Depression and Other Fun Things

By Geoffrey Stoddard

This journey takes you down the road of my dealings with depression. It was not an easy journey but eventually ended on a positive note. I have injected my sense of humor into the story, which is in no way meant to lessen the effects of depression. I just wanted to lighten up a dark subject. Two unsuccessful suicidal attempts were made but, thankfully, were thwarted. So come have a laugh at my expense and learn about life aboard the SS Depression.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Geoffrey Stoddard
• Release date: Mar 25, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215148617

Geoffrey Stoddard

Geoffrey Stoddard was born on June 3rd, 1952. Always the artistic type, he has to this day written and published over 32 novels and several short stories - including the “And Other Fun Things” biographical series. He is also an accomplished composer and musician who began with the acquisition of his first guitar at age 14. He also authored a 3 act play. He lives in Olympia, Washington with his 1 year old Bombay cat named Kuro.

Book preview

DEPRESSION AND OTHER FUN THINGS

By

Geoffrey Stoddard

DISCLAIMER: This is a true story of my dealings with Depression. I have painted my lifetime of depression with a humorous brush as I believe that laughter is the best medicine. This, however, is not meant to belittle the disease nor those who suffer from it, including myself. It is merely an attempt to make things less painful. I have also used words that are not PC, but I tell it like it is. If the words Suicide and/or Razorblade and/or Overdosing put your tailfeathers in a spin, then you had better tuck your tail between your legs and scoot on out of here. This is a heart-to-heart talk… with humorous benefits.

Prologue

Over 21 million people in the U.S. suffer the same affliction as you, so you are most definitely not alone. That will probably mean less than nothing to you right now, but just know that with the proper medication and counseling you, too, can go on to live a healthy, happy and productive life. Always consult a doctor or counselor as to the correct treatment needed for your road to recovery. I am living your pain and am thus, sharing my lifelong experiences with depression with you in the hopes that you may feel less lost and alone. I will also include examples of what you might expect to encounter should you be stricken with this disease. And if nothing else, I hope my story brings a smile to your face and prompts you to seek appropriate help before resorting to more drastic measures.

Contents

Chapter 1 - A Bouncing Baby Depression is Born

Chapter 2 - Party of One, Your Depression is Ready

Chapter 3 - Awaken and be Free

Chapter 4 - There is Life After Depression

About the Author

Other Books by Geoffrey Stoddard

Chapter 1

A Bouncing Baby Depression is Born

So begins the beginning of what began as a normal beginning. Then again, who is to determine what is or is not normal? Politicians? Oh say it ain’t so! Suffice it to say, we now begin the long and bumpy road down the throat of my depression (road down the throat of my depression?). Bear in mind that your results may vary.

As a young tadpole I remember nothing because I was a young tadpole. My brain had not yet developed to the point of recognition (there are those who will argue that this holds true to this day), therefore I shouldn’t even be talking about that time in my life. Let us then move ahead.

Before I tell you that, I must tell you this. My future was written in the stars by the planet Genetic Makeup (you can find it hiding behind the moon beside Scorpio’s second rising). Yep, unbeknownst to me at the time, I was predestined to enjoy (?) the lifelong torture of depression. This was gracefully and without fanfare handed down to me by my mother who quietly lived with the same disease. Nobody warned me that I would get this. Nobody asked me if I wanted to include it along with additional leather seats and the ever-popular undercoating. Nobody tried to perform surgery in order to take it out of my pituitary gland, or my right testicle, or my uvula, or my giblet or wherever the hell depression resides. Nobody even stepped up to the plate to tattoo Depressive Individual - Wide Load on my forehead.

Okay, now that we have the preliminaries out of the way, I can continue with the story. But, before