Careless: Bastards of Grove Hill

By Zepphora

I've been in love with Rian Walsh for as long as I can remember. He has held many titles over the years. He's my brother's best friend. One of the Bastards of Grove Hill—part of the Five Families.

He's also responsible for every single time my heart has been broken.

I'm the good girl of our bunch of miscreants. I get good grades and I do what I'm told.

I only ever buck up to Rian and it's a toxic cycle I crave. I love him and I hate him at the same time. I need the push and pull like a drug, but when the push and pull become one entity, how can I be expected to walk away from the one thing I've always wanted?

Him. It's always been him.

Careless is the second book in the Bastards of Grove Hill series. The series starts with Reckless which follows Finn O'Reilly and Francine Gray.  For a full list of content warnings, please visit the author's website.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Zepphora Books, LLC
• Release date: Jun 27, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223381570

Book preview

PROLOGUE

HER

Tears leave streaks on my dirty face as I stare down at the scarlet lines of blood peeking out from underneath the mud caking my knees. The mud makes the cuts sting, adding to the tears that I’d normally hold back until I’m alone in my room. However, today the kids were super mean and actually pushed me.

They must have not been from around here otherwise they wouldn’t have laid hands on me. I'm the only daughter of the ruthless Nigel O'Reilly, they would've run in fear if they knew that. People are scared of my daddy, but they shouldn't be. My daddy is super sweet. He watches my favorite shows with me and goes to all of my ballet practices. He keeps everyone from laughing at me. But he isn’t with me today.

Sorcha?

The sound of my name has me turning my head. My brother's best friend is thundering toward me.

What happened? he asks with worry evident in his eyes.

I can’t remember a time when Rian wasn’t my brother’s friend. I also can’t remember a time when he cared about what I was doing. The only reason I even see Rian is because he tags along with Finn when he is watching me.

Leave me alone, I cry as I use the pink, scratchy material of my sweater to wipe away the mud from my knees, causing more pain.

Who did this to you? he demands, not taking the hint.

I don't want him here. I don't want anyone to see me like this.

I'm an O'Reilly. I'm supposed to be tough, like my daddy and Finn. I'm not supposed to cry like a baby.

I’m the only girl in my family of all boys, who surround themselves with even more boys. The only time I get to play with a girl is when my babysitter, Mrs. Judy, watches me.You don't care about me.

Only my brother and daddy love me and care about me. Only those two. My mommy doesn’t even love me. She left when I was a baby, so I don’t have any memories of her.

What do you mean? We all care about you, Rian says as he kneels and examines my scraped knees.

You do? I ask in disbelief, tears still flowing down my face.

His dark blue eyes shoot up to gaze at me, and he flashes me a smile.

Rian surprises me again. He always looks so sad. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him smile. I know his mommy has a hard time, so he has to take care of her. That’s all I really know about Rian.

Although I see him often, he and Finn have their group of friends separate from me.

Of course, I do. We all do, kid, he answers as he pulls a water bottle out of his back pocket. He twists off the cap, then pours some on the cuts on my knees. The sting is slight and I watch as the liquid turns pink as it mixes with the dirt.

We’re the same age. Don't call me kid, I pout.

He chuckles and shrugs his shoulders as he wipes away the mud with his bare fingers. "You're my best friend's little sister. I'll always call you kid, kid."

I glower at him. I hate that he always calls me that. I may be a little kid, but so is he and all of his friends. Finn is the big kid in The Families as my daddy calls us.

Now, he pauses to catch my eyes, are you going to tell me what happened, or do I have to beat it out of you? he jokes.

I know he'd never hit me. But if he did, my brother and my daddy would have his hide for it.

Some kids were being mean to me, I shrug like it’s not a big deal. He frowns. They said I'm fat and ugly, then they pushed me down, My tears begin to subside as I recall the event. I hate crying in front of people. I have to be strong, always, like my daddy and my brother.

I’m a little chubbier than the other girls my age, so it makes me a target sometimes when kids are feeling mean.

My daddy says I have an illness, and that's why I'm bigger than the other girls. It's not my fault.

I go to doctors all the time, and Dr. Harper says it would be impossible for me to be small like the girls in my class.

My body doesn't work like theirs.

You're not ugly, kid, and you're not fat. Have you seen my mom? She's fat, he says seriously.

A laugh falls from my lips, which I try to hide, but it ends up coming out in spouts of giggling.

