I Am Exactly Who God Wanted Me To Be: A True Story of How Abandonment, Betrayal and Brokenness Can Lead To Discovering Who You're Destined to Be

By Nakia Renee

In a world where body image, fame, and fortune are top priorities, it is sometimes difficult to be okay with being an original. We spend our lives trying to change the very things that make us unique, to fit into someone else's mold, not once realizing it is a part of our

• Language: English
• Publisher: Nakia Renee Green
• Release date: Apr 5, 2023
• ISBN: 9781088089927

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Dedication

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you…

God, I thank you for your strategic plan. Although I did not understand it, you gave me strength, guidance, and loving correction along the way. Your perfect presence in my life is unexplainable yet so rewarding. I may not always live according to your plan, but it takes little to get me back on track. Thank you for entrusting me with this assignment and giving me the grace to get through it.

Demarkus, Jasmyne, and DJ. Thank you for being my reasons to never give up. Being your mother has been nothing short of amazing. I may not have always gotten it right, but we all survived! You three love me despite who I was, what I’ve been through, or my flaws. You have always believed and seen the best in me. I grind for you and I hope to make you proud. I love you three with all that I am.

To my parents, I say thank you. Thank you for making some tough decisions and letting God’s plan for my life come to fruition. Letting me go must have been the hardest thing you have done, but it was the beginning of God creating me to be who He intended me to be. Someone needed me for their destiny, and that would not have been possible if it had not been for you two. I am so thankful that you were chosen just for me. I love you both beyond measure.

Step, you are God sent. You came along when I was not sure what was ahead. God placed you in my life for a time such as this. You saw the vision and helped me bring it to life. We have established so much more than a working relationship, but a friendship. Your words of wisdom, encouragement, and motivation are appreciated so much more than you know. I am excited about this season and so grateful for you being a part of it! Thank you for being you and the best brand strategist there is.

Finette, what can I say? WE DID IT! You believed in me when I could not see past my pain. You spoke life into me daily, and I am forever grateful for you. You are everything from my accountability partner to my make-up artist, and how can I forget the best photographer ever! You are truly the epitome of my right-hand woman. Get ready, it is only up from here, and I know there is no other place you would rather be than by my side!

Prologue

Being successful is a definition truly defined by the individual living that life. Each of our definitions are different and how we achieved it is also written uniquely. I have lived years measuring my life, my downfalls, and my successes to others. I spent a lot of time in the arena with my downfalls. I often wondered why I was given the obstacles I had to move out of the way. Why were my mountains so hard to climb? Why were my bruises still showing in places I thought were once healed? People looking at where I am today may not see the shadows of my past lurking behind me. They judge how my life should be by the position I hold and the degrees I have behind my name. Really not wanting to peel back the layers of life to get to the real me. On this journey, I had to learn to walk in my truth and be okay with the outcomes. I may not get recognition for overcoming. I may even be ridiculed for the life choices I have made and may continue to make. My roads have led to this current place, where I have learned what I had been looking for, my purpose. Once I opened my heart and God got me alone, he worked with me on creating passionately through my purpose. He also helped me to see that although I was ashamed of all the ugly pieces of my life, I am EXACTLY who God wanted me to be. Take it or leave it. Not by my choice, but yours.

Chapter 1

Think Like A Child

At 5 years old, you are supposed to be thinking about recess and running through the field playing after school. Your days are filled with laughter and dreams of what toys you can ask Santa to bring your way. You are not asked questions that will shape and mold your entire existence. When entering kindergarten, an adult should not depend on you to tell them what you think is best for you. Memories fade over time, but that Fall day in 1981 is still so vivid. Standing on a busy street in Los Angeles, my 20-year-old mother asked me if I wanted to go to Florida. I had no idea of what Florida was, but it sounded like it was somewhere special. I did not know if it was an amusement park, a museum or a store. My imagination could not have conjured up what my yes really meant. The adults in my life were just kids themselves. They were living grown-up lives in a childish way, not realizing that making him pay would ultimately ruin their baby girl's self-perception for years.

My mother was 15 years old when she got pregnant by her 14-year-old boyfriend. She was determined to have someone to love. She lived in a controlling home with her abusive stepfather, and she felt that if she had a baby, she would be free. Whether planned or not, my mother and father created a life they would both lose because they were not as prepared as they thought they would be. My mother would have chosen a baby monkey, if the baby she was carrying was anything but beautiful. She got her wish and had a beautiful baby girl in the spring of 76, who was affectionately nicknamed Munk. When a young girl brings a life into the world, she needs a little guidance. My grandmother supported my young wild child of a mother, but only for a short period. When I was just 6 months, my grandmother, Pearlie Mae, died of what was said to be heart issues. With losing her support system, I was given to my father and his family to raise.

Losing her mother at 16 was difficult especially with a newborn baby. The young love that my mom and dad had fizzled soon after I was born. My mom soon sought love in different places, landing her in the arms of someone else.

I was the first grandchild born into the Joubert family. I lived in the