Should Be Talked About More

By Book rivers and amrita kaur

How do you escape when your mind is where you are trapped in ,How do you feel safe when the place you call home is filled with your demons 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Book rivers
• Release date: Mar 11, 2023
• ISBN: 9789355158710

Book preview

to everyone out there struggling with their mental health

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how do you escape when your mind is where you are trapped in

how do you feel safe when the place you call home is filled with your demons

how do you run away when your legs collapse just trying to support your body

how do you think when your head is always bursting with a million intrusive thoughts

how do you tell your truth when you know that your truth will hurt everyone you love

how do you eat when you don’t deserve this is playing on repeat in your mind

how do you stop hurting yourself when you know you deserve this pain

how do you stop yourself from going insane when you have no control over anything

how do you love yourself when you hate every inch of your body and mind

how do you function when you barely have enough energy to get out of bed every day

and before you know it, therapy appointments turn into psychiatrist appointments

medications fail for the 100th time and you lose that tiny bit of hope you were clinging onto

it goes back to starving your body and harming yourself in every possible way

questioning your worth turns into questioning what you did to deserve this constant pain  

in the end, it’s you on your bed, staring at the ceiling with blurry vision, wishing you could end it all.

all it took was your boyfriend to tell you that he preferred skinny girls

all it took was your father to tell you that working out was exactly what you needed

it just took that much to remind you of your forever image of the skinny girl

it just took that much for you to realize that you had ruined that image for yourself

decreasing how much you eat a day didn’t seem like a big deal, so you did it

but the more you controlled your food intake, the more you thought about food

when is my next meal? what should I eat? how much should I eat?

am I eating too much? should I continue to skip meals even when my stomach is growling?

you end up starving your body; losing 10kgs in 2 months

without your family noticing and your boyfriend being proud of you

you had to keep going, you couldn’t get yourself to stop

not even after five days of ivy fluids and painkillers

a thousand blood tests, ultrasounds, and CT scans

you can’t tell the doctors who want to perform surgery on you that you have no illness

you do have one, just not one that you can see

not even the most brutal five