The Pickup Artist Handbook: 4 BOOKS IN 1 - Dating for Men, How to Talk to Women, Text Game for Men, Premature Ejaculation

By Nate Strauss

Are you sick of getting stunned or freezing up when you have to make conversation with a beautiful woman? Do you find yourself running out of topics or going blank when conversing with women? Do women lose interest in the middle of the conversation?

 

If you want to stop these terrible behaviors from occurring again, then keep reading!

Learning how to naturally talk to women and indulging them in open conversation is a skill that few men have. You will have to understand the diverse communication styles that each gender adopts and incorporate behaviors that make you look confident. It will help you be heard and also increase your chances of a successful conversation.

 

Nate Strauss' series is comprised of one all-encompassing bundle here with The Pickup Artist Handbook: 4 In 1 – Dating for Men, How to Talk to Women, Text Game for Men, Premature Ejaculation.

 

Dating for Men: How to Meet the Women you Want, In-Person and Online

 

•  How and where to meet women;
•  Ideal ways to approach a woman;
•  Non-verbal cues: the most important aspect of communication;
•  Managing social anxiety to encourage talking to women;
•  Tips to avoid the friend zone ;
•  Conversational tips to talk to women;

 

How to Talk To Women: The Ultimate Guide To Mastering Communication, Starting Conversation, and How to Flirt with Charisma, Character, and Charm

 

•  Conversational tips to talk to women;
•  Improving verbal communication skills;
•  Successful ways to talk to women;
•  Non-verbal cues: important aspect of communicating with women;
•  Tapping into online and texting communications;

Text Game for Men: The Ultimate Guide to Mastering Communication with Women Through Texting, Online Dating, Tinder, Bumble, OKCupid, Match and More!

 

•  Principle #12: Match Her Responsiveness;
•  Principle #16: Spike Her Interest;
•  Principle #20: Don't Panic If She Disappears;
•  Principle #23: If She Talks Too Much, Use It To Your Advantage;

•  Principle #27:  How To Sext;

 

Premature Ejaculation: The Complete Guide to Better Sex, and Controlling PE - Learn How to Last Longer in Bed and Get Complete Control Over Your Ejaculation

 

•  What exactly PE is, and how it affects you;
•  The mind-boggling truth behind what causes PE;
•  Tips and tricks for how to keep her happy in bed;

•  Daily habits that will seriously boost your sex life;
•  Fool-proof techniques to fix your premature ejaculation once and for all;

 

AND SO MUCH MORE!

Whatever the reasoning is, know that pursuit of this knowledge does not somehow make you an inferior man. This is not some radical crazy problem in your life that can't be fixed - It certainly can. If you want to leave behind your boring sex life and truly become the man of every women's dreams, then you need this book today.

What are you waiting for? Scroll up and hit BUY NOW to start today!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Publishing Forte
• Release date: Aug 29, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201246204

