God, Are You Listening?

By Debra Goldsmith

If you have experienced difficulty, sickness, pain and the unknown, this book is the key to unlock hope and understanding on how God works through our troubles. - Rev. Brandon D. Watkiss, Lead Pastor / Englewood Church-Independence, MO

Unfortunately, we have to go through struggles in life. Just because we are Christians doesn't m

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Jun 26, 2023
• ISBN: 9798887389011

Debra Goldsmith

One of my passions in life was teaching; I started out teaching Sunday school, then my husband and I became children's pastors while our children were still young. Once they were in high school, I got my degree in elementary education. Twenty years later, I began a women and seniors ministry at church, where I am still active today. Satan constantly puts obstacles in front of us, but we are more than conquerors through Jesus Christ.

Book preview

Acknowledgments

I want to give special thanks to my husband, Ralph. Through every struggle I’ve had, he was always by my side. He took me to the doctor appointments and helped me get through my surgeries. When I needed medicine, he would get it for me. He would sit with me at the hospital, which we all know is a little boring to just sit there, especially in hospital chairs. Those chairs should get a blue ribbon for the most uncomfortable chairs ever made. I can’t count how many meals he brought me on a tray as I sat on the sofa, too tired or in too much pain to come to the table. He was my support. Ralph would pick me up when I was down. There were times when I wanted to give up. I was so tired of surgeries and illnesses. He always reminded me that God was in charge and He hadn’t forsaken me. God loved me, and He would help me get through it. Ralph gave me encouragement to go on, to keep trying to make it to the end of the race. I couldn’t have made it to where I am today without him. With his support, encouragement, and love, I would make it. I would be okay.

Preface

I am a retired elementary teacher. As a young woman, I thought I would write children’s books. I wrote a few ideas down about things I could put in my books. However, that was as far as it went. Then I thought I would write a book about the crazy things that kids say and do. Believe me, I had enough things to write about to create a large book. I have so many memories of things my students and other teacher’s students said or did that were hysterical. I still laugh today when I think of some of them. Well, that is as far as I got with that. The problem was that it wasn’t coming from my heart—I just thought that was something I could do. Writing books slowly slipped into the memories of my mind.

I never thought of myself as an author. As you can see, I only had thoughts and ideas about writing books, but that never went anywhere. I decided that was not what God had for me to do. God had other plans for me. After I retired from teaching, God showed me those plans.

Our church hired a new pastor. Our pastor’s wife, Jeanne Reed, was amazing. She had a heart for the women of our church. She soon learned that our church didn’t have a women’s ministry. So she immediately got busy and created this ministry. I got involved with this group. I helped her on many of our ladies’ activities. Though Jeanne and I didn’t realize it at that time, she was mentoring me to take over this ministry. I loved this ministry and loved working with the ladies. I learned so much working with Jeanne. I even thought that someday, I could head up this group because of what I learned from her. After five years, our pastor gave us sad news. They were leaving our church as our pastors. God had called them to another ministry. I loved our pastors and hated to see them leave, but I understood that you go where God calls you. It soon hit me! The women’s ministry! What would become of it? It can’t end. It’s such an important ministry in the church. Right before it was time for the pastor and Jeanne to leave, our church had a wedding. It was the wedding of a sweet young couple from our church.

At the reception, I sat by Jeanne. She looked at me and said, I would like you to take over the women’s ministry. Me? I asked. She said, Yes, I know you can do it, and I’ve seen your love for the ladies. I just sat there for just a minute thinking. Then I told her that I would love to. I do love the ladies, and I love this ministry. That was the start of a new beginning. Teaching was over, and a new ministry was about to begin.

The thought of me writing a book was over. It was just a passing idea never to surface again. If I have ever learned anything in life, it was to never say "never." I have been the women’s ministry leader for a few years now. I am responsible for planning and executing a women’s overnight retreat each year. Every spring, I organize a Ladies’ Tea. Each Christmas, we plan a women’s Christmas party. Then throughout the year, I plan other fun activities. We travel to Branson at least once a year. We always enjoy going to The New Dinner Theater in Kansas, we went to an escape room once, and we had a woman come and teach us how to paint on canvas, just to name a few things. It was fun, but more importantly, the ladies began to bond with each other. We created many friendships.

