Hiccups & Healing: Hiccups & Healing Series, #1

By Saide Saddiq-Cissè

High-conflict co-parenting can be one of the most challenging experiences a parent can face. In this book, I offer an intimate view of my own real-life transcripts from a high-conflict co-parenting situation, along with effective strategies on how to navigate the complex waters of co-parenting. My goal is to empower fathers to become "hiccup heroes" who keep fighting to be present in their children's lives, while also providing insight for mothers into the unique difficulties that fathers may face. Through mutual respect and cooperation, co-parents can work towards creating a more stable and positive environment for their children. This book aims to be a valuable resource for any parent navigating the challenges of high-conflict co-parenting, with practical tips and actionable advice to help you succeed.

• Language: English
• Publisher: The Urban Exchange Co.
• Release date: Mar 26, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215581131

Saide Saddiq-Cissè

Saide Saddiq-Cissè is a dedicated and versatile professional with experience in various industries, including sales, education, marketing, and community engagement. Throughout his career, he has demonstrated a passion for empowering individuals and communities through his work. Saide began his career in mental health caregiving, where he provided support and care for individuals with mental health and behavioral issues. He quickly rose to the challenge of managing crisis situations and building relationships with patients, which fueled his desire to help others in different ways. Saide later pursued a degree in Marketing Management from Western Governors University, where he honed his skills in marketing strategy, project management, and data analysis. He has since held several positions in the marketing industry, including digital marketer, marketing director, and project coordinating assistant. In addition to his marketing work, Saide has also made significant contributions to his community through various engagement initiatives. As a Community Engagement Manager at Promise Neighborhoods LV, he developed and managed community engagement strategies, marketing campaigns, and fundraising efforts. He also founded Arrow Up Media, a community-driven campaign that aimed to inspire, educate, and equip local youth with the resources necessary to take control of their own lives. Saide's commitment to community empowerment is also evident in his work as a substitute teacher and program facilitator, where he created and facilitated curriculum, managed classrooms, and provided guidance to youth. He has worked with several organizations and schools, including Essex Educational Services Commission, The Leadership Program, and Open Future Institute. Saide's impressive career is a testament to his unwavering dedication to empowering individuals and communities. He has a passion for inspiring others to achieve their full potential and creating positive change in the world.

Book preview

Hiccups & Healing

Hiccups & Healing Series, Volume 1

Saide Saddiq-Cissè

Published by The Urban Exchange Co., 2023.

This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.

HICCUPS & HEALING

First edition. March 26, 2023.

Copyright © 2023 Saide Saddiq-Cissè.

ISBN: 979-8215581131

Written by Saide Saddiq-Cissè.

Table of Contents

Title Page

Copyright Page

HICCUPS & Healing (Hiccups & Healing Series, #1)

About the Author

Foreword

Hey there! Are you a dad in the midst of a high conflict co-parenting situation? Or perhaps you're considering divorce from a partner with whom you have children? Maybe you're simply interested in learning more about the complexities of high conflict co-parenting and how to become a HICCUP (High Conflict Co-Parenting) Hero. Well, whatever your reason for being here, let's dive right into the elephant in the room that's wreaking havoc on families everywhere. It doesn't matter who you are - whether you're a mom, dad, grandparent, or guardian; whether you're rich, poor, black, or blue - this issue affects us all. But fear not, my friend! I'm here to provide you with some inspiration and a healthy dose of tough love. So buckle up and let's tackle this challenge together!

See, I've been there. I've felt the sting of a custody battle and the frustration of dealing with a difficult co-parent. But instead of letting it defeat me, I used that energy to become a better parent, a stronger person, and a voice for change.

Because here's the thing - high-conflict co-parenting isn't just a personal problem. It's a societal problem that's contributing to the decline of our communities. It's time for us to step up, take responsibility, and create a better future for our children. So buckle up, grab a cup of coffee (or wine, I don't judge), and let's dive into the world of high-conflict co-parenting together.