Book preview

The Pickup Artist Handbook

Copyright © 2022 by Publishing Forte

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

Contents

Dating for Men

Introduction

1. Understand What Women Want

2. Being the Rock a Woman Needs

3. Meeting the Woman You Want, In-Person and Online

4. The Fine Art of Flirtation and first dates

5. Physical Intimacy and Sex

6. From Just Dating to in a Relationship

7. Handling Breakups

Conclusion

How to Talk To Women

Introduction

1. Why Do You Fail To Attract The Woman Of Your Dreams?

2. Power of Talk - How and Who Gets Heard?

3. The Best Ways to Approach

4. Plan Before You Walk

5. How To Present Yourself?

6. Making Small Talk

7. Work On Non-Verbal Cues

8. Create A Deeper Connection

9. Anxiety and Fear

10. Coping Up With Fear Of Conversation/Rejection

11. Dealing with Social Anxiety

12. Tackling Face-to-Face Interactions

13. Dating Online

14. Texting Questions / Topics To Keep The Conversation Going

15. Signs That She Is Not Into You

16. How To Start A Conversation?

17. What If The Conversation Is Stalling?

18. Improving Communication Skills

19. Tips To Avoid Friend Zone

20. Place To Meet And Converse With Women Successfully

Conclusion

Text Game for Men

Introduction

1. Part I- Mindset

2. Part II- Execution

Conclusion

Premature Ejaculation: The Complete Guide to Better Sex, and Controlling PE

Introduction

1. Motivation

2. Premature Ejaculation

3. Instant Cool-Down Tricks And Techniques

4. The Ejaculation Process

5. Masturbation and Pornography Habits

6. Breathing Techniques

7. Controlling Your Pelvic Muscles

8. Pelvic Muscle Exercises

9. Training Exercises

10. Partner Exercises

11. Tips And Techniques To Improve Your Lasting Time Tonight

Conclusion

Dating for Men

How to Meet the Women you Want, In-Person and Online

Dating for Men

Introduction

As you presumably already know, dating is difficult for various reasons. Some of the males I work with are undecided about their desires. Some people have recently ended a long relationship and learned that dating is a completely different game. Others are in their early twenties, have little experience, and require assistance in gaining confidence. Many of the men I train are successful by all other cultural criteria but find women perplexing. This may or may not surprise you. To put it another way, you can be in any stage of life and still struggle to form a sustainable relationship.

Certain cultural shifts haven't made this journey any simpler. Technology advancements, such as the widespread availability of dating apps, have made meeting single individuals in person quite uncommon. Our minds aren't built to handle the plethora of alternatives given by apps like Tinder. They've also developed a dating public used to novelty—the idea that there's always someone better out there if you swipe long enough.

In addition to these issues, the evolution of traditional gender roles and the rise of a more sex-positive culture have significantly altered the way people date. This is, by and large, a good thing. It can, however, be perplexing. The term relationship has become more elastic in recent years, and men have been required to present themselves differently than they have for decades. They're required to learn consent language, be more vulnerable, and abandon the traditions associated with toxic masculinity. Many men have been compelled to reconsider their interactions with women and the underlying power dynamics that govern them due to the long-overdue reckoning over sexual harassment and violence, as expressed in the #MeToo movement. While this work is vital, it may have the unintended result of making males more hesitant to approach or open up to women for fear of being dubbed a creep—or worse.

The goal of this book is to help you gain confidence in your own skin and carry yourself with vigor and passion—to give you the tools you need to attract, engage, and ultimately create true, long-term relationships with women on your own terms. Unlike other dating resources for men this book provides direct guidance from the source. You'll find not just my professional guidance and knowledge on these pages but also pertinent testimonies from real women.

Some parts of this book may be more appealing to you than others. However, the ideas presented herein won’t work for you if you don’t apply them. Knowing the concepts isn't enough. You must integrate them into your daily life. I always joke that I offer people who work with me a 300 percent guarantee: what I offer helps 100 percent of the people who do 100 percent of the work 100 percent of the time. The ideas in this book have empowered men like you to push beyond their comfort zones, reach their full potential as purposeful men, and attract their dream women in the process.

So, without further ado, I welcome you on this incredible adventure! Know that as you work through this book, I’m rooting for you every step of the way.

Happy Reading!

1

Understand What Women Want

How do you become the kind of man women desire while remaining true to your own identity? The information in the following chapters will help you answer that question, so read on for some helpful advice.

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As a general rule, we associate dating with the search for love. When you're the best version of yourself, love has no choice but to fall in love with you. Dispelling popular beliefs about what men should be and what women are looking for in a potential partner is the focus of this chapter.

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The lies men believe about what women want

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We often think of dating as the way we find love. But the truth is, when you become the best version of yourself, love has no choice but to find you. Here, we’ll dispel popular notions about how men should be and demystify what women are looking for in a potential partner.

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We’re all brought up to believe certain ideas about how we should look, behave, speak, dress, and interact with the opposite sex. So much of what we’re taught from a young age fails to align with what we discover about ourselves as we grow older. Though we often consider personal development as an additive, it may be helpful to reframe your growth as subtractive—the process of removing what shouldn’t have been there in the first place to reveal the truest version of yourself.

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Ask yourself: what do I think women are looking for in a man? Regardless of your age, race, or cultural background, it’s likely you’re thinking of a similar set of traits: an outward projection of strength, both physical and emotional; the ability to assert one’s dominance, perhaps by being boisterous or condescending; monetary wealth. From high school to Hollywood, generations of conflicting messages and conditioning have polluted the definition of masculinity. As a result, most guys’ ideas of what women want are shockingly universal.

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But they’re not necessarily true or healthy. These traits can lead to toxic behavior when unchecked, particularly in interactions with women. They can also affect you personally: if you are, for example, brought up to believe that sharing your emotions is a sign of weakness, it’s only natural that you’d have a hard time opening up to people and forging deeper connections.

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I’ve detailed five lies men hear about what women want in the pages to follow. The goal here is to question expectations around masculinity in the context of dating to gain a deeper, more nuanced understanding of the kind of attributes women are attracted to.

