What They Needed

166.   Encourage High Performance, Because You Get What You Expect

167.   Be A Person Of Character

168.   Fake It Until You Make It

169.   Your Actions Determine Your Outcomes

170.   Be Self-Sufficient

171.   Make No Mistake, Every Single Person Is Replaceable

172.   Should You Make The First Offer When Negotiating?

173.   Never Turn Down A Piece Of Gum Or A Mint

174.   Don’t Underestimate Fun

175.   Understand Importance Versus Urgency

176.   Have Some Charisma

177.   Maintain As Much Room To Maneuver As Possible – Never Box Yourself In If At All Possible

178.   Deep Suck Draws People Together

179.   You Can’t Fail If You Don’t Quit

180.   Be Approachable

181.   Be Careful Dealing With Someone Who Has Nothing To Lose

182.   Integrity First

183.   When You Have Multiple Priorities, You Have No Priorities

184.   You Can Be Humble And Confident At The Same Time

185.   Protect Those Who Are Bullied And Stand Up To The Bullies

186.   Despite Being So Connected In This World, Can We Be Anymore Disconnected?

187.   The Workout That Will Change Your Life The Most Effectively, Is The One That You Will Consistently Do

188.   Learn From Others’ Mistakes

189.   Trust The Process

190.   Positively Influence Lives

191.   Your Silence May Be Deafening

192.   Be A Person Of Competence

193.   Fill Up The Gas Tank When You Borrow Someone’s Car Or Truck

194.   Be A Thermostat

195.   Choices Have Consequences

196.   You Know I’m A Wolf, Right?

197.   Ideas Are Great; But Bonuses And Merit Increases Are Paid For Execution

198.   If You Can Work, You Should Work

199.   Create As Much Laser Focus Time In Your Day For Max Productivity

200.   Work Harder And Work Smarter

201.   Be A Blessing To Others

202.   The Key Is To Get On Base

203.   Be Teachable

204.   Strive To Have Great Relationships

205.   The Basics Of Funding Your Retirement

206.   Although Important, Talent Is Not Enough

207.   Leaders Lead Regardless Of Environment

208.   Working Out Is Like Life: You Get Out Of It What You Put Into It

209.   Catch People Doing Things Right

210.   Integrity Is Doing What Is Right Even When No One Is Watching

211.   Have Incredible Self-Discipline

212.   Don’t Mistake Enthusiasm For Capability

213.   The Next Time I Call In Too Sick To Work, Will Be The First Time In My Life

214.   The One You Feed

215.   Clean The Kitchen As You Go

216.   Improve Your Mental Health By Working On Your Physical Health

217.   Every Person You Meet Is Dealing With Something You Don’t Know About

218.   If You Hire A Follower, You Build Your Organization One Person At A Time; If You Hire A Leader, You Force Multiply Your Organization

