What's So Funny About That?

By Linda Davis

With everything that Linda went through, she would constantly have a funny joke to lessen the pain of the situation. During her fight with cancer and writing her book, she just had to make a funny title. While she was reflecting on her life, the question just popped in her head, What's so funny about that? And it just clicked. "That's the title!"

You've just got to love her! LOL.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: May 1, 2023
• ISBN: 9798887933412

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What's So Funny About That?

Linda Davis

Copyright © 2023 Linda Davis

All rights reserved

First Edition

PAGE PUBLISHING

Conneaut Lake, PA

First originally published by Page Publishing 2023

ISBN 979-8-88793-339-9 (pbk)

ISBN 979-8-88793-341-2 (digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Her Dedication

Preface

Introduction

Memoirs of a Retired Housewife

(If I Had Known Then)

Husbands

Childbirth

Tasks

Finding My New Normal

The Deep End of the Pool

Electronics

Cell Phones

Learning to Do Man Stuff

Growing Old Gracefully? I Don't Think So!

My Medications

Stick Out Your Tongue and Say Ouch!

Exercise

The Dating Game

Living Quarters

The Hotel

The Cuckoo's Nest

Menopause: Nature's Impractical Joke

The End So Far

What Do You Want?

One Dark Night!

Somebody Watches Over Me!

Another Unbelievable Event!

Saving Me from a Tragedy!

Big Brother

The Visit

The Angelic Interlude

Good Answer!

A Rude Awakening

Angels Don't Slide on Ice

You Can't Have My Brother!

Sister Angel

Silver-Lined Dark Cloud

My First Encounter

About the Author

Her Dedication

To all those people who used, abused, and mistreated me (you know who you are!), thanks! Without you, I wouldn't be who and where I am today.

Oh, and one more thing: na na na na na na!

Preface

This book was written by Linda Davis but transcribed by her oldest daughter because of Linda's untimely passing. Her children and grandchildren, Shelli, Vicki, Rozz, Jacki, Cheyenne, Mikail, Lucius, and Midori—all will forever have big holes left in their life and hearts where this wonderful woman should be.

Enjoy her wise and hysterically funny stories as we did for many years, whether we liked it or not. LOL.

Introduction

God wired me to see things a little differently than most people. Humor is His gift to me to get me through this life and to help others get through it too. It has helped me deal with some things that could have messed me up pretty bad. Sometimes it's been the only thing that I had to hang onto to keep me from going under. As I've learned to apply it, I've gotten to the point where I can usually laugh in the face of most of things that were sent to destroy me. Although I will admit that sometimes, the laughter is accompanied by sticking my tongue out at it as well.

It is my intention with this book to help you learn to do the same. Oh, it will take practice and a lot of patience with yourself. It doesn't come quick and easy. But as you work your way though some things and get a few victories and come out laughing in the end, you will begin to get a different perspective going in and it will get easier. What's really fun is when you've gotten it down pretty good, you can catch yourself getting a knowing smirk on your face right in the middle of the hardest part of the situation. And that just drives Satan out of his mind!

When I was young, we called that turnabout is fair play.

So grab my hand. I've been here before. I'll show you the way. Who knows, you may just have some fun!

Hang on! Here we go!

Memoirs of a Retired Housewife

(If I Had Known Then)

First, let me say it was a forced retirement, but let's go back.

In the beginning, oh, wait, that's already been used. So let's start with I was raised by my grandparents. I called them Mama and Poppy. They're gone now, but they left me a wealth of wisdom. Poppy was a man among men, not only because he was my Poppy, which I'm sure enlarged it all, but he had a way about him that I don't see in too many men these days. First of all, he wasn't my biological grandfather. When he met my grandmother, she was a widow with seven children. He just rode into their lives, scooped them up, and took care of them as if they had always been his.

And there was the way he took care of things in his own style. Like when he got a toothache, he didn't see any reason to spend hard-earned money on a dentist, when a fifth of whiskey and pair of pliers would do the trick. I always watched him do it, at least up until he actually pulled it. Then I would close my eyes and listen. He would drink enough whiskey to dull the pain, then at just the right moment, he would pick up the pliers, and with only a slight moan, the deed was done. It was gross, but it was magic to me.

Then there were Fridays. Every Friday, he would look at Mama (he always called her hun) and say, Hun, you got a dime or two for me? And Mama would reach in the top of her dress where she kept a hankie tied to her slip strap, untie and open it up, pull out a dime or two, and hand them to Poppy. Then he would leave for a few hours and come back with three or four sacks of groceries and a wad of money in his pocket. Magic! Jack and the Beanstalk couldn't hold a candle to him. It wasn't until years later that I discovered his magic—poker! And he was evidently good at it.

He never missed a day of work until he got sick and they amputated his leg. They never told me what it was, but as soon as he got a prosthetic leg, he was right back to work. He worked until the day he died. He came home early that day and just laid down in bed and went to sleep. He died like he had lived—quiet and strong. He was never considered to be a big man in this world, but I thought he was the biggest, tallest, bravest, most manly man of all! I still do.

Now Mama was quiet, wise, and funny all at the same time. I was never sure if she was trying to be funny or if I just saw her that way. Later in life, I began to believe that she was just winking at the world.

Mama had some sayings that while I was growing up, seemed unnecessary or just plain crazy. I almost got my eyes permanently stuck to the top of my skull from rolling them at her sayings. But as I got older, her words took on meaning and I began to understand just how wise and funny she really was. I found myself recalling some of them at various opportune times. Let me share some with you.

With all the drugs, crime, vandalism, and downright evil that there is these days, it has parents, the educational system, law enforcement, and even the church (to some degree) baffled. Well, they should take some lessons from Mama. When any of her grandkids that she was babysitting started acting up, getting into trouble, and making a mess, Mama would just walk into the room, put both hands on her hips, and say, Well, it looks like someone's bored. I got just the cure for that. She proceeded to list a few things that needed done around the house. She would ask for volunteers. If no one applied, she would just assign activities, such as sweeping, polishing furniture, doing dishes, watering plants and flowers, etc. If any of the previously bored children finished their fun and still had some feistiness in them, Mama would find some other fun things to do like washing windows, mowing the lawn, washing all her little knickknacks (and she had a lot!), sweeping the porch and sidewalk—not just in the yard but down the street a block in both directions—or shoveling the snow to the same extent. And there was always laundry. And I'm talking in the early 1960s when laundry took three days: one for washing, one for drying (on a clothesline in the backyard), and one for ironing. By the time she got through making sure the kids all had enough fun, they no longer had the energy, stamina, or desire to do any vandalizing, meanness, or crime. And they didn't need any drugs because they were so exhausted. They were either hallucinating from extreme fatigue or just passed out on the floor.

Yeah, I think that we could use a few more Mamas today. I'll venture to say we wouldn't have as much crime, and the houses, yards, and sidewalks would sure look nice.

(Shelli: I found a letter to her mother, so I wanted to share it with you because I thought that it was sweet. I miss you, Mom.)

The best I can remember, my first memory with you is sitting in the floor at your feet and you were sitting in a chair playing your guitar. You asked me if I wanted to learn a song with you. I was excited! I think that's the first time we bonded. Anyway, the song was called Linda. It made me feel so special that you picked a song with my name. It kind of made me feel like you were telling me you loved me. I don't know if you ever knew how much that time meant to me.

One time, when Charlie and I lived on Augsburger Avenue, you came and spent a weekend. We had such fun! You talked about a movie that was coming on