The Power of a Dad
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Society thrives when the family thrives, and family thrives in wholeness and completion. Take the king or queen off a chessboard, and the game doesn't go as it should. You take the queen, and every other piece is exposed and vulnerable. You take the king, and the game is over.
Sadly, we've watched incompleteness in the family increase dram
J. Scott Reed
Scott Reed has been a worship leader and pastor since 2000. He currently serves as a chaplain for professional sports and lives in Los Angeles with his wife, Holly, and two boys, Tommy and Brandon. He and his family co-lead a house ministry focused on bringing sons and daughters in the arts and entertainment industry into spiritual families. Scott is a songwriter and recording artist, and he has collaborated on and released dozens of solo and group projects since 1994.
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The Power of a Dad - J. Scott Reed
In a day when being a good Dad has lost its significance and value, Scott Reed comes along to teach and inspire us with The Power of a Dad. Read it and be blessed!
— Jim Cymbala,
pastor of the Brooklyn Tabernacle Church,
bestselling author of Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire
When you are handed your first child and the nurse says, Here you go, Dad!
you’re given a title you’ll spend the rest of your life living into and up to. For many, we weren’t given a healthy map for how to do this well; that is why having trusted guides like Scott Reed is critical for us and the kids entrusted to us. Devour this book and discover the incredible power of being a Dad!
— Steve Carter,
pastor + author of The Thing Beneath the Thing
Scott Reed has written a remarkable work affirming the crucial role and influence of fathers on our society. This is a must-read for Dads and Dads-to-be. The pages of this book are both convicting and inspiring.
— Don Liesemer Jr.,
CEO of Hockey Ministries International
The
Power
of a
Dad
How culture is transformed
when men accept the invitation
to love sons and daughters with
the heart of a good father
J. Scott Reed
Contributors: Holly Reed & Joelle Yamada
Greyscale Trilogy Publishing logoThe Power of a Dad
Trilogy Christian Publishers
A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Trinity Broadcasting Network
2442 Michelle Drive Tustin, CA 92780
Copyright © 2023 by J. Scott Reed
Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The NIV
and New International Version
are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™
Scripture quotations marked ESV are taken from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. ©All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without written permission from the author. All rights reserved. Printed in the USA.
Rights Department, 2442 Michelle Drive, Tustin, CA 92780.
Trilogy Christian Publishing/TBN and colophon are trademarks of Trinity Broadcasting Network.
For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Trilogy Christian Publishing.
Trilogy Disclaimer: The views and content expressed in this book are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect the views and doctrine of Trilogy Christian Publishing or the Trinity Broadcasting Network.
Manufactured in the United States of America
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.
ISBN: 978-8-89041-169-3
E-ISBN: 978-8-89041-170-9
Edited By: Dee Litten Whited
Additional Editing: Joelle Yamada, Andrea Judd, Marc Judd, Melody Davis
Cover Design: Alberto C. Navata Jr.
Interior Design: Laura Cruise
Contributing Writers: Holly Reed, Joelle Yamada
The Dedication
To every man.
Your involvement in this assignment has the potential to impact much more than just your immediate family. It’s critical to the restoration of health and wholeness in our communities and cities. I hope you’ll choose to accept the invitation and walk beside me in this daily adventure of life, love, and power.
The Thanks
To my wife, Holly Michelle—stunning in every way. Having you by my side, my partner, my best friend, has been the greatest gift I’ve ever been given. The pace that you set as a mom has challenged, corrected, grown, and encouraged me as a man and as a Dad. You have freed my heart countless times and given me wings to follow my dreams. This book is equally a result of your life as it is mine.
To my sons, Thomas Isaiah and Brandon David—strong, compassionate, kind, full of faith and wisdom. Thank you for allowing me to practice on you… to try some things, get lots of it wrong, and get some of it right. You often had more grace for me than I had for myself. This title of Dad
that I carry was a gift from you two. So, thank you… with everything I am… thank you.
To my Dad, Larry Reed—kind, patient, sensitive, gracious, and generous. You raised me with such consistent and unconditional love. You taught me how to cherish moments
and that we should never take them for granted. I always wanted to be a Dad because of what you modeled to me.