219.   A Man Who Runs The Grill Is Basically The King

220.   Reliability

221.   Harness The Power Of The Flywheel

222.   Offer Timely Feedback

223.   Always Keep The Secret You’ve Been Entrusted With

224.   It Doesn’t Matter How Much Knowledge You Have. If You Don’t Have The Courage To Use It, It’s A Waste

225.   Don’t Appear Too Perfect

226.   Lead, Follow, Or Get Out Of The Way

227.   Take Responsibility

228.   Everyone Has A Plan Until They Get Punched In The Face

229.   Invest In Yourself

230.   Making Daily Progress Toward Your Goal Is A Huge Motivator

231.   Be Okay With Saying, I Don’t Know

232.   Don’t Show All Of Your Cards

233.   Read The Bible Every Day

234.   A Man Takes It Up A Notch When He Wears A Sport Coat

235.   My Greatest Ability Is My Availability

236.   Lead By Example, From The Front

237.   Embrace The Suck

238.   Don’t Procrastinate

239.   When Somebody Gives You A Compliment Or Does Something For You, Feel Free To Say Thank You

240.   Put Feedback Into Action

241.   Be A Servant Leader

242.   Stand By Your True Friends – No Matter What

243.   Management Is Doing Things The Right Way. Leadership Is Doing The Right Things

244.   Be Yourself

245.   If You Can’t Play With Passion, Don’t Play At All

246.   The Only Time Success Comes Before Work Is In The Dictionary

247.   An Unfulfilled Life Should Be Feared More Than Death

248.   Understate – When Talking About Yourself

249.   Should I Stop Talking, While You’re Interrupting?

250.   Heroes Should Be Held To A Higher Standard

251.   Work Well With People

252.   Iron Sharpens Iron

253.   Personal Finance Room 101

254.   Remove Toxic People From Your Life

255.   Leaders Are Readers

256.   It Takes Zero Talent To Hustle

257.   Remain Flexible

258.   Don’t Make Things A Bigger Deal Than They Are

259.   Hating Change Is Counterintuitive

260.   Stop Worrying So Much About What Other People Think

261.   Remember To Say Please, Thank You, And You’re Welcome

262.   The Crucible

263.   Have A Sense Of Humor But Don’t Be A Clown

264.   Never Go Empty Handed When Invited To Someone’s House For An Event Or A Party

265.   Gain More Perspective

266.   Failure Is A Better Teacher Than Success

267.   Thank A Veteran

268.   Consistency

269.   Great Leaders Are Decisive

270.   You Are A Product Of Your Environment

271.   You Tell Me All I Need To Know When You Say You Do Not Have Time To Workout

272.   Don’t Mistake Investing Genius With A Bull Market

273.   Be Ready When Opportunity Knocks

274.   It Is Never As Bad As It Seems

275.   Pay Full Price

276.   Smile

277.   When You Have To Fight Just To Be Mediocre

278.   Where You Are On The Ladder Frames Your Perspective

279.   Aim Small, Miss Small

280.   Your (Positive) Energy Is Contagious

281.   Make A Good Impression

282.   Black And White And Gray

283.   Stay Hydrated

284.   Kill Indecision

285.   Give Unconditionally

286.   Be The Best At ‘Counting Batteries’

287.   If You Save Seconds, You Can Save Minutes, And If You Save Minutes, You Save Time

288.   No Hypocrisy

289.   A’s Attract A’s And C’s Attract C’s

290.   Create And Expand Your Financial Slack

291.   What Has Worth Is Worth Paying For

292.   Life Gives You What You Expect From It

293.   Calm During Chaos

294.   You Cannot Drive Forward By Constantly Looking In The Rear-View Mirror

295.   You Can’t Get Upset When You Ask For My Opinion And I Give It To You

296.   Write That Angry Email, Read It, Then Read It Again, Then Delete It

297.   Feed Your Faith And Starve Your Fear

298.   It’s Sorry When An Organization Enables Laziness

299.   Knowledge Is Power If You Know How To Use It

300.   The Body, Mind, And Soul Have This In Common: Garbage In, Garbage Out

Conclusion

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

There are many people to thank for the lessons and proverbs in this book that are obviously a major part of my life. I want to thank my Mom and Dad for establishing that critical foundation as a kid those first eighteen years. Special thanks to Connie Freriks who helped edit this book. I had originally gone down a certain path with some of these in my attempt to be funny, pithy, even dare I say to be ‘cool.’ She steered me back as she always does, professionally and out of love. I am eternally grateful to her for that. I want to thank Rex Freriks for his help in editing this book, his constant encouragement, and his introspection that made this book better.

I wouldn’t be where I am or have such a strong foundation of wisdom, maturity, and just plain insight, without the immense goodness from other authors, leaders I’ve worked with or been around, supervisors, friends, chance contacts, droppers of knowledge, and purveyors of wisdom. I want to thank each and every one of them.

FOREWORD

I have been collecting these for a while, some for many years. I knew this book would be written at the right time. I wrote all three hundred lesson titles in an Excel spreadsheet. I may have added some notes about them along the way, but my initial focus was to just get the three hundred down. Once I had all three hundred, I ensured there weren’t any repeats. There were, weird how that happened. I changed those out. I then used the randomize function to mix them up. As you may imagine, as I was writing these, some may have been related to the ones near them, especially if I was writing a group at the same time. So, there is no reason except chance where each one sits in here.

You may see a handful of subjects, topics, behaviors, beliefs, and positions if not repeated used to inform multiple other lessons. Each of these three hundred are mutually exclusive but there is a real synergy in the collective.