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Women Don’t Want a Man Who Shows His Emotions.

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Men traditionally discouraged emotional expression because they were taught that it was unmanly. For example, think of the typical American man of the 1950s, a sturdy, hard-working man who shies away from revealing much about himself for fear that doing so might make him seem untrustworthy. When a star athlete at the top of the high school food chain is told by his coach to take it like a man, he feels humiliated and chastised. Men's idols include athletes, world leaders, and writers like Ernest Hemingway. A man's emotional health is often sacrificed in the name of a man's courage, but this couldn't be further from the truth.

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Many men cannot express their feelings because they lack the tools to do so. Anger and resentment may fester in men who don't feel they can express themselves freely because they aren't given the support they need. Suppression can be lonely and isolating for those who are subjected to it. Especially harmful in romantic partnerships. Males prone to lash out in anger or shut down may display unhealthy and violent behavior, making it difficult for their partners to penetrate their defenses.

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In reality, a man can have a strong character while also being open about his feelings. On the other hand, women say that they feel closer to their partners when they open up emotionally. To build a strong and lasting relationship with someone, you must express your feelings to them! Real men don't cry, someone may have told you. On the other hand, real men aren't afraid to show their emotions.

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Women Want the Man to Take the Lead

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If you're looking for happiness, you're going to need more than you think you do. Many women have told me they desire to be in charge of their own lives and businesses. Despite this, some of these women report feeling less sexually attracted to their partners once they reach this level of success.

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When it comes down to it, most couples want equal power distribution. In other words, equal doesn't always mean the same. For example, your girlfriend may have the upper hand in the bedroom, even if you decide where to go on vacation. Instead of a man who takes the lead by default, women want a confident man to cede control and demand it, depending on the situation.

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Women Are Looking For a Provider

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Anyone who attempts to uphold it, especially in today's world, will be infuriated by this generalized statement. Even if this is true, it's no longer true given the rising living costs and more women than ever before entering the workforce.  (in the United States at least). Even in countries where men are traditionally the primary breadwinners, most women agree that working and contributing financially to their relationship brings them great joy. Women's attraction to a provider isn't based solely on their ability to support them financially but rather on their ambition, accountability, and willingness to put in the hours. In today's world, women are looking for men who can provide them with love, support, and empathy rather than men who can provide them with money.

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Women Like ‘Macho’ Men

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All the movies about the hero who gets the girl, gets the job, and has a higher social status should come to mind. Emotionally inaccessible and obnoxious men seem to be the ones who consistently win. On the other hand, true confidence isn't loud, but bold.

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Fortunately, modern society is undergoing a paradigm shift. The idea that women want loud jocks is becoming increasingly outmoded as more men devote time and money to personal growth. Increasingly, we place a higher value on cooperation than on competition, on friendship than on rivalry, and on surplus rather than deficit. In the old paradigm, winning meant being aggressive and clever enough to outwit your opponent. The new paradigm is much broader, and it teaches us that the only person we have to outwit is ourselves if we are authentic. Competitiveness is always beaten by creativity. It's impossible to grow if you're constantly competing with other men. There is no limit to what you can do when you are your own fiercest rival. Loud, competitive men aren't what women want. For them, the ideal candidate is a man who is committed to carving out his own path.

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Women Like Men Who Get With a Lot of Girls

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Men, and even some women, still hold the pernicious belief that the more women a man sleeps with, the more manly he is perceived to be. I have nothing against men having fun with each other in public, but the idea that they should be rewarded for it is absurd. As a result, men who have sex with women only to satisfy a lustful desire—or to add another notch to their belt—tend to be insatiable because their souls are hungry for more. Of course, this is not what women desire. Women are looking for a man who is both attractive and mature enough to know when to give in to his desires—a man who prefers long-term relationships to casual hookups.

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Flip the Script: Nice Guys Finish Last

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There’s a difference between being nice and being kind. In my view, niceness stems from a compulsion to appease or please others, whereas kindness comes from an inherent desire to treat others with compassion regardless of who they are or what the reward is. Niceness is easy; kindness is hard. For example, a kind guy might be honest about not wanting to pursue something romantically after a few dates, empowering the woman he’s seeing to pursue other people rather than wasting her time. A nice guy might keep things going for fear of hurting this person in the short term, ultimately hurting her more in the long run.

