How to Help Yourself or a Loved One Who Has Bipolar Disorder

By Blanche Belljar

This is a self-help book that I wrote for those who have bipolar disorder (as I do) and those who have a friend, spouse, or other significant other who is bipolar. It is written for both the patient and the caregiver.

I'm not a mental health professional but I've learned a lot in the 38 years since I was first diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I also have 3 people in my immediate family who had bipolar disorder. So, I've been there on both sides and have a unique perspective and enough first-hand experience to be an "expert", whether I want to or not.

I know what a rollercoaster ride it can be. This book is the sometimes funny/sometimes heartbreaking story of my family's battle with bipolar disorder; and, more importantly, it's a self-help book I've written that shares tips, survival skills, and coping mechanisms I've learned, sometimes the hard way, over the years.

I sincerely hope this book will help you and your loved ones cope with the symptoms of bipolar disorder and you will be able to not only survive but thrive.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Blanche Belljar
• Release date: Apr 12, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215772010

Blanche Belljar

For years, my family and friends have urged me to write books about my experiences with having bipolar disorder. "Maybe you can help other people who are going through the same thing," they suggested. I was first diagnosed with this disorder in 1985, so it is like "an old friend" to me. I had put off writing about it for many reasons: it was too depressing; too weird; too embarrassing; and too strangely humorous. I finally started writing about it after my brother died. One of the most helpful coping mechanisms my brother had ever taught me was to try to see the humor in some of the distressing things that have happened to us in our family. Ultimately, my books are about hope: you will get better after you are first diagnosed with bipolar disorder. My books are also about accepting your illness and how to cope with it; not just for yourself, but also if you have a loved one who is having a bad manic episode and you are trying to help them without going crazy yourself.

Book preview

Chapter One: Suicide Prevention

I’m going start right off the bat with the worst-case scenario, suicide and suicide prevention, because this is literally a matter of life and death for people who have bipolar disorder and those caring for them.

People who are bipolar have an increased risk of attempting or completing suicide than the general population.

Studies have shown that 20-60% of those who have bipolar disorder will attempt suicide at least once in their lifetimes. Up to 20% of people who have bipolar disorder die from their suicide attempts.

These are sobering and heart-breaking statistics.

Two members in my immediate family attempted suicide (my mother and my brother) and two of my favorite cousins killed themselves.

What to expect after someone you care for tries to commit suicide. Here is my experience:

I attempted suicide 38 years ago when I was only 30. I took whole bottles of chloral hydrate (for insomnia), imipramine (for depression), and anti-anxiety medication that I can’t recall the name of. My husband found out what I did and called 911. He saved my life. Later one of the doctors told me that I took a potentially fatal dose of medication and would have died without immediate intervention.

I was at home by myself (my husband was at work) and within about 10 minutes or so after my husband called 911, a policeman came to my house. He saw the empty bottles of medication I took and called an ambulance. I briefly remember an ambulance and a firetruck in front of my house. I remember him or the ambulance driver on the phone telling someone in the hospital that it was a Code Blue emergency. It was a surreal experience. Not to mention a waking nightmare.

The ambulance driver drove me to the emergency room with the siren blaring. Once inside the hospital, nurses immediately pumped my stomach (which was very uncomfortable) and the nurses kept saying to me, Try not to gag, as it was happening. They cut the straps of my bra and the necklace I was wearing. Throughout all this I was awake and would stay awake for the next three days, even after I’d taken my medication—that’s how severe my insomnia was.

The nurses gave me charcoal to absorb the medication and it tasted awful and was difficult to swallow. It made my teeth temporarily black. I was handcuffed to a hospital bed for two days because I was such a suicide risk. On the third day, I was taken in an ambulance to a psychiatric hospital that I chose, where I spent two weeks. Initially, I was put on a 5150, which is a psychiatric hold that prevented me from leaving the hospital. I talked my psychiatrist into releasing me from the 5150 and he complied after I gave him my assurance that I wouldn’t attempt to leave the hospital. I was in the closed unit of the hospital for a week and in the open unit for another week.

Now comes the most important instructions for caregivers who are dealing with someone who wants to kill themselves.

If the bipolar person is in imminent danger of harming themselves call 911.

If you are with them in their home, hide their medication and take over administering their medication for them.

Remove weapons from the house and anything else that might harm them (or you).

Call their mental health professional (psychiatrist, therapist, doctor, or nurse) and tell them what’s happening. Try to get the person suffering from suicidal ideation to make the call themselves. I mention this because in my experience, and I imagine in other bipolar sufferers’ experiences, we can get a bit paranoid if our caregivers make the call. We may feel as if we’ve lost control and may get panicky if we feel as if people are ganging up on us or "trying to put us away for