First things first, it's important to understand what high-conflict co-parenting is and why it's so detrimental. Simply put, high-conflict co-parenting is when two parents have ongoing, intense conflicts that impact their ability to co-parent effectively. This can manifest in many ways, such as arguing, withholding information or visitation, bad-mouthing the other parent, or even physical altercations.

Now, I know firsthand just how destructive and exhausting high-conflict co-parenting can be. My ex-partner  has made it a living hell for me to be a parent. There was a time she filed for sole custody of our daughter, seeking full control over her life. Thankfully, the court ruled in my favor, but that didn't stop the drama. Months later, during one of my scheduled parenting times, my ex approached me with a question we had already discussed. When I refused to answer, she withheld my child from me. I had no choice but to call the police to help me exercise my court-ordered parenting time.

What followed was a chaotic and stressful situation. My ex and her brother made a big scene, and when the cops arrived, they took a report and let me leave with my daughter. But the next day, my ex went and filed a temporary restraining order against me, along with false claims that I had purposely hit her with a door, causing a bruise that she actually caused herself the next day. I had to fight to prove my innocence so that my rights as a father to my child were not stripped away.

Through all of this, I learned the hard way just how crucial it is to have a strong support system and a willingness to fight for what's right. It's easy to feel defeated in these situations, but we can't let the toxic energy of high-conflict co-parenting consume us. We have to rise above it, focus on what's best for our children, and never give up.

See, the effects of high-conflict co-parenting are far-reaching and devastating. For children, it can lead to behavioral problems, emotional distress, and even physical health issues. For parents, it can cause stress, anxiety, and financial strain. And for society as a whole, it contributes to the breakdown of family structures and the perpetuation of negative cycles.

But it doesn't have to be this way. With the right mindset and tools, it's possible to navigate high-conflict co-parenting and create a healthier, more peaceful environment for everyone involved.

One of the most important things to keep in mind is that your children should always come first. It can be easy to get caught up in the drama and lose sight of what really matters, but remember that your kids are the ones who will be most affected by your actions. Keep their best interests at heart and try to maintain a united front as best as possible with your co-parent when it comes to parenting decisions.

Another key factor in managing high-conflict co-parenting is communication. While it may be difficult to communicate with someone you don't get along with, it's essential for the well-being of your children. Try to keep all communication polite, respectful, and focused on the needs of your child. If necessary, consider using a neutral third party, such as a mediator or counselor, to help facilitate communication.

It's also important to set boundaries and establish clear guidelines for co-parenting. This includes things like visitation schedules, decision-making processes, and rules for communication. When everyone knows what's expected of them, it can help to reduce conflict and create a more harmonious environment.

Of course, none of this is easy. It takes work, patience, and a willingness to put aside personal differences for the greater good. But trust me when I say that it's worth it. Seeing your children thrive in a healthy, supportive environment is one of the most rewarding experiences a parent can have.

Now, I mentioned tough love earlier, so here it is: if you're currently in a high-conflict co-parenting situation and you're not actively working towards a resolution, you're part of the problem. It's time to take responsibility for your actions, put aside your ego, and start working towards a brighter future for your family.

This may mean seeking help from a therapist, attending co-parenting classes, or simply committing to making small changes in your behavior. Whatever it takes, make the effort to create a more positive co-parenting dynamic.

Remember, high-conflict co-parenting isn't a personal failing. It's a complex issue that affects millions of families around the world. But with a little bit of inspiration and a whole lot of hard work, it's possible to break free from the cycle of conflict and create a brighter future for everyone involved. So let's get to work!

This book is my attempt to make use of my personal HICCUP experience in a positive way. I share with you practical strategies and techniques that I've developed during my journey. My hope is that my story will inspire you to keep fighting for your children and provide you with some tools to help you overcome the obstacles that come with high-conflict co-parenting. I believe that by sharing my story, we can help end the cycle of conflict and the decline of society by promoting a healthier and more harmonious future for our families and society as a whole.