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In a sense, nice guys do finish last, because their concern for others may be disingenuous, driven by fear or convenience. In my experience, men who prioritize kindness come off as more authentic—and generally more attractive as a result.

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Asking the Why Instead of What

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What do women want? At times it feels like an intimidating question! Many men have given up hope to find the answer over years or even decades of struggle. But is it that difficult to understand why women choose certain men over others?

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Women certainly are complex beings. Their minds seem to be an endless ocean of thoughts and emotions. Maybe we are right when we think and say: Women often don’t make any sense. Perhaps they are stupid, demanding, irrational, or too emotional?

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Or does the problem lie within us? Are we, as men, unwilling to listen and dive deep into the depths of a woman’s desire? Are we hesitant to find an answer we don’t like? I believe many men instinctively already know the answer to what a woman wants, but they’re hesitant to answer the calling of a woman.

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After all, if we’d know what a woman wants, we see ourselves faced with a harsh reality: Do we even represent what she needs? To illustrate this, let’s look a bit at my own personal and dating background. I wasn’t always knowledgeable about women. There’s no way I would have known what to write about women four years ago as of writing this book. I only reached a real understanding of what makes an attractive man in my thirties after self-discovery inspired by a lot of heartbreak and a load of rejection.

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Before that, one could say I used to be a loser. The dictionary defines a loser as a person who loses especially consistently — someone who’s doomed to fail or disappoint. But is this really what a loser is? Is a loser socially awkward and doesn’t have a game with women? Is a loser someone who consistently loses? Or is there something else to it?

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Merriam Webster’s dictionary definition described me, but it wasn’t the entire picture. Sure, I was your stereotypical nerd in high school. I did not have many friends, bullies picked on me for most of my teenage years, and I was pretty terrible with my grades. I’d freeze at the thought of hitting on a woman. If Miriam Webster had paid attention to me, I might have accidentally redefined the term making moves by standing in place and not approaching women. But that’s normal for a lot of men. Of course, not every one of us had a bad childhood, and not everyone grew up with insecurities. However, we all accumulate our share of pain and insecurities from rejection and relationship failures over the years and decades. We’re not perfect, and we all screw up with women throughout the years. We all have our hesitancy and self-doubt that limit our ability to seduce and make women fall for us.

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So why do some men succeed and others don’t in the battle of love? How did I evolve from a shy, introverted boy, unable to seduce women, into a confident, seemingly extroverted man who attracted women near effortlessly? How did I change from unsuccessfully chasing women to women themselves noticing and chasing me? I truly believed I was an utterly hopeless case at one point in my life, and I felt at war with love. Yet here I stand, victorious.

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Men who are winners first win the reigns over their minds. Then they know how to conquer love. I wasn’t a loser because I used to be an introverted man who didn’t know how to socialize and talk to women in my teenage years and 20s. I was a loser because I was my own worst enemy. Many men are their own worst enemies. The answers to our questions aren’t out there; they’re within ourselves.

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Women aren’t our adversaries. They aren’t the ones we need to understand to win the battle for love. At least it isn’t the first step. The real problem is that men often fail to understand ourselves enough because we’ve lacked the proper role models to teach us how important it is to embrace what and how we feel.

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So many dating books will tell you, Women want a confident man. They want a strong man — an alpha male. It’s not a big secret. We all know this intuitive knowledge. Your average friend can tell you a woman wants a confident man who provides stability. Sure enough, this is solid advice. But what does that mean? What are confidence, stability, and masculine strength? When someone talks about dating courage, they will tell you about being centered and always believing in yourself, but this doesn’t identify the root of a woman’s desire.

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A woman desires a confident man not only because it shows he’s an alpha male and won’t be a doormat or put the woman on a pedestal. Yes, those are all consequences of confidence. But what she wants deep inside is a confident man because it is proof that you understand yourself and confidently rule your inner kingdom.

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Unfortunately, we men are notorious for not being in touch with our feelings, and without understanding our own emotions, how could we possibly give a woman what she needs? How could we comprehend another woman if we don’t understand ourselves? We all know that women are like riddles that cannot be solved. To us, they seem endlessly complicated. We’d be fools to believe we can make sense of a woman’s heart if we can’t even make sense of ourselves.

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It’s like playing the guitar for years and picking up the Ukulele. A classical guitarist who hasn’t learned music theory will soon discover that all the chords from his 6-string guitar no longer work on a 4-string Ukulele. He can blindly memorize hundreds of chords on the guitar and not understand that almost all chords only contain three notes, so-called triads.

