Psychology Of Adultery

By Henry Maxwell

What is adultery? What are its signs? What are its consequences? How do you deal with it? What alternatives do we have and how do we recover? A manual that delves into the psychology of effective betrayal carried out by both men and women, and that generally leaves very deep wounds in confidence and self-esteem. why does love end? how to avoid cheating You can find all these and more answers in this book to be able to live love in all its fullness and not suffer one of the worst torments to the heart.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Editorial Afrodita
• Release date: Mar 12, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215763674

Book preview

Psychology

of adultery

Henry Maxwell

Ediciones Afrodita

Smashwords Edition

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Index

Chap.1 Why did we become monogamous?

Chap.2 What is affective betrayal?

Chap.3 The science behind the deception

Chap.4 Male infidelity

Chap.5 Female infidelity

Chap.6 Sexual desire in the couple

Chap.7 Ways of approaching adultery

Chapter 1

why did we become

monogamous?

A little history

Sexual infidelity is the cause of 90% of divorces in the United States. Cheating on a husband or wife, or having sex with a third party is perceived by most as a betrayal, a deception, a lack of respect, a blow to the self-esteem of the other, and is condemned by society. It wasn't always like this. When did it stop being profitable for a husband or wife to cheat? How will change in the future? And why, in general, has the natural human need for sex been regulated by morality?

Ancient benefits of monogamy

To be fair, we admit it: gluttony is also included in the list of deadly sins. Even non-religious people sometimes tend to criticize those who can't resist an extra hot dog or whipped cream pie: An increased focus on basic physiological needs may be associated with a weak will or a low level of development.

But no presidential candidate is in danger of losing the election if some vigilant paparazzi notices how he visits the fridge at night. But… if he starts visiting another woman, and being married, this could very easily be the end of his political career. How can a good voter trust this liar and traitor?

How did it happen that one of the basic instincts was squeezed into the framework of ethical categories?

All major monotheistic religions, in one way or another, preach sexual abstinence and limit the number of partners (one can argue that the Koran gives men an unfair advantage, but they don't exactly have carte blanche there). Since religions function as an ideological safety net for socially useful behavior, it means that a thoughtful choice of sexual partners is beneficial to society. Or at least it used to be profitable.

For those who believe that in ancient times people enjoyed endless orgies and only strict Christian moralists spoiled everything, a big surprise awaits: the ancient Greeks, for quite philosophical reasons, believed that having sex only with legal spouses was good and it reduced uncertainty and disorder in the world. For women, the conditions were stricter, but husbands gradually tightened, as early as the IV-III centuries BC men were strongly discouraged from bringing concubines into the house.

Being always strongly influences consciousness, and about 10 thousand years ago, the material side of human life changed radically. It was during this time that agriculture emerged. And, for better or worse, this affected people's sexual relationships.

Before this, our hunter-gatherer ancestors lived in a society where the need to share was the key to survival. Today a boar was caught by one hunter, tomorrow by another, and each of them was to share the spoils with the tribe: how else can you guarantee that when you get nothing, you still get a share?

To find new bison and new berry fields, the old ones could walk hundreds of kilometers a month, and personal property in the tribes was reduced to a minimum; under such conditions, it was quite difficult to know where the children were and who was caring for them.

Agriculture fundamentally changed these views. It suddenly became incredibly important to know where your cultivated field ends and your neighbor's field begins in order to pass private property to your offspring. This thought is perfectly expressed in the tenth commandment: You shall not covet your neighbor's house, you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his male servant, or his maidservant, or his ox, or his donkey, anything that is your neighbor's.

It is no accident that a wife halfway between a house and a donkey was included in this list - she became a rather valuable kind of property, giving birth (in the case of peasant families) to new hardworking hands and in all cases, heiresses of everything that was cultivated, collected and accumulated. Nobody wanted to pass donkeys and houses to other people's children. So this was not the most romantic transition to monogamy.

There are another important factor: sexually transmitted diseases. Two scientists, the mathematician Chris Bouch and the anthropologist Richard McElrath, jointly calculated that in the days when people lived in small polygamous and nomadic groups, outbreaks of STIs (that is, sexually transmitted infections) did not cause serious damage to the population. population.

But with the beginning of settled life, the communities of people who lived in the community grew in size. It was then that STIs began to cause real epidemics if the neighbors lived according to the principles of polygamy. The ability to have children in such communities naturally decreased due to diseases of the reproductive organs, while monogamous groups managed to reproduce and multiply more efficiently. When villagers were able to see the connection between illness, death, and polygamy, monogamous relationships gained additional points in the rating.

When love began in marriage

The advent of agriculture is not the only time in history when the format of relationships has changed along with economic realities. The next leap occurred during the transition from a traditional society to an industrial one: where before, work and the experience of several generations were required to survive, and now, two pairs of adult hands were enough.

Urbanization also turned out to be an important factor: newlyweds had the opportunity to move out of their foster homes. This made sexual life much more intimate: in some peasant huts, there was simply no way to withdraw from the gazes of the rest.

At the same time, sex education first appeared on the broad agenda. Before this, children in the lower strata of society received information directly from observations of their environment, and in the higher ones, there was a large gender gap: for a young nobleman it was permissible to satisfy his interest with a prostitute to debut and calm his lust; while noblewomen were content with highly