Bastard Child: A Foster Child's Guide to Success

By Kawaya Haynes and A. Brytney Reaves

In the gripping and inspiring tale of "Bastard Child," we follow the courageous journey of a young African American woman navigating the treacherous waters of abuse in Southern California during her twenties. In the face of domestic violence, depression, and the struggles

• Language: English
• Publisher: L.I.F.E.Line
• Release date: Jul 26, 2023
• ISBN: 9798988819202

Book preview

Bastard Child

A Foster Child's Guide to Success

Kawaya Haynes & A. Brytney Reaves

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Queen Ex Literature

BASTARD CHILD: A FOSTER CHILD'S GUIDE TO SUCCESS

By Kawaya Haynes & A. Brytney Reaves

Queen Ex Literature / L.I.F.E.Line Publications

Printed & published in the USA

Copyright © 2023 by Kawaya Haynes & A. Brytney Reaves

All rights reserved.

No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher or author, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law.

This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that neither the author nor the publisher is engaged in rendering legal, investment, accounting or other professional services. While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional when appropriate. Neither the publisher nor the author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, personal, or other damages.

Book Cover by Queen Ex Literature.

Photographs provided by Kawaya Haynes.

ISBN 979-8-9888192-0-2

ISBN 979-8-9888192-1-9

ISBN 979-8-9888192-2-6

First edition 2023

Contents

Dedication

Dedication

A Note From the Authors

1.The Game of Life

2.Talking to Yourself Is A Thing…FRFR

3.Taking Control

4.Balance Is Really A Thing...FRFR

5.I Thought I Was Gonna Get A Break…

Journal Prompts

6.Earth, Wind, and Fire

NOTES

7.Tough Cookie

NOTES

8.Me vs. Me

About Kawaya Haynes

About A. Brytney Reaves

I dedicate my book to everyone that I have crossed thus far friends that turned into enemies, ex-boyfriends, teachers that gave me extra time and attention during school, former employers, landlords, friends - everyone’s role was needed.

-Kawaya Haynes

To the strong and silent, those who suffer long and quiet, those whose voice seems to be just below the surface; your time is here.

To my MindDown Family, Ivery Lewis, and other mentors who have been active during the time I have written this book, thank you for letting me borrow your faith, for keeping me empowered, and for the principles I had to learn to get here. Thank you.

-Love, Bryt Bryt

A Note From the Authors

As a reader of Bastard Child, you hold the chance to reflect, be motivated, and be encouraged to simply become. The title of every chapter highlights keys to success Kawaya has learned along her journey. Tough relationships, self-exploration, and understanding are threads throughout Bastard Child, weaving lessons of fundamental concepts that led to breakthrough time and time again. Perhaps knowing that we are not alone in this world, despite its madness, will be less maddening. If you allow it, reading Bastard Child can open your eyes to possibilities beyond your circumstance.

Chapter one

The Game of Life

This was the fourth time I had left. Voluntarily relocated. I served toodles and deuces on a chilled plate of feigned indifference and delicate confidence. Did I care? Of course, but I’d be damned if I was to show it. All the fucks I could have given were tucked away in my pocketed fists inside my jacket as I waited for the Pacific Surfliner bus to aid me in my escape. The chance to be grown and truly lift off from my foster parent’s grasp was upon me. I loved them, but goodbyes were necessary. Feeling stuck to my childhood traumas, the habitual questions of self-worth, and the judgment of my foster parents felt overwhelming. My power was draining every day back then. I remember reminding myself that there was more to life and more to me, but even then, life always felt like I was grasping at air in the middle of falling.

Will I be able to take care of myself? If I was raised by my bio mom would my life be different? What if I can’t get around? What if?

Time passed slowly at the station, forcing my mind to meander through flashbacks of my extremely religious foster family. I came to them a princess of the streets, gang related, and familiar with drugs. Imagine finally feeling some level of security and stability after a childhood of chaos, only for it to cost you every ounce of peace that is supposed to come with that safety.

As a teen, I wanted to cheer, but that was sinning. Hanging out with schoolmates was sinning. Dating was sinning. Even asking questions about the curiosities any teenage girl would have would lead to me being wrong, being abnormal, and yearning for normal high school experiences. Everything about me, including my entire life before foster care, was a worthless sin. Naturally, I had to unsubscribe from the bullshit and sever every attachment to that situation. I was twenty-one years old and vowed not to return home a fifth time.

Can you help me get ready, Kawaya? The day I left started like any other. My foster mom poked her head in my room before leaving home.

She had a brown lace shirt laid out. It was cute. Her infamous black headband kept curly wig tresses from getting into her face. Like normal, we headed down the stairs to get the rest of her things. I helped prepare her for departure like any other day, but this day would be a final goodbye.

Alright, now. I’m ready to go. I’ll see you later. she said.

Okay. Goodbye. I looked at her a few seconds longer to imprint the look on her face. She had no idea how wrong she was. My foster mom wouldn’t see me for years after this moment. It was like the Judas Kiss of farewells as she hugged me.

Bye-bye, sweetheart.

As soon as her car peeled off, I swiftly shuffled past my foster dad’s room where he occupied his gray lounge chair, his interest deep into the morning news. This was my chance. All I had to do was act normal. I discreetly filled two trash bags with clothes, essentials, and toiletries.

When I leave this time, I’ve got to figure it out. I kept telling myself as I packed. Teary-eyed and submerged in a tidal wave of emotions, I repeated my mantra over and over and over, nervous if I was going to live up to it and fearful that I’d somehow hit a lower point than this. I got a text from Sheldon.

Status?

All green lights.

I’m ready.

You’re around the corner right?

Fasho

Gimme 5

I’ll be outside

He aint notice u?

Nah.

I’m about to leave now.

I gathered myself as if I was going to school and calmly stepped into the doorframe.

Hey, Dad, I’m going to school now.

School?

Yes. I have to go in today. I’ll be going now.

Never once taking his eye off the screen, he waves and says, Alright. Have a good day.

Within seconds I was out the front door, grabbing my two trash bags and Sheldon was pulling up right on time. College wasn’t even a destination. We rode in tense silence as we contemplated the consequences of our life choices. I felt like I was at the start of the Game of Life at a crossroads, but I had already made my first big decision.

Sheldon, tall and athletic with kind eyes, tried to cheer me up. He was taking me in. What that could mean for our relationship seemed to rattle his nerves the further we drove. We agreed that it would be temporary but didn’t specify the length of my stay. We were together but still rocky from the ignorance of our youth and the pressures I put on him the way my foster parents had pressured me. He was trying to love someone who was undecided about who she was and wanted to be. Still, he was there.

Hey, you okay, babe?

I nodded, turning my gaze toward the moving road. It was warm out and the windows were down, making the plastic bags flap in the wind. It was a reminder that I was on the run.

As if reading my mind, Sheldon asked, When do you think they’ll figure out you’re gone for good?

I shrugged. Could be tonight. Maybe not.

I paused.