Pholela Institution This Is Us: Then and Now

By Thelma Bathobile Ngcobo Tembe

Pholela Institution. This is us: Then and Now relays the story of a group of teenagers who spent most of those years separated from their parents for the first time in their lives. It considers how they survived their experiences including bullying. In exploring this dark secret that faces too many young children and teenagers, Thelma Tembe compares it with the bullying still prevalent in too many schools, particularly boarding establishments, today.

 

However, Tembe has approached these stories with a relaxed tone, not striving for academia or formality even though the book tackles school issues. She wants anyone who attended boarding school to relate to their experiences – the good with the bad. Pholela Institution. This is us: Then and Now remains a reader-friendly glimpse into boarding school life to which even those who never experienced it can relate. In talking to  teenagers in their language, she calls a spade a spade.

 

However, this book also challenges parents to talk to their children; teach and direct them and not expect teachers to fulfil that role. It looks at the respect and character of school-children of the era and highlights Pholela Institution for its excellence. South Africa was desperately short on schools providing quality teachers, education and top results for black children and Pholela Institution effectively catered for anyone across the country with an intense desire to learn.

 

Pholela Institution. This is us: Then and Now does not end with matriculation, thus reflecting on the potential for people with whom you bonded during those impressionable years to remain life-long friends. People you met when everyone was young, healthy and beautiful can still stand beside you when old age comes calling.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Thelma Bathobile Ngcobo Tembe
• Release date: May 19, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223591405

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Copyright © 2023 Thelma Bathobile Ngcobo Tembe

Published by Thelma Bathobile Ngcobo Tembe at Smashwords

First edition 2023

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or any information storage or retrieval system without permission from the copyright holder.

The Author has made every effort to trace and acknowledge sources/resources/individuals. In the event that any images/information have been incorrectly attributed or credited, the Author will be pleased to rectify these omissions at the earliest opportunity.

Published by Thelma Bathobile Ngcobo Tembe using Reach Publishers’ services,

P O Box 1384, Wandsbeck, South Africa, 3631

Edited by Lorna King for Reach Publishers

Cover designed by Reach Publishers

Website: www.reachpublishers.org

E-mail: [e-mail]

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Thelma Bathobile Ngcobo Tembe

[e-mail]

Then

Now

Preface

I have tried to ensure that you, the reader, are immersed in the adventures, experiences, joys, fears and frustrations as you journey throughout this book.

Condolences to all the staff and students of Pholela Institution who have departed this world – may their souls rest in peace.

Gratitude is extended to our principal, vice-principal, pastor, teachers, students, admin staff and helpers from back in the day, as well as to all the staff who, up until today, have touched the lives of Pholela Institution students and helped them improve their education.

A special thank you to our leaders (amaqoqo), and the Amahwaqa WhatsApp group 2020-2021 members who made it possible for this book to take shape.

I – Thelma Bathobile Ngcobo-Tembe (Ma Ngcobo) – a former student at Pholela Institution, matriculated in 1974. I am the second-born daughter of the late Rodgers Archibald Zimele Ngcobo and Winifred Bajabulile Ngcobo (nickname Nto) of Inanda Mission, KwaZulu-Natal (KZN), South Africa.

My older and late sister, Eugenia Lungile Renolda, also went to Pholela where she completed her senior education. My late brother, Boysie, as he was known by everyone, also went to Pholela for his high school education. His real names were Ivon Rodney Zithulele Ngcobo. My other siblings – Nonhlanhla, Petronella, Mduduzi, late brother Thulani, Sifiso and Jackie – attended other high schools.

At the time of writing this book, I am married to Wilfred Hlengiwe Tembe, and have three daughters, Marcia Sinenhlanhla, Mbalenhle Pearl and Asanda Wendy, as well as two sons-in-law, Nkanyiso Mncwabe and Siphephelo Kweyama. Loved by her three grandchildren, Khwezi, Lisakhanya and Anathi.

After matriculation I went to Ongoye University in KwaZulu-Natal but left during the uprising of 1976. I graduated with a diploma in General Nursing and Midwifery from Edendale Hospital. Later, I graduated from UNISA with a B. Cur. Degree in Nursing Science (Nursing Administration and Education), followed by a postgraduate certificate in HIV/AIDS from the Nelson R. Mandela School of Medicine. Lastly, I completed a Diploma in Community Nursing from ML Sultan, now Durban University of Technology.

