H.O.P.E.: Helping Other People Endure

By Pam Gray

Have you experienced trauma in your life—a chronic health condition, a horrible car accident, natural disasters, abuse, or PTSD? Have you questioned how God could use your pain to help others as you continue to glorify him?

H.O.P.E. takes you through steps to use your suffering to benefit and comfort others. Discover how:

• God can use your trials.
• You can minister to others.
• How to encourage others.
• Be available for a hurting friend.
• To set goals.
• Asking for help isn’t a bad thing.
• To find support.
• To handle your grief.
• To move forward in faith.

God comforts you, so now you can be his light to shine and comfort others.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Oct 3, 2023
• ISBN: 9798385007257

Pam Gray

Pam Gray has served God with her husband for over forty-eight years. They are retired and live in East Tennessee near the beautiful Smoky Mountains. They have numerous grandchildren and now have their first great-grandson. Pam has been a speaker, teacher, and mentor to many. She and her husband served in six different states and on the mission field in the third-world country of St. Vincent, located in the Windward Islands.

Book preview

Copyright © 2023 Pam Gray.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by

any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying,

recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system

without the written permission of the author except in the case of

brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author

and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of

the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of

people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

844-714-3454

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or

links contained in this book may have changed since publication and

may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those

of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher,

and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

New Living Translation (NLT)

Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015

by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House

Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

ISBN: 979-8-3850-0724-0 (sc)

ISBN: 979-8-3850-0726-4 (hc)

ISBN: 979-8-3850-0725-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2023917396

WestBow Press rev. date: 10/02/2023

Dedicate

d to

my loyal confidant, Cindy Irwin

all my wonderful grandchildren

Staten, who always keeps me smiling

and fills my heart with joy

and all my dear friends and family

who have prayed for me throughout my journey

Follow God’s example in everything you do,

because you are his dear children.

Live a life filled with love for others,

following the example of Christ.

Ephesians 5:1–2 (NLT)

CONTENTS

Preface

Chapter 1.     Why Me, Lord?

Chapter 2.     Surviving Hardships

Chapter 3.     Finding Your Own Ministry

Chapter 4.     The Gift of Encouragement

Chapter 5.     Hugs

Chapter 6.     Lessons of Life

Chapter 7.     We Don’t Always Get a Miracle

Chapter 8.     Circle of Support

Chapter 9.     Grief

Chapter 10.   Goals

Chapter 11.   Faithful Fortitude

Chapter 12.   Be Available

Chapter 13.   Let Your Light Shine

Chapter 14.   Emotional Abuse and Redemption

Chapter 15.   Continuing in H.O.P.E.

Epilogue: Living Still

My Family in Photos

Helpful Scriptures

Spirit-Lifters and Thoughts to Ponder

PREFACE

H.O.P.E. (Helping Other People Endure) is a story that is very close to my heart.

Have you ever reached that point in your life when you asked Why me, Lord? and truly wanted to know the answer? I went through that experience and found my answer, which became a big part of my ministry. I wanted to share how it happened.

This book was written as an instrument for inspiring others as they find their answers in Christ. We all go through our own trials and need comfort as we continue our journey.

May you find true blessings in life as you continue your walk with God.

Your Servant and His,

Pam Gray

CHAPTER 1

WHY ME, LORD?

By the time I was in my twenties, I had endured an enormous amount of adversity, and I couldn’t help but ask, Why me, Lord? The answer came to me one Sunday morning from a sermon that Bob, my husband, preached. The scripture God had inspired him to share that day was 2 Corinthians 1:3–4. I had read those verses many times before, but on that particular day it was as if God was speaking directly to me—the words leapt right off the page! Those precious words stirred my heart as they never had before.

Second Corinthians 1:3–4 (NLT) says:

All praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. He is the source of every mercy and the God who comforts us. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given to us.

When Bob reached the part so that we can comfort others, it all became crystal clear to me. Those two little words kept echoing in my mind and gave me my reason why—so that I could comfort others too. This was my reason, my purpose. Everything I had gone through, all my pain and suffering, wasn’t going to be for nothing. God could use my hardships so that I could be a comfort to others, just as he was for me.

I thought my trials were something I was supposed to endure, even though I knew God was my comforter. Now I knew there was a reason for it all as he would use that pain to help others. I do not claim to have gone through every trial known to man, but I now know that my suffering will be used by God.

He does not tell us that he will comfort us in some of our troubles; he says all of them. For every single troubling thing we endure, God will continue to come alongside us to render aid in our time of need.

My life changed that day. This particular verse of scripture spoke to me in a way that gave my life new meaning, and it showed me a ministry that our Lord could use for his benefit. I have listened to hundreds of my husband’s powerful sermons preached over the years. When he spoke from the pulpit, he always spoke straight from God’s Word, which gave me insight on how to incorporate those messages into my daily life. But on this day, the scripture he spoke about, which was in God’s perfect timing, was the answer to my question, Why me, Lord?

The first part of verse 3 states that God is the Father of mercy. He has compassion for us; therefore he comforts us. What a wonderful blessing! As we walk daily in our relationship with God, he shows mercy as we feel our pain, whether that pain is physical, emotional, or spiritual.

The second part of the verse, which says he comforts us, then requires action. To comfort someone, you must first hear what the person is saying, and then you can encourage them by being willing to share your understanding. Listening says to them clearly that you care and want to help ease their pain.

The first part of the verse shows tenderness, while the second part regarding comfort shows validity. In 2 Corinthians, God used Paul and Timothy to help the Corinthians in their own affliction. God provided them with help and comfort so they could transmit that comfort to others. In all this, it helped them to praise God even more!

The comfort that we receive from our heavenly Father isn’t just for us. He wants us to do something in response to his comfort. We all go through adversities so that (2 Corinthians 1:4) we receive our assignment. We must carry out the second part in order to make our pain count for something good.

Once you have experienced anguish from any sort of trouble, you can identify with others who are hurting. You can then understand how it feels to be in pain and can put your actions into comforting them, just as God did for you.

When the scripture states in all our troubles or distress (as translated in some Bible versions) it means those caused by painful pressure. The comforting comes from the help that removes that pressure so that one may breathe again. It literally means so that one may bear the affliction without fainting.

There were many times in my life when I felt I couldn’t breathe or handle one more ounce of pain, physical or emotional. Only by knowing that I had God’s comfort was I able to gain relief from that pressure in order to carry on. Now I can use that same comfort to reach out and comfort others who share my plight.

Being Christians does not mean we won’t go through any trials or pain in our lives. First Peter 4:12 (NLT) says, Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials you are going through as if something strange were happening to you.

Multiple times in the Bible, the Lord states that he will be with us. He will never fail or forsake us. We are not alone, but we will encounter various afflictions in our lives. We need to let God use us as his instruments, as he used Paul and Timothy in Corinthians, to help others. Our heavenly Father does not want us to hide our wounds but to open up in a way where we can share them with others so that they too can feel the loving arms of Jesus embracing them.

We are all broken, so don’t be afraid to expose your brokenness. Some of