Rian's mommy is a big lady, but she's still very beautiful. She always looks so sad, though, just like Rian.

Your mommy is pretty, I tell him.

Yeah, she is, but so are you. You're not fat. You're... chunky at worst.

Chunky? I stare at him, confused.

That's how my mom describes how big I was as a baby. Chunky. Not fat, but extra meat on the bones.. If some people think you're fat, who cares? Those people don’t matter. If they don't take the time to get to know you before they judge you, they're not worth your time.

Rian's words hit hard. He really means them. Rian thinks I'm pretty just the way I am. He said he cares about me—and it’s not just him, but all of my brother's friends, too.

My heart skips a beat, and it has nothing to do with Tiernan, Colin, or Eoghan. My heart skips a beat because it's Rian telling me this.

This is the moment when I developed my crush on Rian Walsh, my brother's best friend. I didn’t know it as a child, but this is the moment that will alter everything about my life.

The good.

The bad.

The deadly.

CHAPTER

ONE

HER

The oxygen squeezes and stabs around in my lungs, demanding I stop. I give them a mental fuck you and keep pushing myself past what my body wants to give. I refuse to concede. I'm so damn close to getting past my personal best.

It’s in part to the routine I developed. I wake up early, run through our dilapidated neighborhood, take a hot shower then make a healthy breakfast. The only thing that changes is if I go to school, or dance practice before going to the gym.

I've known since I was a little girl that I need to work harder than the other girls. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism at a young age, which means it's difficult to lose weight or keep it off. I will always have to fight this battle but I'm strong. I push past any obstacles and exceed expectations. That's part of being an O'Reilly.

Dad and Finn don't care if I’m overweight but I'd be lying if I said I felt the same way.

I wouldn't call myself fat. My weight is on the edge of what doctors consider overweight. If I lost thirty pounds, I'd be on target.

I want to wear what all the other girls in my school wear, crop tops and short shorts. However I’m too self conscious and I feel like everyone would cringe at my curvy figure.

I can’t eliminate my condition, so I do my best to combat it. It takes effort but I try to make the best out of it.

The slap of my pink running shoe’s soles muffle as I hit my front yard. My racing heart calms a bit as I take a deep breath.

One second higher than my fastest time.

It's something to celebrate. If I keep working hard, I might be able to make the track team in college.

That's if I get a scholarship and get accepted into a university. I'm in the top ten percent of my class, but that’s not saying a lot being from Grove Hill. I’m always flirting with the ever sought after 4.0. If I wasn’t so busy with my running and other activities I’m sure that I’d have straight A’s.

I sent in my application to Rice and the University of Houston a few months ago, but I haven't received a response.

I don't want to be far away from home, so those two universities are my only options besides my local community college.

Regardless of where I go, it will be a big deal for my family as I’ll be the first to attend college. Education hasn’t always been a top priority in my household, I had to force Finn to go back for his high school diploma. Speaking of school, I need to get ready.

I stroll into the house and quickly make my way to the kitchen. The scent of coffee fills my senses shortly after I hit the brew button on the coffee maker. I prepare a grapefruit and plain oatmeal to go along with it, for Dad. For me, I settle on scrambled eggs and a bottle of water.

When they say it's the most important meal of the day, they mean it, and I take that very seriously. I always eat a good amount of protein for breakfast or I am sluggish all day long. I need my energy for school, and getting through the grueling dance practice Coach Hatcher puts us through.

Morning, sweetheart, my dad mutters as he drags himself into the kitchen. He scratches his fingers through his salt and pepper hair then does the same to his matching stubble. Pulling out the chair at our small kitchen table, he takes a seat in front of the plate I prepared for him. Thank you. What are you doing up so early? he asks, like he has no idea what today is.

During the summer, I sleep in on days when I have nothing to do, but I don’t have that luxury during the school year.

It's the first day of school, Dad. Senior year, I explain as I plop down and stab my fork into my eggs.

You don't need to be so hard on yourself, Sor. You can take a day off from your workouts every once in a while. His icy blue eyes meet mine over the rim of his coffee cup. I purse my lips. My dad means well, but he doesn't understand. How could he? He’s physically fit and joins me when I work out more for vanity than health. If he would just stop drinking…

My brother is the same way. Both of them have high metabolisms and work out for the sake of six packs, not to regulate their weight. They don't understand my struggle.