Navigating the challenges of high-conflict co-parenting can feel insurmountable, but it's crucial to recognize that there is always hope for a brighter future. By implementing the practical strategies and techniques outlined in this book, you can begin to overcome the obstacles and create more peace within your own HICCUP experience. With dedication and the right support, you can become a hero for your child and break free from the cycle of conflict. Let this book serve as a guide to help you pave the way for your hero’s journey into a healthier, happier future for yourself and your family.

Chapter 1: A Fight For Fatherhood

As a father, my journey has been both rewarding and challenging since my daughter was born. I've experienced the joys of watching her grow and develop, but I've also had to face the harsh reality of high-conflict co-parenting. My co-parent and I have been embroiled in a custody battle from the start, with her attempting to control every aspect of our child's life and limit my access to her.

Despite her best efforts, I was awarded joint legal custody and equal parenting time in September of 2022. However, my world was turned upside down in November of that same year. When I arrived for my scheduled parenting time, my co-parent created a scene and refused to let me take my daughter. She and her brother antagonized me, and I was physically assaulted. Despite having a court order, I was unable to retrieve my daughter under peaceful terms, and I was forced to involve the police.

Two days later, I arrived to drop off my daughter, only to be met with a surprising turn of events. Despite agreeing to a safe exchange at the police station, I was falsely accused by my co-parent of purposely hitting her with a door, despite an earlier report indicating the opposite. As a result, I was taken into custody on a temporary restraining order and simple assault charges. The weekend spent in jail was a difficult and trying time. Upon my release, I was ordered to have no contact with my child or her mother until a hearing could be held. This was a challenging experience, one that highlights the need for reform in our legal system, particularly in cases of domestic disputes.

In the following transcripts, you'll get a firsthand account of the domestic violence TRO (Temporary Restraining Order) final hearing that had a profound impact on my co-parenting journey. The hearing was a pivotal moment in my success against HICCUPs (high-conflict co-parenting, situations) and it shed light on the extreme lengths some parents are willing to go in order to gain control over custody arrangements. By sharing these transcripts, I hope to provide insight and guidance for others navigating similar situations, and encourage a more compassionate and collaborative approach to co-parenting that prioritizes the well-being of the child and the involvement of both parents. So, let's dive in and explore the transcripts that have the potential to make a positive impact on your own HICCUP experience or someone's that you may know.

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Disclaimer: The following conversation is based on a real court hearing, but the names of the individuals involved have been changed for privacy purposes. Everything else in the conversation represents actual events and things said in the real court hearing. This book is a work of fiction inspired by real events, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Final Restraining Order Hearing

(Proceedings commenced at 9:37:55 a.m.)

THE COURT: All right. Good morning. This is the Superior Court of New Jersey, Chancery Division, Family Part here in Middlesex County. I'm Judge Sunny Glavin, Courtroom 304. We are here on the record of cross complaint matters. The first one is Jezabell Jones versus—is it Saide Cisse?

MR. CISSE: It's Saide, Saide Cisse.

THE COURT: Saide Cisse, thank you. And that is Docket No. FV-13-1171-23H. The second one that I have is Saide Cisse v. Jezabell Jones, FV-13-1196-23H. May I have appearances of counsel—the appearance of counsel and then swear in the parties, please.

MR. NATALE: Good morning, Your Honor. Gerry Natale, that's N-A-T-A-L-E, on behalf of the defendant/plaintiff, Mr. Cisse, who is also present in court to my right.

THE COURT CLERK: Both parties raise your right hand. Starting with you, ma'am, state your name for the record. Ma'am, your name, please.

MS. JONES: Jezabell Jones.

THE COURT CLERK: Sir?

MR. CISSE: Saide Cisse.

JEZABELL JONES, SWORN

SAIDE CISSE, SWORN

THE COURT CLERK: You may be