The Swoop! or How Clarence Saved England
()
About this ebook
P. G. Wodehouse
P.G. Wodehouse (1881-1975) nació en Surrey. Tras trabajar un tiempo como periodista en Inglaterra, se trasladó a los Estados Unidos. Escribió numerosas obras de teatro y comedias musicales, y más de noventa novelas. Creador de personajes inolvidables -Jeeves, Bertie Wooster, su tía Agatha, Ukridge, Psmith, Lord Emsworth, los lechuguinos del Club de los Zánganos, y tantos otros, sus obras se reeditan continuamente, como corresponde a uno de los grandes humoristas del siglo.
Read more from P. G. Wodehouse
The Man Upstairs: And Other Stories Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Wodehouse Bestiary: Vintage Animal Tales from the World-Renowned Humorist Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Money For Nothing Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5P. G. Wodehouse: The Complete Works Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Fore!: The Best of Wodehouse on Golf Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Little Nugget Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Clicking of Cuthbert Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Carry On, Jeeves Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The P.G. Wodehouse Collection Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Piccadilly Jim Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Adventures of Sally Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Inimitable Jeeves Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Love Among the Chickens Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Something New Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Related to The Swoop! or How Clarence Saved England
Related ebooks
The Swoop Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Swoop! or, How Clarence Saved England: A Tale of the Great Invasion Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Mystery of the Four Fingers Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Swoop! or, How Clarence Saved England: A Tale of the Great Invasion Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Swoop!: or How Clarence Saved England Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsCourage, True Hearts Sailing in Search of Fortune Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Trail of the Hawk: A Comedy of the Seriousness of Life Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPunch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, August 22, 1917 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsNot Dead Until Nailed Down Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsEnemy Within Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPunch, or the London Charivari, Volume 152, May 2, 1917 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAt Large Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHarper's Young People, March 9, 1880 An Illustrated Weekly Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Greatest Novels Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsKate Plus Ten Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAll on the Irish Shore Irish Sketches Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsOld Offenders And A Few Old Scores Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWaverley Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGermania (Book 5 of the Veteran of Rome Series) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Stark Munro Letters Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5I, Libertine Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Rogue Elephant The Boys' Big Game Series Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Final Solution: A Story of Detection Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Percy F. Westerman – The Complete Collection Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPenrod Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPunch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, April 15, 1914 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Passionate Pilgrim Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPunch, or the London Charivari, Volume 156, Jan. 8, 1919 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe King of Schnorrers - Grotesques and Fantasies: With a Chapter From English Humorists of To-day by J. A. Hammerton Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Outdoor Chums After Big Game Or, Perilous Adventures in the Wilderness Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Humor & Satire For You
Dad Jokes: Over 600 of the Best (Worst) Jokes Around and Perfect Father's Day Gift! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Sex Hacks: Over 100 Tricks, Shortcuts, and Secrets to Set Your Sex Life on Fire Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Best F*cking Activity Book Ever: Irreverent (and Slightly Vulgar) Activities for Adults Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/530 Interactive Brainteasers to Warm Up your Brain Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5101 Fun Personality Quizzes: Who Are You . . . Really?! Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Tidy the F*ck Up: The American Art of Organizing Your Sh*t Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Great Book of Riddles: 250 Magnificent Riddles, Puzzles and Brain Teasers Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mindful As F*ck: 100 Simple Exercises to Let That Sh*t Go! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Best Joke Book (Period): Hundreds of the Funniest, Silliest, Most Ridiculous Jokes Ever Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Stay Married: The Most Insane Love Story Ever Told Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Screwtape Letters Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Solutions and Other Problems Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Everything I Know About Love: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Will Judge You by Your Bookshelf Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Go the F**k to Sleep Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer and Longer: A Novella Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5John Dies at the End Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Anxious People: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Love and Other Words Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Soulmate Equation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5My Favorite Half-Night Stand Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Big Swiss: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar...: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Can't Make This Up: Life Lessons Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Farrell Covington and the Limits of Style: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Scrappy Little Nobody Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Related categories
Reviews for The Swoop! or How Clarence Saved England
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
The Swoop! or How Clarence Saved England - P. G. Wodehouse
The Swoop!
or
How Clarence Saved England
by P. G. Wodehouse
© 2023 SMK Books
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, used, or transmitted in any form or manner by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the express, prior written permission of the author and/or publisher, except for brief quotations for review purposes only.