I loved leading this amazing group of ladies, but at times, it was hard for me. I was having lots of physical struggles. I asked God so many times, Why must I suffer so? I did not always receive an answer. God doesn’t owe us an answer. He has His plans and His reasons in each of our lives. He will reveal His plans in His time. So, I dealt with my illnesses. I had several women come to me and say, I know you are in pain, but you keep going. How do you do it? I would just tell them I lean on God for strength. If I stayed home every time I hurt, I would stay in a chair for the rest of my life. You will hear more about my struggles later on.

In 2020, we were housebound because of the COVID-19 pandemic. My sister-in-law, Glenda, came over one day along with her husband, Herb. Herb is Ralph’s brother. It was good to see someone again. It had been several weeks since we had anyone over. Glenda came to the door. I eagerly opened the door. She informed me that she and Herb were not sick. I told her we were also well. They were in the neighborhood, and Herb needed to stop by to borrow a tool from Ralph. I eagerly opened the door.

We sat down at the kitchen table. I offered Glenda a glass of ice tea. We chatted for a while as we drank our tea. She handed me a book called When God Doesn’t Fix It by Laura Story. She thought I would like it. You need to understand that I don’t enjoy reading very much. I took the book, said thank you, and set it on the table. Inside, I was thinking, What am I going to do? How am I going to get this book read? But since she brought it, especially for me, I was going to read it.

It took me a week before I opened the book. I kept looking at it on the table, just sitting there telling me to open it. I finally decided to take the plunge. I picked it up and began to read. The first night I started reading this book, I couldn’t put it down. I read half of the book in one night. It was ministering to me in a big way. It changed my life like nothing ever had. As I was reading the book, God began to speak to me. A lot! Our conversation went something like this.

God: You can write a book.

Me: Are You kidding? Remember the kid’s books I was going to write?

God: Yes, I know. But that was different.

I quit talking to God and went back to my reading.

God: Debi, I want you to write a book.

Me: I don’t want to compete with Ralph (my husband). Remember, You told him to write a book too? What would that look like?

God: Yes, I remember telling Ralph to write a book. Now I am asking you to write a book.

Me: I can’t write a book. The lady in this book has a great testimony. She has lots to write about what You have done for her and her husband.

God: So you don’t think I’ve done anything for you?

Me: Yes. You have done a lot of things for me. But I can’t write a book.

I began reading again.

God: Why?

Me: God, I would really like to read this book now.

God: I’m waiting. I have done many things for you, and you need to tell people. That is your testimony.

Me: But God, l can’t write like she does. Look at all her Bible references! I don’t have the Bible background that she obviously has. She went to Bible college to get a music ministry degree. She is qualified to write her book.

God: I don’t want you to write like her. I want you to write like you.

Me: Okay, God. I will write this book, but You have to help me.

God: You know I will.

Me: Now, can I finish reading?

I finished the book in two nights. I feel I must add something here. I had never had a conversation until this day where God would speak to me, then I would answer back, and He would again speak to me. It was an awesome experience. I have had conversations with God like this since. I love our conversations! It is so awesome to talk to God just like you would speak to a friend or family member and especially when you get answers back immediately from God.

The next morning I couldn’t wait to talk to Glenda. I called her as soon as I thought she would be awake. I told her how God had been dealing with me over this book. I mentioned how God kept interrupting me as I tried to read the book. I explained how God told me to write a book about my own struggles and victories. She was thrilled to hear this! She said she needed to tell me something also. Glenda told me that God had spoken to her and told her to give the book to me. She knew I didn’t like reading very much, but she just knew she was supposed to give it to me. When I called her, she said it confirmed to her that she was following God’s direction. That also confirmed to me that I was supposed to write this book. God revealed to me that all the struggles I went through were for a purpose. It was to be used as a testimony to help other people and their struggles. That made my suffering worth it. It wasn’t just because I was bad or that God didn’t like me anymore or that it was just life. It was all for a purpose. Going through something for a specific purpose adds a new perspective. Thank You, God!

So, this book is the book God helped me write. Everyone has a story. These are my stories. Some of my stories I received victory through. In other stories, there is still a battle going on. I have to remind myself through each and every battle that God is my ally. He has given me strength to endure every battle. Why do we have to go through battles? Because we are human. Sin entered our world through Adam and Eve. This is the price of sin. God never promised us a life without problems. He did, however, promise us that He would walk through every battle and struggle with us. Each story in this book has a lesson to learn, and it has deepened my love and trust in God. Just writing this book has brought my spiritual life to a new level. Now, when I face a new struggle, I know without a doubt that God is walking beside me. I know I will be okay.