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If a Ukulele only has four strings, it should be incredibly easy to hold down one or two strings to play the three votes needed to form a triad chord. Many Ukulele chords only require one finger to create the chord shape. Surprisingly, playing all four strings without holding down any strings forms a C6 chord.

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A guitarist playing the Ukulele for the first time could probably figure out how to play many chords without even looking at chord diagrams. But he’s never learned the fundamentals of music theory, so he remains clueless. He does not realize he hasn’t been paying attention to how and why he plays the chords on a guitar. This analogy shows us why losers fail consistently: A loser isn’t paying attention to the right things, and that’s why he is doomed to fail.

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Women long for the man who will sweep them off their feet, someone who understands and cherishes them the way they want to be adored. Women want to trust that a man has what it takes, but they cannot put their faith in a man’s hands if they don’t believe he knows himself.

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She wants to feel that a man knows his reason to wake up in the morning. She wants a man who takes care of himself. After all, if a man can’t even take care of himself, how could he possibly bring his woman safety? We often ask ourselves questions like What does it mean to be masculine or What does it mean to be a man? but have we ever stopped and asked ourselves, Why? instead of What?

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What is masculinity? We all know that masculinity is about success. Achievements. Competence. Pride. Excellence. Confidence. Power. Perseverance. Knowledge. At the heart of every man’s desire is the pursuit of excellence. We all seek the answer to the life-long question, Do I have what it takes?

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You don’t need a book to tell you what your masculine core craves. It’s in your nature, just like a woman’s feminine essence instinctively wants to answer the question, Am I love-able? The critical question isn’t about what; it’s about why we’re instinctively wired to long for the answer to this question.

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Why am I? Why am I seeking success? Why am I pursuing that business? Why do I want a woman’s warmth and kindness? Why do I have this hobby? Why do I want to give back to my community? Why do I get angry? Why am I afraid? Why do I want to excel in sports? Why do I not want to settle down right now?

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Asking Why am I the way I am? changes the narrative from an external perspective of defining what we as men need to be for others to become successful in life, career, and relationships to an internal view of why am I getting up in the morning? What’s the reason that motivates and drives me to be the best man I can be? Your why isn’t about others or a particular woman. It’s about yourself.

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Focus on your Why instead of your What, and you will discover your most heartfelt core values. At its core, a woman looks for this sincerity. She wants to feel inspired by your intentional spirit. But for many women, a man’s core remains hidden because many men haven’t found it themselves yet.

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Your masculine core is not defined by what you try to be for others. It’s defined by your deepest values that you embody as a choice for yourself. They explain why you are unique among men and have more to give than any other man. A woman wants to look beneath the surface of a man.

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Women are incredibly conscious of everything in life. They always pay attention to everything they observe and stay in tune with how they process their emotions while they’re observing. This is why women sit down with their girlfriends and casually talk about their feelings, whereas men sit down to compete in a video game. Men pursue excellence in activities, whereas women pursue beauty and connection in their relationships. Women also pay a lot of attention to how you, as a man, process your emotions and how you express them — or don’t express them.

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Studies have shown that women are more attracted to expressive men. It doesn’t mean that women prefer a man who’s continuously preoccupied with his emotions or showers her with his vulnerabilities non-stop; instead, it means that they want a man who can express what he stands for freely, confidently, and with a lot of clarity.

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Women are drawn to a man’s essence that is unapologetically on display. She is drawn to your humanness and realness. Men who aren’t afraid to express themselves freely often live far beyond their comfort zone because they have learned that to live a fulfilled life, one has to dare greatly and stop seeking permission to live life on his terms.

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When we live outside of our comfort zone, we become magnetic, and our energy turns into a force field that attracts any woman. Women aren’t attracted to a man who’s got all his shit figured out because he has pursued a particular business successfully and is now making a lot of money. Women are attracted to the successful businessman for his being-ness, not his doing-ness. She doesn’t care what business he has. She cares that she can feel who he is.

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You don’t highlight your money, success, social circle, or any other status symbol to a woman. You’re highlighting your essence and energy. When two good energies for each other collide, they begin to resonate. Your energy combined with the right woman results in an even more powerful energy form that produces incredible healing power that vitalizes and inspires a woman to live her life to the fullest. Your essence is some woman’s medicine. It’s that healing power that makes it clear to her that you’re the man she has been waiting for.