Hardcover ISBN 13: 978-1-5154-3256-2
Trade Paperback ISBN 13: 978-1-6045-9834-6
E-book ISBN 13: 978-1-5154-5755-8
Table of Contents
Preface
Part One
Chapter 1 AN ENGLISH BOY’S HOME
Chapter 2 THE INVADERS
Chapter 3 ENGLAND’S PERIL
Chapter 4 WHAT ENGLAND THOUGHT OF IT
Chapter 5 THE GERMANS REACH LONDON
Chapter 6 THE BOMBARDMENT OF LONDON
Chapter 7 A CONFERENCE OF THE POWERS
Part Two
Chapter 1 IN THE BOY SCOUTS’ CAMP
Chapter 2 AN IMPORTANT ENGAGEMENT
Chapter 3 A BIRD’S-EYE VIEW OF THE SITUATION
Chapter 4 CLARENCE HEARS IMPORTANT NEWS
Chapter 5 SEEDS OF DISCORD
Chapter 6 THE BOMB-SHELL
Chapter 7 THE BIRD
Chapter 8 THE MEETING AT THE SCOTCH STORES
Chapter 9 THE GREAT BATTLE
Chapter 10 THE TRIUMPH OF ENGLAND
Chapter 11 CLARENCE—THE LAST PHASE
Preface
It may be thought by some that in the pages which follow I have painted in too lurid colours the horrors of a foreign invasion of England. Realism in art, it may be argued, can be carried too far. I prefer to think that the majority of my readers will acquit me of a desire to be unduly sensational. It is necessary that England should be roused to a sense of her peril, and only by setting down without flinching the probable results of an invasion can this be done. This story, I may mention, has been written and published purely from a feeling of patriotism and duty. Mr. Alston Rivers’ sensitive soul will be jarred to its foundations if it is a financial success. So will mine. But in a time of national danger we feel that the risk must be taken. After all, at the worst, it is a small sacrifice to make for our country.
P. G. WODEHOUSE.
The Bomb-Proof Shelter, London, W.
Part One
Chapter 1
AN ENGLISH BOY’S HOME
August the First, 19—
Clarence Chugwater looked around him with a frown, and gritted his teeth.
England—my England!
he moaned.
Clarence was a sturdy lad of some fourteen summers. He was neatly, but not gaudily, dressed in a flat-brimmed hat, a coloured handkerchief, a flannel shirt, a bunch of ribbons, a haversack, football shorts, brown boots, a whistle, and a hockey-stick. He was, in fact, one of General Baden-Powell’s Boy Scouts.
Scan him closely. Do not dismiss him with a passing glance; for you are looking at the Boy of Destiny, at Clarence MacAndrew Chugwater, who saved England.
To-day those features are familiar to all. Everyone has seen the Chugwater Column in Aldwych, the equestrian statue in Chugwater Road (formerly Piccadilly), and the picture-postcards in the stationers’ windows. That bulging forehead, distended with useful information; that massive chin; those eyes, gleaming behind their spectacles; that tout ensemble; that je ne sais quoi.
In a word, Clarence!
He could do everything that the Boy Scout must learn to do. He could low like a bull. He could gurgle like a wood-pigeon. He could imitate the cry of the turnip in order to deceive rabbits. He could smile and whistle simultaneously in accordance with Rule 8 (and only those who have tried this know how difficult it is). He could spoor, fell trees, tell the character from the boot-sole, and fling the squaler. He did all these things well, but what he was really best at was flinging the squaler.
Clarence, on this sultry August afternoon, was tensely occupied tracking the family cat across the dining-room carpet by its foot-prints. Glancing up for a moment, he caught sight of the other members of the family.
England, my England!
he moaned.
It was indeed a sight to extract tears of blood from any Boy Scout. The table had been moved back against the wall, and in the cleared space Mr. Chugwater, whose duty it was to have set an example to his children, was playing diabolo. Beside him, engrossed in cup-and-ball, was his wife. Reggie Chugwater, the eldest son, the heir, the hope of the house, was reading the cricket news in an early edition of the evening paper. Horace, his brother, was playing pop-in-taw with his sister Grace and Grace’s fiance, Ralph Peabody. Alice, the other Miss Chugwater, was mending a Badminton racquet.
Not a single member of that family was practising with the rifle, or drilling, or learning to make bandages.
Clarence groaned.
If you can’t play without snorting like that, my boy,
said Mr. Chugwater, a little irritably, you must find some other game. You made me jump just as I was going to beat my record.
Talking of records,
said Reggie, Fry’s on his way to his eighth successive century. If he goes on like this, Lancashire will win the championship.
I thought he was playing for Somerset,
said Horace.
That was a fortnight ago. You ought to keep up to date in an important subject like cricket.
Once