INTRODUCTION

These lessons, these proverbs are the product of nearly four decades of experiences as an adult. Many of these have been forged in the crucible of life. Having a father that’s a Sicilian-American, U.S. Marine, and a Catholic gave me a phenomenal foundation of wisdom. This wisdom was honed, put through the furnace, and forged under great pressure, during a 21+ years career in Special Operations. I have continued on a path toward better wisdom, through trial and error, introspection, and validation in my civilian career, now close to 20 years and counting. With my 17 books (counting this one) I have adjusted, added new ones, deleted ones that no longer apply, and perfected many of these. These lessons, these proverbs, are a peak behind the curtain. The title, The Red Pill on Wisdom, is a metaphor for the choice between the brutal truths, autonomy, and understanding of reality. We may not like it, we may love it, we may not agree with it, or we may embrace it. That’s the point.

1

60194.jpg

BUILD AND MAINTAIN A STRONG CULTURE

C ulture is such a powerful thing. It is a set of beliefs, values, and way of doing things. It can be positive or negative – strong or weak. And the members of the group maintain the culture for better or for worse. For example, if a team has a culture of excellence, members of that group will ensure excellence is achieved by the group and by each individual or those individuals will be ‘coached’ or removed. Conversely, if a team has a culture of shoddy work and poor morale, that culture will be maintained without a stronger infusion to counter it. Culture is hard to change in the short term – it takes a while. A strong culture promotes a sense of belonging, ownership, camaraderie, a sense of purpose, an environment of we over me, and manifests itself by members of the group working toward common goals over individual desires. A strong culture exudes a feeling of solidarity and identity. And it influences most everything members of the group do. There may be internal or external events or environmental factors impacting a team or organization, but with a strong culture most anything can be overcome. You will want to build a strong culture and maintain it over time – that should be a primary goal of any leader.

2

60194.jpg

THE WISEST MAN IN HISTORY – SOLOMON – WHEN HE WAS GIVEN THE CHANCE TO HAVE ANYTHING HE WANTED – ASKED GOD FOR WISDOM AND DISCERNMENT

W hen Solomon became king of Israel, following his father David, God gave him a chance to ask Him for anything he wanted. In 1 Kings 3:1-15 he asked God for wisdom and discernment. Instead of asking for a thing, or things, or for something to happen, he asked for wisdom and discernment – that’s pretty powerful. And because he didn’t ask for things or for something to happen, God not only gave him the wisdom and discernment he requested, he became the wealthiest and most sought-after man in history according to the Bible. He is known for his wisdom. The book of Proverbs is his eternal gift to all of us. " The proverbs of Solomon son of David, king of Israel; for attaining wisdom and discipline; for understanding words of insights; for acquiring a disciplined and prudent life, for doing what is right and just and fair; for giving prudence to the simple, knowledge and discretion to the young – let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance – for understanding proverbs and parables, the sayings and riddles of the wise. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline ." (Pro 1:1-7, NIV). Wisdom is a capability to think and act using common sense, understanding, experience, knowledge and insight. Seek wisdom and use it for the good of all.

3

60194.jpg

THINGS DON’T GET EASIER; YOU MUST HANDLE HARD BETTER

I t’s natural to think or hope things will get easier as you move along in life, and in some cases it does get easier. For the most part, life is hard, things are hard and it doesn’t necessarily get easier as you mature, get better, and get older. You need to be able to handle hard better. I’ve been doing ‘hard’ physical training my whole adult life – literally my whole adult life. I wouldn’t say it’s gotten easier. I definitely handle hard better. That is a metaphor for life. Impossible deadlines, massive amounts of work, competing priorities, the inability to be in three places at the same time, massive family responsibilities, physical limitations, horrible timing, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. And that is just a Tuesday – for most people. It doesn’t get easier; you must handle hard better. Yes, with experience, you pick up some tools of the trade, some tricks of the trade, some best practices, some rhythm, some breaks along the way, some luck, some things fall off your plate, and you simply get better at some things; and it appears it can get easier – until Wednesday. And it all starts again. Condition your mind and your body to not hope for things to be easier but to handle hard better.

4

60194.jpg

DO NOT OVER COMPLICATE THINGS

K eep things simple. That’s been a mantra of mine, my whole life. I didn’t read it in a book or wasn’t taught this little gem by someone, I just figured it out all by myself. I realized early on and often that things may be too complicated and a lot of people over complicate things. So, I strive to keep things simple in my life and to simplify areas