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When a woman runs into a successful man, she doesn’t ask herself, What makes him so successful and confident? She asks herself, Why do his success and confidence make me feel so good? Why does the way he talks to me make me feel safe and engulfed in warmth? Women care about how you make them feel, and because of this, the Why is more important than the What.

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Behind every man’s undeniable essence is a story. What and why you stand for something tells her whether both your essences — your reason for living — align. Self-discovery is crucial to succeeding in dating. It’s the first step towards the discovery of a woman’s love. Before we can appreciate a woman’s Why of being drawn to you, let’s talk about your Why — your essence and energy that makes a woman gravitate around you.

2

Being the Rock a Woman Needs

Dating may often feel like a balancing act of attraction and rejection, excitement and dread. It's only natural for our greatest fears to bubble to the surface. We'll work on overcoming your limiting beliefs and anxieties in this chapter to help you become the best version of yourself.

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Pinpoint Your Limiting Beliefs

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Limiting beliefs are statements you tell yourself which make you feel like something is wrong with you. They hold us back from taking control of our lives and living how we want to. For example, I'm not smart enough; I'm too shy to talk to girls, my parents will never understand me or love me the way I need them to. These beliefs can lead us to a downward spiral where we become depressed and make excuses for self-sabotage.

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Limiting beliefs aren't something you're born with. As children, they're instilled in us by our parents and peers, and they're reinforced throughout our lives. These beliefs apply to our physical appearance as well as our personality. They can also become self-fulfilling prophecies: if you believe you're too shy, for example, it may be more difficult for you to summon the courage to approach women, reinforcing your view that you are, in fact, too shy. And the truth is unless you understand your limiting beliefs and how they affect how you interact with others, you will continue to attract people who support your negative self-perceptions.

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I’m not tall enough.

I’m not interesting enough.

I don’t make enough money.

I’m not cultured or well-travelled enough.

I’m not bold enough.

I’m not assertive enough.

I don’t own a house yet.

I’m not stylish enough.

I’m not fit enough.

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Do any of these sound familiar? If so, ask yourself: How and when did I start seeing myself this way? Who told me I was not enough? How has this limiting belief shaped the opportunities I did or did not pursue?

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Navigating these questions can be tricky. But the juice is well worth the squeeze. Many of us want to close the gap between how we see ourselves and how the world sees us. But the only way to do that is to confront our limiting beliefs and decide for ourselves how much weight they hold. If we’re insecure about something that we have the power to change, and that would ultimately lead to greater fulfillment, then we owe it to ourselves to do the work necessary to achieve that change.

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On the other hand, we must remind ourselves that we are worthy just as we are. For example, if you’re on a mission to lose weight and put on muscle, do so from a place of loving your body and being thankful that you can exercise. Do it from a place of gratitude that you have the resources to eat healthier foods. From this angle, losing weight becomes a gain, not a loss. In other words, change because you wish to be better, not because you feel you’re not good enough.

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REAL TALK

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I know I’m a cool person, but all I can think about when I meet a guy I’m super into is: Does my butt look good in these pants? If I add a kissy face emoji in my text, is that too much?! We’re all insecure. I just care about making an impression in a city where there’s a zillion women for each high-quality guy.

—Natasha, 26

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Face Your Romance-Related Fear And Anxiety

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Fears and anxieties trouble all daters, and for a good reason. Fear exists to protect us from harm, while dating demands we make an emotional investment in another person, exposing us to disappointment and heartbreak.

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At their core, fear and anxiety are not harmful to dating. If you’re not at least a little nervous, you’re probably not doing it right (or dating the right person). But rather than let fear and anxiety take the reins, it’s important to transmute those emotions into something constructive. The Latin root of emotion literally means in motion. It might be helpful to keep this in mind: instead of allowing our negative emotions to paralyze us, we can use them to propel ourselves toward what we want. For example, you may feel intimidated encountering a beautiful woman at the supermarket. Part of you yearns to approach her, but the other part is certain you’ll be rejected. What do you do? Many men will think, Why bother? and just continue about their day, all the while wondering, What if?

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But a rare few will answer that question for themselves by moving past their fear and approaching her; potential rejection be damned, allowing their emotions to carry them through their fear and surrender to the unknown. Sure, she may reply coldly or ignore you altogether. But what fun is a life in which you only act in the knowledge of a certain outcome?

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In the next section, I’ll arm you with a few strategies for overcoming your dating-related fears and anxieties.

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Embrace the Fear of Rejection

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Fear is a natural part of being human—an automatic mechanism alerting us to a threat. While your head knows the difference between the threat