He’s a Good Neighor: An MMF Erotic Romance: Shared With His Friends, #2

By Kristin Lance

My husband's prank war with the neighbor has gotten out of control. Now they need to learn to get along, or may just have to share me with his biggest rival.

Our new neighbor seems like a nice enough guy, and he's easy on the eyes, too. But my husband took an instant dislike to him. If the two of them hadn't started this full scale prank war, I would never have interfered.

Now one prank has taken things way too far, and he might just have to share me with his biggest rival. And that won't be the only naughty thing he desires.

 

Explicit Content: 18+ This is a romantic erotic story about a wife discovering her love for leather corsets and spit roasting, a sweetheart of a husband who might just be bisexual, and the neighbor who comes between them. Yeah, that was a pun.

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kristin Lance
• Release date: Sep 24, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215939611

Book preview

Chapter 1

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Erica

It’s like he intentionally put out those lawn ornaments to irritate me. My husband was pacing back and forth across the living room like a deranged idiot. I sat back on the sofa with my coffee and watched him.

Ian, they’re quirky garden gnomes. They’re funny.

He set his hands on hips and narrowed his eyes at me. One of the gnomes is flipping me off.

It’s a sculpture. I don’t think it’s specifically flipping you off, just the world in general. I was trying to hold in laughter and take my husband seriously, but I only had so much self-control. Our new neighbor seemed like an interesting guy, but Ian had gotten a poor impression early on and refused to change his mind, so neither of us had gotten to know him.

We didn’t move out of apartments and into a neighborhood to be flipped off by gnomes. Ian peeked out of the curtains, frowning. Shit, it’s still flipping me off. I swear the middle finger is aimed straight at our house.

Well, perhaps if you hadn’t shot his other gnome with a BB gun, the gnome population wouldn’t be mad at you. I sipped my coffee and tried to look serious.

That gnome was peeing on our lawn! He deserved to die. He narrowed his eyes at me. I can see your lips twitching. This isn’t funny, this is a serious situation.

Again, it was a sculpture. That you shot.

A sculpture with his dick out over our lawn. This means war.

And by war, you mean...

He flopped down on the sofa next to me and pulled out his phone. What do people do that their neighbors really hate? We are going to have a very loud party. VERY LOUD.

I patted his thigh, letting out the laughter I had been trying to hold back. Right. So you’ve lost your mind.

He’s new to Frasier. There’s no way he’ll be able to compete with my popularity. This was a little hard to take seriously, because even though we’d both grown up in our small mountain town, his popularity was questionable. Especially if he kept shooting things with his new BB gun. He had found it at a garage sale and it was hot pink and looked like a toy. And it was still not acceptable to use in a neighborhood, no matter how rural.

I tried to reason with him one last time. You hate parties. And socializing. And loud music. Ian was quiet for a moment, then he perked up and started typing on his phone.

You’re right. I’m going to Google ways to piss off your neighbor that don’t require interacting with other humans.

Or you could make friends with him. I think we all have a lot of the same hobbies. Yesterday, he was out in his driveway, tuning the brakes on his mountain bike. And he wouldn’t have moved to Mackenzie Creek if he didn’t like winter sports. I wonder if he skis or snowboards.

Friendship is not how this ends, Erica. This is war. It was hard to believe Ian’s super serious face, but I tried to pretend like I was team Ian. He paused, eyebrows up. Was it a nice mountain bike?

I sipped my coffee. It was that Yeti SB130 you’ve been lusting after.

He grinned even bigger. Ian had the best smiles, with deep dimples and cute crinkles around his eyes. But this smile was one I found suspicious. Is it in orange? Is it still sitting outside?

I don’t know. See? You guys can get along. You like the same bikes. I tried to be encouraging, but I could see the wheels turning in his head. I wasn’t so sure that he was actually planning to go make friends with Trevor. More likely, he had just come up with the perfect prank.

He picked up his phone, frowned at it, and handed it to me. I can’t get this sticker off. See what I mean about war? I left my phone outside for a few minutes, and now it’s got a pill bottle sticker for butt pills on it.

I glanced down at it and snorted, still trying not to laugh. But it was a lost cause. For ‘Rectal Use Only,’ huh? But how do you know Trevor did it?

He’s a pharmacist, Erica. A pharmacist. Who else would have access to butt pill stickers?

You seem to know a lot about him for someone who hates him.

You’re one to talk. He raised the pitch of his voice to mimic me. Oh, he has that orange Yeti you’ve been lusting after.

Erica laughed. I can notice whatever I want to notice about him, because I get along with him. Sometimes I even have friendly neighborly chats with him. Also, I think he’s sexy. I might be into Asian guys.

Not helpful, wife. Ian frowned at me. Is that why you’re watching all of those K Dramas?

No, that’s a coincidence, I lied. He narrowed his eyes, as if squinting could help him see through my very skillful lies. And so, I convinced him in my very favorite way, climbing onto his lap and kissing him. His big hands wrapped around my waist as he pulled me in closer. The new neighbor might be fun to watch, but I had a sexy as hell man of my own, and I grinned down at him before deepening the kiss, feeling him harden between my legs.