To my mom and sister, Dee Litten Whited and Joelle Yamada—thank you both for showing me what it looked like to live with a heart of adventure and creativity. Mom, you taught me how to write and always do the things I was passionate about. You consistently provided wind to my sails as a man. Jo, you spoke so much life and belief into your little brother, and I’ll always be so grateful for your love and unending support.
To my best friends, Tim Davis and Marc Judd—you have sharpened me for thirty years now, building me up, challenging me as husband and Dad. Thank you for letting me have a front-row seat into your lives and for being the heart of a Dad to me so, so many times. I’m forever better because of you two.
To my surrogate Dads, Max Mace and Warren Judd—I hope to be a man like you when I grow up… There’s not enough space to write my gratitude here, so I saved some room for you both in an upcoming chapter.
To my heavenly Abba—You’re my Source, my Strength, my whole life. Anything in me that looks like You is grace. Thank You for trusting me with the stewardship of some of Your sons and daughters while I’m on this earth. Let me be a reflection of Your perfect heart of a Dad to a world desperate for who You are and desperate to understand and know who You’ve called us to be.
Contents
The Dedication
The Thanks
The Introduction
The Invitation
The Opportunity
The Key
The Reason
The Surrogate
The Raising
The Identity
The Family
The Eddy
The Fire
The Promise
The Turning
The Beginning
The Resources
The Introduction
"I f I ever write a book, it’s gonna be about…" For at least ten years, I’ve said this often to my wife, Holly. Then I’d proceed to talk incessantly about a story I’d heard, something I’d seen in the news or on social media, or maybe a new statistic that pointed to either a beautiful outcome or a terribly tragic one that, in my view, was a direct result of the behavior of a Dad. ( Please note: Despite being technically
grammatically incorrect, the capitalization of the word Dad throughout the manuscript is intentional to highlight its importance .) It became a given in that conversation for me to then say something like, There aren’t many forces I know in this world that have more power than a Dad. Power for good, or power for great evil.
I could clearly see that the behavior of this extremely important character had the potential to build up or tear down like few forces could, and the evidence of that was staring us right in the face everywhere we looked.
The negative reports and rotten fruit all around us was a heartbreaking reality. Being a man who had the gift of having a great Dad, it was extra difficult to fathom or wrap my head around the evidence. I mean, this epidemic was not a small thing. It had fingers that reached into every part of society, of family, of business, and it had a massive impact on culture itself.
I realize this has been an issue for generations, but I began noticing a significant shift in the nineties on sitcom TV. Some of my favorite shows were more and more overtly portraying Dads as blithering idiots, constantly tripping over themselves and making small problems into big problems. It made for good comedy, for sure, but it promoted the narrative that Dads should stay out of the way, because they’d just mess it up if they didn’t.
Although this trend in the media was a backhanded compliment to women, making us grateful for our strong, capable moms, it also made it much more acceptable for the Dad in the story to sit in the background, be the butt of the joke, or disappear altogether. Heck, it became standard practice for a Dad to simply say, Go ask your mom,
or Whatever your mom says.
Why did this become so normal
? Well, the sobering answer was because moms tended to stay. Moms tended not to quit. Moms put everyone else first. Moms did whatever it took for however long it took to care for her family. Dads, on the other hand, have too often embraced the false narrative of nineties TV and become either passive observers, abandoners, quitters, or abdicators of responsibility. Court systems have most often given custody to moms because of this broken reality. I understand that this is immensely layered. I realize there have been plenty of unjust rulings handed down. And I know there are really great Dads out there who are doing their very best to write a different story. But, in spite of all that, the fact remains that fatherlessness has become far too acceptable and even expected in our country—and it’s devastating.
I believe this has been a calculated effort by an army of unseen forces… that the enemy of our souls—the one who comes to steal, kill, and destroy—has no greater weapon and no greater focus of attention and effort than to obliterate the family unit. By removing a critical voice—a critical voice of stability, wisdom, comfort, courage, and strength—you begin to hear how much the music changes. What was melody and harmony becomes dissonance and tension. It’s not hard to see that our enemy is accomplishing his goal.
The mountains of research and data are truly staggering. My mother (also my world-class research assistant) sent me dozens of articles and statistics that clearly prove this, and it’s mind-boggling. All point to the crippling effects on kids who don’t have a Dad present, or