My dad says the doctors think my health issues were caused by my mom's drug problems when she was pregnant with me—she couldn't stay clean. It's possible, but I won't dwell on the cause. I like to focus on the solution.

This is an issue that I will have to deal with for the rest of my life and I fear the day when I’m no longer able to keep up with my regime. I don't want to become disabled due to my weight when I get older .

We need a new microwave. I veer the subject in a different direction, eyeing the worthless box.

I'll fix the turntable after breakfast, he comments and follows my gaze to the counter.

That's his motto for almost everything.

I'll fix it.

He only buys replacements as a last resort.

I fork more eggs into my mouth to keep from saying anything. I know it will get me a lecture. He must see the irritation on my face because the lecture comes, nonetheless.

"The easiest way isn’t always the best. We have more than we need, Sorcha. Our fridge is always full. We have running water, air conditioning, and a roof over our heads. We buy everything we need and nothing more. If more people in this fucked-up world lived the way we do, it would be a much better place. I give whatever money I have left over at the end of the month to those who need it more than us. We all make sacrifices for the greater good, and that's the way it's supposed to be. You work as hard as you can, and help those less fortunate." The points he makes are valid, but after getting this lecture numerous times over the years, I tune him out.

I've offered in the past to pay for stuff like this, but he refuses to accept the help.

I got the reminder for your appointment this afternoon with Dr. Garza. You'll need to go there right after practice, he says before taking a bite of his oatmeal.

I shovel the last of my eggs into my mouth. Thanks, Dad. I need to take a shower, I say with the least amount of spittle as possible. After rinsing and putting my plate in the dishwasher, I grab my water bottle and pause in the doorway to glance back at my dad. He’s already busy on his phone, probably looking up how to fix our shitbox of a microwave. It makes me smile, how he’s always looking out for everyone but himself. Sure I get annoyed with him every now and then but I wouldn’t change anything about him.

Hey, girl, hey! Kia cheers as she practically knocks me over when she suddenly appears beside my locker.

Kia has been my best friend since she moved to Grove Hill two years ago. She knows everything about me, including details about who my family is. She's even been to my house a few times, but still hasn't met my dad.

Morning, I say with a genuine smile.

Sor, your brother is smoking hot, Kia says as she fans herself and slumps against the lockers.

It takes everything in me not to gag at her words.

Kia! He's my brother!

Even better! If I marry him, we would be sisters! Besides, you’re used to skanks throwing themselves at him like he’s Casanova reincarnate. Face the facts, Sor. Everyone wants to fuck your brother, she sasses.

Are you calling yourself a skank? I tease right back. Sorry to break it to you, but he seems to be smitten with another.

Kia stares at me, confused. What do you mean? I never see him with the same girl twice.

I have no clue how everyone is so oblivious, or maybe I pay close attention to my brother.

Look! I insist.

Finn sits with Rian and Colin as they laugh and talk quietly. A pretty girl is perched on his lap trying to get his attention.

Who? Blonde McTitties over there? Kia scoffs.

No. Watch. A moment later, Francine Gray turns down the hall by herself, a part of her routine through all four years of school, holding her books in her arms, blonde curls falling down her shoulders.

As if Francine was blowing a dog whistle only Finn could hear, he senses her presence. Instantly, his gaze turns from Colin and narrows in on his prey. She juggles with her belongings as she slips her yellow, light weight sweater off her shoulders to put in her locker. My brother stares at her, a look of contemplation etched across his face.

Oh my god! Francine Gray? Isn't she dating the quarterback, whatshisname?

Duncan Malloy. Duncan is a nice guy, but I never see any chemistry between them. Well, at least not on Francine’s part. I elbow her in the stomach. Watch this and tell me if Duncan is the one that has her heart.

Watch what? She scowls at me while exaggeratedly rubbing the spot where I viciously attacked her.

This! I hiss and nod toward Fran. She has visibly stiffened as if she senses eyes on her. She turns and faces my brother, but he has already averted his eyes. She stares at him for a long moment with more emotion than I have seen her give Duncan in the previous years, combined.

Does she know how much he watches her or is she completely oblivious? He has been doing it so often that she’d have to be blind not to see it.

She blinks several times as if to clear her thoughts before she closes her locker and walks away.

Holy shit. What the hell is going on there? Kia asks.

No clue. Anytime I ran into Francine this summer, for some reason, my brother was not far behind. That can't be a coincidence. I'm inclined to think those two are having a little love affair. It's the only thing that makes sense, I explain.