Today, I have retired from the profession as a registered nurse – a monitoring and evaluation manager in charge of quality assurance management, infection prevention and control management, and data management at King Edward VIII Hospital in Durban, KZN – and am content with life as I mature gracefully at home.

At school I enjoyed acting in stage plays, Girl Guides, tennis and tennikoit, and as an adult my hobbies included dancing, sewing and flower arranging. I now enjoy morning gym, listening to music, reading, writing, watching movies, and gardening, and would like to travel more, and breed chickens and livestock. I enjoy both my suburban and farmhouses equally, and now manage my private businesses, as well as being a director in some of the family businesses.

Thelma Bathobile Ngcobo when she was still a student at Pholela Institution in the mid-70s.

Foreword

Writing a book is hard, even for professional authors. In my view, Thelma Bathobile Ngcobo-Tembe dug deep to find the courage to start – and finish – this, her first book-writing project which she decided to pursue in her retirement.

I am privileged to have observed her passionate dedication to this amazing project, and it was one of my proudest moments to be invited by her to contribute towards this amazing work. Having hesitantly accepted the challenge, it did transpire to me that the invitation to contribute was not just because of my relationship with her, but because of how I related to the dream.

My family homestead is in Bulwer in KwaZulu-Natal, and I recall stories my late mother and best friend would share about Pholela. It was not regarded as a school, but, in their eyes, a world-class South African institution which happened to be just down the road from home. It was generally perceived, by most locals, to be beyond reach, because it was always a school which generally took in learners from across the country.

Besides being amazed at the impressive volume of content contained in this book, I was particularly impressed by several qualities – in particular, the striking standard of storytelling. The book further offers remarkable glimpses of motherhood. As a reader you will, as I did, glaringly see the conflicts between storytelling and wisdom sharing – two threads which have been passionately woven into this piece of work.

While this story portrays a high quality of learning and grooming that took place during those years, it also narrates how those teachings have become a fabric of current society. It goes without saying that a great number of former students of Pholela Institution have gone on to occupy senior roles in industry and politics.

This book does however serve a greater purpose. As the author’s proud eldest son-in-law, I did reach a relatable conclusion. This book teaches all of us, as it has taught me, that passion is all it takes.

I invite you, the reader, to dive in and relive the narrated experiences of this much-loved author and mother, as she takes us through her glorious years of life. You can rest assured that this extraordinary story is relatable to the journeys of many. Enjoy!

Nkanyiso Mncwabe

October 2022

Introduction

This book is about a teenager living far from her parents, community or familiar family and friends. This teenager has to survive peer group pressure, and new surroundings – a scenario which happens even today when high school teenagers leave the comfort of their homes and stay in rented accommodation with strangers – all in the name of getting an education. We look at some of the things they experience, which parents might not even be aware of.

While we share how school boarders survived, it’s not hard to imagine what happens when children have to walk long distances to school, sometimes through dangerous places.

The book grows with some of these school children – discovering them when they are adults and senior citizens, who tell their stories in the hope of making others learn from them. It also tries to shed some light on what to expect when this child matures.

Agreed, education is the best gift any parent can give a child. Once one grabs it with both hands it will never leave the owner until death. All that is needed is for the owner to do something with what has been achieved. This book motivates parents to encourage their children to go to school; at the same time, it challenges parents to talk to their children about what to expect in life, and demands the parents tell their children the truth. Only the truth will make the child concentrate in the classroom without looking for answers to hidden stories. For parents, it opens our eyes to the fact that the teenage years are the most important years of their life. As parents, we should be close to our children, be their friends. In this way they will feel comfortable opening up to us about any given topic.

I write this book during a time when the entire world is experiencing a pandemic – Coronavirus (Covid-19) – and the schools and offices have been closed down. Parents are staying at home with their children and are forced to learn all about home schooling. The majority of homes are tense, this is not normal, and this unexpected and unplanned situation poses a test to parents as their children are with them 24/7 and not with their teachers, while parents are also trying to work from home because of the lockdown.

Pholela Institution is situated in the deep rural area of Bulwer Village, surrounded by thick forests and mountains. Heavy snow sometimes falls in winter, and the extreme cold can be unbearable. Back in the day children would come from all walks of life and from most provinces in South Africa to seek education at Pholela. Today it is a day school, but still has students who stay in rented accommodation away from their parents.

Back then, these teenagers had no parents or family, no cellphone, television, swimming pool, computers, laptops or pocket money. They were school boarders, who lived in and stayed at the school except for during the school holidays. They were stuck to each other like bread and butter. They were married to each other through books, sports, extramural activities, and religious practices. Pholela Institution was their home for their high school years, and when they arrived for their first year, most of them were very young and naïve, fresh from primary school.

