Writing Between the Sexes

By Leigh Michaels

"Why can't a woman be more like a man?"

--Professor Henry Higgins, My Fair Lady

 

Men and women think, talk, and act differently – which causes problems for writers who are trying to create characters of the opposite sex.

 

When we understand the difference between behaviors and attitudes that are seen as "masculine" or "feminine," we can use those behaviors and patterns to create characters who are plausible and unique, but not stereotypical. 

 

Each person displays unique qualities, influenced by upbringing, family of origin, ethnicity, education, profession, and experience. These behaviors are so ingrained in us that the characters we create often act, think, and talk just as we do – whether or not that's convincing for the character.

 

Writing Between the Sexes will help you to identify your own gender-specific behaviors, notice those of the opposite sex as well as of other people who are different from you, and use your observations to make your characters realistic and believable.

 

Leigh Michaels is the award-winning author of more than 100 books, including historical romance, contemporary romance, and books about writing. Her books have been published in 27 languages and 120 countries, with more than 35 million copies in print.

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: PBL Limited
• Release date: Mar 20, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215433478

Leigh Michaels

Leigh Michaels (https://leighmichaels.com) is the author of more than 100 books, including contemporary romance novels, historical romance novels, and non-fiction books including local history and books about writing. She is the author of Writing the Romance Novel, which has been called the definitive guide to writing romances. Six of her books have been finalists in the Romance Writers of America RITA contest for best traditional romance of the year, and she has won two Reviewers' Choice awards from Romantic Times (RT Book Review) magazine. More than 35 million copies of her books have been published in 25 languages and 120 countries around the world. She teaches romance writing online at Gotham Writers Workshop.

Book preview

WRITING BETWEEN THE SEXES

or

Why Can’t a Woman

Be More Like a Man?

––––––––

by

Leigh Michaels

https://LeighMichaels.com

––––––––

copyright 2010, 2023 by Leigh Michaels

all rights reserved.

PBL Limited

Ottumwa Iowa

https://pbllimited.com

Why can’t a woman be more like a man?

—Professor Henry Higgins, My Fair Lady

Men and women think, talk, and act differently – which causes problems for writers who are trying to create characters of the opposite sex.

When we understand the difference between behaviors and attitudes that are seen as masculine or feminine, we can use those behaviors and patterns to create characters who are plausible and unique, but not stereotypical. 

Each person displays unique qualities, influenced by upbringing, family of origin, ethnicity, education, profession, and experience. These behaviors are so ingrained in us that the characters we create often act, think, and talk just as we do – whether or not that’s convincing for the character.

Writing Between the Sexes will help you to identify your own gender-specific behaviors, notice those of the opposite sex as well as of other people who are different from you, and use your observations to make your characters realistic and believable.

Table of Contents

Introduction

In The Beginning

The Overall Picture

Let’s Talk about Talking

Thinking and Feeling

Action!

Summing Up

About the Author

Other Books

Introduction

Why can’t a woman be more like a man?

Professor Henry Higgins asked that question quite plaintively in the Broadway play and movie, My Fair Lady. He was dealing with a much different time period and social system – the Victorian era – but the question is still being asked, along with its logical counterpart: Why can’t a man be more like a woman?

The question itself is enlightening when we stop to think about it. Henry Higgins’ basic premise was correct; there are differences between men and women. This has nothing to do with sexism, feminism or equal rights. It’s simply a fact of life, recognized by psychologists and neurologists, that men and women act, think, and talk differently. (Deborah Tannen and John Gray, to name two prominent psychologists and writers, have made a life’s work out of explaining the differences.) And it’s important to note that neither the masculine way nor the feminine way is better; they’re simply different.

But Henry Higgins fell into the same trap most humans do. We want members of the opposite sex to react in the same way we would. Our way feels like the natural way – the right way. In fact, most of the time we don’t even realize that there’s another way to react, a way which is totally different but equally valid. In effect, we deny that any differences exist, even though we’re continually frustrated by them.

And that’s why writers sometimes get into trouble when we create characters of the opposite sex – because we show them talking, thinking and behaving not as their gender suggests they would, but in the way we – the author – would react if facing the same situation.

This happens so naturally that we often do not recognize the problem. We reach for the metaphors and descriptions and expressions which are natural to us – unless we stop and give serious thought as to whether they’re appropriate for the character.

If a female writer’s male characters think, act,