My only prayer is that when people read my book, it will minister to them. I want this book to be life-changing for you the way the book I read was life-changing for me.

God bless you!

Chapter 1

Dreams Come True

I was born to a middle-class family in Independence, Missouri. My dad worked at a steel factory, and my mother was a homemaker. I had two sisters, Patty and Marcia, both older than me. They are both gone now, along with my mom and dad. Sometimes, I feel like an orphan. It’s a weird feeling when you are the only living person left in your immediate family. Marcia was the last family member to pass away. After she died, I asked God, How come I am the only family member still living? I felt guilty that I was still alive and both my sisters were gone. It is called survivor’s guilt. I was glad that I was still among the living but didn’t understand why my parents and sisters all went on to be with the Lord at such a young age. My dad was only sixty-seven, Patty was forty-seven, Marcia was sixty-eight, and Mom was just eighty. God helped me through my grief. He sheltered me with His love and peace. God is always there when we need Him. I needed Him then, and He was there for me.

When I was a kid, I always thought I would be a school teacher. I would line my dolls and stuffed toys on the floor by my bed and play school. I had painted walls, so it was perfect to write on with chalk. When I finished playing school, I would wipe off my wall with a wet cloth. I would do math problems or spell words on the wall. I would ask one of my dolls or stuffed toys what the answer was. Weird, I know. Sometimes, they were correct, and sometimes, they didn’t get the right answer. What can I say? I was a kid. I loved teaching! I think this was actually practice for my future, although I didn’t know it at the time.

Later, I decided I wanted to be a dancer, like in the movies where they had chorus girls. But I didn’t pursue it. Then I wanted to be a model. My dad paid for me to go to Wendy Ward modeling school at Montgomery Ward. I know that really dates me! LOL! I was about thirteen years old. I loved it and wanted to go on to professional modeling. Dad took me to Kansas City to Patricia Stevens modeling. Unfortunately, my dad didn’t want to spend the money. It was $500, which, at the time, was a lot of money. He was afraid he would pay the money and then I wouldn’t want to go. To this day, I know I would have loved it and would have never quit. But I had to honor my dad’s decision. I really didn’t know for sure what I wanted to be. I had lots of ideas and was just waiting until that special something came along.

During my senior year in school, we had some people from TWA (Trans World Airlines) come to the school to talk to the girls about a career as an airline stewardess. I got really excited. I knew this was for me. This is what I really wanted to do. After they finished talking to us, I raised my hand to ask where to sign up. There was one small problem with me signing up. I was too short. In 1972, you had to be five feet three inches to be a stewardess. I was barely five feet two inches. Once again, I had to pick a different career. But for now, I would put my career on hold.

When Marcia was thirteen years old and I was eight years old, our dad went out and bought us each a new dress and a new pair of shoes. The excitement was building. We were both so excited! Dad wanted to expand our experiences. He wanted to broaden our horizons. He wanted to give us an experience we wouldn’t soon forget. I have never forgotten that experience.

He arranged for us to fly to St. Louis, Missouri. I had never been on a plane before, much less seen one up close. Sitting in the seats was thrilling! The plane starting building up speed as it rolled down the tarmac. I could hear the roaring engines. The plane began to shake. The suspense was building. I was watching closely as the plane began to pick up speed. I could feel the bumps as the plane moved. Finally, I could feel the plane lifting off the ground. I felt my stomach do a flip-flop. The plane entered the air, and we were heading straight for the clouds. Looking out the window from my seat was unbelievable! I could see the clouds. We were flying right through them. I had never been so close to a cloud before. It was unbelievable! When I looked down, everything seemed so tiny. I never even imagined anything like this before. I squealed with excitement. I couldn’t wait to tell Mom all about our adventure. I never wanted it to end. During our flight, I was surprised to see a stewardess coming toward us with drinks and a snack. I didn’t know you got to eat and drink on the plane. I remember saying, "Cool!"

The plane got to our destination way too quickly. I wanted to fly some more. Dad told us that we still had another form of transportation to try. We were taking the train home, back to Independence. We boarded the train