During my time there, I never witnessed any complaints about limited resources. Everyone was content with what they had. Anyone who has past their teen years, and even those who are still to be teens, will appreciate the approach taken to address this stage of life, whether they are boarders or not.

Chapter 1

Our Journey to the Middle of Nowhere

Khushu … Khushu, pe! Tswi! As the unforgettable noise of the buzzing trains echoed all around, a group of unfamiliar faces turned this way and that, as if not sure which direction to go in. As they started stepping forward, with mixed feelings of excitement and uncertainty written on their faces, I was reminded of my primary school days, running to the lines as the first bell was ringing.

I stood still as though glued to the spot on the train platform. My protected world was crashing down around me. I guess that feeling was all too familiar to other students who had found themselves in the same situation as mine – alone and miserable, exposed to an unknown world.

Questions filled my head. Why did my dad get involved in a car accident at a time in my life when I needed him the most? Why was I there? Where was I? Why were they all moving in different directions but going to the same train? And why were they carrying their provision baskets just like mine? I realised I had never been on a train before, except the one I had taken from Durban to get to Pietermaritzburg – where I now found myself, all alone. I looked around, trembling and scared. Mom, where are you now? My eyes filled with tears. I had never been on my own in my entire life.

Suddenly, someone touched my shoulder from behind. "Never talk to strangers," I heard my mother’s imaginary sweet voice whisper in my ears, followed by a small prayer.

With tears running down my cheeks I forced myself to turn around. My heart was beating fast, knees were giving way. He shouted my name in a panicked tone. I recognised the voice but was still scared. It was my homeboy, my homezer, as we used to call each other those many years ago.

My face suddenly lit up. He pulled me by my arm and ran with me towards a man holding a flag. I grabbed my provision basket and we climbed aboard seconds before the train started moving off. Narrow escape – but we were inside.

He left me with a stranger who was familiar to him, as he rushed off to see his friends. This stranger later became my dictionary, or rather, my encyclopaedia. I was still to discover that we shared an English name. I started asking her many questions, and patiently she answered them with passion. My guardian had sent an angel.

As I write this book, I may be retired, but I am still strong and full of energy, and hope that the characters portrayed in this book are just like me. I sometimes wonder if the beautiful young woman with a sweet but polite voice who answered my questions is still alive? Had Mother Earth treated her with the love she deserved, the love she gave an unknown newcomer, on that adventurous, yet scary day.

As we pulled out of the station, I asked my new acquaintance about the town we were leaving behind and she told me it was Pietermaritzburg. Without introducing myself I continued, telling her that I was going to Pholela Institution and asked where she was going. She was also going to Pholela Institution. Now a bit more relaxed but still failing to show it, I had lots of questions to ask, but before I could open my mouth, she smiled and wanted to know more about me. I told her my name and she told me hers, and that’s when we discovered we shared the same name, and both came from Durban. She was from KwaMashu and I was from Inanda Mission. In the early 70s both of these places were true rural areas, not far from each other, and surrounded by sugar plantations on the outskirts of Durban in KwaZulu-Natal.

The stranger told me to relax because we were going together to Bulwer Station, however my stomach continued to make nervous sounds as it had done before when I heard the name Bulwer. I could not contain myself any longer. I had to find out why the girl had told me we were both going to Pholela Institution, when she was actually going to Bulwer.

As I turned towards her with an angry face, I noticed for the first time that the stranger was beautiful. She had a welcoming smile, smooth skin, twinkling eyes, and a sweet and polite voice. The stranger looked at me as if she was seeing me for the first time too. She told me I was beautiful and had a lovely skin and said never to use any cream on that beautiful face of mine. As if I knew what she was talking about; I had no clue what cream was at that time, all I knew was Vaseline. Politely I thanked her, but in my thoughts, I wanted her to stop talking about faces. In fact, I thought to myself, We should be talking about Pholela Institution my beautiful, strange lady.

The girl could read my face like a book and explained that one train was from Durban, another train was from Johannesburg, and in Pietermaritzburg we had joined other students from all over South Africa. She then suggested I relax, which I tried to do, just to make her happy and gain

Reviews for Pholela Institution This Is Us

[Nkanyiso Mncwabe · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

The author delivers such an honest assessment of schooling in South Africa, told from real life experiences. A brilliant capture of how day to day school experiences have mounded the character of this country's society. Definately enjoyed this book.