I Survived Hell and Landed in Heaven on Earth

By Constance R. Byrd

This is not a book for the faint of heart; it is for those of us who have lost everything and started over like the sunshine rising out of the storm.

This is a memoir that tells it all so that others who experienced trauma at a young age or anyone who has ever experienced abuse will be able to identify and maybe get some freedom to one day tell someone what happened to them. Constance R. Byrd reveals her own experience with overcoming panic attacks, molestation, and drug abuse. She did it all through the grace of God and a twelve-step program that has allowed her to maintain her recovery for over thirty-two years.

Constance R. Byrd was born and raised in North Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. She is the youngest out of thirteen children. Constance worked all her life ever since she was fourteen years old and never stopped unless it was for child-bearing years. She is the mother of four children and the grandmother of eight children. Her education continued with some credits of college, but she continued to work until she retired at the age of sixty-five. Constance loved writing even as a child when she would sit for hours writing the words to songs by various musical artists such as Aretha Franklin and Stephanie Mills so she could learn all the words to the songs. She is eclectic when it comes to music; that is her first love.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Newman Springs Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Nov 8, 2021
• ISBN: 9781636929330

Book preview

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I Survived Hell and Landed in Heaven on Earth

Constance R. Byrd

Copyright © 2021 Constance R. Byrd

All rights reserved

First Edition

NEWMAN SPRINGS PUBLISHING

320 Broad Street

Red Bank, NJ 07701

First originally published by Newman Springs Publishing 2021

ISBN 978-1-63692-932-3 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-63692-933-0 (Digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Isolation

This Is My Story

Heaven or Hell

Beloved Means Loved

You Got to Put the Pedal to the Metal

You Can’t Get into a Clique

How You Gonna Win When You Ain’t Right Within? (Lauryn Hill)

Your Career Is What You Paid for, Your Gift Is What You’re Made For (Steve Harvey)

Depression

Anxiety

Salvation

Diary of a Mad Black Woman (Tyler Perry)

Relationships Can Be Risky

Unjustly Mistreated

Experiencing Rejection

The Gang War Era

Fun Times

I want to dedicate this book to all the women who suffer from low self-esteem, who learned their worth and never ever again will give anyone the power over them no matter how bad things may get. Women who struggle to pay bills or single mothers who have college degrees and are still fighting to pay their rent or mortgage even though they are working hard to feed their children. Also to the women who were molested, abused, and who even once thought about suicide. Do not give up on yourself. There’s a way out; God has a plan for your life. Last but not least, to all the married women who remained faithful, loyal, and kept their integrity even though their husbands were sick with a life-threatening illness. It takes a lot to stay in love and remain lovable in those times. I almost forgot to dedicate this book to all the caregivers who sacrifice their lives to care for those who cannot care for themselves. Someone once said, When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. I dedicate this book to all women because we are the queens of the universe.

Introduction

Istarted writing this book on July 20, 2019. I am writing now because my children are grown and I am retired. Now I have the willingness. My motivations are the struggles, frustrations, and triumphs in my life that seem constant. I want to tell my story now so that other women who are going through some of the same situations will know that there is a way out of their emotions, frustrations, and struggles. There is still joy and happiness while you are in the storm. At first I said, This is my memoir. I did not know anything about how to start writing my autobiography. I asked myself, How can I get the reader to visualize my thoughts that I am trying to convey? I suspect that there are a lot of self-help books out there, and they always give you steps or assignments to motivate you to find yourself. They perpetuate self-love, and I guess my book will follow suit. I want to keep this book on myself; I do not want anyone in my family to think that I am trying to tell their business. Although a mere mention of some of their situations may be in this book, it is totally my story from my perspective as the youngest sibling out of thirteen children. I found out that I am not just a survivor but that I am a thriver.

Acknowledgments

First I give honor to God for paying the price for my sins. I thank him for my savior and Lord, Jesus Christ. I want to thank my mother and father for giving me life and for making me a strong woman of God. I want to acknowledge my four children, David, Keenan, Nikema, and Damien, who gave me strength to keep going even when I did not want to live. I also want to acknowledge my eight grandchildren, Sierra, Nathaniel, Natasha, Rajae, Khardir, Mariah, Jahbari, and Jahniya, who are my heartbeats, and I love them to the moon and back. I also want to thank my BFF, Geraldine Evans, who has been in my life since second grade. Her friendship, loyalty, and unconditional love in my darkest hours as well as good times has carried me through when I really needed her. She has been a godsent angel. Also, I want to thank my mentor, Diane, who has been my confidant and friend. I cannot say enough about her. She has been my go-to rock who has always been there for me through thick and thin. I want to acknowledge my village. There are just too many of them to name them all, but they know who they are and how much I love them heart-to-heart because they know it has been a two-way street. And I thank them for being in my life. Last but not least, I