Two Sides Of A Bi-Polar Survivor

By Anastasia Cassella

Anastasia Marie Cassella’s book, Two Sides of a Bi-Polar Survivor shares the promiscuousness, manic side of a bi-polar survivor, along with the depressive, suicidal side. Read about the pendulum of happy and sad times. This disorder is as hard to diagnose, as it is to live with. Not everyone with this illness is a survivor. Reading Ana’s story might help you acknowledge your own struggles with Bi-Polar, help a friend, or family member appreciate what these survivors endure.

5-Stars: As a survivor of Bi-Polar and DID, my heart goes out to all people who struggle with mental illness in all its many forms. It takes courage to tell your story and the writing can be a great form of therapy. I admire Anastasia’s bravery to write her experience. No one should judge her. Review by Editor at Book Marketing Global Network.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: May 10, 2023
• ISBN: 9781312577398

Book preview

Two Sides Of A Bi-Polar Survivor

By:

Anastasia Marie Cassella

Self-Published Through Lulu

North Carolina, USA

Copyright 2023

ISBN:  978-1-312-57748-0

E-Book ISBN: 978-1-312-57739-8

All Rights Reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form without prior written permission of the author/publisher, except for a brief quote or description for a book review. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the authors’ rights. Purchase only authorized editions.

While the author has provided accurate telephone numbers, address, and email address at the time of publication. Neither the author nor the publisher assumes responsibility for errors or changes that occur after publication and does not assume any responsibility for any other author or third-party websites or their content (book reviews, etc.).

About Anastasia Marie Cassella:

Anastasia was born in Bar Harbor, Maine, and raised in Downeast Maine. She is proud to be an author from Maine and many of her books are centered around one or more locations in Maine. 

Diagnosed with several illnesses, she is determined to fight through her disabilities. She encourages those around to fight for good physical and mental health.

Anastasia has published ten, multi-genre works. She has been writing since she was sixteen, following in her dad’s footsteps. Poetry comes easy for her. Truth comes easily. Writing dramas, using life experiences, comes easier.

She loves assisting authors and writing. She is currently working on novels and children’s stories. When she is not enjoying the great outdoors, that Maine has to offer, you will find her on Facebook. She loves to play games and interact with other authors. She frequently shares photos of the foods she is baking, posts fun photos about the snow storms, and other related things going on in Maine.

She invites you to read her books, leave a review, and connect with her on Facebook.

About This Book:

Anastasia Marie Cassella’s book, ‘Two Sides of a Bi-Polar Survivor’ shares the promiscuousness, manic side of a bi-polar survivor, along with the depressive, suicidal side. Read about the pendulum of happy and sad times. This disorder is as hard to diagnose, as it is to live with. Not everyone with this illness is a survivor. Reading Ana’s story might help you acknowledge your own struggles with Bi-Polar or help you as a friend, or family member appreciate what these survivors endure.

5-Stars: As a survivor of Bi-Polar and DID, my heart goes out to all people who struggle with mental illness in all its many forms. It takes courage to tell your story and the writing can be a form of therapy. I admire the authors will to share and no one should judge her. Review by Editor at Book Marketing Global Network.

Prologue

The purpose of this book is to write from memories although scattered they may be. The purpose of this writing is therapy. Therapists have often said that writing or journaling are wonderful channels for tapping into traumatic events in her life. She chose poetry and has been writing it as far back as 1986 and now presents a true and factual accounting of her life as she recalls it. It is not necessarily in the proper sequence of events but ordered to the best of her memories.

This accounting is in no way to insult any one person(s). These writings are her thoughts and memories, good or bad, about various situations and person(s) and have helped her deal with the issues brought to the surface from thoughts and emotions dealt with during therapy.

During the reading of this book, you will see frank and sometimes shocking truths about the mood swings and promiscuities of a Bi-polar sufferer who is only able to survive by going through the mania and the depression cycles that a Bi-Polar survivor must endure throughout their lives. This is a true and frank depiction of the life of this Bi-Polar survivor. All the names of people involved have been changed to protect their innocence and identities and to also cover Ana’s inabilities to recall their real names.

The two sides of Bi-Polar are mania and depression. Each has their own side effects on the suffering person. This is a debilitating illness that one must fight every day. Adult-onset Bi-polar is not rare by any means.

Please understand that this is a story of a person who is currently what you would call a survivor as she is still alive. During depression a Bi-Polar person may or may not decide to take their life. This is very serious business. Do not get me wrong there were times in the mania that were good to Ana. During mania one would work, keep the house clean, take care of the yard, cook meals, take care of the child(ren) and take care of the pets and other odds and ends of the duties of a housewife or an adult but the mania is explained that a person goes into mania and handles all of these things because they are hiding their true emotions and things that have been locked away for years. This story does tell of some happier times but not many.

It will also tell of the depression of this Bi-Polar survivor and what the outcomes of the bouts of depression were.

WILL I HAVE PEACE?

This is the dream I had many times over. I decided to put it into words as it seemed to have some importance. I have not seen the places described here but they had been very real every time I dreamt it. The dream stopped replaying when I finally put it to paper. Every Bi-polar sufferer wishes to have peace in their lives.

I dream of a river.

A river I have never ridden. It is beautiful and exciting.

Yet it remains hidden.

We ride the boats. We run the rapids. I see hats floating

And still, we continue boating.

The boats are large. Some are sailboats. The river is very large

But cannot handle a barge.

There are very long docks.

Extremely tall they are.

It appears here there are no clocks.

The boats are not sparse.

Where is this place of which I dream?

Is it in my mind for peace?

Maybe it is real?

Am I supposed to find this place?

Will I find this place and have peace?

CHAPTER ONE

Many years ago, a young woman met a young man and fell in love. Isabelle was an uneducated, beautiful woman of the back woods of Maine where outhouses still existed and you were lucky to have a hand pump in your house which was considered running water. The young man in her life was a seafaring man. He was an uneducated fisherman, clam digger or worm digger, whatever was the season. They were uneducated because when your big family called upon you to become head of household or a money maker you left school and helped support the family. There was many a big family back then. If you had less than 10 children you had not been married very long. He, Daniel, was a jack-of- all-trades. If it needed to be done, he could do it. He held many a job while trying to support his children. He was a drinker. As the years went by, he drank himself further and further into the bottle.

This made it extremely difficult for Isabelle to support a family.  When Daniel would come home, if he came home, after working all day and then drinking half the night away Isabelle was fortunate to get half of his day’s wages; if she were so lucky. She would go to the store the next day, which was a mile walk at least if I do say so myself. She would buy what she could for groceries out of the meager part of the wages that she received. Feeding 10 children took a lot of money, even for back then.  She would buy some canned vegetables and she would stash half