Chapter 2

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Trevor

My neighbor came out of her house, and I looked up. I was always on guard, watching for her husband, who was a little insane and an asshole. I peered towards their front door, waiting to make sure that Ian and his BB gun weren’t about to emerge, but she appeared to be alone, so I relaxed back onto my porch swing and sipped my coffee.

It was time to stop lusting after my married neighbor. So I reminded myself for the eight thousandth time that anyone who would marry Ian Porter must have some personality defects, even if they weren’t immediately apparent. Sure, Erica was friendly enough, and gorgeous, but her husband was the kind of guy who shot garden decor with BB guns.

She spotted me and waved, yelling a friendly hello, and I tried to maintain a mask of neighborly innocence as I waved back. Perhaps it would be best to avoid conversations and eye contact, though. I hadn’t talked to them much, not since Ian and I had started our feud, but I found Erica intriguing. She seemed so chill, and not like someone who would marry a psychopath.

She loaded a mountain bike onto a rack on the back of her Subaru. I’d learned through small town gossip that my neighbors owned a company that had something to do with mountain biking, but I didn’t know the full details. With their outdoorsy jobs, both of them had the fit bodies and wholesome white people beauty that seemed common in mountain towns.

Erica had an incredible athlete’s body, and I was into it. She had thick, muscular thighs and a round ass. And I was definitely not checking her ass out right until the moment she turned around. Brushing her wild, curly hair out of her eyes, she smiled, then stared past me, frowning. I followed her gaze to a man who had just parked his neon green Jeep in my driveway, and was walking up to the bike I had leaning against my porch rail.

Is this the free bike? he asked.

What?

From Craigslist, the free bike, the guy said, rolling his eyes. Don’t tell me someone already snagged it. Another car pulled up behind the Jeep, blocking his exit from my driveway. The first guy turned to the second. Dude, I have dibs on the free bike. Go away.

I emailed about it. I think I have dibs, the second guy said.

Hey! Can I wait just in case it’s not the right size for either of you? A third guy had appeared, and I didn’t even know where he had come from. I looked at Erica, whose eyes were wide.

Sorry, she whispered. I’ll yell at him.

There is no free bike, I growled. It was a prank.

Are you serious? I drove all the way down here from Granby. That’s a fucking asshole prank.

It wasn’t my prank. Someone played the prank on me. Another car pulled up, and the guys were getting a little riled up. Guys, seriously, who would give away a five thousand dollar bike for free?

The post said you were giving back to the mountain biking community! A teenage kid standing behind the gathering crowd shouted.

Hey, all of you! We’re going to call the cops if you don’t clear out! Erica yelled, waving her arms.

Are you Erica Porter? The pro mountain biker? The teenager had changed gears and now looked a little star-struck. I used to have that poster of you from mountain bike magazine in my room. He sighed dreamily, and I wondered a little about what he used to do while looking at that poster.

She shot him a look. What? Yes. Will that make you go away?

Will you take a selfie with me? I love your social media. Is Ian around? He’s such a fucking badass.

No, I will not take a selfie, go! Shoo, get out of here! There is no bike!

Another car double parked the others, and a man stuck his head out the window. Are you still giving away that Yeti?

Oh my god, I’m going to kill your husband, I said to Erica.

I mean, are you sure he did this? She paused and tilted her head. No, sorry, I couldn’t even pretend I didn’t think it was him. I’ll murder him for you.

Chapter 3

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Ian

Damn, I wish I was home when the bike thing happened. Joe told me he had to call the police, I said, leaning back on the couch in our office with a satisfied smile. Erica looked a little like she was going to kill me, but I supposed sacrifices must be made in the pursuit of victory. Or something like that.

Erica folded her arms over her boobs. That, plus the tight jaw and irritated frown, were all indicators that I might soon sacrifice sex in the pursuit of victory. But it would be worth it. Probably.

You two are idiots, she said.

Do you know where we could find a used rug? Something that wouldn’t matter if I destroy it. Reddit was a gold mine of prank ideas. Who knew?

No. What? Erica was turning a little red.

Something cheap and disposable. I took a sip of water from my water bottle, scrolling through the suggestion someone had given me and frowning. Where would I get red paint, though? Erica snickered. Why are you laughing already? I haven’t even told you the awesome prank.

Did you leave that water bottle sitting out on the porch, perhaps?

I turned it upside down and found another sticker on the bottom. Dammit. Is this why the kids on the bike team kept asking about feces?

She shrugged. It’s better than the one on your helmet that says ‘for vaginal use only.’ I dove for my helmet with a curse, and sure enough, there was a sticker on the back that I somehow hadn’t noticed. That motherfucker.

Are you kidding me? I will never live this down. You will be coaching the middle school boys until further notice. I started picking at the stupid damn sticker. I could tell she was trying not to laugh. Her blue eyes were sparkling, and she kept nibbling on her bottom lip like she needed pain as a reminder.

Two days later, scrolling through a Reddit thread about things neighbors did that annoyed people enough to move, I landed on the idea of a lifetime. And the idea of a lifetime made me super horny, so everything was working out just as it should. When Erica left to run some errands, I set the scene, lighting candles and turning on some soft music, and opening all the curtains. The thought of what I was about to do turned me on more than I would have expected. When she got back, she shot me a look that