She laughs. Unless he's stalking her, she jokes.

Finn isn't a stalker. He doesn’t need to stalk, I laugh at the idea.

Come to think of it, I think I’ve seen that look before, Kia retorts, a sly smile stretches across her face.

Slightly distracted, I ask, You’ve seen Finn staring at someone else?

Nooooo. She laughs, I’ve seen that look on Rian.

Completely grabbing my attention, I need clarification. What? You’ve seen Rian looking at Francine?

Her laugh gets louder and she returns the elbow nudge to my gut.

Rian looks at you the same way Finn looks at Francine. He’s doing it right now, she tells me. She has to be teasing. When I say Kia knows everything, I literally mean everything, including my highly unrealistic crush on my brother's best friend. It’s a pointless crush though. Not only would Rian not date his best friend's sister, he's emotionally unavailable as well as self-destructive. He finds something that makes him happy, enjoys the high for a while, then hates himself for being happy.

It's never-ending.

He wasn't always like this. He used to show his heart to the people close to him, but not since his mom killed herself. That muscle is locked down tight and nobody can reach it.

I've known Rian my whole life, and I want nothing more than to reach the little boy hidden deep inside him, but Rian won't let him out. That breaks my heart. He's stuck on pause, and I fear he’ll always be.

Regardless of thinking Kia’s wrong, my heart hammers. I know better than to hope Rian is staring at me. He’ll have a warm body in his bed tonight and I won’t even be a distant thought.

Rian has never hinted that he wants me, and I'm not going to embarrass myself again.

Rian is unattainable, not to mention my brother would kill him if he touched me. It's a miracle that I'm not still a virgin.

Finn probably thinks I'm untouched, and I'd like to keep it that way. There’s only one guy that has shown interest in me, and he wasn’t from this school.

Jason freaking Woods.

He’s the star athlete at Carson, our rival school. Football, wrestling, baseball, soccer, Jason’s a real jack of all trades.

And I gave him my virginity.

I'd be the enemy of Grove Hill High if anyone knew about that. We were only together once, one year ago and I still get random Facebook messages from him, trying to see if I want to hook up again.

I can't say for sure if Jason was good in bed or maybe mediocre, but when you’ve only been with one person, it’s hard to judge. It was painful, but I had something to prove to myself. I needed to be able to say that my feelings for Rian didn't completely ruin me for anyone else.

I liked Jason. He's funny, charismatic, and... safe. However, anyone compared to Rian is safe. If Jason has a body count, it’s in regards to the amount of girls he’s slept with, not with the amount of people he has killed.

I don’t know much about Jason Woods but I know he’s smart, kind and respectful. I’m fairly certain that he would want a relationship with me that goes beyond sex. He seems like a great guy. Unfortunately I don’t have romantic feelings for him.

Really? Let him look, I respond after a long pause.

It's not like Rian Walsh is watching me because he finds me attractive.

And that knowledge always breaks my heart, so I have stopped being a hopeless romantic when it comes to Rian Walsh.

CHAPTER

TWO

HIM

M an, come on. Chelsea Downs is throwing one of her wild parties this Saturday. I can't go without you.

Tiernan expects me to be his wingman when it comes to chasing pussy. I'm sure Eoghan or Finn would be way better, but for some reason, Tiernan favors my company over the others.

Too bad he’s on the phone and can’t see the classic eye roll playing on my face. My shoulder holds my phone to my ear as I tap my fingers on the steering wheel of my Charger.

Ask me again on Saturday. I might be in a partying mood then, I grumble as my eyes stay focused on the forest green door of the O'Reilly home, waiting to see if she emerges.

Of course she will. Sorcha never takes a day off from her workout routine, not even when she's sick or on her period.

And, yes, I pay such close attention that I know when that is. I get this information not by merely watching her pull a tampon from her bag before going into the bathroom. No. I pay attention to the subtle inclinations. The discomfort, her pulling that bottle of Advil out of her bag every four hours, and how she closes her eyes and rubs her stomach when a cramp comes on. Regardless of her cycle, she is truly dedicated to her workouts and her resilience is something to admire.

Please tell me you're not looking at that green door, Ri, Tiernan groans through the phone.

He's not an idiot. He knows exactly what I'm doing. Luckily, he’s the only one.

He laughs. You're obsessive as fuck, man. I don’t fight him on it because he’s not